Amy closed her laptop. She recalled her initial thrill at being singled out by Cressida, a thrill that had worn off after time to be replaced by a deep weariness, a weariness that had finally been replaced by a feeling of repugnance. Yes. Repugnance was not too strong a word to describe how Amy had come to feel about the relationship. She had never in her entire life experienced a relationship that had progressed from bliss to disgust in so short a time. Maybe if she was experienced in romance she would have recognized this dynamic—the initial thrill, the gradual awareness of small disappointments, followed by the hard-hitting realization that the relationship was all wrong and the desire to get away as quickly as possible. In a way, Amy thought, you could call her relationship with Cressida a whirlwind romance. Cressida had been the seducer, older and powerful, the one who had blinded the younger and less experienced person with visions of favor and promises of power, visions that were ultimately revealed as phantasms, promises that were revealed as empty.
Amy yawned and realized she was finally ready for sleep. With her beloved plush panda in tow she crawled into bed, her mind at peace. By this time tomorrow she would be free.
* * *
It was with some trepidation—would Cressida hit her as she had hit Will?—but with an unshaken resolve, that Amy set out the following morning to confront her so-called mentor. It had taken her months to see through the thin and brittle surface glamour of her employer. Cressida was an unstable, toxic person who had lured Amy into her unhappy household for some bizarre reason Amy couldn’t fathom. The pathological need to manipulate? A desire to dominate someone so obviously weaker than herself? Whatever the reason, the thought that she once had very much wanted to be a part of the Prior household filled her with shame.
Amy pulled into the driveway and got out of the car. She was wearing her favorite sundress. She took a deep breath, stood as tall as she could, and walked up to the front door. Cressida was not waiting for her there. Her hands fumbled with the key, but after a second try she managed to insert the key into the lock and open the door.
“Hello?” she called, but there was no reply. Neither was there any immediate sign of Will or the children. The house was so quiet that for a moment Amy wondered if anyone was there but herself. Maybe Cressida had gone out.
“Aimee! Is that you?”
Cressida was home. Amy went up to the office. Cressida’s head was bent over a paper file on the desk. Through her thinning hair, Amy could see white scalp. Cressida’s shoulders looked bonier and frailer than ever. Strangely Amy felt a sense of pity for the formidable but troubled woman before her. Cressida was the weaker person in their relationship at that moment and Amy the one with the power, and though Amy was about to defy the woman who had hurt her, she had no desire to hurt her in return.
Cressida suddenly looked up. “You’re looking quite tidy today,” she noted. “In spite of the sundress.”
Amy refused to be cowed. “Thanks,” she said. “Are Will and the children at home?”
“No. I sent them away. Peace and quiet.”
“There’s something I need to discuss. I mean,” Amy went on, “there’s something I need to tell you.”
“Yes?” Cressida said sharply.
“I’ve decided not to accept your offer of a job in Atlanta,” Amy announced. “It was a very generous offer, but it’s not what I want for my life. Of course,” Amy went on hurriedly, “I’ll finish out the summer as per our verbal agreement.”
There followed a terrible silence. Cressida remained perfectly still. When the silence had gone on for longer than Amy felt she could bear, she desperately cast about her mind for something to say. Before she could find it, Cressida spoke. Rather, she shouted.
“What the hell are you saying?”
Amy flinched under Cressida’s assault but stood her ground. “I’m saying that I’m not going to Atlanta with you.”
“Why not?” Cressida demanded.
Amy gulped. “Because I don’t want to,” she said.
“You’re crazy,” Cressida spat. “Only an idiot would turn down a possibility for success like the one I offered you.” Cressida rose to her feet, her face distorted in a snarl. “I’ll fire you immediately unless you change your mind.”
Sweat might have broken out under Amy’s arms and at the back of her neck, but she felt a deep calm come over her. She had done it. “I’m not changing my mind,” she said.
