by Jamie Lake
“Okay,” he said, turning around suddenly.
“Okay, what?” I asked.
“Tell me what you want to know,” he said, folding his arms.
CHAPTER SIX
I was so surprised he agreed, my mind was reeling. I didn’t know where to start. What do you say to someone who you’ve been wanting to know everything about, who kept themselves closed up completely, and who finally tells you they’ll tell you everything?
At first, I had to process the fact that he had actually agreed to let me in on his secrets. I’d been so used to him being mysterious and aloof that I’d figured he would never give that up. The fact that he had only served to deepen my affection for him and make me more attracted to him. I looked down and opened my mouth, but I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t think of anything to ask. I looked up at him and smiled as he looked at me, patiently waiting for a question. I picked up a small stone and pursed my lips as I twisted it between my fingers. The rough, coarse texture scratched my skin.
“I guess I just want to know why there is so much animosity between the two of you,” I said. “Why do you hate each other so much?”
“I don’t hate him, I just … I’m just disappointed.” he grumbled, looking away with disdain.
“But why?” I asked.
“Let’s talk about something else,” he said.
“No, you told me you’d tell me everything,” I insisted. I could tell it was difficult for him to open up, but I wasn’t about to let him brush it away when I asked him a question he didn’t want to answer.
He sighed, a deep resonating sigh, the type of sigh a man makes when he has an elephant of troubles on his shoulders.
“It was so long ago, I almost want to forget it, to be honest.”
“But you can’t.” I told him. “It’s part of you. You carry it with you every day and it’s affecting you. It’s affecting us.”
He looked at me, a strong man broken. Though he tried not to show it, I knew I was getting through to him. What I had said made sense to him.
“You’re so very young,” he said with a smirk.
“What’s your point?” I challenged, feeling like he was patronizing me. I hated it when they spoke to me like that, and I clutched the stone tightly in my fist, feeling its sharp edges digging into my skin.
“But so very wise. Sometimes it’s almost as if—” He stopped himself again.
“See, there you go again,” I said, frustrated. “Tell me, dammit.” I was so incensed that I hurled the stone down onto the rock. It sparked as it hit the rock and then skittered away.
“You just … remind me of someone very dear to me, that’s all.”
“Who? What? Tell me. Stop holding things back from me. I want to know everything. Everything, dammit.”
“My brother and I weren’t always enemies. Quite the opposite, actually,” he began to tell me in a clear and steady voice. “We were best friends.”
*******
In my mind’s eye as he described what life was like for them, I could almost see it before me. It was the same woods but they felt younger, fresher, newer, healthier. They felt loved. They were not shrouded in danger, hatred or mystery. It was a time of innocence. A time of family. A time when the only thing they had to worry about was having fun. In my imagination, everything felt more colorful, more vibrant.
Before me, I could see a much younger Buck and Japheth. They were teenagers, about 16. Just as well built, but with younger faces. Their bodies were leaner but they were just as ripped. They were fighting, wrestling and their bodies moved with agility and skill, as if they’d been born warriors and fighters. The energy between them was not that of rivalry but of challenge, both equal in strength. Unlike the other times I’d seen them fight, this one was devoid of bitterness and hatred. They were testing each other’s skill, helping each other to improve rather than trying to overcome the other. It was a nice thought, to see them share jokes and friendly teasing rather than the jealous bickering I’d been witness to. Their lithe bodies were slick with sweat and they were perfect, sculpted like the gods of old. Dark hair covered their rippling, toned muscles and I wanted to run my fingers through it.
“Very good, very good,” their father said, clapping. He was a grand man with a rather large face and beard. He was almost old enough to be their grandfather, with salt and pepper hair, his eyes wise and etched in wrinkles that couldn’t hide his years of battles. Buck described him to me in such detail that I felt as though I was there. I could see the sadness in his eyes, a lifetime lost. But when he spoke of those times, his eyes lit up for a moment. I could tell his father would have been an imposing man, possibly even larger than Buck and Japheth, with a harsh manner that was only tempered by the love for his sons. I imagined him intently watching them, analyzing their every move before he gave them his report at the conclusion of the bout, his tips and criticisms always balanced with praise.
“Thank you, Father,” Buck said with a smile.
Japheth merely nodded at him. He could barely look at his father, as if something was on his mind, something disturbing that he was hiding. They were both respectful to each other, and their father was the undisputed Alpha wolf. That was one of the lessons he always tried to instill in them, that the pack had to be united behind a single leader if it was going to function optimally. The other wolves gave them their space, and left the clearing free whenever Buck and Japheth needed to train. Both of them breathed deeply but neither of them wanted to show any weakness so they restrained themselves as the warm sun kissed their aching muscles.
“Why don’t you go fetch us something to eat, Buck?” his father suggested.
“Yes, Father,” Buck said. “Come on, Japheth.”
“No,” his father said, holding up his hand. “Go ahead. Your brother will catch up to you later. He and I are going to have a little chat.”
