by AJ Rose
“Baseball bats are fine for a burglar. They’re not fine for hunting for meat. Or for facing down a group of people fighting for their survival, just like we are.” He said it gently and began swaying back and forth. He was as tired of arguing as she was.
“God, Ash, you should hear yourself.” She clung to him and buried her face in his chest, her hot breath filtering through the thin t-shirt he’d slept in.
“If we get to Seattle in one piece, with no crazy people to run from, then you can tell me I told you so for the rest of my life, and I will bow to your rightness every time. But I’d rather have all this and not need it than need it and not have it. Maybe I did go overboard. But we can’t exactly stay in a hotel every night. We’re going to have to camp or sleep in the van. I would rather make it an adventure, especially for Riley’s sake. Remember that week-long camping trip we went on with Dad to the Adirondacks? We had a blast.” He pulled back and rubbed her arms, pleased to have coaxed a smile out of her.
“I remember.”
“So let’s do it again, okay? Only this time, we’ll really be roughing it, because there’ll be no restocking at the nearest grocery store, and we’ll have to be careful of other people. But maybe it’ll be fun. As fun as we can make it under the circumstances.” It was the best he could think of, because he was fresh out of arguments.
“I don’t know, Ash,” she said reluctantly. “I still think we wait for the military, if they’re coming.”
“If they’re coming. We don’t know they are. All we have is the word of some fancy billionaire halfway around the world, who we’ve never spoken to before, and his henchman, who incidentally agrees with me on getting out of here.”
She sighed but changed the subject, giving him no answer. “How’d you pay for all that?” He raised a brow at her, and she tilted her head in resigned comprehension. “Seriously? What if you had gotten caught? Then where would we be?”
“We were careful, I swear.” He regaled her with the tale of the three looters who took care of their dirty work. She was entertained, he could tell, though she didn’t seem to want him to know it. “All we had to do was drive into the showroom, load up, and drive back out. Swear, unless someone was looking at the doors in the ten seconds it took us to drive in or out, no one knew we were there.”
He didn’t detail having to smash the gun cases to get at the rifles, nor did he mention the second Colt .45 he’d snagged, which he fully intended to train her to shoot, once they got to a safe place to fire the weapon.
She sighed again and moved away to make instant coffee, going outside in the crisp air in her pajamas and slippers to light the grill and heat the water. By the time she returned five minutes later with the steaming carafe, Ash had loaded the first few waypoints into the GPS at the table.
“Will you at least pretend to give a damn about my opinion and help me load the backpacks?” He pressed the lid of the cookie tin closed, smoothing down the aluminum tape, not looking at her in case she snarled at him again.
She didn’t answer right away, not until she’d made her coffee and sat across from him, tucking her legs up and wrapping her long fingers around her mug. “If I help you, you’ll ask me to do one more thing, and one more thing, and one more thing until the next I know, we’re tooling along in the van, driving to Uncle Marvin’s.”
“Would that work?” he asked with a grin.
“Probably.” She sipped her coffee and leveled him with a gaze. “I asked you for time before I decide to take my son away from everything he’s ever known. You’re not doing that.”
“Well, now we have other people to consider. Elliot needs medication to get him through, and we can’t keep stealing things, sis. You heard Brian. It’s safer for Elliot to be near a functioning hospital. It’s not just about Riley. Plus, he’d be safer once we get to places with power, too. People move all the time, and kids cope.”
“Moving?” she demanded.
He swallowed and met her furious expression head on. “What did you think would happen when I said it could be years before this mess is resolved?”
She folded her forearms in front of her on the table and lowered her head to them. “Jesus, Ash.”
“At least this way, he has more of a chance at normal than if we stuck around in some kind of military-run village. He could go to school with kids his age. He could make new friends, and in a couple years, have his first crush instead of being afraid of the neighbors breaking in because they’re hungrier than we are.”
“Dangerous,” she said in a small voice.
