by Cin Medley
“Don’t worry, it’s my pleasure. I just wish these boys would give me some grandchildren.” Looking at Jo, “You ready?”
“I am, momma put some clean clothes in my back pack. She said I was going to stay overnight with you.”
“Yes, you are. But if you want to come back home you let me know and I will bring you, okay?”
Jo nodded, “I’m not scared. Momma is mad at Paul and she is going to yell at him, so she wants to make sure I don’t hear them.” She whispered to Sally.
I felt myself swallow hard, my eyes moved to Victoria. She crouched down to hug Joanna. “You be good, if you want me to come and get you just let Sally know.”
I watched as Joanna put her hand on Victoria’s face, “It’s all right momma, Paul is a good guy.”
Victoria smiled, “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Joanna said. Turning she looked at me. I got down on my knees. “Don’t yell at momma.”
I smiled, “I won’t. I promise. You go and have some fun.”
She threw her arms around my neck. Then she walked out the door with Sally and Joe. Victoria looked at Max and Denny, “Could you please leave us alone.” They nodded and headed to different parts of the house. “No, I mean could you please leave.”
Max stood there looking at me, I nodded. Whatever she had to say was not going to be good. I stayed on my knees as everyone left. She turned and went into the kitchen. I heard her banging cabinets and pots around. I got up and made my way in there, sitting at the breakfast bar I watched as she made something to eat.
“Jo told me you were a good guy. I am not inclined to believe her.”
“Victoria,” I whispered.
“No, don’t even. You know who he is, you know because you work for him. You are part of this mess. You are an arms dealer. Did you have anything to do with the explosives in my arm? Is that how Max knew they were in there?”
“When Jo said she didn’t want to go back to England, something didn’t feel right. So I asked Max to clean house. When he found the canisters in Jo’s room, it scared the shit out of me. I had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right. I had no idea that he did that to you. But to be honest I don’t believe it was him. Victoria,” She put her hand up to stop me from talking.
“You knew all along why I was working for your brother?” She whispered.
“I knew someone was hired, I had no idea it was you.”
“But when we met you knew who I was?”
“No, the puzzle didn’t complete itself until you left. By then I was so in love with you, I would have done anything to stop it all. But I can’t Victoria. I can’t.”
She laughed, “Oh I know you can’t. Little knows who you are?”
“I would imagine he does, but he hasn’t let on that he does.”
“So this is how you knew McDonald? This is why Marciano used your club?”
“Yes,” I swallowed hard. I can’t lose her. I won’t. I stood up.
“No!” she yelled. “No, don’t touch me. Nowhere does this make anything we did acceptable. You knew about your brother, you knew he killed Johnathan? You knew he killed your wife? How is it possible that you can stand there and think any of this is acceptable? I spent my life detesting men like you. Killing men like you, trying to save this fucking planet from assholes like you. When Paul, is it acceptable to put a gun in the hands of a child? For profit no less.”
“Victoria, I told you I lost my mind when Sylvia was killed. I wanted revenge.”
She busted out laughing, “So instead you go to work for the very man who had her murdered.”
“I didn’t know it was him,” I shouted.
“But you knew in England and then you just walked the fuck away and lied to me. You fucking lied to me.”
Shaking my head, “No, I didn’t lie to you. Not once. I just haven’t told you everything about me. So much has happened, when was there time?”
She laughed again, “Well there was plenty of time to fuck me. But no time to tell me the truth?”
“I didn’t lie to you. Not once.”
“An omission of truth is a lie. I have been nothing but honest with you. I trusted you and you sit at the right hand of the very man who single handedly ended my twin brother. My only friend, the only man who I could completely trust.”
“Victoria, I love you,” I whispered.
“No!” She shouted. Shoving past me, “No! You don’t have the right to say that to me.”
I watched her walk towards the deck. I followed her, “Where are you going?”
“As far away from you as I can,” she shouted.
