‘A riches to rags story?’
‘Cinderella in reverse.’
‘And does it have a happy ending?’ asked Lucy.
He leaned towards her, his blue eyes meeting hers. ‘You tell me,’ he said softly.
A sharp knock on the door broke the spell. Clarissa looked up, frowning. ‘Who can that be?’
‘I’ll go,’ Lucy said, folding up her napkin and laying it beside her plate.
It was Gordon Bird. He stood on the doorstep, clutching his hat in his hands, looking as lugubrious as usual.
‘Uncle Gordon!’ she greeted him happily.
‘I hoped you’d be here, Lucy. I tried telephoning you at the nurses’ home but they said you were out.’ He glanced past her. ‘You’re entertaining. I’m sorry.’
‘It’s all right, please come in.’ She stood aside to let him enter. ‘Mother won’t mind at all. It’s very different from the old days, when she used to fuss for hours over table plans. But then, I suppose it’s hard to fuss for hours when your table’s the size of a postage stamp!’
She laughed, then saw her godfather’s sombre expression and stopped abruptly. Uncle Gordon always looked grave, but this time something about the way he looked at her sent a warning shiver up her spine. ‘What is it, Uncle Gordon? What’s wrong?’
Please, she begged silently. No more bad news. I don’t think I can stand it.
‘It’s your father,’ he said. ‘He’s been found.’
Chapter Forty-Five
‘I MUST SAY, I was surprised to hear from you at last,’ Alf said. ‘I thought you’d changed your mind?’
‘Let’s get this over with, shall we?’ Dora shivered in the chill breeze that rose from the canal. It was past nine, and all she wanted was to be safe back at the nurses’ home. The thought of being alone in the dark with Alf Doyle scared her, although she refused to let it show as she confronted him. She knew he had chosen the isolated meeting place deliberately to unnerve her.
‘Suits me, love. Where’s my money, then?’ His eyes gleamed greedily.
Dora took the note out of her purse and handed it to him. Alf looked at it, his mouth curling in derision. ‘A fiver? We said twenty.’
‘I ain’t got it.’
He thrust the money back at her. ‘Then we ain’t got a deal.’
‘But that’s all I have.’
He regarded her, a smile spreading across his broad face. ‘You know what I reckon? You don’t really want me to go. That’s why you ain’t come up with the money.’
He reached out for her, but Dora shrank away. ‘Don’t touch me!’
‘Don’t be like that. That’s not what you say to that Riley boy when you’re letting him paw you, is it?’ He leered at her. ‘Down here, wasn’t it? By the canal? That’s your favourite spot, as I recall.’
Sickness rose in her throat as she remembered the rustling in the bushes and the footsteps she’d put down to her imagination. And then there had been all the other times she’d imagined she was being followed. ‘You’ve been watching me!’
‘Had to keep an eye on you, didn’t I? I must say, you put on a right show with that boy, kissing and cuddling. But I bet I could teach him a thing or two, eh?’
Dora pushed the money back at him. Her nerve gave way, flooding her chest with panic. ‘Take it, please. I’ll get the rest to you later.’
‘And pigs might fly!’ Alf shook his head. ‘Besides, I’ve changed my mind. I don’t think I want to go after all.’
‘But you promised—’
‘Yeah, well, I’ve got cosy here, ain’t I? I reckon it won’t be too much longer before your mum’s begging me to move back in. And once I’m back under her roof, that’ll be it for me. No one’s going to warn me off again. Not you, nor your thug of a boyfriend.’
Dora frowned. ‘What’s Nick got to do with this?’
‘Don’t pretend you don’t know!’ Alf snarled. ‘You’re the one who put him up to it, ain’t you? Collaring me in a dark alley like that.’
‘Nick threatened you?’
‘He did more than threaten me.’ Alf put his hand up to his jaw. ‘Made it plain what would happen if I showed my face round here again. As if I stood a chance against that vicious little sod!’
Dora hardly took in what he’d said, she was reeling with shock at the idea that Nick had confronted him. How had he known? And what did he know? Could it be that all this time he’d known her secret?
‘Still, he ain’t here any more, is he?’ Alf continued with a sneer. ‘I can come and go as I please.’
‘He’ll be back,’ Dora said. ‘The fair will be back in London soon, and then he’ll come home.’
‘Is that what you think?’ Alf grinned at her. ‘Well, I got news for you, my girl. The fair’s already back. And I don’t see any sign of your boyfriend, do you?’
All her blood rushed to her feet, leaving her light-headed. ‘You’re lying,’ she said flatly.
‘Go and see for yourself, if you don’t believe me. The fair’s in Wanstead now. Not a million miles away, is it?’ Alf grinned nastily. ‘You’d think Nick would find the time to come and visit his girl.’ He shook his head. ‘Poor Dora. Looks like you’ve been left in the lurch again, eh?’
