The Suicide Club

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The Suicide Club Page 18

by Gayle Wilson


  “That makes it sound more serious than it really is. There are certain kids who seem to be golden. Their parents are involved in the school or the booster clubs or just the movers and shakers in the community. Influential in some way. Or the kids are achievers, either academically or in sports. They get away with more than the normal, run-of-the-mill student.”

  “Probably no different than any other high school.”

  “I’m sure it’s not,” she said a little stiffly. “You asked me what people complained about.”

  “Is that it?”

  For a moment Lindsey didn’t say anything. Despite her silence, Jace knew there was more. Something that, for some reason, she didn’t want to tell him.

  “He’s a flirt.”

  “With the students?”

  “Not that I know of, but…It’s just an attitude some men have in dealing with women. A lot of them would pass it off as teasing, but it’s more than that. It’s an awareness they convey that you’re a woman and they’re men.”

  “Campbell does that?”

  “I don’t even know if it’s intentional. Maybe his father was that way. Maybe it’s just a habit he had when he was young and single that he’s never broken.”

  “He do that with you?”

  “I don’t think I’m his type.” For the first time since they’d started this discussion, she smiled.

  “Who is?”

  There was another hesitation before she answered. “Shannon. For one. Anyone could see why he’d be attracted to her. Everyone is. Guys, I mean. Maybe because she’s a little more—I don’t know—more exotic than the rest of us, he seemed to think that kind of sexual innuendo is okay.”

  “It bother her?”

  Lindsey laughed. “Shannon’s used to having that effect on men. I don’t think it bothers her so much as it annoys her. It’s just inappropriate.”

  “You’ve seen this? Or has she just told you about it.”

  “A little of both.”

  “You think the rumor Harrison was talking about had to do with Campbell and someone associated with the school.”

  “I didn’t. But looking back…Maybe.”

  “I better talk to Harrison.”

  “If you do, he’ll know I told you.”

  “Does that bother you? Given what’s going on?”

  “What if that conversation had nothing to do with any of this? Not Andrea. Not the church fires. Not…Not the things that have happened to me. I’ll feel as if I’ve betrayed a friend for no reason.”

  “I think the more important question, and the more logical one with the timing of what you overheard, is what if it does have something to do with any or with all of those things?”

  “All of them?”

  “My instincts say that none of those events happened in a vacuum. And trust me, Lindsey, neither did that conversation.”

  Eighteen

  For a few seconds after she opened her eyes, Lindsey didn’t know where she was. Then everything she’d tried to block from her consciousness during the last few days was back. She was in Jace’s apartment because once more she hadn’t been able to bear the thought of sleeping alone. Sleeping alone…

  Looking up into the darkness, she replayed her arrival tonight in her head. Clearly, Jace hadn’t been expecting her. That was hardly surprising, since she hadn’t expected to come.

  Shannon had offered her a bed. Her folks would have welcomed her. Yet she’d shown up at the home of a man she’d met less than two weeks ago. A man who’d sworn to “serve and protect.”

  There was nothing personal about Jace’s concern for her safety. To him, ensuring that was nothing more than his job. So why the hell couldn’t she get that through her head?

  She turned on her side, punching her pillow into a more comfortable shape with her fist before she closed her eyes again, determined to go back to sleep. It was embarrassing that she kept intruding on him like this. Embarrassing and ridiculous and incredibly needy.

  Which was exactly what Jace must think. That she was using this as an excuse to latch on to him. Why shouldn’t he? She was an unmarried and unattached school teacher in a one-stoplight town who kept showing up on his doorstep.

  She sighed, tired of trying to determine the proper social protocol for your actions when someone was trying to hurt or kill you. This was hardly the time to be worried about what the cop who’d gotten you into this mess thought about you. Yet she couldn’t seem to get that question out of her mind.

  Maybe because you’re sleeping in his bed.

  A bed in which the scent of his body lingered. Or rather the scent of whatever soap or shampoo he used.

  Despite the smoke that had clung to his clothing last night, she had smelled this same masculine, highly seductive fragrance when he’d put his arm around her at the stadium. And even in the midst of everything going on, she’d responded.

  She opened her eyes, glancing at the clock. Almost five. And the way she felt now, with everything rushing through her brain again, she probably wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. She had managed to do that last night only because she’d been exhausted. And because she’d felt safe.

  Now all the things she’d tried to put out of her head were back. She could lie here, beating herself up or she could get up, get her clothes on and head back to her house.

  Like an adult.

  Maybe, if she was lucky, she could get out of the apartment without waking Jace. All she knew was that she couldn’t lie in his bed another minute. She threw the sheet off and sat up on the edge of the mattress.

  She’d slept in her own T-shirt tonight, choosing not to borrow one of Jace’s. That had been a little too intimate. Like sleeping in his bed?

  She walked over to the chair where she’d again draped her jeans. In the interest of getting out of here faster, she stood on one foot, holding them out in front of her so she could insert her other leg into the opening.

