by AJ Rose
Elliot shook himself. That was behind them now. They’d resupplied, gotten fresh equipment and hiking boots for everyone, and were well on their way to seeing the last of this hellish journey. He’d had no more absence seizures.
“A few more days,” he murmured. The others assented quietly, a peace coming over them they hadn’t known in weeks. “Tomorrow, the mountains, right?”
“Yep,” Ash said, wadding up his empty food pouch. He’d broken out the lemonade flavoring, and despite the unappetizing sound of dessert, the sweet smell of cinnamon apples permeated the air as the boiling water did its thing to reanimate it. Elliot found himself looking forward to the splurge they hadn’t allowed themselves at all on this trip, no matter how repulsive it sounded.
After dessert, everyone retired for the night, but though he was exhausted, Elliot couldn’t sleep. Beside him, Ash breathed deeply, his hair a mess over his forehead. Ghost chuffed in his corner of the tent. Since the night of the storm, they’d decided if the dog wanted to sleep closer, he could. What was a little more cuddling to make room for another warm body anyway?
Something outside made soft, rhythmic noises, and Elliot strained to hear in case some woodland creature decided to surprise them. But the sound accompanied a groan and a murmured name in a woman’s voice. Elliot smiled in the darkness. Apparently the peace was enough to relax everyone, and in particular, Aaron and Jennifer. He tuned them out as best he could, rolling to his side to study Ash’s face.
I should tell him, he thought, resisting tracing the straight line of Ash’s nose or brushing his hair back. Ash was a fairly light sleeper, and he needed the rest. A touch was guaranteed to disturb him. Elliot’s thoughts wandered to making plans for after they got to Seattle. He imagined Uncle Marvin living on a secluded piece of land overlooking water, and let his mind meander to hunting with Ash and picturing sunrises and sunsets, peace and nature, and no power worries. He’d wanted Ash to prefer he stay for reasons besides Elliot wanting to, but why would he, if Elliot had held himself in reserve the entire time? Yeah, they’d fucked, and they had great chemistry, and they were affectionate when no one was looking, but how was that much different than when they’d been at school?
He’s not going out on a limb if I don’t, too. As far as Ash knew, Elliot was simply doing what Ash was—enjoying his company and taking comfort from human contact. Yeah, Ash liked him, and he’d said so. But the reality was Elliot had fallen and fallen hard for Asher Caine, and it was about fucking time Ash knew it.
Even if it burdens him because of my seizures. I have nothing to lose. Though he knew that wasn’t true. If he spoke up and Ash couldn’t handle it, Elliot would lose someone who’d become a lifeline. Still, his resolve deepened even as sleep began to steal over him.
In the morning, with the sky only just pinking up, the group had woken more enthusiastic than usual, as though the energy they’d need to cross the mountains had been supplied by little gnomes in the night. Elliot honestly thought it was the relief that the end was in sight. They chattered as they broke down camp, and even Riley was laughing.
“Charlotte, your son is going to have a hell of a tale to tell his kids,” Elliot said, stuffing his sleeping bag in its nylon casing.
“Don’t I know it? When it’s time to teach him to drive, he’s going to say, ‘Mom, I handled Nebraska. I can do anything.’” She chuckled and ruffled Riley’s hair. “Yes you did, kid. And I’m proud of you.”
“Hey, thanks for getting that bottle of Tums for Jenn in Laramie,” Aaron put in. “She swears this baby is lying in magma, not amniotic fluid.”
“Okay, gross,” Ash said. “But you’re welcome. No need to suffer unnecessarily.”
“I feel lots better,” Jenn agreed.
Elliot couldn’t suppress a secret smile. Yes you do, sweetheart.
They were gonna make it. He could feel it, and the day proved him right as they passed uneventfully into Medicine Bow National Forest. They planned to go south of Rock Creek Ridge until they reached Sand Lake, then northwest out of the forest and into the flattest area of Wyoming, from what they could tell on the map. Ash had debated getting off Uncle Marvin’s coordinates again, because the map showed flatter land elsewhere, but the group had vetoed that idea. Last time they’d strayed, they’d lost a man.