“Temporarily. Staying here is dangerous for the long haul.”
He saw the moment when her stubbornness kicked in, when her jaw clenched and her eyes went hard. “You want to just up and leave Mom and Dad.”
The punch to his gut—or was it his heart?—was sharper than he’d have expected. “They’re already dead,” he whispered. “They’re resting in peace side by side and will continue to do so. I don’t relish the idea of any of us joining them.”
Her eyes filled with tears, and she shoved her chair out and stood, glaring at him as she swiped her mug from the table, flouncing to her room with yet another door slam. He bowed his head and fought the ache in his chest, trying to keep his imagination in check. He wouldn’t let himself picture standing over another grave.
“Morning.”
Ash jumped and then relaxed at seeing a sleep-addled Elliot standing beside the table, absently scratching his chest, his hair on end. He hadn’t bothered to find his glasses, and Ash realized how innocent he looked. “Morning. Feeling better?”
Elliot swallowed a few times and sat heavily in the chair in front of him, clearly not yet with it.
“I feel like I ran a marathon last night.”
“Probably need more sleep.”
“Need a drink.” He rattled his bottle of pills.
Ash got Elliot some water, deciding coffee wasn’t a good idea if he needed to keep sleeping. Instant sucked anyway. His to-do list spun up in his thoughts again; he’d need to carry the other water bundles up from the basement to stash in the van’s storage compartments. Check the tires today. Pack the bags. Hit the drugstore.
“I’m sorry.”
“What for?” Ash asked.
“I didn’t want you guys to have to deal with my situation. I don’t want to be a burden.”
“You’re not a burden,” he said automatically. But isn’t that what he’d argued with Brian last night, that he didn’t need more to worry about on top of the issues they already had? He ducked his head sheepishly.
“I swear this will not become your problem if I can help it.” Elliot extracted a pill and swallowed it with as little water as he could get away with.
Ash held out his hand for the pill bottle. Elliot hesitated. “Well, come on. I need to see what the instructions are in case you’re supposed to take it with food or drink a lot of water or what.”
Elliot reluctantly dropped it in his hand with a rattle. Carbatrol, he read. Extended release capsules, take one by mouth every twelve hours. Nothing about taking it with food or anything about storing at a certain temperature. He opened the cap and peered at the capsules.
“Does it have any side effects we should be aware of?”
“No.” Elliot took a little more water, then capped it and set it aside for later, peeling one small piece from the label to mark it as his. “I’ve been on it for years, so I’m accustomed to its effects. I think if I stop taking it, I’ll have serious problems. It’s not one you’re supposed to quit cold turkey or skip doses. I’ve only missed my timing, never an entire dose.”
Ash passed the bottle back. “We’ll make sure you don’t run out. How much do you have?”
“Three weeks’ worth.”
Ash nodded, then grabbed his cookie tin. “Brian’s in the shower. If it’ll help, feel free to grab one after him. Water’s cold, but there’s nothing like a shower to make a man feel human again.” He squeezed Elliot’s shoulder as he moved to the living
room and began to sort his supplies into five piles.
Elliot followed a minute later, gazing at the mess. “Only five packs?”
“It’s all I could fit in the back of the van when we loaded up,” he lied. Truth was, he didn’t know how far Elliot could push himself, especially since the exercise at the park the previous morning might have contributed to the absence seizure. Ash didn’t look up from trying to pack a scalpel into the already compartmentalized medical kit without disturbing too much of the existing contents. He hoped Elliot would just drop it.
“Not because you don’t expect me to carry one, even when you got one for Riley?”
“I’m trying to make this an adventure for Riley. If he has a pack of his own, maybe he’ll feel like we’re on vacation. Plus he likes to help.” That was true, at least. “And it all has to fit in the van with six people. It’ll be crowded enough. Six packs didn’t fit.”
“Good, then if you don’t think I’m too wimpy to handle it, we can rotate who doesn’t have to carry a pack.”
