by AJ Rose
“I’ll be the judge of that,” Elliot murmured. But he flipped open his sleeping bag and spread his arms, inviting Ash to join him, his eyes full of contrasting heat and wariness. Ash hated that he’d put that look on Elliot’s face.
Scrambling from Brian’s sleeping bag, Ash stooped, pulling off his boxer briefs before settling beside Elliot in his bedding. His erection got a shock in the chilly air, but the warmth of the body beside him kept him from flagging entirely. He cupped Elliot through his underwear, wanting to rip them off but not daring to be so pushy. Instead, he rubbed his palm across Elliot’s hardness and pushed his face into the crook of Elliot’s neck, mouthing the skin. Elliot tasted clean, the sweat and grime from walking in rising temperatures banished by a swim the group had indulged in after dinner to bathe. He nosed behind Elliot’s ear and breathed hotly over the shell.
“Make the dark not matter,” he said, parroting Elliot’s words from Charlotte’s house. “Just for a little while.”
Elliot shuddered and fully embraced him, rolling him to his back as well as he could in the tight space. Ash slipped his hands into the back of Elliot’s underwear and squeezed his ass. God, he wanted to fuck him again, but he didn’t know if Elliot would allow it. For the first time in their acquaintance, Ash was the one wanting more, unsure if his feelings were reciprocated. It was an uncomfortable, vulnerable feeling, one he was nearly overwhelmed by, and he immediately regretted how many ways he’d held Elliot at arm’s length.
In apology, he kissed Elliot fervently, rutting against the cotton front of his underwear, raising his legs so Elliot slotted between them, as close as he could get. The idea of bottoming briefly flitted across his mind, and once again, he found himself considering it.
“When we get to safety and have some time and privacy, I want to try you fucking me,” he said before he could chicken out. Elliot pulled back, looking at him in genuine surprise. Ash didn’t like the distance between them, so he grabbed Elliot to bring them flush again, rocking his hips harder, closing his eyes so he didn’t have to endure the scrutiny.
“I didn’t know you bottomed,” Elliot whispered, lowering his forehead to Ash’s shoulder. His hot breath on Ash’s skin drove him crazy with need, but he held himself in check. Elliot was the skittish one this time, the one holding back, and Ash didn’t want to piss him off.
“I don’t,” Ash answered. “Tried it once and hated it, but it could have been the guy I was with. Maybe I’m a slut for it and just don’t know it.”
Elliot huffed a laugh and licked his collarbone. The heat in Ash’s belly coiled, Elliot’s tongue breaking his resolve to push. He snapped like a glow stick, his need seeping through his limbs to light him up. He yanked Elliot’s underwear down his ass and fingered along his crack, wanting to sink into that warmth and hold the guy close when they came, swallowing his moans and pleas for more with kisses and promises to always be there. His arousal was the one thing that kept him going, kept him from examining those thoughts too closely.
“God, do something, Elliot. Please.”
Elliot put his hand over Ash’s mouth. “Shhh, you’re getting loud. You want Brian to hear us?”
“Brian knows, El,” Ash said, muffled behind Elliot’s palm. “I don’t think he’d have sent me in here to watch over you if he wasn’t sure you’d welcome it. If he doesn’t know details, he suspects.”
Elliot went still. “Maybe I should tell him, so he doesn’t have to guess.”
Ash nodded, those words sending shivers across his skin, featherlight touches designed to tickle and promise. “Maybe I should tell my sister,” he offered.
Elliot swallowed audibly. “If you want.”
It was as close to permission as he could have hoped for, and a crack inside him mended itself. He hadn’t broken them entirely when he’d pushed Elliot away. He was being given another chance. To his shock, his eyes prickled, and he closed them, burying his face in Elliot’s shoulder and heaving a deep breath to calm himself.
Elliot reached between them and fondled his balls, hefting them and gently squeezing, then slid up Ash’s dick to grip it. Ash had to bite back a moan and barely managed it. Brian may have known, but if they got too loud, the others would, too. Telling Charlotte about them was perfectly fine, but having Jason and Tim know? Probably not wise. He wasn’t sure about Aaron and Jennifer, though some of the comments Aaron had made throughout the day made him think the guy was pretty accepting.
