While Jacob had lain recovering from his injuries, Hannah had spoken to Luke just the once about what had happened between them. Everything else had just been awkward, banal, small talk connected with the ranch.
They’d been alone in the barn where Jacob couldn’t hear them. She told Luke that she knew he and his brother would never reveal their little secrets d’amour but she also needed Luke to know that the time they’d spent together was beautiful, and that she would never forget it. She would always hold a special place in her heart for him. Perhaps things could have been different if she didn’t still have other responsibilities to her family, and to Jacob. After all, he’d worked hard this past year, not only to settle his debts, but hers too.
When she’d spoken the words, they tripped from her mouth so matter-of-factly. Not a shred of emotion showed on her lovely face. Luke merely nodded, afraid to speak lest she hear the crack in his voice. He didn’t need her to spell it out. She loved Jacob more than she did him. Too much of a gentleman, he wouldn’t embarrass her by putting up a fight. Instead, he recalled Jed’s words when he said they’d just been a passing fancy for her, and that they’d just been there in her moment of need.
Trying to be blunt and forthright about it all, he nearly convinced himself it was true. He told himself they’d soon be off on their travels again anyway. After thirty years of life, he craved adventure now, not romance, and it wouldn’t be fair on Hannah to ask her to give up everything she’d fought for to go with him. After all the excitement, maybe a settled home and babies was what she dreamed of now. Jacob could provide her with that, so, better to leave her now and forget about her before he became even more involved in her life. A few weeks back on the trail would mend his broken heart, although God only knew there wasn’t much of it left to break. Shredded and chewed into tiny pieces, it was ready for spitting out into the trash with the rest of his feelings. Her cool words had only confirmed what he’d dreaded, and imagined, all along.
Jacob had only been back a couple of days when Luke knew he had to walk away from her. Unable to sleep one night, he’d walked from his bed in the stable up to the house. A lamp still burned there and, in the darkness, he’d been looking at the stars and reflecting upon all that had happened.
He hoped he might catch Hannah alone and maybe ask her to leave all this behind and join him and Jed on their journey west. They’d had no time to speak together since the shoot-out. William had taken over the running of things and time passed by in a flurry of schemes and tasks to get the town, as well as the ranch, running smoothly once more. When they did speak, the conversation was always a little awkward as if neither had the nerve to confront their feelings.
As he stood outside the bedroom window at the back of house, he heard Hannah talking softly to Jacob. He couldn’t quite make out the words but he could certainly imagine the way her soft breath would have been dancing and tickling across Jacob’s neck and down his spine. After all, he’d experienced it himself. His bones had melted at the soft whisper of her voice.
Next, he’d heard the bedsprings as two bodies fell together. Laughter followed. Jacob hollered deeply, groaning to stifle his pain with every guffaw and Hannah too laughed uncontrollably. She had a wonderful giggle that showed her complete and utter ease with a person. Only this time, he reminded himself, it was Jacob who received her joy, not him.
At that point, he walked away. He wasn’t in the habit of eavesdropping and he didn’t need to listen to anymore. His thoughts were fired up enough already. He imagined her delightful, naked body flaunting itself on top of Jacob’s, with her full breasts bouncing and jiggling as she sat astride him, riding him hard and furiously. Jacob’s injury might be healing fast but Luke knew from firsthand experience that Hannah knew of ways to pleasure an injured man. She’d used her same charms on him after his beating.
His head pounded and he had to rest a finger and thumb at each side of the bridge of his nose to try to massage away the pain. His brain felt fit to burst. Images of her throwing back her head and arching, exposing the length of her throat as her hair fell across her shoulders and down her back, filled every nook and cranny of his mind. He had to get away before he heard her cry out in glorious rapture and then, fully satiated, fall against Jacob’s body while receiving his juices as he spasmed and ejaculated inside her.
Luke curled his hand into a ball. Jealous as hell, he knew the time had come for him to go before he did anything stupid. So, decision made, he raised his head, inhaled deeply through flared nostrils, and strode back to the stable. Jacob made her happy. That was all that mattered.
He saddled his horse and rode into town where he got a room and joined Jed and Maggie for the rest of his stay. There would be plenty of girls only too ready to reward him for his part in liberating their town. He’d keep his promise to help William and the new hired hands to get the ranch up and running again, but he’d steer clear of Hannah and give her space to make amends to Jacob for what she’d done. It was the least he could do.
All the same, when the time came to bid farewell, he still needed to hold her in his arms a fraction longer than Jed had done. Highly unlikely they’d ever pass this way again, he needed to inhale her scent and lock the memory away in that secret part of his brain where he would always remember her. However, as her lips pressed against his cheek, she left them there just long enough to send one last jolt of electricity coursing down his spine.
Their eyes locked and, for a moment, Luke thought she might tell him that she wasn’t going to stay here after all. That the man standing behind her on the porch wasn’t the man she wanted to spend her life with. Jacob was almost recovered now, although he would always bear a scar on his upper chest. Hannah had nursed him back to health, along with other women from the town who had flocked to his side with a succession of supplies and support, including that doe-eyed, dark-haired Becky who hung onto his every word. He felt sorry for the girl. It was clear as day that she loved him but she would never be able to compete with a strong, feisty woman like Hannah.