Ash raised his face. “It matters that much to you?”
Elliot jutted his jaw stubbornly. “Yes.”
Brian hadn’t lied when he said Elliot was tougher than people gave him credit for. “All right. Pull your fucking weight.” He said the last with a grin, and Elliot grinned back, which turned into a yawn.
“I think I’ll pass on that shower until later. I’m not quite with it right now.” He moved to the sofa and stretched out once more, hiking the afghan around his shoulders. Rolling to his side so he could watch while Ash sorted, he occasionally offered a suggestion on how to puzzle-piece things together for maximum efficiency. The tents took up the most room, and the sleeping bags would hook to the bottom of the frame from their own sleeve and nylon handle. The rest Ash slowly situated in each bag, clearing the living room of the mess as each backpack plumped up. He tested them individually for weight, and when he was satisfied, he moved them out of the way.
“What now?” Elliot asked, his drowsiness plain.
“Now I keep chipping away at Charlotte to go. And wait for dark to get into the pharmacy.”
“Why’s it have to be dark?” Elliot asked, his eyelids falling closed for longer and longer intervals.
“Do you need your music?” Ash asked, deliberately side-stepping the question. Elliot had to have figured out how he’d acquired such a mass quantity of supplies, but saying it out loud turned his saliva to sand. Best not to speak of it.
“Not if you keep talking to me.”
“What do you want to talk about?” He sat beside the couch near Elliot’s head, crossing his legs as he studied Elliot’s face.
“I don’t know. Anything,” Elliot mumbled.
Sick of talking about the plan, and the danger, and the lengths he’d already gone to for their ragtag group, Ash cast about for a topic. He didn’t want to ask Elliot more about himself, because Elliot needed rest. He decided on a fond memory.
“When Riley was a little kid, we had a ritual. On Wednesdays, Charlotte worked late at the diner. Wednesdays were Dude Night for me and the little man, so I’d take him to the park to wear him out, and we’d get junk food for dinner. This particular Wednesday, I got Chinese food, thinking I was just so sick of chicken nuggets. He was about three, so I gave him a little rice, some cashew chicken, and we drank a gallon of lime Kool-Aid with it. He fell asleep while we watched Finding Nemo in Char’s room. My sister wasn’t due until two in the morning, so I usually slept in her room until she woke me when she got home. A little after midnight, Riley rolled over and whimpered. I woke up and asked him what was wrong, and he said, ‘Unca Ash, I hurt.’ But the word hurt turned into a gigantic hurl, and he horked green-tinted cashew chicken and rice all over her bed.”
“Gross,” Elliot said with a half-smile, his eyes staying closed.
“Tell you what, you gain a new appreciation for single parenthood when you’re trying to get vomit-covered pajamas off a crying toddler without smearing him more, put him in the bath, take the sheets off a bed before the nasty can soak into the mattress, and move a load of laundry from washer to dryer to make room for a new mess.”
“Was he okay? Was it the food?”
Ash chuckled. “No, I’d eaten it too, and I was fine. He just picked up a bug somewhere, as kids do, and he shared it with me in spectacular fashion. Charlotte came home as I was getting new sheets on the bed. Riley had fallen asleep on the comforter I’d thrown on the floor. Thankfully, it hadn’t suffered his digestive emissions.”
“He’s like your own kid, isn’t he?”
“Well, I was only fifteen at the time, so I’ve always thought of him more as a little brother.”
Elliot’s brow furrowed. “Fifteen? That’s young to be driving.”
“Oh, I had dinner delivered. Charlotte wouldn’t have let me drive her kid anywhere on a learner’s permit.”
“I promise not to vomit on you in my sleep.”
“Gee, thanks,” Ash said wryly. He was getting uncomfortable on the floor, so he moved to his knees but stopped before standing. Charlotte was in the back room with Russ and Riley was still in bed. Water ran in the bathroom, so Brian was occupied, and Ash and Elliot were alone. Ash smoothed Elliot’s hair off his forehead. Elliot closed his eyes and sighed.
