The guy reaches inside his jacket, so I pop one to his heart and he drops.
I remove his mirrorshades expecting to see more maggots, but the eyes on this one are just dark gaps. I poke at one with the muzzle of my Glock. Suddenly a soft white shape lunges out of the socket. I instinctively pull the trigger, blowing it to bits. Some of the greasy membrane of the thing lands on the back of my hand and it burns like hell, even after I shake the remnants off.
I’m studying the smoking spot on the back of my hand when two more of the worm-like things emerge from the eye sockets. I blow away one before it can wriggle away, but the other flops out and starts inching across the cement floor. I aim carefully and blast the slug with one of my own.
After waiting to be sure no more of these things are coming out of the guy’s skull, I lift Banning’s envelope from his inside pocket, then walk over to study the remains of the creature that got partway across the floor. It looks just like the small maggots that inhabited the last agent, but orders of magnitude larger, as wide around as my thumb and twice as long.
I don’t know exactly how big a maggot can get, but I’m pretty sure it should have turned into a fly long before this.
One thought is foremost in my mind: exterminator. I could have been an exterminator. At least then when I killed disgusting creatures, I would know what the hell they were.
I tear open the envelope the guy got from Banning. Inside is a slip of paper with my home address.
***
I try to call Trina to warn her out of the house, but get no answer on the home phone or her cell.
I race back to my car and head home as fast as possible, usually not fast at all in Beltway traffic, but today nothing short of grandmothers in wheelchairs will slow me down.
I call Penny on the way and tell her to meet at my place. As we both drive, she tells me the first FBI agent had been following his normal routine recently, both at home and at work. (How she can track what FBI agents do at work I don’t ask.) The only suspicious thing is no one has seen his wife for days.
Penny and I arrive at the same moment. We charge through the front door, Penny with her pistol drawn and me with the first mirrorshade’s MP 5.
Trina is fine, just back from shopping. I post Penny outside the front door and tell Trina to pack fast and light. I throw some clothes on the bed, then set the MP-5 down while I bend over to stuff them into a duffel.
Trina notices the submachine gun and says, “I thought you were loyal to your Glock, hon?”
“Well, sometimes you just have to upgrade.”
“My thought exactly,” she says. I hear a swishing noise, then nothing.
***
I wake up with a throbbing headache, gagged and bound with plastic manacles at wrists and ankles. The gag is only a handkerchief, not taped over, so it doesn’t take much effort to spit it out. Maybe my captors are letting me know they prefer silence, or maybe they’re just idiots.
I turn over to see I’m in the back of a large limousine, Penny slumped next to me, also bound. Facing me are Trina, Congressman Banning, and an eyeless man in a navy suit, with a huge maggot perched halfway out an eye socket.
One of these things catches my attention as fascinating and surprising, but not the one you think. I’ve never seen a giant maggot-creature before today, so as far as I know this is a typical example of the species, although I grant you it is noteworthy that the species exists. I have seen Penny about ten thousand times, however, so it comes as a tremendous shock to see her for the ten-thousand-and-first time and suddenly realize she is a stunningly beautiful woman. She has a slender face with high cheekbones, the kind of figure you usually need a surgeon to get, and long hair a shade of auburn so deep it should be brown but isn’t. I glance at Trina’s hair and can’t believe until today I thought I liked blondes. I suppose I always knew Penny was pretty, but in the same irrelevant way I know Halle Berry is pretty.
Looking up at Trina, I say to Banning, “So, Congressman, I gather you were having an affair after all.”
Trina answers. “No, Buster, we weren’t having an affair. And we won’t need to. Congressman Banning is getting a divorce. And so are you.”
“That’s swell. Will maggot-face here be your best man?”
The creature withdraws into its eye socket, then the body’s mouth answers. “You may call me Alpha,” it says. “The Congressman’s personal affairs are of no interest to us.”
“And who is ‘us?’”
He doesn’t respond, so I look out the car window. As we turn onto Constitution Avenue, the Capitol Building looms ahead. The sight of the Capitol has always inspired me, no matter which set of dimwits is running the place at the time. I have a sinking feeling that is about to change. I should have become a civics teacher when I had the chance.
***
Alpha puts his glasses back on as we exit the car. At a side entrance to the Capitol, two more mirrorshades join us.
Two elevator rides down and a short walk bring us into a long, dimly lit chamber with elaborate scaffolding suspended from the ceiling and an odd rubbery tarp covering the floor. Between them, the chamber is mostly filled by a huge, slimy shape. There is an undulating, rippling motion down its flanks, coordinated like the legs of a centipede, but the thing is not moving. Another maggot-creature, the size of a subway car.
I ask the obvious question: “So, is it a Democrat or a Republican?”
Alpha responds, “You are free to engage in your silly banter, Mr. Clover, but do not show disrespect to Mother.”
“So why are you letting us see ‘Mother?’”
“Mother hungers.”
Penny and I don’t react, but Trina blanches. She turns to Banning. “My God, Glenn, you’re not going to…”
“Mother calls the shots.” Banning smiles. “Besides, it’s a tidy arrangement. She needs to eat, and we sometimes need to dispose of troublesome people. People who don’t cooperate,” he says, glancing at me. Turning back to Trina he says, “And people who know too much.”