He knew just how she felt.
Hannah never said a word. She just looked up at him sorrowfully with her beautiful, sapphire blue eyes, and a gaping hole opened up in his chest where his heart used to be.
* * * *
“Okay, bro?” Jed asked.
Luke had stayed quiet for most of the journey so Jed too had kept a respectful silence. He was glad of it. He needed time to come to terms with the fact that he would never see Hannah again.
Dusk had fallen as they pitched camp. They’d followed the trail west, determined to reach and cross the mountains before winter came. After Jacob’s and William’s descriptions of the new life and towns being built in California, it had fuelled their desire to go there too. They decided they wanted to reach the Pacific and see the beautiful blue ocean about which they’d heard so much. With the expertise that they’d learned from their father back East, they could see a whole lot of work available for them out there too.
On the way, they might even latch onto a wagon train. With their hunting and scouting skills, they could make themselves useful to the pioneers who also made their way out West.
“Never better,” Luke mumbled.
“Liar,” Jed laughed. “But just wait till we get out there to California. There’ll be women lining up to fuck the pair of us once we show them what a good time we can give them. That’ll soon put all thoughts of the lovely Hannah out of your head.” He paused for a moment. “My thoughts, too, come to that. She’s one heck of a woman. Never seen one quite so hot for a man as she was that afternoon watching you wash yourself buck naked in the bath.”
Trust his little brother to raise a smile from him. With Jed’s words now carving a pleasant pathway through his memories too, Luke allowed the smile to slither to his mouth. It curled his lips a fraction.
“All right, I think that’s enough. Anyway, I thought you might be missing Maggie just a tad.”
“Naw,” Jed replied. “She was fun
but she’s got her sights set on that rancher.”
“And his sons.” Luke finally chuckled.
Jed joined in his laughter. “She was one hell of a fuck though. She certainly knows how to pleasure a man.” He raised his eyes knowingly. “Two men even.” He paused for a moment, indicating that Luke could have joined in the fun, too, if he’d let himself, instead of spending his nights drinking or losing himself in card games until the early hours of the morning. “I’m also glad she joined us for supper last night with Hannah and Jacob. I know it would have been hard for you otherwise.”
Luke answered with a grunt. Yes, his brother was right, as if he wanted reminding, but at least Maggie’s presence, and her wicked turn of conversation, had made it bearable. A good friend to Hannah in the days following the shoot-out, everything had worked out well for Maggie. He was glad somebody had come out of it better off. At least he could be happy for someone.
Chapter Thirty-Three
There’d been a few raised eyebrows at the friendship Hannah and Maggie had forged, even though Maggie had become something of the town heroine. The womenfolk in the town admired her for what she had done, although they still remained nervous of her reputation. So, despite the fact that Maggie spent many a night drinking thank you offerings from the menfolk, the women made certain that they tightened their leashes on their husbands.
However, Maggie hardly noticed. She kept herself busy with Jed, tending to his every wish and desire. Nevertheless, there had been one notable exception, and, as they’d shared their farewell supper the previous evening, she’d looked fit to burst as she told her friends her news.
“Remember me telling you that I might settle down one day?” she said, reminding Jed of a conversation they’d had that night when he’d found her battered and bruised after her encounter with McCabe. “Well, there’s a rancher who’s been calling on me for a while. His wife died a couple of years back and he’s been rather lonely in the female department so I’ve been attending to his needs in that way. Well, since I’ve earned such wonderful notoriety as The Girl Who Killed Ethan McCabe.” She spoke the words theatrically. “He’s been visiting more than usual. He can’t keep away.”
Her eyes sparkled, and she paused dramatically to let everyone absorb her news, while Jed raised his eyebrows knowingly.
“And guess what? He’s asked me to marry him and go live with him up on his ranch. He’s quite a bit older than me but he can still fuck for Ireland. He certainly knows plenty of ways to give a girl a good time. I like it when a man is ready to put a woman’s needs first. And he most certainly does. Just like someone else I know.” She shot Jed a wicked, little smile.
“Congratulations,” Jed smiled, and then teased, “but are you sure you’ll get enough satisfaction with just one man. And an old one at that?” As the past two weeks had proved, Maggie’s sexual appetite was nothing short of voracious. She’d certainly kept Jed busy, and fully satisfied.
Her soft laughter gurgled wickedly in her throat.
“Well, he’s also got four strapping, grown-up sons. So, I suppose if I do get a little bored…” She deliberately trailed off as she shot all of them a naughty look. As Jed already knew, Maggie wasn’t averse at satisfying more than one man at a time. In fact, she positively reveled in it. He just wished Luke had gone all the way with them. It might have taken his mind off the delectable Hannah who sat across from him, doing her darnedest to look happy, and failing miserably. Thank goodness for Maggie. At least she’d brightened up the conversation and they could all laugh with her, knowing she meant no malevolence. That it was just her way.
Before she rode back into town, she insisted on giving each of them a parting gift. Drawing long, sock-like objects from her bag, she gave one first to Jed and then to them all. They recognized them immediately as condoms.
