by Sara Marion
“Well you could say I paraphrased him, but I learned it because of you. You help out so many kids and I saw the way they looked up to you. The way you changed their lives. You make me want to be a better person.” Kenleigh confessed.
“I’m so sorry Ms. Bailyn,” Cici interrupted. “I was on break and they couldn’t find me to let you know you were here.”
“You’re fine Cici. We haven’t even looked at the menu yet.” Kenleigh smiled. “I think we will start with waters for now.”
“Right away,” Cici said as she fluttered behind the bar. She came back quickly and set the drinks down in front of them.
“I will buzz when we are ready,” she said dismissing Cici. Cici looked disappointed like she did something wrong by not coming up sooner.
“Actually, can you grab us some alligator tails?” Jack piped in. Cici nodded and quickly left them again.
They looked over the menu in silence. When Jack laid his menu down, Kenleigh glanced nervously at him.
“Are you ready to order?” Jack asked her.
She got up and picked up a phone behind the bar. Jack watched her as she requested that Cici come back up to take their orders. He couldn’t believe that his best friend was stock piling cash for him. He would have to figure out what to do with that money. He figured maybe he could throw it in the business somehow.
Over dinner they talked more about Oasis and how the day-to-day business goes for it. The more that Jack thought about it the less he thought about Paxton. He decided that running Oasis would be good for him. It would give Kenleigh a little more time at the boutique when needed. She told Jack how she wanted to design a new line of lingerie for the summer season but she hasn’t had time because Oasis started taking up more of her time. When they finished their last bite of food, the band started playing. Jack didn’t even notice them setting up below them. He smiled over at Kenleigh. For the first time in a few weeks, his thoughts were happy and so was he.
“I’m sorry I can’t ask you to dance.” He looked over the railing to the crowd slowly starting to assemble on the dance floor.
Tonight she had a bluesy-jazz band playing. She explained earlier she books the bands, of which most were local bands. She kept the schedule online so patrons would know what kind of music to expect to start playing about nine o’clock every night.
“Well, what kind of date are you?” She laughed as she set her napkin on the table.
“Well, if you must know…” They both laughed.
“God, I missed you Jack,” Kenleigh said once her laughter subsided. Her eyes went down to her plate as if she wanted to say something more but Jack couldn’t figure her out.
“What is it Kitten?” Jack studied her waiting for her to say something. She didn’t. He was about to press her more but Cici came out of the elevator. She collected their plates.
“Anything else tonight?”
“No Cici. That will be all. We’ll be leaving here shortly.”
“Alright, you both have a good night.” She smiled as she turned and left.
Jack got up and steadied himself on his crutches. He held his hand out to help Kenleigh up. She took it but he noticed she was mulling something over but she wasn’t going to share until she was ready, until she thought it through.
As they climbed back into the car, Jack realized he wasn’t ready to go back to the house. He didn’t want to deal with his parents. He had enough of them and he needed to get out of there. He just needed to collect his things.
“Jack?” Kenleigh’s small voice broke his focus on his parents. He looked over at her. “I want you to stay with me, at my house until you can figure things out. I know your parents and that they are driving you insane. You can have your space to deal with Paxton and then when you are ready you can move out at any time.” She held her breath when she was done. It was a bold move on her part. Jack sat back astonished at what Kenleigh just offered him.
“I’m not good company all the time Kenleigh,” he said testing the waters. He wasn’t sure where this offer was coming from but he was tempted to take it. He just didn’t want to intrude.
“My house is plenty big enough for your brooding,” she countered. “Besides I’m your best friend Jack. I will be there for you at any time you need someone. Plus you wouldn’t have to worry about your parents.”
Jack sat there and thought about it. Kenleigh stared at him waiting for an answer. Jack just didn’t know if this was a good idea or not. He didn’t want anything to change in their friendship. What if she changed her mind in a few days? At the same time Jack’s thoughts of how miserable he was at his parents’ house came to the forefront of his argument.
“You’ll tell me to leave if you change your mind, right? Even if it’s tomorrow morning?” Jack asked. Kenleigh nodded.
“Promise? You have to promise me you will tell me Kitten.” He clarified. Their gazes were locked. Her green eyes filled with worry about this. Jack’s gaze hardened. “Promise.” He said again.
“I swear I will kick you out if I change my mind,” she said. Jack stared a few moments longer to make sure she wasn’t lying.
“Let’s go get my things.” He smiled. Relief washed over her. Jack wasn’t sure why she was so worried about it but he was glad to have a friend around.
THIRTEEN
Paxton just got out of another appointment with Dr. Keeler and heard her stomach growl. She had the last appointment of the day and she noticed it was nearing dinner time. She climbed into her car and started driving back to the house. On the way she thought about how her appointment went. She had mostly talked about her remodeling efforts on the house. She didn’t want to talk about Ella and she has still yet to talk anymore about Jack. Dr. Keeler did seem pleased that she decided to try to move on and how Paxton started with her home. Paxton realized that she made it appear she was moving on even though she really hadn’t. She still thought about Ella and her life spiraling out of control. Her focus shifted as she realized it was the first appointment where they actually talked about her and Dr. Keeler didn’t push about her past.