“You should sleep. I’ll wake you if anything happens.”
Elliot didn’t answer, and soon he was snoring. Without thinking, Ash leaned down to kiss his forehead, then stood.
Riley and Brian emerged from the hallway at the same time, and with a quick finger to his lips when the boy got excited about all the new gear, Ash gave him the grand tour. Hell, he was out of options, and if he could get Riley pestering Charlotte to go on a great big camping trip, he wasn’t above it. Not if it meant their safety.
* * *
* * *
“Quit it,” Charlotte snapped as Ash checked one more time the front door was locked. “You’re making me nervous.”
“You should be nervous,” he grumbled. Elliot and Riley had made a pallet on the floor and had fallen asleep telling ghost stories. Riley’s were typically hilarious for a ten-year-old, more about bodily functions as creepy noises and discovering trolls were really mischievous uncles trying to scare their nephews. Elliot’s had been kid appropriate, but with a layer of uncertainty to them that left Ash on edge. More than one had ended with “and no one ever saw him again.”
“Why?” Charlotte asked tiredly. “Why do I need to be nervous, when you clearly have enough feet crawling over your grave for us all?”
“Because holing up in your house isn’t going to last much longer. Someone is going to come knocking, be it for help or other reasons, and you’re going to find out real quick how desperate people get when they’re scared.”
“Like you?” she shot back.
“Guys.” Brian tried to tame the umpteenth skirmish between them. “You’re going to tear each other apart long before the neighbors get to.”
“Shut up,” Ash and Charlotte said in unison. Brian held his hands up in exasperated surrender.
They all fell silent, stewing. Ash had managed to get everything he wanted to accomplished, except for the pharmacy run, but he was too on edge to leave his sister for even a little while, though he knew he’d better do it soon. Pharmacies were usually high on the list of looters’ priorities, and he didn’t fancy having to spend time looking through ransacked medicine shelves for the specific drug Elliot needed.
The bang of the kitchen screen door startled them enough to jump. Ash leapt to his feet, his hand instantly going to the gun in his waistband. Russ came into view.
“What’s going on?” he asked, stopping at the mouth of the living room. He frowned as though he could feel the heaviness in the air.
“Did you lock the door behind you?” Charlotte asked, standing as well and shooting Ash a murderous look as he dropped his hand.
“Course.”
“How bad is it out there?” Ash demanded.
“Your time is up.” Ash turned to Charlotte. “We leave tomorrow.” She started to protest, but he cut her off. “No more arguing. If I have to tie you up and throw you in that van, we are leaving.”
“You’ll have to knock me unconscious, too, little brother,” she snarled, words dripping with venom. “Whatever it takes, right? Stealing hundreds, if not thousands of dollars of gear wasn’t enough, huh? Let’s add assault to your list of crimes. Whatever will your rap sheet look like when we get to Marvin’s?”
“Cops are too busy to arrest me,” he shot back.
She glared at him, though he could see the sadness behind her anger, and that, more than her words, sliced off a little piece of his heart and fed every bitter beat to him. “Good night.” She and Russ disappeared into her room. When Ash looked at Brian, the man shrugged.
“You’re doing what you think is right. She’s a fierce, fierce woman.”
Ash huffed a laugh, then decided his pacing wasn’t helping him get calm, so he hunkered down on Riley’s other side, where his nephew and lab partner had made space for him in their “tent” as they’d called it.
“You can have the couch. Or hell, take Riley’s room.”
Brian moved to the sofa with a muttered thanks, and just when Ash was about to drift off, he spoke, “If you need help tying her up, I’ll hold her down.”
In the darkness, Ash smiled ruefully.
5
CHAPTER FIVE
Day 4
Outside Denver, Colorado
* * *
Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.
—Martin Luther King, Jr.