“Whoa … whoa … whoa! Now what the hell did I miss?” Rex shouts, breaking my train of thought. He takes a few steps back from the bar, eyes wide in astonishment. If Rex was surprised before, our witty banter just now left his head spinning.
Evelyn throws her head back, laughing at his comment, making me notice once again the unintentional way she captivates everyone’s attention in the room. Every ounce of this woman is alluring, and I would do anything for the chance to explore every bit of her further. All night long and well into the morning hours.
Rex’s brother Trevor has made his way over to the group during our conversation and takes the empty seat on the other side of Evelyn. I watch as Trevor seems to respond the same way I do to her charm. I can’t deny the jealous tug that immediately starts to build inside of me as I question what the hell this is.
Back off, Trev!
If I would have known this little brat was all over trying to get a piece of her too, I would have never declined a dinner invitation making sure to have staked my claim a long ass time ago. The thought alone startles me because it’s been a very long time since I have let any woman have any kind of effect over me.
“Don’t get too excited,” She giggles. “Nothing like what you would consider wild and crazy, Rex. He saved me from … shall we say … your typical bar rat …” She looks at me for confirmation, to which I nod and watch as Trevor scoots his chair a little bit too close to her for my liking.
“You know,” she continues, “the type that can’t keep their hands off. Thinks no means yes and that every girl is asking for it.”
I close my eyes and remember the encounter well. The surge I felt to protect her then and the unexplainable draw to her, I still feel now, returning and growing with each passing moment.
“Want another one, Sis?” Evelyn’s brother asks. She nods, and I watch as she finishes her drink. She pulls a cherry out from a dish on the bar and plops it in her mouth. As her mouth closes around the stem, I fight the urge to push her back against the bar and taste the cherry flavor on her tongue. The thought makes me more aroused than I already am, and I have to turn away slightly to gather my thoughts.
“I would have saved you,” Trevor mumbles under his breath, low enough to only be intended for Evelyn’s ears but loud enough for me to hear it as well. The comment jolts me back to the present as I turn towards the two of them. She smiles at him and Trevor longingly smiles back.
Yup, it’s confirmed. This guy thinks he can just roll up and stake claim to what I intend to make mine. Game on. Sorry Trev, this is one time I will make sure in every way I can that you don’t have a chance.
“So how’s business?” Evelyn asks Rex and Michael.
Her brother and Rex had opened a nightclub in Auburn about a year ago when Rex and I returned home from Kentucky. The two of them had always talked about going into business together, and now that they both have degrees, and money isn’t an issue due to their well-off family names, they pursued their childhood dream and recently opened up one of the biggest watering holes for singles this side of the Mississippi river.
Gatsby’s sits on top of a large hill in Old Town Auburn. It’s an upscale lounge made to look vintage with an art deco edge. As if the town of Auburn always needed and wanted a place like Gatsby’s, the club’s popularity came quick, and word spread through Auburn and neighboring towns fast. Anybody who wanted to be seen and known about town flocked to Gatsby’s on a regular if not almost nightly, drinking and schmoozing their nights away in a way that would make even Gatsby himself proud.
I made it a point not to frequent there often. I’d heard enough stories from Rex, when he pulled himself home in the early morning hours, to know that it wasn’t anywhere I needed or rather wanted to be.
“I still love that you took the name I suggested,” Evelyn says. “It’s masculine with just enough lustful edge.”
“Anything to make the ladies lustful,” Rex jokes. “There was this one that came in the other night with the biggest ass and perfect—”
“OK, on another note,” Evelyn loudly interrupts, making Rex laugh.
“Business is great as always,” Michael interjects. “We’re about to have our first holiday season. We’ve planned a lot of special events. It should be impressive. Maybe you should write about it. Put it in the paper and help your brother out!”
“We’ll talk this week, and I’ll get the details. We have the next edition of the magazine coming up too, and I know Rob has been wanting to create more articles to bring in younger readers. I’m sure he would be all over it,” Evelyn suggests.
