by S. K. Lessly
I couldn’t be the star on Shane’s arm, and the sooner he understood that, the better. I should’ve told him about my shortcomings a long time ago, but instead, I had played games with his heart. I had made him believe that in the end, he’d have mine. In truth, he did have my heart. He possessed my soul always and forever. We just weren’t meant to be.
The inability to have kids may not be a big deal to some, but it was huge to me. It was the reason why I’d worked so hard to keep my distance from him. Shane deserved the world. He deserved to be happy, to have a woman who not only worshiped the ground he walked on but one that was humble and submissive. Most importantly, he deserved a woman who could give him a family with children who could carry on his family’s name. I believed that wholeheartedly, which was why I’d done my best to keep my feelings to myself.
My lack of functioning reproductive organs wasn’t something I was born with. They were damaged in combat. Yup, just my luck, right? I had been exposed to some agent that I was told could cause cancer and infertility. And because of someone’s screw up, sending my team to a place we shouldn’t have been, I was given a shiny medal, a pat on the back and discharged papers.
Any story about a female serving her country, wounded like I was from stupidity, wasn’t something the military wanted. It didn’t make for good press. So, I was offered every supportive program the military had in order to keep me from spilling my story.
What they didn’t realize was the depth of my loyalty. I was a Marine always and forever until the day I drew my last breath. I didn’t fault anyone for what had happened to me. It had been my duty to serve and serve I had done. It didn’t matter that my future had been stripped away from me. The way I saw it, if I were meant to have kids, the Marines would’ve issue me some.
Still, I could see why they’d panicked. What had happened to me shouldn’t have happened, but it was nothing compared to what had happened to my squad. We were sent on a simple mission that turned tragic in a blink of an eye. Everyone but me died horrible deaths both on the scene and after and I couldn’t help them.
I just stood there, helpless as they writhed in pain. Even when some of them took their own lives, there wasn’t anything I could do to stop them. It happened so fast. I couldn’t save them. All the skills I possessed, the training I underwent, it meant nothing. I couldn’t save my team. I failed them and I had to live with that fact.
I didn’t lie when I told Shane I was broken. Their deaths had taken a toll on me. The memory was deep and caused a change in me that I was still trying to recover from. It took a lot for me to find parts of myself again. I had become the shell of the woman I once was when I was discharged. I was depressed, sleep deprived and lost for such a long time.
My husband, once he learned I was broken and couldn’t give him any kids, left. My parents tried to be there for me, but it was hard. I didn’t make it easy for them because I couldn’t shake the blame I felt. I came home to my family; my team who had families, wives, children, did not. I’d punish myself for years to come. In fact, I was still punishing myself. I felt as if I didn’t deserve to live happily ever after. They didn’t.
I inhaled the sea air one last time before I headed back inside. Tired of the pity-party I was putting on. It was time for me to stop running. I was tired. Exhausted. Now that everything was out in the open, I needed to face the people I’ve wronged, namely Sweets and Josh.
Shane was a lost cause.
It was over between us. I destroyed what we had the second I walked out on him. I wished I could turn back time and just talk to him. Tell him everything I was feeling. I let fear get the best of me and I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me. What I needed to do now was get my head on straight. I couldn’t afford to lose myself again.
I closed the sliding glass door to the patio and flopped back onto the bed, exhaustion winning over everything else. I closed my eyes and fell back to sleep. I’d deal with my shit after I took a quick nap.
I woke sometime later, with the summer glare washing over me. My body felt tense and stiff from a restless sleep. My chest still felt tight, my heart was heavy and my soul felt empty. I reluctantly rolled out of the bed, did the essentials in the bathroom, threw on some clothes, and decided to go for a run. I needed to do something to get my mind off my shit and the best way was to work out.