“After all I’ve done for you,” Cressida went on, leaning forward over the desk. “You’re an ungrateful little bitch! I can’t believe I thought you had it in you to be someone of consequence. As of this very minute you’re—”
Amy laughed. She couldn’t help it; the entire situation was just so ludicrous. “You can’t fire me,” she said. “I quit. I don’t want your money. It’s dirty, just like you’re dirty. Your house might be spotless, but your heart isn’t.”
Cressida fell back in her chair as if she had been shoved.
“My mother is worth a hundred of you,” Amy went on. “I should never have listened to you belittle her work. And the nasty things you said about my friend Noah. You called him a coward, and yet he’s one of the bravest, most noble people I know. And one more thing. My name is Amy, not Aimee.”
Amy turned and strode toward the door of the office. When she reached the threshold she was tempted to look back. She wondered what she would see. A hint of weariness on Cressida’s face? Cressida’s hand shaking as she reached for a bottle of the expensive vitamin water she was so fond of? But Amy continued into the hall, down the stairs, and out the front door. As she walked to her car she thought she detected a hint of autumn in the air, a time to let the old crumble away and the new to take its place. She slid behind the wheel of her car and another laugh escaped her.
Chapter 123
Earlier in the summer Amy had suggested that the house be cleared out of what she had referred to as junk. In one way, Leda had realized, Amy was right. There were boxes of old papers and who knew what else cluttering up the attic, and now was as good a time as any to clear away what was no longer needed or necessary.
On a day on which the temperature was only due to rise to the midseventies, Leda mounted an excursion to the attic. Still, she brought with her a standing fan, as until deep winter the attic was fairly stifling. A quick glance around the low-ceilinged room showed that Leda had her work cut out for her. Boxes and trunks and plastic storage bins were piled willy-nilly. It was all very daunting, but Leda was in the mood for a purge.
She started by opening a trunk in which she discovered some of the beautiful clothes her mother had made for her when she was a child. It seemed a shame to keep such lovely garments stored away. Leda wondered if she might incorporate some of the pieces into her quilt work. A photo of each item of clothing as it currently existed would preserve the original, and she could go from there. Satisfied, Leda dragged the trunk to the door of the attic. She would ask Vera to help her manage it down to the second floor.
Next Leda attacked a stack of box files. In the first she found a bundle of test papers from high school, several lined notebooks with yellowed paper dating back to her grammar school years, and one of her first sketchbooks. The sketchbook she would keep, but the school-related items Leda threw into the large plastic garbage bag she had brought with her.
Before she closed the file and moved on to the next in the stack, she realized there was a piece of folded paper partly stuck to the bottom of the box. Gently she pulled it free. Carefully she opened the page to find one of the poems Lance Stirling had written her that long-ago summer. Leda was stunned. She clearly remembered throwing out what she thought had been every scrap of paper that had come from Lance Stirling. Somehow this page must have survived.
The poem was pretty bad, the language florid, with lots of aching limbs and thumping hearts. With a genuine laugh, Leda tore the paper to shreds and tossed the pieces into the plastic garbage bag along with her childhood school things.
At noon, hot, swe
aty, and covered in dust, Leda decided to break for lunch. On the way down to the kitchen to wash up and grab something to eat, she was suddenly overcome by a powerful feeling of intense pride. But the pride had nothing to do with Leda. Rather, it was centered entirely around Amy. Amy had done something wonderful. Leda knew it as absolutely as she knew her own name. How else to interpret the euphoria that was now pulsating from her heart?
Leda shook her head and chuckled. No doubt she was just hungry. And thirsty. Dehydration could do funny things to people. It could make them imagine all sorts of silly things. Leda hurried on to the kitchen and the half pound of sliced turkey waiting in the fridge.
Chapter 124
Hayley was sitting with the girls in the park by the World War II memorial when Amy texted, asking where she was. Hayley assumed that Amy was on another errand for Cressida. How else would she have gotten out of the looney bin that was the Prior household?