Buck nodded, knowing better than to argue with his father. He took off into the forest, hoping his father had only kind words. Buck didn’t mind going alone. He liked hunting on his own. It made him feel alive, to tread the dangerous line of knowing that if he made a mistake, there would be no-one else there to save him. Meanwhile, back in the clearing Japheth was stretching as his father approached him.
“What’s on your mind, son?” he asked Japheth.
“Nothing, Father,” Japheth said.
“Come on now, son. I know when something is troubling one of my own blood,” his father said, resting his arm around him, interrupting his stretches.
Japheth’s body became more rigid, as if he wanted to shake his father’s arm off of him but didn’t dare do so. He looked at the part of the woods where Buck had disappeared to and then at his father. He bowed his head and gulped, speaking in a respectful tone.
“I don’t like the way you’ve been treating Mother,” he said.
“Oh?” his father said.
“Yes. You treat her as if she is a second-class citizen. She is the queen of this village,” he said.
As they had grown up, the two males had come to understand some of the complexities of relationships. When they had been younger everything had seemed perfect, and their parents were simply their parents. Whatever happened between them was simply the natural order of things. But as they had matured, some things hadn’t sat well with them. Japheth had always been especially close with his mother, and it was he who was more sensitive to the way his father was treating her. Nevertheless, it was difficult to speak about it because his father was a cruel, stubborn man.
“Son, you – you have a right to your opinion, and I respect it. But there are things you have no knowledge of, things you may never know, that are between me and your mother,” his father said.
“That doesn’t give you the right to be so cruel to her. What could she have done so wrong that she deserves to be treated like that?” Japheth asked. His eyes flashed for a moment as he lost his composure.
His father took a deep breath and lowered his tone. He placed an arm on
Japheth’s shoulder and gripped it tightly, to show Japheth that he was in control. “Son, I told you. You have the right to speak your mind but weigh your words carefully. I am still your father and I am still the alpha. Have respect.”
“Respect is earned, not given,” Japheth spat.
A look of anger burned in his father’s eyes. It was rare that anyone challenged his authority, least of all his sons. All his life he had raised them to be obedient and respectful, but Japheth was straying from that mantra.
“Isn’t that what you taught us, Father?” Japheth challenged.
“Are you saying that I have not earned your respect?” he asked.
“I am saying that you have lost my respect,” Japheth said, standing up straight and tilting his head back to make himself look intimidating.
A schism between the two was forming, but little did they know how deeply rooted it would become. Japheth wasn’t looking at him as an omnipotent patriarch anymore. He saw him as vulnerable, as a rival, as someone who would eventually be overthrown.
“What do you know?” his father said, his eyes narrowing. “What are you not telling me?”
“As you said, Father, there are things that you do not know, things you may never know,” Japheth said with a wicked smirk on his face.
He left his father with that look as if to haunt him, pulling away from him and walking back into camp. It was a momentous day and the implications rippled through the rest of their lives.
Buck didn’t know of their conversation until much later, but he sensed there was something wrong when he saw Japheth later that day. He just wasn’t himself. Back in those days, Japheth and Buck told each other everything. They did everything together, hunted together, gathered together, trained together, talked about who they wanted to bone in the tribe. Their father knew they were different in that they had no interest in women beyond pro-creating, like most of the members of the other tribe. But Buck got the sense from his father that he hoped at least one of them would be different.
“A tribe of men who prefer men is not an easy path to follow,” his father would often warn. “But you must follow your heart and listen to the voice inside your own head.”
They were brothers in every sense of the word and could tell when something was wrong with the other. Buck had been aware that something had been troubling Japheth, but he had not pressed the issue. Japheth usually revealed his frustrations in time, especially when they concerned his father. Yet Japheth had not been forthcoming, so Buck felt obligated to investigate himself.
“What’s wrong with you today?” Buck asked him.
“Why?” Japheth asked defensively.
“You’ve been acting funny all week long,” Buck said.
“That’s your opinion,” Japheth said.
There was something cruel and dismissive about his tone. On occasion, these moods overtook Japheth, and Buck had noticed that they were becoming more frequent. Still, he cared for his brother and wanted to help. He wasn’t going to be dissuaded by Japheth’s blunt mood.
“What did Father have to talk to you about?” Buck asked. “You know you can tell me anything.”
Japheth sighed. “Our father is a hypocrite.”
“Weigh your words, Japeth—” Buck started to say, knowing how deadly and dangerous it was to question the integrity of the alpha. Done recklessly, it wasn’t just the one man you were challenging but the whole pack.
Japheth turned to his brother and spoke freely, unburdening himself. “No, I will not weigh my words when I speak the truth. You know this is true. He pretends to be all high and mighty. He talks of being peaceable, being kind and generous, treating others with the respect we wish to have, and yet he is so cruel to our mother.”
“He is not that cruel. There are times when perhaps he is irritable, but we all become irritable at times,” Buck explained.
“Don’t make excuses for him,” Japheth spat. “He is not a good man, Buck. And you know this.”
