by S. K. Lessly
Sweets’ eyes widened at my admission, probably hearing the desperation in my words. She began to stammer, which wasn’t a good sign, looked over her shoulder then back at me, “Oh, um… I don’t uh…know exactly where he is but... he’s here though. Let me—”
She was instantly cut off by a bear of a voice.
“Why is the door still open, woman? You’re letting all of the heat out. Who’s at…” Josh trailed off once he made it to the door and saw me.
He gave me a genuine smile that almost had me turning and running for the hills. The fear must have been evident on my face because his smile fell ever so slightly.
You have to understand. Josh only saves those types of smiles for Sweets and his kids. To see one aimed at you was something to behold and hell I wasn’t ready.
I quickly recovered and gave him a small smile.
“Hey.”
Josh recovered too and went back to his brooding.
“Hey yourself. Why the fuck are you standing outside. Get your skinny ass in here.”
I blanched at the comment about me being skinny and looked down at my body. I had lost a crap load of weight; however, I wasn’t ready to hear the truth from anyone else. My mother has been working hard at fattening me back up, feeding me foods with lots of carbs and sugar. My father, the good doctor, was loving the menu change, however I told him the moment I get my weight back he and I were hitting the gym. Needless to say, he hadn’t picked up sweets since then. I wondered why?
“Josh,” Sweets admonished, swatting her husband’s arm.
“What?” he frowned down at her and shrugged his shoulders. “I didn’t say anything she doesn’t already know.”
That was true and I was about to say that very thing, when his eyes came back to me. “So, are you finally going to come in?”
“I… um…” I stammered, trying to stop my heart from pounding against my chest. I looked from Sweets to inside the house.
Sweets, seeing me flustered, spoke up. “She’s looking for Shane.”
Josh’s eyebrows furrowed as he took me in. “Shane?”
“Yeah, babe. She said she needs him.”
“Needs him for what?”
Josh glanced curiously at me then back at his wife. He then looked at me again, his eyes now reaching to his forehead before his face hardened to stone.
Panic suddenly gripped me like a vise. I brought my hand up to stop him from going off the deep end. Too late.
“Where is that idiot fuck face. Shane!” Josh bellowed, turned on his heels and started back into the house. “Where is he? Shane!”
“Why are you yelling, Leone?” I heard his mom ask and I swallowed hard.
Sweets looked at me sympathetically, rubbed her very pregnant belly, and started after her husband, leaving me at the door.
Well, I guess I had to come in now. So much for getting him alone.
I stepped into the house and closed the door. The moment I stepped into the light of the family room; all eyes fell to me.
I gave the room a hesitant smile and a quick wave.
“Hey everyone.”
Silence.
God, this was awkward, but I carried on.
I shifted from foot to foot, wishing I was anywhere but here.
“Mama Joe, Pops. It’s good to see you. Hey mom, hey dad.”
I received smiles and hellos, but no one attacked me or jumped on me. I wasn’t sure if I should be grateful or offended.
There was another face in the room and I acknowledged her as well.
“Hello Amanda, it’s good to see you.”
Amanda, who looked well and truly shocked, gave me wide eyes as she said hesitantly, “It’s… good to see you too.”
“I don’t give a good got damn what I said before, Sweets. I’m not staying out of shit.” That was Josh of course. He and Sweets must have stepped inside the kitchen to talk. Apparently, she was trying to calm down the hulk, but was failing miserably.
“Where in the fuck is that asshole?”
“Leone!”
“Not sorry, Ma. He has some explaining to do. Shane!”
“Oh my god,” came the voice that damn near stopped my heart. It came from the patio door. One minute it was closed, the next he was stepping inside the house.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? I’m right outside. Damn,” he chastised, giving his brother a hard look. I was frozen where I stood unable to move or think.
I hadn’t seen him, in person, since he was lying in front of me bleeding to death. Damn, he looked good. His hair was a little longer than normal and he was still rocking that serious beard. That was the only difference. He still looked sexy as hell, built, and beautiful. I hadn’t noticed he wasn’t alone until I finished eye fucking him. My heart immediately plummeted to my toes and I started to feel the nerves revving up. Casey was standing next to him, attached to his arm as if she was made to be there.
“Someone is here to see you and they claim they need you,” Josh informed him, sarcasm lacing his voice. I snapped out of my trance and readied myself for his eyes to fall on me. When they did, however, I damn near fainted.
“Okay, who…” his voice trailed off the moment he caught sight of me.
Silence blanketed the room as he and I unabashedly took each other in.
Admittedly, my mouth went dry when his sea-colored eyes met mine. Shane was dressed in a black long sleeve Henley covered by a plaid red and black button down, which was undone. Dark blue jeans covered his powerful legs and black boots covered his feet. Did I say he looked good?
Well he did and it instantly made me nervous.
I didn’t get nervous, but I hadn’t been the same in a long time so I gave myself a pass.
Shane finally rested a curious look on his handsome face. He stepped further inside the family room, leaving Casey where she stood by the door.
“Hey,” I greeted lamely once he was standing directly in front of me.
“Hey yourself,” he replied then tilted his head to the side. “What are you doing here?”