Amy appeared ten minutes later. She was wearing one of her prettiest sundresses. Hayley hadn’t seen her wear a sundress since early summer. They really looked wonderful on her.
“What’s wrong, Hayley?” Amy asked, sitting next to her on the bench. “I’ve never seen you look so miserable, and that’s saying something.”
Hayley busied herself adjusting the girls’ sunhats. She hadn’t planned on telling Amy what had occurred between her and Ethan. Not yet, anyway. It was all so raw. “I’m fine,” she said with an attempt at a smile.
“Come on,” Amy pressed. “What’s going on? I’m worried.”
Hayley sighed. She would have to tell Amy at some point. It might as well be now. “What’s going on,” she said, “is that my whole stupid plan backfired.”
“What do you mean it backfired?” Amy asked.
“I mean that I fell in love with Ethan Whitby. But I can’t be with him, Amy,” Hayley went on hurriedly. “You were right. I was crazy thinking I could fit into Ethan’s world. The whole thing is a mess.”
Amy shook her head. “Wait, back up a minute. Did you tell him how you feel?”
“Yes,” Hayley admitted. “Things had been building all summer, but neither of us acknowledged it. Finally, we kissed. It was . . . It was incredible. He told me that he loved me and I told him that I loved him. And then I came to my senses. The next time we met, I told him we couldn’t see each other again.”
“Oh, Hayley!” Amy cried, her hand to her heart. “You poor thing. Why didn’t you tell me before now?”
“Because I don’t like to ask for help,” Hayley admitted. “You know that. Besides, all you seem to care about lately is Cressida Prior.”
“You’re right,” Amy said promptly. “I’m sorry. My head was so turned by Cressida I wasn’t able to see or hear anyone but her. Look, I have something to tell you, too. I quit. I haven’t told my mom yet, but I will tonight.”
“You quit?” A smile came to Hayley’s face for the first time in days. “That’s fantastic. Tell me everything.”
So Amy did, starting at the very beginning.
“I’m really impressed,” Hayley said when Amy had finished her tale. And then she smiled ruefully. “You know, our experiences this summer couldn’t have been more different. Even though we’re the best of friends it’s like we’ve been living in two entirely different worlds. You could see my mistakes so clearly and I could see yours and yet neither of us was really able to help the other.”
“Tell me about it,” Amy agreed. “And how odd is it that I never met Marisa and you never met Cressida. You really love your charges and I hardly got to know mine.”
“The Whitbys are excellent employers, while the Priors are far from it.”
“And the Whitbys have a stable marriage, while the Priors have a rotten one.” Amy shuddered. “I feel I’ve been tainted by being in the presence of such a miserable husband and wife.”
Hayley smiled kindly. “You’ll get over it. You’re strong, Amy.”
“Thanks. So are you.”
“Am I?” Hayley shook her head. “Honestly, I’m wondering how I’ll ever get over Ethan. How could I have fallen in love with someone I’m so entirely unsuitable for?”
“Don’t say that!” Amy protested. “You’re a wonderful, intelligent, beautiful, kind person. Anyone would be thrilled to marry you.”
“I’ll argue that some other time. Tell me about your romantic life this summer. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own woes I never asked if anything was finally going on with you and Noah.”
“Nothing, I’m afraid,” Amy said with a sigh. “You know, Cressida saw Noah once when we were in town. She said horrible things about him and I didn’t stick up for him. I feel so ashamed about that. Noah is sweet and smart and talented. I’ll be lucky if he still agrees to talk to me after I cancelled a date because Cressida needed me to spend the night.”
“He’s not going away that easily, Amy,” Hayley assured her. “Everyone knows he’s been in love with you since we were kids.”
“I don’t know about in love, but . . .”
“You’d make adorable children. At the very least they’d have amazing hair.”
Amy blushed. “Kids! Isn’t that leaping ahead a bit? We’ve never even kissed.”