She pulled up to the cabin but didn’t place her car in the garage. She parked out front and stared at it. It was still the house of her dreams. She remembered when Jack said he would build it for her. He bought about ten acres of land, which about 80% was covered in trees. They were in a wooded area on the back side of town near the highway that would take you down to Riley, KS. Jack had cleared a spot about a half-mile away from the road and built the cabin which ended up being almost 9,750 square feet. They always called it a cabin but to the average person it was just a large, two-story house.
The outside had a faux-wood look to it. There were a couple tall windows on both sides of the double-door. There was a porch that wrapped around the house. Paxton loved the porch. She had always wanted a wraparound porch. Paxton pulled her keys out and decided to go in through the front door. She wanted to take in the house and its beauty. She wanted to fall in love with it all over again as her own place, not one she shared with Jack.
She walked through the door into the large foyer. She was greeted by a staircase with walkways on either side. She remembered she argued with Jack about it but in the end he was right. It made the more sense. To the right, the living room sat. Paxton walked into it.
She loved how big it was. There was a separate sitting area around the fireplace then what she called the entertainment side which is what friends would walk into first. There was the large sixty-inch flat screen mounted on the wall. Around it were built-in entertainment center shelves. They were lined with gaming systems, blue-ray players and the accessories for everything. Below the TV were large drawers. She pulled them open to see the games and movies. She scanned the titles, finding many of her favorites tucked away. She thought maybe she would have a movie night, try to invite some of her old friends over.
From the sitting room, Paxton walked into the library. It was her favorite place in the house. She had a desk in here where she poured
over the medical procedures. She ran her hand across the smooth wood of the polished desk. Her chair was neatly tucked in under it. She walked around and sat in it. The notebook in front of her was for a new stitch procedure with delicate linings of the intestine. Paxton smiled at her dedication and notes in the margin. She missed her job as a surgeon. Paxton stood and tucked her chair again. She looked at the built-in shelves around her. One wall was filled with books about anatomy, physiology, studies, and procedure books, anything that would help her become a better surgeon. The other three walls were filled with books and picture frames. Jack bought her every book she desired. Her library quickly filled up once they both moved in.
Paxton walked back to towards the foyer. Across from the living room was a small office. She didn’t bother going in there because it was Jack’s office. All his stuff would be in there. Next to his office was a small bathroom. On the other side of the bathroom was the laundry room. It was small too but who needed a large laundry room? She knew she needed enough room for the steamer and machines, which is what anyone would see if they looked in it. Next to it was her dream kitchen.
Her kitchen would be any chef’s dream. It was large and had state of the art equipment. There was a lot of counter space and a large island in the middle. She had stacked ovens and a griddle next to the range. She had two deep-tub sinks and a top of the line dishwasher. She had a pot rack hanging above the island. The kitchen opened up into the dining room where a table overtook part of the room. It was large table that could seat eight to ten people if necessary. Paxton remembered the nights that table was full with friends having a good time.
Paxton smiled remembering the good times she had in the house. She walked back down the hallway to get back to the stairs. She realized sometimes it was good to remember. She had been trying to freeze time and create a world for herself in the institution. She was punishing herself in there. She wasn’t dealing with her issues. She needed too. There was only one place upstairs she wanted to visit. The spare bedrooms were the same, no real memories in there.
She turned left at the top of the stairs. She passed the door to her bedroom and went to the one that shared a wall with it. She opened it and it was set up as nursery at the moment. Her heart fluttered. Paxton remembered how Jack surprised her with this a few months before their fourth anniversary.
He thought of everything nursery would need. He had the crib, changing table, bookshelf, dresser, playpen, toy box, and a rocker in the corner. He had decorated it in a jungle theme. Everything matched. He told Paxton that when she was ready to have kids, they wouldn’t have to worry about anything. They would have everything they needed so she could still focus on surgeries and herself. He knew her one fear, the fact that it would be too overwhelming to have a surgical schedule and prepare for a baby. She was afraid of being a bad mother because her schedule was hectic and would barely be there some days.
Paxton went over and sat in the chair. She wondered what would have happened if she were pregnant or had a child when Ella left. Would she have shut herself away? Paxton’s thoughts were broken into by her phone buzzing. She had a text message.
Duke: Busy tonight?
Paxton: Yes. She knew it was a lie.
Duke: what are you doing?
Paxton sighed. She knew she needed to create distance from Duke.
Paxton: Going out.
Duke: With who?
Paxton: Does it matter?
Duke: Yes.
Paxton: Why?
She waited for an answer but he never did reply. She sat in the rocker when her thoughts turned back to babies. After about fifteen minutes, she looked at her phone and still no reply. Paxton then hear her stomach rumble. She decided it was time to make dinner. She stood and started walking out of the room.
She turned when she reached the door frame, peering back at the room. Her heart dropped knowing this room went unused and it broke a little more knowing she had been keeping a dark secret from everyone around her. She gave a brokenhearted smile as she shut the door. She headed down the stairs and turned to go into the kitchen when she heard a car pull up. She wasn’t expecting anyone so she looked out the window. She saw Duke climb out of his truck. He was stalking up to the house almost as if he were angry. He slowed a bit when he saw her peeking out the window. Paxton opened the door as he reached it.