In early evening, they found a small clearing beside a creek right after crossing Highway 101 and decided to call it good. Though they hadn’t traveled as far as a regular day, the increasing elevation wore them out, and Elliot groaned when he sat down on a fallen tree.
Over a dinner of rabbit stewed in a vegetable broth Charlotte had made with their newly acquired provisions, mushrooms, and a few berries picked along the way, they planned the next day.
“I don’t want to rush,” Ash said. “If we do, someone’s more liable to get hurt in the mountains, so I say tomorrow, we sleep in if we want. Maybe we can get our hunting done early. We’re going to need more stealth the farther west we go. We don’t know where the border between power and no power is, and I guarantee you, someone’s watching that line.”
“You’re probably right,” Aaron agreed. “If we can shoot a deer and spend tomorrow curing meat, we’ll be able to ration our emergency stash of food pouches so when we get to higher elevations, we can concentrate on moving forward. And before we separate once we reach power,” he began, “I want you, Riley, to teach me how to set those snares you’ve gotten so good at. Cool?”
“Cool,” Riley said with a nod.
“We should probably wash our clothes, too,” Charlotte said. “Now that we have new ones to put on, the old ones could stand a good cleaning.”
Jennifer sniffed her shoulder. “Or a good burning.”
They finished dinner and cleanup, and Riley instructed Jennifer and Aaron, and a somewhat less interested Tim, how to set up the snares he’d perfected while they still had sunlight to see by. Aaron clapped him on the shoulder when he released them to practice on their own.
“Hey, I have a question,” Tim asked. “How much weight does this snare wire hold?”
Riley furrowed his brow. “I don’t know. It’s good enough for rabbits and squirrels.”
“So you haven’t caught anything bigger, like a fox or coyote?” He pointed to Ghost, who was lounging in the shade away from the warmth of the fire. “Like the dog’s size?”
Elliot stiffened, and Riley looked at the dog uncertainly. “No, I haven’t. I guess they’re not interested in the bait.”
“I bet if we use a piece of meat, we could get something bigger,” Tim said. “Is there any rabbit left over?”
“We ate it all,” Elliot answered, trying to keep his tone light. But he didn’t like the way Tim had pointed at Ghost.
“That’s a shame. Is anyone else sick of the same kinds of meat over and over?”
Aaron shrugged. “Back home, we’d eat beef, pork, and chicken pretty regularly. That’s the same kind of meat over and over, and I don’t remember getting all that tired of it.”
“I guess. When we get to a place with power, I’m going to park myself at a restaurant, if there are any open, and eat nothing but nachos and grilled cheese and cake and all the things I’ve missed out here. I want a steak. Maybe a burrito. Oh my god, Mexican food.”
Elliot let himself laugh. It was the first they’d heard Tim talk about doing anything in his future that didn’t entail getting back to Nebraska to carry out some elaborate revenge plot on the psycho landowner. Frankly, it was nice to hear.
“Pizza,” he offered.
Tim groaned and closed his eyes.
“Donuts,” Riley chimed in, forgetting what had started the conversation.
“Anything chocolate,” Charlotte grumbled. “Hey, why don’t you all gather your clothes for me to wash, and I’ll make a morning of it.”
They split off to their own tasks and tents, and as Elliot passed as close to Tim as he’d done in days, he tentatively put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.
“We�
��ll be okay,” he assured him. Tim looked at him with inscrutable eyes and after a pause, nodded. But he didn’t sneer, and he didn’t smack Elliot’s hand away, so it was a win. Maybe the mountains were good even for Tim. It was hard to see anything but beauty in their surroundings.
Their forty-seventh day dawned with a chorus of birds chirping and the sounds of Riley’s laughter. Elliot made quick work of brushing his teeth. Ash emerged from the tent in a t-shirt and fresh jeans, new hiking boots on his feet. He studied them, then peered at Elliot from under his brow. He was so boyish and handsome in that moment, with the early morning sun dappling his hair, Elliot had to resist the urge to kiss him silly.