“Then it’s about time you did,” Hayley scolded. “Why don’t you ask him out? Apologize again for cancelling the date and suggest a picnic on the beach one evening.”
Amy smiled. “I guess if I can stand up to Cressida Prior I can handle just about anything, even rejection by a guy I really admire.”
“There’s the spirit. You know, back in the spring when we first talked about being summer nannies we never thought we’d wind up where we are, did we? Our lives turned upside down.”
Amy nodded. “The question is, Did we learn anything of value this summer? Are we going into the fall any wiser than we were a few months ago?”
“I don’t know about wiser,” Hayley admitted, “but I definitely feel chastened. I had so little idea of what love felt like, romantic love I mean. I had so little respect for it. What about you?”
“Wiser, I think. At least I hope so. I don’t want to get caught up by another manipulative person like Cressida Prior ever again. It’s pretty embarrassing how I just ate up whatever she fed me.” Amy laughed. “Not real food, of course!”
“Speaking of real food, how about we hit the Mexican Kitchen soon?”
“I’m there,” Amy said. “Just name the day.”
“We make a pretty good team when we actually pay attention to what the other is saying,” Hayley noted. She could feel tears pricking at her eyes. She didn’t think Amy had ever seen her cry, not even when she had sprained her wrist falling off the slide in the playground when they were kids.
“We do make a good team,” Amy agreed. “We definitely do.”
Chapter 125
Amy looked around her bedroom. During the course of the summer she had made a few attempts at tidying up but had never really succeeded. That was okay. There were a lot worse things to be in life than a messy, curvaceous woman with curly hair who liked to wear sundresses and the bracelets her mother made for her, a woman who liked to cuddle her cats and eat a decent meal. A woman who loved and respected her mother.
Amy knew that she was partly responsible for what had happened this summer. Did she really present such a blank slate to the world that a person felt that she could choose what to write upon her? If that were the case then things had to change, and before much more time was wasted. She needed to know her own mind and to make it known to others.
She thought about those who loved her for who and what she was. There had been her grandparents, and there was always her mother. For a few months, there had been her father, too. By all accounts he had adored his infant daughter, and Amy had the photos to prove it. There was Hayley, and like Hayley had said, they made a pretty good team. And there was Vera, and maybe there would even be Noah Woolrich. She bet her father would have approved of Noah. To lose sight of those people as she had almost lost
sight of them that summer was simply wrong. It was also dangerous.
Now, Amy thought, to tell her mother what she had done that morning. She knew her mother would be proud.
Chapter 126
Leda was in the living room, reading another of the cozy mysteries she adored, when Amy came into the room and plopped into an armchair.
“Winston, come sit on my lap,” Amy called. He did, and Amy laid her hand on his furry back.
Harry had followed his friend into the room and was glaring up at Amy. Leda patted the couch. “Come sit on Mamma,” she called. With a last accusing look at Amy, Harry leaped onto the couch and with elaborate deliberation settled on Leda’s lap.
“Mom?” Amy said. “Can we talk?”
Leda put her book aside. “Sure. What’s up?”
“I quit my job working for the Priors.”
Leda was stunned. “You did?” she said. “Tell me everything.”
“It’s a long story,” Amy said, “but I’ll try to make it brief. A few weeks ago, Cressida offered me a position in Atlanta as her right-hand woman. She was never very specific about what being a right-hand woman involved, but I considered the idea for a while. And then I started to really pay attention to how Cressida was actually manipulating me while pretending she was my mentor and friend. I started to really pay attention to all of the weird things about her relationship to her husband and the cold way she treated her children and the callous way she regarded pretty much everyone else until finally I realized there was no way I wanted to move into the Priors’ home to be a sort of menial servant.”
Leda shook her head. “I wish you had told me about this offer. I could have . . . no. I was going to say that I could have helped you to think about it, but I don’t think you would have allowed me to help.”
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