Evelyn
When Noah leaves, I tell myself I can make it a few days without him, and I’m crazy if I think I can’t. People go a lot longer without one another and are perfectly fine. I almost have myself convinced, until he texts me saying he’s leaving the fire station. He tells me he might not get good reception up in the hills and would call when he could.
I fill with fear, realizing I haven’t even thought about not being able to talk to him. Not touching him or being with him is enough torture. Knowing he’s out in the fire, and I have possibly no way of contacting him, makes me feel sick. I feel all the joy for life I always carry leave my body, and soon I begin walking around in a haze of anticipation and worry for the man I’ve only just realized I love so much.
Sunday passes, and then Monday. Come Tuesday, I still haven’t heard from Noah and my anxiety is going through the roof. I need to hear his voice. I need to know he’s ok and not lying hurt or dead in the flames engulfing the hillsides just a few hours’ drive away.
I’m so consumed with concern for him that I call into work sick and tell my editor I will work from home. Instead of work, I find myself staring at the television, not even aware that I’ve been watching the same infomercial for two hours now and sill have no idea what the hell they are selling, my mind too consumed with worry.
My phone rings, pulling me out of my trance. I jump off the couch, grabbing it from the coffee table. Falling short I land on the floor instead. Gripping the top of the table, I hurriedly feel for my phone. Breathing out a breath I didn’t know I had been holding in since Sunday, I finally relax a little when the screen shows me one name.
Noah.
“Baby, baby is that you?” I ask into the phone. It still rings in my ear, and I realize I never accepted the call. Cursing myself out loud, I hit the green button and wait impatiently to hear his voice.
“Noah!” I shout. “Noah, are you there?”
“Hey, darlin’,” he says. Though the reception is weak, I’m so happy to finally be hearing his voice, I can’t help the tears that begin rolling down my face. I cover my mouth with my hand, scared to let him hear.
“Noah, are you ok? I’ve been waiting to hear from you for three days. You’ve had me so concerned. I’m new to this kind of thing, and I just couldn’t stop worrying about you!” I start rambling, unable to contain the words that tumble out before I can even stop myself. I don’t want to worry him with how much I’ve been concerned, but I need to know he’s ok. I find myself feeling protective in a way, and right now the only thing that matters is knowing he is alright.
“God, Ev, it’s so good to hear your voice,” he responds. He sounds tired, and I wish so badly I could be with him to help him in any way I can.
“When are you coming home?” I say, hoping I don’t sound as desperate as I feel.
“Not sure. We’re making progress, but not what they would like. I slept out by the fire the last two nights, taking shifts with the other workers. Tonight they let us go to a nearby hotel. Hopefully soon, though. God, darlin’, I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” I say in a whimper, starting to cry a little more but trying to hold back the tears I want to let flow. I’ve become so endeared to the way he calls me darlin’ in that deep southern drawl of his that it makes the distance between us hurt even more. I wish I could touch him, kiss him, be with him instead of being miles apart and missing him like crazy.
“I should be able to call you more now. We’re taking more regular shifts, and I should be coming in and out from the hotel every day,” he says, reassuring me. The few short days we were unable to talk obviously have taken a toll on him as well.
“I love you,” is all I can manage. I don’t know what to say. I want to say everything, but find those three words are everything I have to give, and somehow they seem perfect.
“Aww, darlin’, I love you too. I’m so tired. Rex is already asleep. He passed out the second we walked in the door. Didn’t even make it to the shower,” Noah says, somehow mustering up the energy for a small laugh.
I smile, listening to him. The sound of his laughter makes me feel closer to him somehow. I want to be as close to him as I can, and find a strange peace in the little things that make me feel this way in the time that we’re forced to spend apart—however long that will be.
“Do you need to go? I want you to get all the sleep you need? I don’t want you tired out there. Remember, you have to come back to me,” I laugh, teasing him and also feeling my heart pull at the thought of anything bad ever happening to him.
“Oh, I remember. Come back to you in one piece and then you’ll show me … what was it again?”
“I’d rather show you than tell you, Mr. Stewart,” I laugh. “So make sure you get yourself back here in one piece.”
The line fills with laughter, and I smile, knowing very well what we both have in mind. Even though his teasing is welcome, it makes the days we’re apart harder and the nights colder without his touch. After we had spent the night together before he left, I know no man would be able to satisfy me the way he did. I replay that night in my mind over and over again since he’s been gone. Each time making the need to be with him again more unbearable.
Everything I want, he gives. Everything I need, he provides. In perfect harmony, like we can read each other’s minds, he knows just how to please me. It’s perfection.
“I do need to get some sleep, though,” he regrettably informs me. “I’m headed out early tomorrow, and I can barely keep my eyes open. But I had to call and hear your voice. Every day we’ve been apart, there hasn’t been a second I haven’t thought about you … about us.”
“Me too,” I whisper. “Go sleep. We’ll talk later.”
The line is silent. A whole minute passes.
“Noah?” I ask into the receiver.
“Hmm,” comes a sleepy voice.
“Noah … you’re sleeping.” I giggle.