He nods to the two new mirrorshades, who stride forward and grab Trina by the arms. Trina is the only one surprised by this. Banning could never leave his wife for someone as good-looking as Trina. Voters hate that.
“How can you do this to me?” whispers Trina.
Alpha answers, “We do it to a great many people. Mother must eat.”
“My God!” shouts Penny. “The entire government is run by foul creatures, growing fat gradually devouring the rest of us!”
“What did you think?” I answer. I’m finding it rather refreshing to have unmasked the grotesque beast at the heart of Congress. I think it was H.L. Mencken who said, “Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.”
I ask Alpha, “Is this the part where you replace our brains with little maggots?”
“No, Mother is no longer calving. She is nearly ready to cocoon. I believe you three may have the great honor of being her final meal before she completes her development.”
“Development? There’s another stage?”
He doesn’t answer, which is just as well. If a maggot turns into a fly, I don’t want to know what this monstrosity might metamorphose into.
The same thought has evidently occurred to Banning. “Now wait a minute!” he exclaims. He is quickly seized by the same two henchmen he had grab Trina a moment earlier, and now there are four of us in handcuffs.
“I suppose it was foolish of me to say that in front of you, Congressman Banning,” says Alpha.
“Yes, you maggot-heads don’t seem all that sharp,” I say, looking pointedly at the doughy form of their “Mother.” “It doesn’t seem possible you could control the whole government and keep it quiet.”
“Mother does not control the whole government, merely the legislature.”
“So would I find another one of these under the White House? The Supreme Court? How about in other countries’ capitals?”
“We do not believe so, but we do not know.”
“Don’t know?” I repeat incredulously.
“How would we?”
Banning says, “I thought you all could communicate telepathically.”
“Mother can speak to her children, that is all. You ask how we stay in control without being revealed, Mr. Clover. The answer is simple: we give people what they want. People like Representative Banning have simple desires. They wish money and power over other humans. That is easily arranged, and while we provide it, they have no incentive to disclose our secrets.”
“Okay,” I answer, “but the problem comes when you misperceive what someone really wants. That’s the mistake you made when you had Banning here offer me a pay-off.”
“That offer was never intended for you,” he inclines his head toward Trina. “Perhaps you are not so ‘sharp’ yourself, Mr. Clover.” The gnawing feeling in my belly seems to agree.
“So you keep your existence a secret just by giving people what they want?”
“It is hardly a unique approach to holding power. The behavior of those in the executive branch here and among leaders of other nations is similarly self-interested. We do not know if this reflects human nature, or if they are under the direction of competitors of Mother.”
“Competitors?”
“Of course. We believe in competition. For instance, you have observed that some occupied humans contain very many small individuals, while others house only a few large ones. In this body there is but a single child of Mother.”
“You… eat each other?” I ask.
“We compete. The winner is strengthened. It is a very successful algorithm. If Mother has counterparts elsewhere, in time she will compete with them.”
“But where did you come from?”
“Mr. Clover, I see you wish to know all about Mother’s history and methods, but you forget yourself. I need nothing from you, thus I have no reason to fulfill your desires. Particularly when Mother has desires to satisfy.”
The other two mirrorshades take Trina by the arms and steer her to one end of the creature, apparently the front. They turn her away from it.
The front of the thing swivels toward her. It tapers to a mouth that seems far too small for this monstrosity. The mouth darts forward and attaches itself to the base of Trina’s skull.
She screams only for an instant, then her face takes on a stunned look. The undulations along the creature’s sides accelerate, to the awful sound of suction. Moments later, her body falls to the floor, horribly withered.
The two mirrorshades turn and walk directly toward me, but then hesitate.
“Mother is sated for the moment,” Alpha announces. “It seems we must suffer you to live for another hour or two. Mother prefers her meat fresh.”
He casually slings Trina’s body over his shoulder and strolls away, leaving the other two mirrorshades guarding us. Watching him go, my only thought is: waiter. If I can still remember the pattern on that awful orange tie, I should be able to remember what wine the chubby couple at table six ordered.
***
“Buster?”
“Yes, Penny?” Her head rests lightly on my shoulder. Behind her, Banning is leaning against the wall, watching his life or his Swiss accounts flash before his eyes.
“Now that we’re about to be eaten by a giant slug-creature, will you tell me something I always wanted to know?”
“Sure.” I am ready to tell her anything she wants to hear.
“What’s your real name?”
Except that. “What difference could it make now?”
“Are you going to deny me my dying wish?”
“It’s no big secret. I don’t much care for it, is all.”
“No secret? Did you have it legally changed, by chance, and the original name expunged from every official record?”
“Well, now that you mention it…”
“Even your mom wouldn’t spill it.”
“You spoke to my mom?”
“Yes, and did she tell me some stories about you.”
“Well, you can’t believe what Mom says.”
“Oh?”
“Mom is a big believer in making shit up. She regards it as an admirable talent. You know, she was very disappointed that I never wanted to become a writer.”