“Wait, you’re a writer?” I ask, intrigued and slightly turned on the more I learn about her life. A writer’s sexy. I can imagine her in glasses, clicking away on her keyboard, deep in thought late at night and writing about things I know nothing about. I’ll gladly show her some things to help inspire her.
“I am. Majored in journalism. What’s your super power?” she jokes.
“I work best with my hands,” I tease, looking her deep in the eye then watch as her cheeks turn the loveliest shade of pink. She glances at my hands and has to be thinking what I’m thinking. I’d love to run them all over her body as much as she looks like she wants to feel them. Taking my time, I’d be sure to memorize every curve.
“Construction, mostly.” I laugh and see her wiggle in her seat, trying to regain her train of thought. “Mostly odd jobs to keep me and my hands busy,” I joke.
Leaning in, she whispers, “Maybe one day you can show me just how skilled your hands are.”
Holy hell. She has no idea. I’m seconds away from saying screw it and damn all the people in the room. I’ll show her just how these hands want to control that body of hers, but Rex cuts off my train of thought as he comes around the bar and pops open yet another beer. He does the same for Trevor, who is staring me down. If looks could kill, I’d be a dead man.
Man up, Trev. I don’t know your history here, but there is no way I am going to let you be her future.
“Noah here is still finishing up his degree online back at Ole Miss,” Rex fills Evelyn in. “We’re trying to get him to help with an addition at the club. He’s majoring in business and wants to open his own construction company, but we can’t talk him into sticking …”
“Hey, Michael,” I exclaim loudly. “Didn’t you say Amber’s parents might be needing to hire someone for an addition on their outdoor deck?”
I don’t know what has come over me. I’m sure Rex was about to mention me moving home. It’s not like I’ve changed my mind. No doubt about it, I’m moving back to Kentucky almost as soon as I can arrange for it. But for some reason I can’t quite understand, I don’t want Evelyn knowing. I want to keep that to myself, just a little bit longer.
Michael is about to respond when David, Evelyn’s father, returns to the bar and huddles around the back of Evelyn and Rex. Poking his head in the middle of our group’s endless chitchat, he looks at us with a wide lazy grin.
“Time to come and get it, kids. You don’t want to make that wife of mine angry. I’m not running interference for you this time,” he says.
I watch as all the “kids” in question quickly finish their drinks and stand, obviously ready to please in any way they can, especially if it means avoiding the wrath of Mrs. Cynthia Monroe. Even though this is my first time meeting the lady, she already makes me nervous enough to never want to step out of line.
Rex and Trevor head off first, and I notice Trevor looks back with jealousy as Evelyn stands up and walks alongside me. The air between us is electric. We fall into a comfortable silence. Every few steps, she glances my way. I haven’t taken my eyes off her once. She smiles at me every time our eyes meet, and when she does, it adds another layer to the endless sexual tension that’s been building between the two of us since yesterday.
Michael and Amber trail behind last. When we reach the doorway to the dining room, I pause and wait for Evelyn to pass through first. Half of the reason bei
ng my momma raised me to have good manners and the other, I’d be lying if it wasn’t also to stare at that beautiful body of hers. Every one of her curves has me salivating and licking my lips.
“Ladies first,” I say confidently as I place my hand on the small of her back and lead her through. I let my hand slip a little too far south and watch as she looks back at me, giving me a look that makes me dare to take it further. Who ever invented ladies first was definitely an ass man. My compliments to him as I watch the amazing view in front of me.
I feel a spark when I touch her—the same spark I first felt last night—and feel lucky as hell to have the opportunity to be able to feel again. Damnit, she has no clue just how bad I want her. All of her. The thought scares me as reality sets in that I promised myself I’d never again allow myself to feel like this.
“Chivalry. I like it,” she says, leaning back a little into my touch, and that right there is almost my undoing. I can hardly contain the urge to grab her right here with everyone watching and push her and that tiny excuse for a skirt up as I hold her against the door frame.