“No, I’m not … I just … wanted … to hear your voice,” he says, trailing off into sleep again.
“I’m here,” I whisper. “I’m here, Noah.”
His breathing deepens as silence fills the conversation. I don’t have the heart to hang up and find myself staying on the line, listening to him breathe just a little while longer. Any way I can be next to him, I want to be. In this moment, listening to him breathe calms all my nerves from the days before. I would take him anyway I can, even if that means listening to him sleep over the phone.
How he has managed to turn my life upside down and make it impossible to imagine life before, or after him, I will never know. I wait for that burn, that ache deep inside, and realize that I haven’t felt it since that night he claimed me, body and soul. The night he told me he loved me in more beautiful ways than just one. I feel my world shifting. My usual process would be to begin wondering if that is a good thing, although I realize I don’t worry if it is anymore. That’s progress. I don’t know where this—where us — is taking me, but I know I need to stick it out or I will regret it for the rest of my life.
Noah
I hadn’t anticipated being gone as long as I was. The first two days were the hardest. Sleeping in dirt, fighting a fire and taking shifts on and off for forty-eight hours was no easy task. Plus, I couldn’t talk to Evelyn, and that killed me even more. When I finally did call her, I was so tired I fell asleep on the line. I woke up delirious and slightly embarrassed.
She had hung up eventually but continued to leave me beautiful text messages in her absence, making me love her even more.
The next few days we were out there were full of long hard hours and short evening calls home to the woman I love and can’t wait to get back to. I need to hold her in my arms again. For the first time ever, I’m anxious over how long I’m going to be forced to be out fighting this fire. Normally, I’m in no rush to get home, but now I find myself out here wishing I had never left.
I get news the day before Christmas Eve that Rex and I would be going home the
next day. Evelyn told me she was going out with Gwen that night, so I figured best to let her have her fun while I keep this little secret to myself. I want to surprise her and can’t wait to see the look on her face when I return home.
I sleep like a rock, and I am relived because I know I’ll need my strength and energy for the woman I’m returning home to and all the ways I’ve imagined making love to her since we’ve been apart. I’m blessed to work only half the day on Christmas Eve when the chief decides to send us home early. Rex and I head home like we have just been given one of the best Christmas presents ever.
Once home, I shower and packed a bag. I have no desire to head home anytime soon and can’t wait for next week when I’ll be packing up and moving to my own place closer to Evelyn. I can’t wait to get back to the life I left only nine days ago.
Anxious and full of excitement, I pull up to Evelyn’s house and can barely contain the need rolling through my body. I notice her car in her usual parking spot, and I’m immediately thankful she is home. I hadn’t called her yet because I didn’t want to give myself away. I knew she may be out once I got over here, but feeling lucky my plan worked I bolt from the car, and find myself running up the walk, through the door, and up the stairs to her apartment taking the stairs two or three at a time.
Wishing I had a key, I knock on her door and hear her voice. I can tell from her tone she isn’t expecting anyone. She turns the locks and with each turn, my excitement grows. I brace myself against the doorframe and wait impatiently for her to open the door, because damnit if it hasn’t been too long since I’ve looked at her.
When she finally opens up, she’s in such state of shock she gasps. She’s absolutely adorable in a white tank top and pink very short pajama shorts. Her hair is down, and without makeup, she couldn’t have been more beautiful.
Stumbling back a few steps at first, she takes off running into my arms. Grabbing her into my arms, I nestle my face into her hair and drink in the fragrance I had been missing for far too long.
I’m home!
I feel myself start to become aroused instantly from her touch. It has been so damn long, and I need her now as fast as I can. I need to feel her wrapped around me for the next several hours, days even. Starting a trail of kisses, first on my cheek and then all over, she finally lands her delicious mouth on my lips. I pick her up and enter her apartment with her in my arms, kicking the door closed with my foot.
She won’t stop kissing me, and I laugh when my failed attempts to stop her only make her hungrier for more.
“Uh uh! No!” she mumbles as she continues to kiss me endlessly.
“Darlin’, I want to look at you,” I plead. “It’s been too long since I have touched you, let alone looked in your eyes.”
“But I want to feel you,” she begs, grabbing hold of me tighter.
This is a better welcome than I had anticipated, and so I let her have it. Never have I been welcomed home anywhere, or by anyone, like this before. She can feel me all she wants as long as I can stare in her eyes while she is doing it.
She finally calms and I find myself rocking her back and forth in my arms slightly, our breathing slowly becoming one. Lowering her to the ground, she backs up enough to look me in the eyes. I grab her around the waist tightly, running my hands the length of her curves once again. Damn, she feels like heaven. She has become even more breathtaking in the last few days we have been forced to be apart.
“God, I missed you so much,” I tell her, my heart hurting from the realization. I kiss her slowly, then faster as our kiss intensifies the more my feelings rise up inside. Leaving her was agony, returning to her makes me complete. It brings me home, and makes me realize she is all I’ve ever wanted. I need to feel her, need to be inside her, need to soothe the ache I’m feeling. I need to claim her, know she is mine in every way. That her … that this, is all we both need.