I grabbed her by the arm. I knew she was going to hit me, but I didn’t care, I deserved every bit of what she is going to give me. She spun around, and I grabbed her arm wrapping mine around her. “I fucking love you,” I whispered on her lips, “You own me.”
“I don’t fucking…” was all she got out before I kissed her.
She kissed me back for about ten seconds and then I felt her knee slam into my groin. The pain was so intense, that I nearly threw up. Letting her go, she punched me in the face, shoving me to the deck. “Don’t fucking touch me!” She screamed.
I felt her feet leave the deck. I couldn’t see straight. I couldn’t breathe. Who knew getting kneed in the fucking balls when you had an erection hurt worse than if you didn’t.
I heard Al chuckle as he helped me up. “She is one pissed off woman. You should have told her,” he said helping me into a chair. “I’ll get you some ice for that.” He chuckled as he walked into the house.
I sat there watching her walk toward the beach. Denny tried to stop her and she laid him out on the lawn. She kept walking right into the water. I watched her swim out. Al came back with two bags of ice, one for my balls and one for my eye. Sitting down he chuckled. “Not funny, deserved, but not funny. Fuck,” I said as I put the ice on my cock.
We sat there not saying a word. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She must feel so betrayed. Knowing what she knows, me not telling her. I closed my eyes and put my head back fighting the tears. “Keep an eye on her please.” I got up and went to the bedroom. I crawled into bed with my ice and let the tears come.
I never imagined I would find her, the woman to open my heart again. I don’t want to lose her, but I think I might. Jo told her I was a good man, maybe she will know in her heart that I am, that I love her beyond any feeling or emotion I could explain. I don’t know how long I laid there, but I felt her. Opening my eyes, she was standing in the doorway looking at me. She was so angry. So hurt.
She walked into the bathroom a few minutes later I heard the shower turn on. I got up and made my way in there. I could see her standing with her hands against the wall. I watched as she pulled one down to cover her mouth. Then I heard her muffled scream. My clothes came off my body in record speed and I was wrapping my arms around her.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. Victoria, I am so in love with you. Please know that. Please beautiful.”
I never begged for anything in my life. I never wanted anything more than I want this woman. She laid her head back on my chest. “I can’t do this.” She sobbed out. I felt her pull away. I didn’t want to let her go, but I had to. She walked out of the shower, leaving me standing there feeling completely empty.
Turning off the water, I got out, wrapping a towel around me I went into the closet to grab some clothes. She was sitting on the bench with her knees pulled up to her chest. I got down on my knees in front of her, I didn’t touch her. “I don’t know what to say, except that I’m right here beautiful. I’m not going anywhere. I love you.”
Her eyes were so cold, so unfeeling. She shook her head, “You lied to me. It’s the worst betrayal,” she whispered.
“I know. I just couldn’t find a way to tell you. I knew you would eventually find out. I think I preferred it this way. I couldn’t tell you, I didn’t know how. I promise you Victoria, I didn’t know how.” I was sincere.
She just sat there looking at me, her eyes filled with tears. Slowly they fell from her eyes onto her perfect cheeks. I wanted to hold her in my arms and help her through this, but she needed to come to me. She needed to know within herself that she can trust me. I didn’t move, I didn’t look away. If I could say everything I wanted and needed to say with my eyes, she would see it, feel it. She has too.
Her eyes started to soften, she nodded a small nod. My hands grabbed her pulling into my arms. “God Victoria, I love you, you have to know that.”
She started sobbing, “I do. I do know it. I’m so sorry Paul, so sorry for hurting you like that.”
I shook my head, “I deserved that and more. It’s my own fault for not telling you.” I thought I would die when her arms wrapped around me. “I love you,” I whispered as I kissed her head. “In such a short time, you’ve become everything to me. I just want us to be happy, to live the life we both have been robbed of.”
“Me, too.” She whispered into my neck. Kissing me lightly.
“Oh god beautiful,” I moaned as she drew the skin on my neck into her mouth.
As she released it she whispered, “Paul, I need to not feel this. I need you, so much. Make me forget.”