“I don’t get it,” Amber says from behind us, bringing my attention back to the present. “I thought your name was Noah? Who’s chivalry?”
Evelyn and I try to hide our laughs best we can, but they bubble over as we find our seats at the table. Michael looks embarrassed and quickly ushers his date away to find their seats as well. I settle in across the table from Evelyn and can’t tear my eyes away from hers to even notice the people setting platters of food on the table. Oh, I am hungry alright, but the only thing that can satisfy me is staring right back into my eyes and making me think nothing more than tasting and savoring every last drop of her like it’s my last meal.
Evelyn
It’s a very typical dinner in the Monroe house. My mother has hired help to cater to the family and our guests while they eat. I know my mother likes to do this for two reasons. One is to show off, and the other is she’s a traditionalist and secretly thinks times should have never changed. In her world, maids and hired help are always in style. After all, the help Cynthia Monroe hires assists her in maintaining her extremely organized, clean, prompt, everything-in-its-place lifestyle. There’s no way you’d see this type of woman running back and forth from the kitchen, waiting on her quests while also trying to play the perfect hostess. But that sure would be hysterical to watch.
I sit across from Noah, next to Amber. From time to time, I try and talk to my brother’s date, although the conversation never goes any further than one word responses. It’s hard to carry on a conversation with another person if they are incapable of even having one in the first place. Women like Amber, who are all body, typically have no brains to go along with it.
Occasionally, I look up at Noah to find him already staring back at me. I smile at him and he smiles even bigger. I wonder what he must be thinking because he never seems to take his eyes off of me long enough to eat his dinner.
His look is so intense I feel slightly nervous under his gaze. It’s like he’s slowly undressing me with his eyes. Licking his lips from time to time and making the room feel hotter and hotter with each moment our eyes make contact. Even though I don’t mind, it makes it hard for me to concentrate on anything other than the look he gives me and the way it makes me feel. Sexy, excited, and thinking about things way too racy for a family dinner party.
At times my gaze drifts over to Trevor, who sits next to Noah and seems to be growing more and more irritated. He fidgets in his seat every time Noah and I hold a stare, obviously upset at whatever might be between the two of us. If Trevor notices the spark between us, maybe everyone else does as well.
If our chemistry is so obvious it can’t be contained, even for a simple dinner, then maybe there is something more to the idea of Noah. Maybe this is something that I should pursue. After all, no one has ever made me feel the way Noah does, like an electric current is running through my veins, vibrating and pleasuring me in a way that becomes more and more addicting with each passing moment.
Imagining Noah and I taking things further fills me with an excitement I am not sure I have ever felt before. I haven’t been in a relationship with anyone in over a year and a half, and my last relationship ended as a result of it probably never should have started. I told the guy I had loved him, and we spent almost two years of our lives together. Although, the longer the relationship lasted, the more I wanted out of it. I finally came to the realization the reason I hadn’t ended it sooner was because of boredom. I came to the conclusion I was in love with the idea of love, but not actually in love with the man himself. When everything finally hit the fan, he agreed, and the two of us separated and never actually spoke again.
And although I sense a pattern with my love life, my ex and then Trevor, I sum it up to being focused and not allowing anything to derail or deter me from achieving my goals. Some things are non-negotiable.
Single life is refreshing. It allows self-growth, maturity and strength. I’m on a good path now and determined to see my dreams become reality. Noah might just be a curve ball that I am not sure I can handle. Taking things further might be too risky.
But then why do I feel myself already needing my next fix?
Looking up again and admiring the man across the table from me, I start to feel my resolve crumble and tiny barriers start breaking away. Maybe a little fun is ok? How bad could it be? As long as I don’t let my heart get too close, why can’t I explore all the ways he drives me mad with need just standing in the same room as him?
As dinner comes to a close, plates are cleared and coffee is set in front of those who want or need it. I start to feel antsy for the opportunity to be alone with Noah for the first time and quickly sip my coffee, watching as one by one people start to leave the table.