“Show me how much you missed me,” she pleads through rushed breaths while I kiss her.
I back away from her, looking her in the eye. She knows just what to say and when to say it to make me want, make me need. Immediately ready to go, and knowing we have nowhere else to be but together, I grab her forcefully.
She grabs back, forcing the both of us up against the wall. Rushing, I try my best to extract her from what she’s wearing, needing to feel her skin on mine. She does the same, kissing me everywhere she can and only breaking away to concentrate on a button, or a loop on my belt.
“Gwen,” I breathe out in rushed breaths.
“Gone,” she answers, in between kisses. “At … her parents’ place.”
Frustrated with our constraints, I scoop her up and carry her over to the couch. I have nowhere else to be anytime soon, and I’m about to take all the time I can showing Evelyn how much I’ve missed her. How I’ve longed for her, and how I never want to be without her again. I will show her as many times as she will let me, and as many times as her body can handle until she’s begging for me to stop and silently pleading for more. I want nothing more than to show her how she’s claimed every part of me. How with every look, every touch, every breath I take, she is all I could ever want or ever need again.
Evelyn
“Tell me again why you have a strange and weirdly large collection of worn baseball caps and camo clothing and what I can do about it,” I shout from across Noah’s new small apartment. It’s only been a little over a week since he returned home, and we just moved our last load from his old place late last night and are now busy unpacking boxes.
“It’s not strange or weird. It’s a country thing baby.” He smirks at me from over the boxes he’s unloading in the kitchen. “I don’t ask you about your collection of antiques, books, or writing notebooks, right?”
“Play nice or I might have to come across this room and make you,” I tease.
“By all means, please do.” He smiles mischievously, bracing himself on the counter and pushing down a few times, testing its sturdiness. “I don’t believe we had a chance to break in the kitchen last night.”
“I thought you were supposed to be showing me all I’ve been missing not being with a country boy before,” I say, holding up a hat with so much dirt and sweat stains the logo is almost unrecognizable, along with an almost full-on camo suit that looks like it has been worn more times than most of the other items in his closet. I wait to continue until I have his full attention. “This, my love, is not it!”
He flings a dish towel at me, which falls short several feet from where I actually stand. “Watch it or I’ll be forced to come over there and set you straight, woman,” he playfully says.
Smiling, I know all I have to do is continue and he’ll be rounding the corner of the kitchen making every word of his statement come true. I go back to work though, unpacking and arranging his clothing. That kind of a break would be fun but there is still so much to do.
If I thought I knew Noah before, packing and unpacking all of his belongings helps me know him in ways I hadn’t imagined. So many things that people don’t talk about comes out in their personal belongings: clothes, movies, magazines, toiletries. I glimpse further into his world the more I continue helping him move into his own place. He’s becoming more of a real person than the fantasy I fell in love with, and even through all the camo and sweaty baseball caps, I find myself loving him even more.
My phone rings on one of the boxes next to me. Noah looks up inquisitively as I answer the call.
“What’s up, lady?” I say into the phone.
“I’m calling to confirm that we are in fact partying our asses off for your birthday in a few weeks,” Gwen responds. “I haven’t seen much of you since lover boy returned home, and now that your busy helping him move, I’ve barely seen you at all. You’re like a ghost I used to know.”
“I don’t know, I hadn’t really thought about it. I mean some ideas have been thrown around, but nothing is set in stone,” I explain. Besides, I do not need another reminder that in a little over two and a ha
lf weeks I’ll be turning another year older.
“That’s not what your boyfriend’s man-whore of a best friend said,” Gwen angrily answers back.
“You’re talking to Rex? Since when do you ever talk to Rex?” I ask, shocked.
“He called me this morning. I guess a party in your honor is being thrown at that damn club he owns. He left a message saying under the circumstances he had to invite me, the ass,” Gwen harshly adds.
“Well, I talked to Rex about it, but I hadn’t said yes to anything. I thought maybe Noah and I might just have a quiet night alone,” I suggest, knowing there is bound to be a fight from Gwen. “Or maybe we could just do something small …”
“Oh hell no,” she shouts back, cutting me off. “This man can have you every day of the week, practically every day of the month, but there is no way in hot Hades that he is taking you from me on your birthday! Tell him to back the hell off!”
I laugh. Noah hasn’t any clue about this to my knowledge—it was my idea to avoid the bar scene, not his. But Gwen is right. I have been secluding myself a lot lately. Maybe getting out and being around friends is a great idea. One I shouldn’t pass on.
“It wasn’t his idea, it was mine,” I explain. “But if you want me that bad, I’m all yours.”
“Damn straight you are!” Gwen yells. “Can’t wait! It’s been way to long since we had a night out together.”
“Gwen, every time I see you, it’s a party,” I express, half-annoyed and half-laughing.
“That’s because I’m so damn fun,” she asserts. “Now tell that boyfriend of yours were staying out late. He’s not taking away any more of your time from me than necessary. Looovvveee yyyooouuu!” She says hanging up and leaving me giggling to myself. She is truly a great lady, and an even better friend, even if her good intentions are hard to see sometimes.
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