I pulled her head back and kissed her. I love the way she tastes. I love everything about her. I pushed up on my knees, she wrapped her legs around me. I stood up carrying her to our bed, and it was our bed, it will always be ours. Climbing on I gently laid her down. Pulling back, I undid her towel, her hands moved to mine and she pulled it away. Her fingers trailing along my cock. “I’m so sorry I hurt you.”
I shook my head, kissing her. I couldn’t stop myself, she is heaven on earth. We have no worries in this room, in this bed. Slowly and gently my mouth gladly covered every inch of her beautiful body. I just can’t get enough of her scent, her taste, her essence. Her quiet mews, and the way her body reacts to my touch is such a turn on. Once upon a time I loved, and needed to hear a woman scream, but now, knowing her, it’s so much more, just to feel the truth her body tells under my touch.
Laying in his arms is the most alive I have ever felt. The way he makes me feel is like nothing I have ever known. Well considering he is only the second man I have ever been with, that’s not saying much. I know I hurt him this afternoon, as I look at his sleeping face, his eye is turning purple. I feel bad, I really do, but not that bad. He failed to tell me who he really was.
I can’t believe he knows; we can never tell anyone. I want a life with him, with Joanna. I can’t sleep, so I manage to get out of bed without disturbing him. I know he is worried, hell scared to death about everything. I am, but not as much as I believe he is. I just wish there was some way to end this with our lives intact.
I put on some clothes and headed out onto the deck. I checked my phone to make sure Joanna was doing good. She hadn’t texted me or called. I’m still nervous about letting her go, but I trust Al. Not sure about Joe. But Al, I believe is a good soul.
Mr. Little hadn’t come by today, so that has me a bit on edge. Al came walking up from the boathouse. “Everything all right?” He asked gently.
“It’s getting there. This is all so fucked up. How is everything coming along with our disappearance from this life?”
“My guy is working on it. At some point, we are going to need some pictures, for passports, driver’s license’s things like that.”
I nodded, “I have a red wig I can wear. I just want to be me again. Let my hair grow back. Too many people have seen me like this.” I reached up and flicked my hair. “Listen I think getting lost in America is the way we want to go. Someplace with a lake, a beach, a cottage, nothing big. Two maybe three bedrooms, and someplace where we have all the season’s, maybe a bit of land.”
He nodded, “I think we can do that for you. Well it’s getting late, so I’m going to get some sleep. Little will be back tomorrow, so be ready.”
I laughed, “That man has something up his sleeve.”
“Yes he does. But from what I’ve seen you can handle him.”
Smiling I said, “Oh you know it, I just don’t want to have to kill him. I don’t think that would go over well.”
Al busted out laughing, “No it wouldn’t, but believe it or not, we have a plan in place just in case that happens.” He smiled and walked off the deck. I sat there watching him go.
Kathy was right, I am never going to be safe. I need to trust Paul, but I’m not so sure I can. My phone vibrated on the table. I picked it up swiping it on. A text message from an unknown number. Opening it up I read it.
Art
My heart started racing. I looked at the time. Ten thirty. I got up and headed to the boat house. “Al can I talk to you?” I walked outside and headed towards the driveway. “I need you to take me someplace, right now.”
We walked to the car and he started driving. “Where we going?”
“Same place as this afternoon.”
He looked at me. “Victoria, do you know what you are doing?”
“Yes and no. I’m going to need your gun.”
“I’m going with you.”
“You can’t. I need to do this alone.”
“I can’t let you do that.”
“Well you are going to have to know that I can take care of myself. Joanna is safe and so is Paul. If anything happens to me, that is all I care about right now.”
We pulled up in front of the Art Institute. My phone vibrated. I swiped it open.
Back door
“Can you go around to the back?”
As I got out of the car he handed me his gun. “You’ve have ten minutes, then I’m calling for back up and coming in after you.”