Good question, Misty. Is it too late to turn around and run?
“She said she needed you,” Josh butted in. However, Shane never moved his eyes from mine.
“Okay. What is it that you need?”
Okay, Misty. Here it goes…
I glanced around the room trying to gain the courage I needed. I looked at Josh’s frowning face and took a deep breath, but before I could speak, Shane spoke up.
“Don’t tell me you’re here about the transfer because I can tell you right now, I’m not signing that fucking thing.”
That caught me off guard and so did the cold glare coming from his now full-fledged green eyes.
“Uh… I,” I flustered a few words from my shocked lips, trying to gather myself, but it was futile. The other Cooper added his two cents and I was thrown in a tailspin.
“What do you mean transfer? Are you trying to leave?” Josh asked me, his voice rising a few octaves. He stepped closer to me, hard eyes narrowed on me.
I backed up slightly, my eyes wide.
“Um… I—”
“That’s bullshit!” Josh yelled, talking over me. He looked at Shane. “You better not let her go or I’ll beat your ass.”
Shane looked at his brother, his face red with rage.
“Did you hear what the fuck I just said. I’m not signing no fucking transfer papers.”
Shane looked at me and stepped closer, narrowing his eyes on me. I fought the urge not to step back.
“Listen to me. You want to work more independently, fine. I’ll start assigning you more cases. I wasn’t trying to hold you back. I paired you with me, Malcolm, or Josh for one reason, so you wouldn’t lose yourself on a case. That’s all. It wasn’t because I thought you weren’t capable. I just wanted you to have as much support as you give us. So, if you want to take on some harder assignments by yourself we’ll work it out, but you aren’t leaving the team, you got that? No fucking way.”
&
nbsp; To say I was stunned would’ve been an understatement.
Truthfully, I had every intension of transferring from the unit. It had more to do with it being time for me to move on than Shane holding me back. I wanted to get away from the overprotective Coopers, I felt it was time. However, things changed the second I put in the request to transfer. I felt sick to my stomach just thinking about being without my team. Two days ago, I had requested to have the transfer pulled back. I guess Shane hadn’t gotten the memo yet.
“Misty, tell me you hear me?”
I nodded emphatically and spoke, “I hear you, Shane and um… thank you but that’s not why I’m here.”
That had him pausing, his face losing a bit of fire. He was still guarded, however, which was something that I didn’t want.
“It’s not?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Okay, then I’ll go back to my original question. Why are you here? What do you need?”
I breathed deeply through my nose and out of my mouth.
“I’m here for you.”
“Yeah, okay I get that. But what do you want?” Shane asked and I could feel myself getting frustrated. Was he really this dense?
I risked a step closer and looked him straight in the eyes.
“I told you I came here for you. I need you. That’s why I’m here.”
It took about a half a second before understanding finally clicked. His body relaxed in that moment, the tension leaving his shoulders.
“You’re here for me,” he uttered softly, more of a statement than a question.
I nodded. “Yeah, um… I’m here for you. I was hoping to um… well…I wanted to see if you wanted to go out with me. Maybe get a bite to eat. But I see you’ve already eaten.” I chuckled feeling really stupid right now. I knew he had eaten, after all, this was Sunday. He always ate Sunday dinner with his family.
Chalk my stupidity up to nerves please.
I charged on. “Maybe, if you have the time, we could go out for drinks or something. I really need to talk to you.”
“You want to talk?”
“Yeah, um… yes,”
Shane folded his arms in front of him. “Alright, let’s talk.”
“Really?” My eyes traveled around the room to the people watching us. “You want to talk hear? Now?”
“Yes. Just tell me. What do you need?”
Panic started crawling up my spine and that stupid voice started spewing doubt in my soul.
Granted, I wasn’t used to this shaky and unsure feeling running through me. I was an alpha female for Christ’s sake. I killed people for a living, hunted them down and ended their lives in seconds without batting an eye. Why was it so hard to talk to this man?
Because you’re afraid he’ll reject you. Because you’ve never been this vulnerable before in your life. Because if he doesn’t forgive you, you’ll be nothing.
“Grace,” Shane called sharply and I snapped out of my headspace and focused on him.
“Eyes on me. Now, tell me what do you need?”
I took a deep breath, gathered as much courage as I could and spoke, my voice timid and weak, dammit!
“Forgiveness,” I whispered, choked out a sob that nearly had me collapsing to the floor.
“Dammit,” I bit out on a harsh whisper, frustrated with myself than anything or anyone. Fighting back the tears, the shame, the disappointment, I turned to bolt. Before I could make the turn to leave, however, he was there. His strong hands cupped my left elbow and turned me back to face him.
With his free hand he touched my cheek, angling my face up to him.
“Grace,” he whispered so softly I could barely hear him.
“No, please, Shane.” My heart was pounding in my chest. It was getting harder to breathe. Shit, fuck, damn!
“I’m sorry. Just let me—” I began but he placed his fingers to my trembling lips stopping the words that fell from them.
“Shhh…Stop.”
He shifted closer to me, wrapped an arm around my waist and rested his forehead against mine. Needing to feel him too, I rested my hands on his hips, gripping his shirt tight in my fingers.