“Please,” he whispered, releasing a pent-up breath designed to muffle his noise. “Need you.”
“How?” Elliot asked.
“Inside you,” Ash panted.
“No,” Elliot said, a touch stern. “I’m not that easy anymore, Ash, no matter how much you need the comfort.”
The words banked his fire to mere glowing embers, and he cupped Elliot’s cheek. “I never thought you were easy,” he said. “I never meant to make you feel that way.”
Elliot looked distinctly uncomfortable, his hips slowing to a stop. “Then why was it so easy for you to walk away?”
“It wasn’t,” Ash answered immediately. “I failed. I’m here, asking for another chance because I can’t walk away from you, Elliot.”
He suffered the scrutiny Elliot required to believe him, let off the hook only when Elliot kissed him. But this kiss told Ash everything he needed to know, the hesitancy gone from the sweep of Elliot’s tongue. He wrapped around the wiry body against him, rubbing his cock along Elliot’s, the head catching on the edge of his waistband.
This time, when Elliot’s hand slid between them, it bypassed Ash’s aching hard-on and dipped into the space behind his balls, pressing into the sensitive skin. He widened his legs and arched his back, the sensation foreign enough to excite him even as the intention behind it worried him. They didn’t have the space or the seclusion for this, but he wasn’t about to stop Elliot now. Not when he’d just got him where he wanted him.
The tip of Elliot’s finger tapped at his hole, and Ash huffed, self-conscious and more glad for their earlier swim than ever. “I don’t know if I can do it here,” he admitted. “Not enough room, and I might not be all that quiet.”
“That’s okay.” Elliot took his hand away and brought it to his mouth, pushing his middle finger inside and sucking, making a show of swirling his tongue around the digit, wetting it before extracting it. “It doesn’t have to be my dick to show you if you’re a bottom.”
The pressure on Ash’s asshole was back and more intense as Elliot slipped his slick finger inside him. The intrusion was uncomfortable, and Ash squirmed, knowing from being with others this was par for the course. It was supposed to get better. Elliot worked his finger deeper, but the sensation never morphed from foreign and awkward to pleasurable. Even when he brushed the pad of his finger over Ash’s prostate, all that happened was a jolt of intensified discomfort. Still, Ash gritted his teeth and willed himself to accept the invasion. This was Elliot. He wanted Elliot inside him. He cared about him, and he was well aware of Elliot’s feelings. If anyone would be the one to make him like bottoming, it would be this guy.
The pressure of a second finger was almost too much, but Ash pushed himself, hoping to relax his muscles enough to allow it. With two inside, just to the first knuckle, he couldn’t help it; he clamped down. His erection had deflated. Breathing as evenly as he could, Ash swallowed, a shudder tap-dancing in his gut.
“I don’t think I can,” he finally whispered, admitting defeat. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Elliot murmured, kissing him along his jaw.
“I want to. Maybe just not here.”
Elliot nodded against him, moving his mouth to his ear. “It’s not for everyone.”
Ash couldn’t answer, disappointment nearly overwhelming him, and he wanted to find the heat between them again. Needed to find it. “I want to suck you.” Elliot would be inside him in one form or another tonight.
When Elliot pulled away, vulnerability crashed over Ash, and he trie
d to quell it by stroking his dick, needing the burn of arousal to consume the nerves. He licked his palm and gripped himself again as Elliot shucked his underwear.
“Sit on my chest,” he instructed.
Elliot complied, and Ash kept one arm free while Elliot hovered over him, his stroking arm trapped to his side by Elliot’s thigh. Gripping the globe of Elliot’s ass with the unoccupied hand, he urged him forward and captured Elliot’s cock with his lips. The musky scent was an aphrodisiac when he needed it most, and he opened wide and urged Elliot to push to the back of his throat.
Huffing out a startled breath, Elliot experimentally pumped his hips and Ash encouraged it, squeezing the butt cheek in his hand and letting out a quiet groan. With his tongue, he pressed Elliot’s shaft against his palate and sucked hard.
“Oh god,” Elliot whispered, thrusting less tentatively. Ash kept the pressure, moving his hand to Elliot’s crack and stroking over Elliot’s hole.