I giggled, “I could be dead in ten minutes. I don’t believe I am going to be, but please don’t put yourself in harm’s way. If this is what I think it is, I shouldn’t be longer than ten minutes. Just please stay here. I would like to know that I didn’t take one of your mother’s sons with me. If I don’t come back, please tell Paul I love him and remind him that he promised me.”
“You’ll be back, because if you’re not. Everyone in that building will be dead before the sun comes up.”
I smiled, “Thank you, for everything Al.” I got out of the car and headed through the gates. When I reached the back door, I reached for the handle expecting it to be locked, but it wasn’t.
When I walked in I heard his voice, “Hello Victoria. Thank you for coming.” I just stood there, I knew there were guns pointed at me. I also knew that whoever pulled the trigger would be dead seconds after. “I think it’s time we had a talk.”
“I have three questions I want answered. Did you have Johnathan and Paul’s wife killed? Were you responsible for the death of my baby? Did you have those chemical weapons put in my arm?”
“No, to all three of them.”
“Then I have nothing to discuss with you. The more knowledge I have, or people think I have makes the target on my back bigger. I want a life with the man I love and with Joanna.”
“That’s why I’m here.”
“Don’t expect me to believe one word that comes out of your mouth. You are here to see if what you believe is true. I am walking away. I want nothing to do with you. Just let me go, and continue to live the life you have made for yourself. I just don’t care anymore. He loves me, I choose him. I choose Joanna. It’s done. Karma is a bitch and it will find you, but it won’t be me on the other end.”
I turned around, as I put my hand on the knob I heard him say. “I love you.”
Shaking my head, I had to fight back the tears. I just opened the door and walked out. I could see Al in the car, he didn’t look so well. I opened the door, getting in I said, “It’s done. Take me home.” I didn’t look back, I didn’t care. I handed Al his gun and he took me back to the lake house.
When I walked in the door Paul came flying out of the kitchen. “Where the hell have you been.” When I picked up my head, his whole body changed. He grabbed me wrapping me in his
arms. Al nodded and headed back to the boat house.
I wanted to be held by him, but not at that moment. I pushed on his chest. “I can’t.” He let me go and I walked out the door headed to the beach. I just needed to be alone. I needed…hell I don’t know what I needed, but I didn’t need him to hold me. Sitting down I pushed my feet into the sand.
My heart still slamming in my chest, I didn’t want to believe it. I couldn’t. How did I not know? I hate when things work out the way they do. I never made the connection, but then how would anyone make that connection. It was never a thought that entered my mind.
I need to let Kathy go, I can’t be responsible for what happens to her. She betrayed me, just like Steven did. What happens to her happens to her, I’ll give her the option to go where she wants, I just don’t care anymore. The tears just fell from my eyes. It’s over, I can’t look back. I can’t let this get in the way of the rest of my life. I don’t trust him. Not sure I believe him either. How is any of this possible? I felt my stomach turn over. I rolled onto my knees as my stomach turned and the contents rising fast. Again, and again I heaved, until there was nothing. But my stomach didn’t stop, it hurt, I hurt, my heart hurt. I didn’t plan on the scream coming, but it did, from deep inside of me. I didn’t try to cover it up like I have for the past three years. I just let it go, again and again I screamed. I knew there were ten men standing looking at me, slowly I could feel them walking away. When the sobs came I felt his arms lift me off the sand.
“I got you beautiful,” he whispered. “I got you.”
I let him carry me to the house, he crawled into bed with me holding me, wrapping me in his cocoon. I cried myself to sleep in his arms. His hold never failing me. When I woke up he was right there, kissing my forehead. “I got you beautiful,” he whispered.
I unwrapped myself from him and went to use the bathroom. When I walked out he was sitting on the end of the bed. I walked up to him, wrapping my arms around his head pulling him to my stomach. He held me tight, then I walked out of the bedroom, putting my shoes on I walked out the front door and took off running. I don’t know how far or how long I ran, but when I stopped, I only stopped because my legs wouldn’t move anymore. I lay in the grass and cried some more. I think I might be having some kind of nervous breakdown. I couldn’t find control. I couldn’t get control.