I put my body through a rigorous workout, for roughly five hours, consisting of lifting weights and lots and lots of cardio. Afterwards, I swam in the ocean to cool off, swimming from one end of the stretch of private beach to the other. Finally exhausting myself, I practically crawled out of the water, made my way to the back of the beach house I was staying at and flopped on a patio chair. I closed my eyes telling myself I was only going to rest for a minute before heading into the house to take a shower. A minute turned into a lot longer than expected.
I heard something faint in the distance and suddenly, woke up. I sat up into a sitting position, my eyes wide, my heart pounding against my chest. I looked around, taking a split second to take in my surroundings. Something woke me. I wasn’t sure what it could be. The only thing I heard was the waves caressing the beach. It was dark around me. The sun had set on me and the night covered the quiet skies. I strained to hear something else, anything out of place. Nothing stood out to me and yet the hairs on the back of my neck were at attention.
After a few seconds had passed, I tried to calm down. I wiped my hand down my face and breathed out slowly. Something startled me awake. I couldn’t tell what it was, but there was a reason why my stomach was in knots.
It’s nothing, King. You’re being paranoid.
I settled back against the chair on a huff. It was time to face the music. I was just about to make my inside, but paused when a gust of wind blew past me. I sat back up, alert and tense. There was something in the air. I could smell it mixed with the scent of the sea air. It was fear, excitement, sweat, and death, which only meant one thing. Something or someone was coming for me.
I quietly rose from the lounge chair and made my way inside the house, closing the sliding glass door behind me as silently as I could. I was met with the sound of an empty house. I willed my heart to slow, closed my eyes and tried to become one with my surroundings.
As a sniper, you had to learn the art of meditation. You needed to allow your mind to clear, your heart rate to slow, and your breathing to become almost nonexistent. Once I achieved that kind of Zen, there wasn’t anything I couldn’t hit. There wasn’t anyone I couldn’t kill. My senses were heightened. I could see better, hear better. I could touch the intangible, taste the blood of my enemy, and feel the reaper’s anticipation.
The second I opened my eyes, I found the source of my trepidation. I tilted my head up as quiet footsteps from above reached my ears. Someone was inside the house. I quietly stepped away from the sliding glass door, and crouched low, my bare feet silently carrying me toward the kitchen. I only heard one set of heavy footsteps, which meant there was more than one inside the house. No one would just send one person to kill me, if they were smart. They’d need an army. Yet, if they sent someone to kill me, they weren’t very smart. Payback was a motherfucker and I was that bitch.
I looked down at my attire and realized I wasn’t prepared to entertain company. For one, I was dressed in a pair of neon orange and black spandex shorts and matching spandex tube top and my feet were bare. Also, I had left my guns upstairs. Typically, that didn’t happen. I never went anywhere unarmed. However, I haven’t been myself lately. I blame Shane for my lapse in judgment.
The second I get out of here, I will definitely thank him.
I made it to the kitchen and pulled a steak knife from the knife block on the kitchen counter. There were reasons why I didn’t go for the big cleaver or chef knife. I needed something to yield easily for close quarter combat. The steak knife in my hand was sharp, and long. Exactly what I needed to slice someone’s throat or stab them in the heart.
I ducked down behind the isl
and, when I heard the sliding glass door open. I stayed in the shadows and waited. I counted the footsteps. One… two… three… heavily booted bodies made their way inside the house. I stayed crouched down and waited. Someone stepped inside the kitchen. They stood quietly, probably assessing the small space. Still squatting behind the kitchen island, I moved to my left when I heard footsteps moving to my right. I stayed low, the knife tight in my grip ready, waiting.
It’s now or never, King.
I crept around the island until I was right behind my victim. I had the element of surprise and I didn’t waste time. I quickly checked my back before I rose, grabbed the man in front of me by his chin, lifted his head and stabbed him in his carotid artery. Arterial blood spurted everywhere, painting the counters and walls. There was a loud gurgling sound coming from the big man and I prayed no one heard it.