Elliot’s reaction to the touch was the opposite of Ash’s, reaching behind him with a hand to spread his ass open. Ash took that as an invitation and pushed a dry finger into Elliot’s sphincter so when Elliot pumped his hips, he’d fuck his finger and his mouth. When Elliot’s pace picked up, Ash speared him with two fingers, rewarded with a breathy moan. The hairless, wrinkled skin of Elliot’s nut sack brushed his chin as Ash took him deep.
This was the intimacy he was searching for, the closeness he craved that Elliot’s penetrating fingers had chased away. He wanted to urge Elliot to move faster, but he wasn’t willing to let him out of his mouth long enough to say the words. Instead, he pushed his fingers into Elliot’s ass as far as he could and crooked them, a come hither gesture inside that sparked Elliot’s prostate. For the first time, Elliot lost control and pumped hard into his mouth.
Yes, give it to me, Ash thought, speeding up the hand on his cock. The sound seemed to cut through Elliot’s pleasure fog to realize Ash wanted him to use his mouth that way, so he complied. A few minutes of piston-pumping his hips, and Elliot was losing all shreds of control. His moans were louder, his dick sliding in farther, his face open and ecstatic with abandon.
He’s beautiful. Nerdy hipster beautiful. Ash marveled at how that turned him on and his orgasm blindsided him, burning from his gut and out his dick almost before he realized he was going to come. The first couple of pulses hit Elliot’s back just above his ass crack and slid between his cheeks and onto Ash’s fingers as they sank into the heat of Elliot’s body.
Ash froze, not sure if Elliot was aware he had come in his ass. He didn’t seem to be, because his movements didn’t slow. If anything, they sped up. Ash continued to spasm his completion, and he used the hand no longer holding his cock to try and wipe the jizz out of Elliot’s crack so there would be minimal penetration. He knew he was in the clear, but Elliot didn’t, and Ash didn’t want to give him any more reason to stress out.
Oh god, he’s going to fucking flip and then have a seizure, and it’ll be all my fault.
The salty, bitter taste of Elliot’s spunk hit the back of his throat, and Elliot dragged the whisper of Ash’s name out of the depths of his lungs, the thump of climax making his cock dance on Ash’s tongue. It was hot, and Ash let himself savor it, knowing the moment would shatter when Elliot’s awareness returned.
He studied Elliot’s face fervently as the softened prick slid from his mouth. Ash licked his lips and pulled his fingers from Elliot’s hole. There had to be no doubt in Elliot’s mind what that sticky slickness was between his cheeks. To his surprise, Elliot shifted to kiss him with an unexpected intensity, and even as they shared Elliot’s taste between them, Ash wanted to speak.
“Elliot,” he murmured between swipes of Elliot’s tongue. “Hey.”
Elliot ignored him, laying flat out, smearing the come on Ash’s stomach into their skin. He kept the kiss going, lingering, licking into his mouth as if the goal weren’t the kiss but the taste of it.
Finally, their lips parted and Ash waited for Elliot to say something. Anything. “I’m sorry,” was on his tongue when Elliot spoke first.
“Incredible.”
“Elliot….”
“I know, Ash,” Elliot answered gently, laying his head on Ash’s shoulder. They’d lost the sleeping bag covering in their need to seek release, and Ash was grateful for his warmth, but Elliot had to be cold. “Your come is inside me.”
Ash swallowed and nodded, waiting for the panic to hit his partner. It didn’t happen. “I’m clear,” he promised. “Got tested at the beginning of the month. I’d show you the results, but they’re back in New York.”
“I believe you,” Elliot said simply, nuzzling his neck. “I’ve only ever been with you, so I’m clear, too.”
“You believe me?” Ash asked incredulously. “Just like that?” Then the import of Elliot’s words struck him. “You mean you were a virgin when I met you?”
Elliot rolled to the side and snagged the sleeping bag to cover them, apparently not caring if Ash’s mess got on the lining. “Is that a problem?” He propped his head on his bicep, looking at Ash with an innocence that was endearing, beguiling, and almost infuriating.
Ash turned on his side and cupped Elliot’s face. “No,” he said softly, stroking his thumb along Elliot’s cheekbone. “I wish you’d told me, but of course it’s not a problem.”