“Nothing like a new pair of shoes.” Ash strode over to where Elliot sat on the fallen tree, cleaning one of the rifles. “You take a look at that yet?” He pointed to the bow and arrows he’d acquired from the camp store in Laramie.
“No,” Elliot said. “I didn’t want to start the day off shooting myself in the foot.”
“It’ll be quieter than the guns. Maybe we can get a deer without scaring the rest of the animals off.” He lifted the contraption and tested the tension, closing one eye and aiming without an arrow nocked on the string.
“I’d probably just hurt myself, snap the string on my face or something. Plus, I’d have to take off my glasses.”
“Yeah, you should stick with what you know. We can practice at Uncle Marvin’s.” Ash lowered himself to the log and held out his hands so Elliot could lay pieces of the unassembled gun in them. This was routine, something they’d done together dozens of times, and they fell into companionable silence. Aaron, Jennifer, and Tim crawled free of their tents and stretched.
“Well rested?” Ash asked. “You could have slept longer. It’s not even eight yet.”
“Something about the crisp air makes it hard to sleep in,” Jennifer answered. “I’d feel too lazy.”
“I’m not a fan of lounging in that tent,” Tim grumbled, hauling himself off to the trees, presumably to handle his bladder.
Aaron frowned after him. “I offered to switch with him.”
“He’s stubborn,” Jennifer said with a pat to Aaron’s chest.
“I think Elliot and I are going to pair off to get some hunting done. Charlotte was talking about washing clothes, and Brian and Riley were making bets on who could catch the biggest fish. What are you guys going to do today?”
Aaron sucked in a big breath. “Damn, that feels good. I think Jennifer, Tim, and I are going to try our hand at Riley’s snares. Tim got me thinking last night that if we catch something small first, we can try to use it as bait for something bigger. The more meat we dry today, the longer we can last in the mountains if we have to.”
“Well, we will still be able to hunt, but if we don’t have to take time for that, we can walk farther,” Ash speculated. “Worth a shot.”
They regrouped over a breakfast of freeze-dried eggs and then scattered to their various tasks for the day. Elliot briefly wondered if someone shouldn’t stay and watch their stuff, but really, they hadn’t seen a soul in over a week. There was no one left to worry about, considering they were far from anywhere remotely urban. Who was going to steal it?
Elliot ordered Ghost to go with Brian and Riley, thinking he’d be harder to camouflage while they stalked game, so it was just him and Ash setting off into the trees in the direction opposite the creek. They walked south for several minutes, and Elliot’s stomach turned over as he thought about what he wanted to say. It was likely his only opportunity to talk to Ash until they retired for the night, and despite feeling buoyed by the promise of civilization in just days, Elliot’s sense of time running out was growing, not fading.
Ash held up a hand to halt him and peered into the trees on the trail ahead of them. Twigs snapped and a deer, a young doe, stepped into view, her mouth moving as she munched. Every time she dipped her head for more foliage, she disappeared. They didn’t have the best angle so Ash put his finger to his lips and carefully moved a few steps farther up the trail. Whisper quiet, he nocked an arrow and aimed, closed one eye, and loosed.
He missed.
As the deer crashed away through the underbrush, Ash cursed. “It’s a lot harder than it ever looked on TV.”
Elliot grinned. “Of course it is. TV will rot your brain.”
“Not anymore,” Ash quipped.
They continued for several more minutes until they spotted another deer, this one a buck with a smallish rack, only four points. This time, Ash motioned him to stand beside him on a fortuitously wide section of the trail, and they both took aim. If Ash missed, Elliot could try for it as it fled.
But Ash didn’t miss. The arrow flew true and hit the deer in the heart, felling it with a crash followed by thunderous silence. They approached cautiously in case the animal wasn’t quite dead, but there was no reason to worry. Its beautiful flank was still, and the last plant it had plucked feathered out of its mouth, unmoving.
With a grin, Ash passed Elliot the bow and took off the quiver of arrows before situating the animal across his shoulders, legs forward so he could walk and hold it steady with both hands. He made sure to keep the bloody side up so as not to trash his new t-shirt. Elliot slipped into the quiver straps and followed him toward their camp. Even though he hadn’t been the one to take the deer down, a quiet sense of accomplishment stole over him.