I took the weight of his heavy body as he fell against me and I did my best to absorb his dead weight. I clumsily laid him on the floor and relieved him of his weapon, a Colt AR-15, semi-automatic rifle, military grade, with silencer.
Thank you very much.
I quietly checked my new toy. The magazine was fully loaded with one in the chamber. I removed the round and chambered another. I was ready to rock and roll. Unfortunately, I couldn’t grab any spare mags from the dead man. I didn’t have time. Someone was coming to check on their buddy and there was no way I was getting trapped inside this small kitchen.
Crouched low, I exited the small space just in time to see a figure emerge from the darkened living area. Before he could shoot me, I pressed the trigger, sending a suppressed round to his head. Just as he went down, another one popped his dark head right in my line of sight. I sent three rounds into his body, two to the chest and one to the head. However, before he went down, he sent a burst of automatic fire my way. So much for my surprise attack. Before I could find another target to shoot at, someone from the steps above their fallen buddy, started firing my way. I ran and slid on my side, using a throw rug to glide behind a huge sofa. I kept low as bullets ripped through the couch cushions and the wall above my head.
When I heard the volley die down some I sprang up, acquired targets through the rifle’s infrared scope and took them down one by one. I moved forward as I fired preparing to shoot anyone I saw coming down the steps or appearing on the landing upstairs with deadly accuracy.
I was just about to lower my weapon when the screen door exploded behind me. I ducked and took cover as more rounds destroyed the exact place where I stood.
Fuck!
I crawled on my belly to one of the guys I had shot, grabbed his gun and a mag from his belt. I released the clip, slammed in a fresh mag, turned on my back and returned fire.
I gotta get outta here.
I could feel them closing in on me. I got up, fired blindly behind me and made my way to the front door. I opened the door fast, got low and ran. Two figures in black appeared from the side of the house. I hit them both, one in the head, the other in the shoulder.
Then I ran like hell, bare feet and all, and let me tell you that shit wasn’t fun. It hurt like a son of a bitch but being dead would no doubt hurt more. I crossed the street and ran toward a dark forest. I had no idea what was on the other side, I just needed to create space and prayed I would get out of this alive.
I disappeared into high bushes and dense shrubs, praying there were no snakes. The sound of tires screeching and footsteps pounding on black top met my ears. My heart sank, but I ran on. I wasn’t sure how many there were behind me or how many bullets I had left. I just concentrated on getting space between us. After that, I could figure…
Suddenly, my face was hit with shards of wood chips and dust from a nearby tree. I twisted my head away from the debris and covered my face. I turned to look over my shoulder behind me. I couldn’t see a thing, but I felt it, felt him.
A fucking sniper.
I felt another bullet whip past my head to the right this time, then another, and another, tree bark pelting my face and arms as I ran. The son of a bitch was playing with me. I screamed out my frustrations and ran faster, ducking and weaving as best I could.
In the distance, I could hear rotor blades coming closer and I strained to make out the model. It was a Huey, a UH-1D Bell helicopter to be exact. I tried not to get excited but I prayed it was someone for me. Now, I had to stay alive long enough to find out.
I cut to the left and ran parallel to the road and the houses along the beach. There was a huge tree in front of me and I decided to use it as the best place to wait for either friendlies or enemies. I couldn’t outrun a sniper. I had no way to know where he was or if there was more than one. The best course of action was for me to…
Not seeing where I was going, I stubbed a toe over a tree root. “Fuck,” floated softly from my lips and I started hobbling for cover, hoping like hell I didn’t break a toe. I just had to get to that freaking tree then I could assess the damage and figure out my next move. I was inches away from safety when something slammed into left my hip. I cried out as pain erupted along my side. I clumsily went down hard, the momentum of the fall causing me to roll over and over. I balled my body up as I rolled, doing my best to protect myself, until I hit a large tree with a loud oomph.