Hannah had been fascinated when Maggie first showed her one. She’d told her so much about her wayward life and Hannah had learned so much from her. Hannah had thought herself a woman of the world. It made her realize how innocent she really was.
“Any whore worth her salt knows ways to protect herself from unwanted babies and the dreaded pox,” Maggie told her one afternoon. “And even a married woman needs to learn ways to restrict babies too.” She paused for a moment as she added dramatically, “Although the manly powers that be think it ungodly for us women to have access to them. They think we should only open our legs for procreation and nothing more. If we don’t want babies, we’re the ones who should show restraint. Someone ought to tell them that it’s a bit hard to do that when it’s a man’s cock that puts the babies there. It’s not easy for a married woman to say no to a big burly husband when most men only ever think with their cocks. They’re more concerned with sticking them up our cunts than doing anything to protect us from getting pregnant. You should hear some of the things men say to get out of using one.” She spoke in a deeper voice, adopting an exaggerated tone. “‘I tell you, it’s like making love to a sock,’ they’ll say. So, I’ll say, ‘Better to make love to a sock than have your cock drop off, isn’t it? You don’t know what some harlots have got.’ And put like that, how can they refuse when it’s their precious pricks that are put in danger?”
Maggie made Hannah laugh. Quite a revolutionary in her own way, Maggie was also the only one with whom Hannah had shared her innermost thoughts. One afternoon, she’d expressed her doubts about staying with Jacob. At the same time, she told her that she didn’t want to let him down after all he’d done, for her as well as himself.
Maggie realistically pointed out that, as a man, he’d soon get over it. There were a bevy of beauties who’d be only too willing to accommodate him should he suddenly find himself free of her, noticeably that Becky who fairly swooned every time he spoke to her. He’d once had feelings for her. They’d soon return once he fathomed out that Hannah had just turned his head for a while. That, in her, he’d found a worthy ally with whom to fight against McCabe
Hannah had giggled a little shyly, too, that he probably thought her a good fuck as well. Hannah, also, finally found the courage to confess her wicked past with him to her newfound friend.
“Well, if it’s a good fuck you’re after, you should go with Luke and Jed,” Maggie suggested, “because maybe, just maybe, I think you might just love that Luke a little bit more than you do Jacob.” Maggie was far too perceptive for her own good.
At first, Hannah pooh-poohed the idea but eventually admitted a little sadly, “What Luke and I had was good. But now that Jacob’s back, he’s ignoring me like hell.”
The shock of finding him packed and gone just two days after Jacob’s return had cut to the quick. There was so much she’d wanted to say to him but, having done his duty by her, he obviously saw his job as finished. That was why she’d been so calm and down-to-earth that day she’d spoken to him in the barn. Better to let him think she loved Jacob and was staying with him than let Luke think he’d have to deal with some emotional, lovesick woman. Hannah had stood on her own two feet for too long to start begging for affection.
“Only because he doesn’t want to get hurt, darlin’,” Maggie said. “And that’s what’s going to happen to you, too, if you stay here. You’re not ready to settle down and have babies yet. You need a bit of adventure in your life first.”
“As if I haven’t had enough of that this past year,” Hannah scoffed.
Although, last night, when Maggie handed her the condom, she knew for certain she wouldn’t ever use it as Jacob’s wife. She cared for him but she wasn’t going to marry him. She didn’t even belong here anymore.
But what would she do instead? Return to her mother and sisters, and brother who would be almost back home by now? What would she do then? Let her mother talk her into finding her a suitable husband? The thought filled her with horror.
No, what she really wanted was to continue traveling. She loved this land and she wanted to explore it. Jacob and William had talked of the exciting new world out in California and s
he needed to see it, too. If only Luke and Jed would ask her to go with them. She’d do so like a shot. But they didn’t.
Sadness gripped her cruelly, viciously twisting its knife through her heart and belly. However, no one would have guessed. As they sat, so civilized, eating supper together, she painted a wide smile on her face and hid behind her mask.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Dusk fell. Hannah nudged her horse through the trees. She’d been full of confidence and hope since setting off but the farther she traveled the more anxious she began to feel. She thought she might have caught up with them by now.
She’d watched Luke and Jed ride away until they were nothing more than mere specks on the horizon. The pain ripped through her heart to think she’d never see them again. She looked up at Jacob. Last night she’d finally made up her mind. She wouldn’t be staying.
She’d not said a word to him but she could tell he already knew. She could see it in his eyes, not sadness but relief. Hannah might have proved a loyal and steadfast friend in their battle against McCabe but, the truth was, she was too much woman for him.
He’d come back from California full of dreams and plans not only for his ranch but for the town too. After explaining his ideas to them, the townsfolk saw in him a strong man who could run the town fairly as their new mayor. They persuaded him to run for office and he wanted, by his side, a good woman who would complement and support him. He needed a woman who would serve on committees and work with other women, leaving him to deal with matters of more importance, men’s work.
Much as she cared for Jacob, Hannah knew she could never be that woman he envisioned. If only they’d been truthful with each other, they would have probably seen it from the very beginning. They’d both been infatuated beyond belief, and had turned each other’s heads.
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