  In her hurry she lost her balance, bumping into the wall before she righted herself. She froze, listening for some response from the front of the apartment, before she quickly finished dressing. She used her fingers to comb her hair, refusing to use the mirror in the bathroom. She was leaving. What did it matter how she looked?

  She reached for the knob and hesitated again, reluctant to put what had seemed like a logical plan only moments before into action. She didn’t want to go outside and get into her car in the dark. She didn’t want to walk into her empty house. She didn’t want—

  The door opened, causing her to step back. A dim light in the front of the apartment silhouetted Jace’s body, his shoulders seeming to fill the doorway.

  “You all right? I thought I heard something.”

  “I bumped into the wall when I was putting on my jeans. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “You didn’t. What are you doing?”

  “Going home.”

  His eyes flicked to the clock on the bedside table. “Why? It’s not even daylight.”

  “I know. But…eventually there comes a time…”

  “A time?”

  “I can’t live with you, Jace.”

  This had all made sense when she’d been by herself, but now it sounded childish. At least he didn’t respond with the obvious—that he hadn’t asked her to live with him.

  “I get that. It still doesn’t mean you should go home in the middle of the night.”

  “What I meant was I can’t keep coming over here. At some point I have to come to terms with what’s happened.”

  “You might want to give yourself more than forty-eight hours. It would take most people a lot longer.”

  “You don’t think I’m being an idiot?”

  “Only in wanting to leave before daylight.” His tone was slightly exasperated amusement.

  “I didn’t. Not really. I just didn’t want you to think I’m using this—” She stopped because there was no way to say the rest without revealing more than she wanted to.

  “Using what?”
<
br />   He sounded as if he didn’t have a clue what she was talking about. Maybe he didn’t. Maybe the thought had never crossed his mind. Not until she’d put it there.

  “It doesn’t matter,” she said. “I’m just…Look, I’m not usually this way. Anybody who knows me can tell you that. I’m normally very rational and calm and the last person on earth to get rattled. The last few days—”

  “Someone put a snake in your laundry hamper and locked you in a burning building. Why would it be irrational to be rattled after that? I think that’s a pretty rational response.”

  “To hate the thought of opening my front door? And to hate myself for giving in to that fear?”

  “In all honesty, I would think you were irrational if you weren’t afraid.”

  “I’d be just as safe at my parents’ house as at yours.”

  “They’re what? In their sixties? I assumed you didn’t want to put them in any danger.”

  That was why she hadn’t called her dad the night she’d found the rattler. When being used to remind her of that, Jace’s tone didn’t sound quite so condescending.

  “Go back to bed,” he advised. “If you’re uncomfortable staying here, we’ll work something else out in the morning.”

  “Like what?”

  “We go to the sheriff with the evidence of the two attacks and ask him to provide round-the-clock protection.”

  “Would he do that?”

  “He should. Is that what you want?”

  Not unless you’re the one assigned to protect me.

  And if she were honest, she’d admit that had less to do with the fact that she knew a lot of the county deputies and wasn’t impressed with their abilities and more to do with her growing feelings for the man who’d saved her life.

  “Lindsey?” Jace prodded. “Would you be more comfortable doing that?”

  “Is that what you think I should do?”

  “I think you should do whatever makes you feel safe. If you’re worried that people will talk because you’re here—”

  “I’m a grown woman. What I do isn’t anyone else’s business.”

  He was kind enough not to point out that was a direct contradiction of what she’d told him after the fire.

  “Then why don’t you tell me what’s wrong with this arrangement? Wrong enough that you’re going home in the middle of the night to a house you admit you’re afraid to walk into.”

  She couldn’t think of a plausible lie. For someone who had prided herself on always staying one step ahead of a bunch of very bright kids, she’d allowed herself to be trapped by her own words. The only thing left was the truth. Or part of it.

  “I was afraid you’d think I had another reason for coming here.”

  “Other than to bribe me with food?”

  “You know what I’m talking about. To the people in this town, I’m what’s generally known as an old maid. And all us old maids are supposed to be desperate to trap some eligible man.”

  Her eyes had adjusted to the low light from the hall enough to watch as one corner of his mouth tilted upward before it was controlled. He was laughing at her.

  And he should be. Everything that had come out of her mouth since he’d opened this door was an absurdity.

  “You’re saying I’m what passes for eligible around here?”

  “Eminently.”

  “Thank you. I think.”

  “You’re welcome. That said, please believe that I’m not here because I’m trying to make a play for you. No matter how desperate you—or anyone else—thinks I am.”

  “I believe you.”

  “Thank you.”

  The conversation had now slipped from the absurd to the surreal, and she didn’t know how to get it back to anything approaching normal. After this, she doubted normal would ever be possible between them again.

  “Is that it?” Jace asked.

  “I’m sorry?”

  “Is everything straightened out? You aren’t leaving?”

  Was she? Not unless she had to, she realized.

  “I’d really appreciate it if I could stay the rest of tonight. After that…”

  After that, she supposed someone like Rick Carlisle would set up shop in her driveway or her kitchen. Which was almost as unappealing as staying home alone.

  “So…you want some coffee?” Jace asked.