“If I’d told you I’d never done anything more than a furtive handjob with a closeted friend in high school, you’d have run away screaming.”
He wasn’t wrong. Ash wouldn’t have wanted to shoulder that responsibility had he known. “Still, you shouldn’t just believe people when they tell you they’re clear.”
Elliot raised a brow. “Are you lying?”
“No, but—”
“Are you going to fuck anyone else behind my back?”
“Not exactly a lot of options even if I wanted them, which I don’t. So no.”
“Then it’s fine. We should probably save the condoms for rainwater anyway. I didn’t pack the pre-lubed ones from Charlotte’s. After my seizure, I didn’t think of it, and we left in too big a hurry for me to remember.”
The practicality in Elliot’s tone had Ash off balance, until the image of him sliding bare into Elliot’s ass made his cock twitch, and his thoughts derailed into naughtyland. Elliot brought him back with a gentle kiss.
“Are you better now?”
Ash blinked. “Huh?”
“You came in here all wound up with the excuse Brian wanted you to watch over me, but it was really because you were crawling out of your skin, wasn’t it?”
He spluttered. “No! Brian really did tell me to come in here.”
“Sure,” Elliot smiled, obviously not buying it. “And you wanted to relax me with your magic peen, so my stress from dickweed Jason would ease, is that right?”
Ash buried his face in the shirt Elliot had been using as a pillow to keep his laughter from ringing too loud in the stillness beyond the tent. When he had himself under control, he grabbed Elliot, wrapping arms and legs around him despite Elliot’s squawk of protest.
“You’re a little shit.”
They were silent for a long while, and Ash started drifting off, the warmth of Elliot tucked in his side a solid, soothing reassurance. Elliot brought him back to the surface with sleepy words.
“It worked.”
“What did?” he murmured, keeping his eyes closed.
“Your magic dick.”
“Elliot?”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up and go to sleep.”
14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Day 20
Laramie Mountains, 50 miles west of Fort Collins, Colorado
* * *
I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.
—Og Mandino
* * *
“YOU’RE TOO LOUD,” Donnie snapped at Chris. “I thought you were supposed to be the sneaky one.”
“That wasn’t me!” Chris protested, his attentive gaze penetrating the trees.
“Then what was it?” Donnie demanded in a harsh whisper.
Chris pointed to a young buck farther up the trail, foraging for food and unaware of their presence. Or it had been until Donnie said something. The buck turned and crashed through the foliage. They listened until the sound faded.
“You’re both too loud,” Ness said calmly. “Hand signals, man. If you need to bitch at each other, learn fucking sign language.”
Chris glared at him for getting them in trouble, but Donnie didn’t care. He was past the point of giving a shit what would upset Chris, given how his best friend didn’t seem to care Donnie was upset, too. Chris still hadn’t spilled the beans about what bothered him, and in the last couple days he’d become more sullen. Donnie was in full make-Chris-blow mode, which had been complicated by their assignment. Hard to start a fight when they were supposed to be invisible.
Donnie got his frustration under control and crept forward, looking over the ridge to their left for a good spot to settle in and observe the trail. They’d been helicoptered into the mountains fifty or so miles west of Fort Collins and a few miles north of State Highway 14. There weren’t many roads cutting through from east to west, and there were patrol teams who needed to watch them all, but there were also teams stationed a few miles to either side of the highways in case people tried to cross on foot. Trails were their best bets to catch border jumpers. Anyone who tried to cross without following a trail was very likely going to die before they could make it, so survival of the fittest took care of them before Shockwave had to.
They’d been in the mountains for two days, and this was the first opportunity they’d had to put into practice the crash course they’d gotten from the rangers at the small base camp where they’d been dropped off. The rangers had given them pointers and the use of ghillie suits.
“The people trying to cross to the west know they’re not supposed to, so they’re sneaky,” Greg, the ranger squad’s leader, had told them. “If they’ve strayed from roads to the trails, they’re hoping to get past us. You can probably get away with a little face paint and your regular gear, but it’s kind of fun to jump out at them looking like monsters. One guy wet himself, not realizing we weren’t a family of Bigfoots.”