“Why are you hiding?” Duke asked as he walked into the house.
“Hello to you too,” Paxton said closing the door behind him. Duke turned to face her, hands on his hips.
“Answer my question? Are you shutting yourself away again? Because if you are, I will be here every day to snap you out of it. I can’t see you go back there. I can’t.”
“I’m not hiding. I was just getting ready to make myself dinner.” She walked past him towards the kitchen. He grabbed her arm.
“Don’t lie to me,” he whispered in her ear. “Please just tell me what’s going on? I know you aren’t busy tonight.”
“I’m not lying.” She didn’t look at him. “I am busy having a quiet night in my house. I was going to watch movies.” She jerked her arm out of his hand and headed towards the kitchen.
“So you did lie when you told me you were going out.” She heard Duke call from down the hall. She turned to head into the kitchen. She grabbed a pot and started filling it with water. She didn’t have to explain anything to him.
“Please, just talk to me.” His arms came on either side of her. She froze, he was caging her against the sink. She didn’t reply she waited for him to move. “Pax…” He sighed.
She lifted the pot of water and turned towards the stove. Duke lifted one of his arms and Paxton moved away from him. She placed it on a burner and lit the gas stove, before turning around to face Duke she paused. Why did he suddenly care how she spent her nights?
“It’s been over week Duke. I haven’t seen or heard from you.” She then turned to face him. “The last time you were here you were drunk then you took care of me when I broke down. The next day we acted like we were together. We played house. We pretended everything was fine, well guess what? It wasn’t, still not.” She took a few steps to get to the island and grab the jar that housed the noodles. She then went to the pantry and grabbed the sauce.
“You were late for an appointment. I waited for you to call me. When you didn’t, I figured you needed your space. I didn’t expect you to shut yourself away again,” Duke countered. Paxton detected a hint of hurt and anger in his voice. She set the ingredients she gathered on the counter.
She slammed her hands on the counter. “I’m not shutting myself away! If you haven’t noticed I have been busy redecorating this place. I have been trying to erase Jack!” She turned her head and glared at him. “I’ve been trying to erase every memory in this place but I can’t get rid of them.”
She felt tears sting her eyes at the aspects of her life that were now missing. “I was just up in the nursery thinking about where I would be if Jack and I had a child. A child! What about you and Ella? Where would you guys be if I hadn’t been distracted that night? What if I focused on my task at hand and not where I should have been at that moment?”
Duke pulled her into his arms. She shoved him back.
“You can’t fix it! You can’t just hold me and magically make everything better. I have to do this on my own, my own way.” She turned towards the stove. “If that means being by myself and checking out, then that is what I will do.”
She went and saw the water was beginning to boil. She threw the noodles in and grabbed some tongs to move them around in the pot. She heard the front door close. She quickly turned and saw she was alone in the kitchen.
She let the tears fall. She suddenly wasn’t hungry. She turned the stove off and crumpled on the floor. She crossed her legs and bent forward, hanging her head in her hands. Her memories of Jack came through. She saw how happy they used to be, the perfect life they built, and the smile that he reserved just for her. She saw how he cared for her and the
n her focus started to turn to Ella. She quickly tried to avoid them. She tried to build those walls back up again to keep the memories at bay.
She didn’t know how long she had been on the floor. She knew she had to pick herself up. She knew that if Ella were here they would be going out tonight. It was ‘Fantastic Friday’ as Ella would say. They would hit the town and just have fun. Paxton decided that is exactly what she needed. She got up and went up to get ready. She needed a distraction from her mind, her memories.
It took her about forty-five minutes to get ready. She came back in a dress she hadn’t worn since she first met Jack. It was a silver dress with the back cut in a low-V. It was a little loose on her because she lost some weight over the past few months but she still looked good in it. She called for a cab right before she finished putting herself together.
A few minutes before the cab was supposed to be there, she checked herself out in the floor length mirror. She left her hair in loose curls and put on a pair of leopard print heels. Her makeup gave her the sex kitten look Ella said she pulled off so well. Paxton knew tonight she was going to become the girl that Ella used to be, the one Ella pushed her to become, the wild child, go-with-the-flow girl, the easy girl.
She smoothed out her dress as she heard a honk come from the driveway. The cab was here. She took one final look, grabbed her clutch and headed out the door.
FOURTEEN
Paxton arrived in Aggieville, the local bar scene in town. It’s where everyone went to party, especially the college students. The cab had dropped her off by Varney’s, the local book store. After Paxton climbed out of the cab, she smoothed the wrinkles out her dress. She headed towards Rusty’s. It was her and Ella’s start out point. She walked up and she provided her ID that the bouncer motioned for. She smiled at him and the fact she was still getting carded. The bouncer handed her ID back and she placed it in her clutch as she started walking to the bar. The outside was remodeled slightly with marble slab tables with a strip of fire running down the middle. It was a little past nine. She knew the crowd wouldn’t show up until about 10:30, so not too many people were out yet.