“Ash,” he said as they walked, deciding it was now or never. “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”
“Yeah?”
Okay, so maybe that they weren’t looking at each other sucked, but Elliot took a deep breath anyway. “Remember when you said I have the choice to stay with you when we reach your uncle’s, and I said I wanted to because my parents don’t exactly listen to me?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, there’s kind of another reason.”
“What’s that?”
“This last month, after everything that’s happened to us, it feels wrong to split up. Aaron and Jennifer going off to Oregon is going to suck.”
“I hear that. I like them.”
“But even if it were just the two of us, I wouldn’t want to go anywhere but where you’re going. See, where everything else has been out of control, you’ve kept me calm. Sang to me when I needed it. Watched over me, protected me.” Now he was rambling and needed to get to the fucking point. “And I’m not saying I’d stay with you only because of that, because it’s not true. Well, not entirely true. But you know what I mean, we’re… friends now.”
“Of course we are,” Ash said, moving steadily along.
“Back in school, it was a convenient arrangement for both of us. What I’m trying to say is that our… relationship had grown. Become something more.”
“I hope so,” Ash said, his tone wry. “Considering what we get up to at night.”
“Can you be serious for a minute? I’m trying to tell you something here, and it’s not easy.”
Through the brush ahead, Elliot could see the bright blue of one of the tents and someone moving around at camp, so he only had seconds.
Ash stopped and turned, looking at him around the curved leg of the deer. “Okay, I’m being serious.”
“We’ve… gotten closer, I think, and I need….” He sighed and wished his hands weren’t full so he could run his fingers through his hair. He plunged on. “I’m in love with you.”
Ash raised both brows, a slow smile spreading over his lips. “And you would stay with me no matter who was with us or where we end up because of that?”
“That’s what I’m trying to say.” Elliot wished he could stop shaking, and he made sure to move his fingers well away from the trigger of the rifle.
Ash opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by his sister’s shouting.
“What the fucking hell?”
They turned and crashed the rest of the way along the trail, the deer bouncing across Ash’s shoulders in front of Elliot’s face like a macabre, overstuffed
scarf. When they reached their encampment, they spotted Charlotte with a pile of wet clothes at her feet, staring around in disbelief.
The camp was annihilated. The breeze fluttered strips of their tents hanging from the tent pole skeletons, and tufts of sleeping bag stuffing rolled along like cotton tumbleweeds. The packs lay like war casualties, their innards trailing from holes in the rough canvas as if they’d actually been disemboweled. The lone fishing pole Brian and Riley hadn’t taken was snapped into several pieces, and the tatters of everything flapped and waved in near silent taunting. There was no one else but Charlotte in sight. The others must not have heard her shout.
Elliot helped Ash lower the deer to a patch of grass and then they walked around, assessing the damage.
“This is bad,” Charlotte said, fear creeping into her voice. “This is really fucking bad.”
“Now hold on,” Ash said, trying to keep her calm with a motion of his hands. “There’s no need to flip out just yet.”
Elliot held up one of the backpacks. The entire bottom had been ripped out.
“Oh really?” Charlotte pointed in his direction. “Even if something survived, we have nothing to carry it in. The nearest town is more than a day’s hike back the way we came, and you said you pretty much cleaned them out of food.” Her voice rose the more she realized how bleak this was.
“I just caught food,” Ash pointed to the deer.
“And how the fuck are we going to dress it without a knife!” she hollered, hysteria building. “How are we going to light the fire again without matches?”
Elliot cast about at the destruction and noted that yes, all that seemed to be left were the pots and none of the items they’d used to gather more food or cook it. Something suddenly occurred to him. The figure he’d seen through the trees a minute ago hadn’t been Charlotte. They’d almost interrupted the guy. Blood drained from his face.
“The other guns.”
Ash glanced up, startled. “You have one rifle. Still have the Colt on you?” Elliot nodded. He didn’t go anywhere without it anymore. “Charlotte, I gave you the other Colt, and Aaron took the Browning rifle. So we have them all, except maybe the gun Brian got in Indiana.”