We stayed like that, our heart strings tethered together, our souls intertwined. His large hand splayed against my back, keeping me close, anchoring me to him. I prayed he’d never let me go.
I inhaled deeply, breathing him in, accepting his love, his strength. It was everything. Everything that I thought I would never have, and everything I had always wanted.
Shane placed a gentle kiss to my lips. I sniffed and hoped to god I didn’t have snot on my upper lip. If I did, he didn’t seem to care. He captured my lips with his in a tender kiss that quickly turned into a claim, a demand, longing.
He released my lips before I passed out and stared into my red-rimmed eyes. His thumb smoothed over my damp cheek, catching the tears I couldn’t control from falling.
“I’ve missed you,” he said on a whisper.
I smiled shyly up at him.
“I’ve missed you too.”
His eyes roamed every part of my face, as if he was taking me in for the first time, memorizing every curve, every line, every angle. He breathed out a sigh and shook his head.
“Don’t ever leave me like that again. Don’t…” he trailed off and those pesky tears of mine fell even harder.
“I won’t. But I need to… I need…” I stopped and swallowed the huge boulder in my throat and tried to speak again. “I’m sorry for everything. For not having the courage to stay, to come back, and for not being enough.”
“Fuck, Grace. Don’t say shit like that. You’re more than enough. You’re everything. Do you hear me? You mean everything to me. Everything, baby.”
“Shane,” I whispered, closing my eyes, feeling my chest tightening, my heart ready to explode from his declaration and he kept speaking.
“I love you, Grace, so fucking much.”
“Jesus…” I lowered my head resting on his rapidly falling chest. I inhaled then exhaled slowly, giving in to the torrent of emotions consuming me.
After a few seconds of clarity, of finality, I opened my eyes. I could barely see his face through my tears. I trapped his face between my hands and did my best to look him in the eyes as I spoke.
“I’ve been in love with you since the first day we met. I’ve been waiting for the chance to show you just how much I wanted you and I almost messed it up. I tried to play it cool but deep down I wanted to confess my soul to you when you kissed me for the first time.” I rubbed his bearded cheeks and smiled through my tears.
“I’m yours. I want to be, need to be yours, if you’ll have me. Body, twisted mind, and scarred soul. I’m yours. I love you.” I kissed him. “I love you.” I kissed him again and again and again, until he cursed against my lips, dove his tongue into my mouth and devoured me.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back with the same intensity. Tears kept falling, but I didn’t let go of him, I couldn’t.
“Let’s get out of here, go to my place so we can be alone,” he said, after releasing my lips. He rested his forehead against mine and held me tight.
I shook my head and chuckled softly.
“Now you want to talk?” I said softly.
Shane leaned back so he could look at me.
“No. I don’t want to talk.”
Confused and admittedly slow, I asked, “Then what do you want to do?”
Shane didn’t respond. He just gave me a few seconds for everything to click. When it did, my eyebrows rose and I looked past him to my parents but they weren’t there. I looked for his parents but they weren’t there either. Actually, it was just us standing in the middle of the family room.
“Where did everyone go?” I asked lamely.
“They gave us privacy,” he explained without moving his eyes from me. “Never mind them. Do you want to come home with me?”
I looked up at him and grinned. “Yeah, that would be great.”
Shane kissed my nose then placed a soft kiss to my swollen lips.
“Let’s go.”
He clasped our hands together and started for the door when someone called behind us, “You hurt her and there will be nothing left of you for Ma to bury, you got me?”
Shocked as hell, I turned around to find Josh standing in the doorway to the kitchen. He had this look on his face that made me shudder. Hell, I could have sworn I felt Shane shudder too.
To Shane’s credit he didn’t let his little brother know he got to him. He sent a chin lift his way in acknowledgement and addressed brother.
“Yeah, little brother, I got you.”
Josh looked at me and I braced myself for the same threat he gave his brother but none came. Instead, he walked toward me, bent low and kissed me on my forehead. When he stepped back, my eyes were bulging out of their sockets.
“You deserve all of the happiness this world has to offer. Let him in. He loves you something fierce. He won’t let you fall. He’ll have your back always and walk through fire for you. You got me?”
I nodded, cleared my throat and said softly, “I got you.”
Josh merely nodded, turned and walked back into the kitchen.
Shane and I stood there frozen for a few seconds before we looked at each other and blew out a breath neither one of us realized we were holding.
“You ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever me.”
“Let’s get out of here.”
26
Misty
A shiver ran through my body as I took in the night from Shane’s patio. I was dressed in only Shane’s T-shirt, which did nothing to keep the cold winter air at bay. The crazy thing about it, I didn’t feel a thing. The body shivers that racked my body had more to do with the man lying in the bedroom behind me than anything else.
Goodness… shiver
Insatiable… shiver
Feral… shiver
Mine… shiver
I closed my eyes as a smile slowly crept along my frozen face.
I hadn’t expected how the night ended, sweaty, joyous, exhausted, satisfied, completeness. It started off in a panic and ended with our limbs entwined in every way imaginable, our lips close, our soft gasps and moans blending with the sweet melody of our lovemaking.