Noah still hasn’t gotten up. He’s in a lively conversation with Rex and has obviously said something hysterical because Rex almost shoots beer out of his nose laughing. I want to be in on their conversation, but they are talking too low on the other side of the table for me to even pick up the slightest bit of what’s so funny. Still, I keep my ear trained towards them, hoping to catch what I can.
“You all finished, Evelyn?” Trevor asks, startling me out of my day dream. I’d been so drawn to the conversation in front of me with Rex and Noah that I hadn’t noticed Trevor still sitting at the table.
“Yeah, sure am,” I reply, smiling, wanting to be polite but not wanting to give the impression that there could ever be anything between the two of us again.
“Your mom said she was going to have someone light up the fire pit on the back patio.” Trevor looks down at the table and then up again. It’s almost like he’s too shy and embarrassed to even look me in the eye, which is silly because we have known each other since we were kids.
“Want to go and see if it’s lit? We haven’t done that in years. I can grab you a blanket, and we can snag some drinks from the bar on our way,” he urgently and very silently asks, not wanting to be heard by the others at the table.
Normally on any other night I would have said no. Sitting around a fire pit, under a blanket, with drinks on a cool fall night is not your typical way of letting a guy know you’re not interested. However, the thought of leaving with Trevor makes me realize it might make Noah notice me once again.
“I’d love to,” I exclaim, rising from the table, as if Trevor has just suggested the greatest idea that I’d heard all evening.
Noah immediately breaks from speaking and watches as I round the table and walk out the room with Trevor. Rex is still talking, but it’s obvious that Noah hasn’t heard a single word.
Trevor must have been just as shocked as Noah. His mouth falls open at my response. Then he jumps from his seat so fast he turns his chair upside down. Quickly, he sets it back up straight and scrambles around the table to meet me, even having the guts to hold onto my arm as we exit the dining room and head towards the backyard. I’m tempted to look back and see Noah’s
face, but when playing a game, a true winner never lets the opponent sense any sort doubt.
As we reach the patio, Trevor’s nerves are at an all-time high. “You go sit. I’ll run and grab a few drinks and something to keep you warm,” he says, fumbling with his words.
“Actually, I’m kind of wined out. Could you just grab me some hot tea or something?” I plead as I try to slyly look past him to see if anyone has followed the two of us. Disappointment hits as I don’t see anyone in the shadows inside, and I try to hide it as I look back at Trevor, who is so obviously excited for this opportunity I’m quickly regretting.
“Of course, anything for you, Ev,” Trevor says endearingly. “I’ll grab the peppermint one you always drink. I won’t be long, I promise.” He backs up, falling over a chair, barely catching his footing before turning and almost breaking into a run. He doesn’t even notice the slider door is shut, but catches himself quickly by grabbing the handle and stepping inside trying to cover up his clumsiness.
I giggle under my breath. Even if I don’t like Trevor, he does mean well. He’s always so attentive, and I feel sorry for the guy because I will never feel the same. His attention has always felt like a blessing, somehow reaching me when I feel my lowest. It’s the very reason why I never completely say no but never wholeheartedly say yes either. It’s hard to turn down something that helps boost your self-esteem, even if you never intend for it to go anywhere further.
Fumbling with my iPhone, I decide music is what’s missing. The speakers had been turned off during dinner. Selecting a Frank Sinatra station on Pandora, I snuggle down in the chair, wrapping my arms around myself to keep warm until Trevor returns. My thoughts drift, and I began to wonder how long it will take for Noah to find his way out to the patio—or if he even will at all. Maybe he doesn’t play games and is on to my sudden schemes.
What if I made a mistake?
Fear and anxiety rise up inside, and my stomach starts to turn sour. Fidgeting in my seat, I debate going back inside and almost get up, but then I hear the slider door to the patio open. Great! I can’t leave now.
Indecision Page 6