I laid where I was, eyes closed, not moving. My chest was heaving, pain gripping my side like a vice, my body screaming from the collision with the tree. My brain began assessing any damage to my body, besides my hip. I moved my extremities, my legs, toes, feet, arms then fingers. Nothing seemed out of place or broken. I shifted my hand to my side and gingerly probed my skin. The pain was excruciating. Gritting my teeth, preparing for the worse, my hand cautiously moved to my lower left side.
When my hand pulled back with warm sticky fluid covering my fingers, I cursed. I didn’t need to see my hand to know what was coating my sticky fingers. The slick wetness and the scent of copper was enough evidence I needed.
I’d been hit.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
My hand went back to my hot skin and I started probing the wound, hoping like hell it was nothing.
I blew out a breath, realizing it was just a graze, and nothing serious. The shit hurt like a bitch, though. I growled as low as I could and shifted to my right. I made it to my hands and knees and crawled to the tree next to me. The tree wasn’t as wide as the other one I had seen but it would have to do.
I rested my back against the tree and pressed down on my side to try and stop the bleeding. I took a few labored breaths and quieted my heartbeat so I could hear the area around me. I was met with silence, which didn’t make me feel any better. I still felt the hairs on the back of my neck standing at attention. My stomach was tight with anticipation of being found by my enemy. They were close. I could smell them on the soft breeze floating by me.
I could still hear the faint sounds of rotor blades too. They were hovering above me. However, I wasn’t sure which direction the sound was coming from. I felt trapped. I could hear footsteps coming from all around me. The steps taken were faint but I could still hear them over the sound of the chopper above.
Yeah, I was well and truly fucked.
I closed my eyes and bit down the fear that wanted to rip through me. I wasn’t going down without a fight, that was for damn sure. I would take as many of them down with me.
Regret started to fill me as I thought about Shane, my parents, my family. There was a high probability that I would never see them again. The last words I said to my parents was that I loved them. But the last words I said to Shane…
Fuck, I couldn’t think about that or him. Besides, he would be better off, right? It was then that a horrific thought popped into my head, a memory if you will, that made my heart pick up its pace. Everything that had just happened, from me running into dark woods to being shot at, was very familiar. It was as if I was stuck in one of my horrible dreams except this dream was actually reality.
My dream.
Last night I dreamt I was running
in the woods, being chased by someone. A sniper fired on me, grazing me. I fell but was still alive. I got up, proceeded to run for my life when I ran right into Shane.
Oh my God! I gasped at the memory of that dream, a dream I had been having on repeat for weeks now. But he wasn’t here. He couldn’t be here. He had no idea where I was or that I was in trouble. Still, my gut was in knots. I closed my eyes and breathed in deep trying to center myself, and felt his presence. He was here. Maybe in that Huey I heard. Damnit!
I had to protect him.
But before I could think of a plan to find him, I heard the crack of a branch underneath a booted foot behind me to my right. I frantically looked around me for a weapon, I had lost the gun I had when I fell. A couple of feet in front of me was a large tree branch. I leaned forward, picked it up and held it tight in my hand. I stood, leaned my back against the tree, closed my eyes and listened.
At first, silence greeted me. Then I heard him. He was a few feet behind me moving slowly. I crouched a little and waited. Then he was there, right next to me. I let him pass me and waited a second or two before I attacked.
I swung the branch at the back of his legs, sending him to the ground. I then clobbered him on the back of his head, once, twice, three, four… until he stopped moving. I had no idea if he was dead or not. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the chance to check or grab his weapon. Four guys dressed in all black appeared from the shadows, all with M5s trained at my face, not the Colt AR-15 used by the guys in the house. A new team? No matter. They would receive the same fate.
I stood up straight and met their dark stares with narrowed eyes.
I was two seconds from talking serious trash, but I felt a presence at my back. I was cornered. I had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide.
Fuck it. I might as well go out swinging. I smiled, crouched, and got ready for the fight of my life.