  Since she didn’t want to crawl back into his bed, the offer felt like a reprieve. A way to keep what little dignity she might have left. “I’d like that. Thank you.”

  “It’s the least I can do since you fed me dinner.”

  “That was a bribe, remember.”

  “Then feel free to consider the coffee a bribe.”

  “For what?” She was grateful he had lightened the mood.

  “To get you to stay.”

  “Look, I’m not really an idiot. I knew it was dangerous to go out before daybreak. I just felt as if I were intruding. As if I’d wedged myself into your life the last few days. ‘Here I am. Take care of me, please. Whether you want to or not.’”

  “Did you mean what you said?”

  “About…?”

  “Me being eligible.”

  “You know you are.” Her laugh seemed strained, but at least she had managed one.

  “I didn’t. However, if you say so—”

  Before she realized his intent, Jace stepped forward and pulled her into his arms. One second they were facing each other, a couple of yards between them. The next she was being pressed against his chest.

  Her eyes lifted to his face. Her lips parted, the attempt to protest what was happening automatic. Unthinking.

  And then she knew she didn’t want to protest. She wanted to be exactly where she was right now. She had wanted to be here for at least a week.

  “Uncomfortable?”

  Wordlessly she shook her head. Her lips were still parted, now in anticipation of his kiss. As the thought formed, she began to doubt her instinct. But surely this was a prelude to that. Or to something more?

  They were both adults—unmarried and, as far as she knew, unattached—alone in a bedroom with a bed conveniently near.

  “Good,” Jace whispered as his mouth lowered to meet hers.

  Instead of the kiss she’d anticipated, the tip of his tongue trailed over her bottom lip and then slowly, teasingly, along the top. As it did, he shifted the hand that had rested at the small of her back, using it to press her hips into a more intimate contact with his.

  Automatically she strained upward, trying to accommodate his height. With that encouragement, he moved his other hand to join the first. Cupping her bottom with his palms, he lifted her into the strength of his erection. Her lips opened again on a gasp, the sound quickly smothered by his mouth.

  The kiss left no doubt about his expertise. It was everything she’d wanted. Everything she’d dreamed about. Sensual. Seductive. Inviting. And not nearly enough.

  No matter what Jace thought about her motives in coming to his apartment tonight—no matter what he thought about her—right now she wanted nothing more than for him to make love to her. To destroy the memory of everything bad that had happened by reducing her to a state of mindlessness.

  He broke the kiss, leaning back to study her face. Shadowed by the light behind him, she couldn’t see his eyes well enough to read the emotion that was there.

  “It’s not too late,” he said.

  It felt like a withdrawal, as much as did the distance he’d deliberately put between them. “Too late for what?”

  “If you don’t want to take this where it’s obviously headed, all you have to do is say so. But if you don’t do that soon…”

  She should be grateful for that consideration, she supposed. Never in her life had she been more emotionally vulnerable. And no one understood that better than Jace.

  Despite the clear, physical evidence of how much he wanted her, if she stepped away, he would let her go.

  Instead of doing that, she reached up, putting her hands on
either side of his face. The feel of the late-night whiskers under her palms was as sensual as the teasing caress of his tongue had been. She stood on tiptoe, her mouth seeking his.

  When his lips again descended to cover hers, she was the aggressor. Standing taller, she tried to align her body with his, her breasts flattened against the wall of his chest, her hips straining to become one with his.

  Without breaking the contact of their tongues, Jace lifted her, so that her feet came off the floor. Shifting her hold around his neck, she raised her body to wind her legs around his hips. Again she could feel the strength and heat of his arousal against the center of her need.

  Her head fell back in response, allowing him access to her neck and throat. His mouth teased first along the sensitive skin beneath her ear. Then he suckled its lobe, before his tongue delved inside, sending waves of heat through her body.

  He began to cross the room with her legs still wrapped around him. She had thought he’d lay her down on the bed. Instead he sat down on its foot, his mouth still caressing, teasing, driving her toward the mindlessness she’d sought.

  His hands found the bottom of her tee and pulled it upward. Releasing her hold around his neck, she lifted her arms over her head to allow him to pull it off.

  As soon as he had, he tossed it on the floor. Then his lips found the cleft between her breasts, the softness of his hair brushing against her throat. A multitude of sensations—all of them sensuous—threatened overload.

  His palms enclosed the outside of her breasts, pressing them inward toward the seductive pleasure of his mouth. His tongue circled her nipple, which tautened under its touch.

  Jace then switched his attention to the other breast. The sensation of cool air against the moisture-rimmed areola he’d deserted added one more torment to those his teeth had begun to inflict on his new target.

  Passion ran hot and thick through her veins. Her fingers tightened over his shoulder, nails digging into the fabric of his shirt. In the maelstrom of need he’d awakened, she realized Jace was still dressed and that she didn’t want him to be.

  She wanted the hair-roughened skin of his chest against her breasts. They ached for more than the caress of his mouth, as enticing as that was. She wanted contact with every inch of him. Mouth to mouth. Skin to skin. Her body enclosing the driving power of his need.

 

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