“I know nothing of the sort,” Buck said, narrowing his eyes at him. “Our father protects us, defends us. Our father tells us the stories of our ancestors. Our father and his father before him and him before him were the founding fathers of our people—”
“Lies, and you know it. That’s what he tells us and you foolishly believe him just like the rest of the tribe.” Japheth shook his head and looked at Buck as if he were a fool.
It was quiet and no one else was around, but Buck was afraid word would get back to their father. He didn’t like anyone speaking about his father like this, let alone Japheth. Buck was proud of his lineage and his legacy, and he didn’t want anything to tarnish or taint it.
“What are you saying?” Buck asked.
“There are things … mother has told me things she wished not to be repeated. Just trust me – there is more to the story of how our people came to be than he is letting on. There is more to us than they’re both telling us. I know it; I can feel it.”
“Then tell me,” Buck insisted. “Tell me everything.”
“Just be careful with him,” Japheth said. “He’s not what he appears to be.”
And with that Japheth left Buck alone to think. Buck spent some time examining his life and all the stories he had been told wondering how much had been lies.
********
“What did he mean by that?” I asked Buck as he looked into the water as if deep in thought. Unknowingly, I had placed my arm on his back while he had been telling the story, and I stroked it gently. He looked troubled, and my heart went out to him.
He sighed, coming back to reality. “That’s for another time. We ought to head back now before they start looking for us.”
“Why would they be looking for us?” I asked.
There seemed to be a heaviness in his words. So far, I had been given a lot of freedom and even though I hadn’t been allowed to leave completely, I had at least been able to wander about wherever I wished. I didn’t want tabs being kept on me, and part of me wondered whether they realized that Buck and I had enjoyed each other in the hut. The last thing I needed was for Japheth to get angry with me again. But the next words out of his mouth chilled me to my core.
“Because, dear Nathan, we’re about to go to war. We’re about to go to war.”
I shivered all over and an unsettling nausea swept through me. My hand fell limply from his back. I didn’t know what to make of it. I looked up at the sky, for it felt so peaceful, yet I knew it was only finite. The silvery moon would soon be red with blood, and although I didn’t know exactly what was to happen, I knew that nothing would be the same again.
Suddenly, there were bigger things to worry about than whether I would choose Japheth or Buck.
THE END TO BE CONTINUED
Marked for Love Book 8
CHAPTER 1
“War is coming.”
I looked up at Buck, the approaching clouds framing his shoulder-length dark hair. Stars blinked into existence beyond the approaching twilight. Millions of worlds existed up there. Somewhere among them were a few normal ones. But I wouldn’t find my old life on any of them. That was gone, like the flickering embers of a dying sun.
The wolves trotted around the camp in small packs, jostling each other for position. A drizzling rain fell on their backs and steam rose from their bodies, their well-trained muscles rippling under the surface.
Buck’s soft green eyes locked with mine and I found something new in them: fear.
The anxiety gripped them all. I didn’t need their enhanced senses to know that. In this forest haven of well-worn dirt paths, warm hearths and musky love, that was out of place. For these men to be afraid? My stomach lurched and bile crept into my mouth.
I wanted to go back to my normal life but, how could I? Not after I’d seen what lay beyond the veil of the world. Not with everything Buck, Japheth and the others wolves had sacrificed for my safety.
Soon my beloved Buck and strong Japheth would be soldiers again. Soon blood would soak into th
is fertile soil once more. Why? To protect the pack? No, to protect me.
My face grew hot with shame at the idea. But another part of me warmed to the idea of these strong beasts fighting, tearing and bleeding — over me.
Buck’s face softened with a vulnerability he’d not permitted me to see before. I reached up and rubbed his neck but all I could think about was his older brother Japheth. He was out there somewhere and I loved him, too.
But I couldn’t let my conflicted feelings get in the way now, not when there were other, more important things to think about.
I had no special powers. I was just a man. But I had to be here for both of them, and help the pack, too.
“You have to leave, Nathan.” Buck’s eyes turned steely, his voice commanding again. Damn, he was sexy, even if it was the last thing I wanted to hear.
“I have to stay here with you. I can help.”
“I won’t put you in danger. If anything happened, I—” Buck’s eyes found mine and they refused to let go, his lower eyelids twitching, his mouth turning down into a warrior’s frown.
I shook my head, a lighting certainty coursing through my veins. “I killed the princess. I did this.”
She’d come out of the thickest part of the rainforest in the middle of a downpour. One moment, Japheth and Buck argued over me, their muscles flowing under smooth flesh, their faces flush with passion. The next, the puma woman was on me, her long white incisors closing around my neck.
The two brothers saved me. Without them, I was dead.
Buck brushed the back of his hand against my cheek. “That’s not important. What matters now is that the pumas will not stop until everyone in this camp — wolf or human — is dead. Gather your things. It will take all our strength to drive them off and I can’t do it unless I know you’re safe. You can’t be here when the war starts.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Buck. I’m going to fight. And that’s that.” I put my hands on my hips and pursed my lips. It wouldn’t do any good. Buck’s head was as hard as the rest of him. I usually loved that about him but time was too short now to waste it on words.