“A writer, as in a novelist?”
“Right.”
“Ha! She must never have seen you play poker.”
“What does poker have to do with it?” I ask.
“Writing fiction is like playing poker. You have to be able to lie with conviction.”
I’ve been twisting my wedding band around my ring finger. Now I take it off and stare at it. When I finally answer, my voice sounds husky in my own ears. “You know, maybe I could have been a decent writer at that.”
***
I’m startled to feel water falling. The scaffolding above Mother houses a sprinkler system. The huge beast wobbles back and forth, apparently enjoying the shower. We’re close enough, I can feel droplets spatter off her slimy skin.
After a few minutes, the rippling motion down its flanks slows considerably. I point it out to Penny.
“You think maybe it’s asleep?” she asks.
I do. What’s more, it strikes me the two mirrorshades have become listless, perhaps numbed by Mother’s unconsciousness.
Now is the time to make my move. Trouble is, the best move I’ve come up with is to waddle over to one of the two maggot-heads and hope he’s in a mood to let me take a two-handed swing at him without shooting me first. I’d say my odds are about none in a million, but I’m going to do it anyway, failing some better idea. It beats standing there quietly as that megaworm sucks my brains out.
“Clarence,” I say.
“What?”
“Clarence. My name.”
“Clarence? Clarence Clover?” She tries and fails to stifle a giggle.
“You have less cause to laugh than most people, Penelope.”
“Sorry. Buster.”
“It’s okay. You can call me Clarence if you want, just not in front of people.”
“In front of giant slugs?”
“Sure, Sluggo and I go way back.” I pat the side of the beast affectionately. Pain shoots up my arm, suddenly reminding me of the burning sensation on the back of my hand when I shot a smaller one. Angry red blisters form on my palm.
I guess that explains the tarp underneath us. The rubber tarp. I look at our plastic manacles.
Could it be? They would have to be idiots to leave us with such an obvious means of getting out of our restraints. Then again, this is the government.
But there is no way to press the cuffs against the thing without also pressing my hands and wrists against it. I lean into Penny. “Pull out your blouse,” I whisper.
“What?”
“I need you to pull your blouse out, and unbutton the bottom couple buttons.”
“You realize there have been better opportunities.”
“Just do it.”
You know how, in the movies, the hero can easily tear a strip out of any garment? That only works if the fabric is worn and threadbare. Luckily, I don’t pay Penny very much.
I gradually manage to jam the strip of fabric under my cuffs, giving my skin some small protection. Then I press the cuffs against the slimy exterior of the thing, while Penny and Banning try to shield me from view of the two mirrorshades. The guards seem not to notice the foul odor of melting plastic.
It burns like hell, but finally the plastic melts away enough for me to snap the manacles apart. With my hands free, it becomes a lot easier to tear the pieces of fabric and wrap our limbs in them. In a few minutes, Penny, Banning, and I have all our hands and feet free, the mirrorshades still oblivious and lethargic.
Even so, we remain unarmed, facing two men with machine guns. I have Penny and Banning slide over toward the far mirrorshade and lie down. I gradually ease my way closer to the other one. When I get within just a few feet, I take off my shoes and toss them in an arc over the guard�
�s head. They land with a clatter on his far side and he turns that way reflexively, directly away from me. Damn, these guys are dumb.
I give him a hard chop to the neck, but from experience I don’t expect him to drop easily. When he turns back, I close my hands over his gun and kick one of his legs out to overbalance him, shoving him backward into his Mother. I hold him there, hoping Mother’s acidity will do its work on this body quickly. Despite the nauseating smell of burnt flesh, however, the guy shows no sign of giving up the struggle. Then small maggots start sliding down his face in single file, working their way toward my arms.
The other mirrorshade has finally awoken to his comrade’s plight. I see him raise his weapon in my peripheral vision, so I pull my guy away from Mother, positioning him between me and the other. The row of maggots creeps ever closer to my hands.
The other fellow starts to step around Penny, but not far enough around. As he passes, she trips him and jumps on him, but he manages a volley of shots. He’s in no position to hit anything, but the noise must be audible outside.
Since the goal of silence is already lost, I wrench my guy’s gun away and plug him in the belly, happy to be loose of him before the maggots could reach me. I walk over and take the other one out point blank. Penny claims his weapon.
Mother’s accelerating undulations signal that she has woken. She begins to roll her massive body sideways, obviously intent on smashing all of us against the wall of the chamber.
We sprint toward her tail. Penny and Banning clear the length of her in time, but Mother twists her tail to cut me off. The good news is her body tapers at the end. It’s low enough to the ground that I’m able to leap on top of it, then jump over. The bad news is I haven’t had a chance to retrieve my shoes. Even through my socks, a searing pain travels up my legs.
At the door, I pause to shoot a volley into Mother, to no effect.
We race out of the chamber, and Banning stops in front of the elevator doors. I persuade him that stairs would be better. The elevator will only bring more mirrorshades, and we have surely violated the edict against disrespecting Mother. Banning leads the way to a narrow metal stairwell. We start up.
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