He’s lying, she told herself. He’s only saying it to hurt me. But she couldn’t stop a feeling of dread from creeping through her. Wasn’t it just as she’d feared: Nick had grown tired of her and the whole idea of divorce, and just upped sticks and gone?
And if he knew what Alf had done to her, then surely that was even more reason why he would stay away. She suddenly remembered all the times he’d stopped himself from touching her. That night when she’d offered to spend the night with him, but he’d run away. At the time, she’d told herself it was because he cared for her, respected her. But now she wondered if the real reason was because he couldn’t bring himself to touch her because she was damaged goods.
Alf seemed to read her thoughts. ‘Go on, tell me you ain’t been thinking the same thing,’ he goaded softly. ‘Let’s face it, he ain’t got much to rush home to, has he? You ain’t exactly Jean Harlow.’ He looked her up and down with contempt. ‘And from what I remember, you just used to lay there like a sack of coal. Not much to look at either. Not like your sister . . .’
Dora moved to slap him but he grabbed her wrist, his fingers biting into her flesh. She recoiled from his smell of stale beer and bad teeth. ‘But I do remember you liked it rough,’ he whispered, pushing his bristly face close to hers.
‘Leave her alone!’
Alf dropped his hold on Dora and swung round. Rose Doyle stood above them on the path, looking down, her face a mask of fury in the moonlight.
‘Mum!’
‘Rosie, I can explain.’ Alf backed away from Dora, holding up his hands. ‘It wasn’t me, I swear. It was all her. She asked me to meet her tonight. I – I didn’t want to but she said she’d make trouble for me if I didn’t.’ His panicked gaze darted between Dora and Rose as she picked her way down the bank towards them. ‘You’ve got to believe me, Rosie, I’m telling you the truth. She made me do it—’
‘And what about my little Josie? Did she make you do it, too?’ Rose’s voice was raw with emotion.
‘I—’ Alf had barely opened his mouth before Rose flew at him, kicking and spitting and clawing at his face like a wild animal. Caught off balance, he stumbled to his knees but she threw herself on top of him, fists pounding.
‘I’ll kill you, Alf Doyle! So help me, I’ll kill you for what you did to my girls!’
She would, too, Dora realised. Rose Doyle was a woman possessed, wild with white-hot fury. Even Alf, bigger and stronger than she was, didn’t stand a chance. Dora heard his muffled cries for mercy as he lay there, arms thrown up to protect himself from the blows that rained down on him.
‘Leave it, Mum.’ Dora caught hold of her mother and dragged her off. Rose fought against her, wriggling and twisting in her grip, still kicking out at Alf’s hunched body.
‘Rose, please. You’ve got it all wrong,’ he pleaded.
‘You’re right there! I was wrong about you all these years, wasn’t I? Letting you live under my roof, when all the time . . .’
Fresh fury gave Rose a new burst of strength. She broke loose from Dora’s grip and threw herself at Alf again. This time Dora managed to grab her mother’s wrist, holding on to it with all her strength.
She saw the flash of fear in Alf’s face as he lay there gasping for breath, arms wrapped protectively around his battered body.
‘You’d better go,’ Dora told him.
He staggered to his feet. Blood oozed from his shattered nose. ‘Bloody bitch!’ he growled, voice muffled by his cut and swollen lips. ‘You want to know why I had to have your daughters? ’Cos you weren’t woman enough for me!’
‘And you ain’t going to be man enough for anyone by the time I’ve finished with you!’ Rose spat back, fighting against Dora’s restraining hands.
‘Go!’ Dora told him, struggling to keep a grip on her mother. ‘Go while you still can.’
‘And don’t come back this time!’ Rose screamed at Alf as he staggered off, climbing the bank, still clutching his ribs. ‘Because if I see you again, so help me you really will end up floating in the Thames with your throat cut!’
She struggled in Dora’s arms as they watched him climb the bank and disappear towards the street. ‘Let me go after him!’ she screamed. ‘Let me kill the bastard!’
‘He ain’t worth swinging for, Mum.’
‘But what he did to you—’
Suddenly all the fight seemed to drain out of Rose. She collapsed against Dora like a rag doll, spent and exhausted. Dora could only cling to her.
‘How did you find out?’ she whispered.
‘Josie told me.’
Dora stiffened. ‘But she wouldn’t – she didn’t want to say anything.’
‘You’re right, she didn’t. But she knew she had to, for your sake.’
‘For me?’
‘She thought you were going to tell me, take it all on yourself.’ Rose pulled away and wiped the blood from her split lip. ‘Why didn’t you tell me, Dora? Why didn’t you come to me?’
‘Because I didn’t want it to be true.’ She couldn’t look at her mother. She’d imagined having this conversation so many times, but had never thought it would happen. Especially not like this, standing on a deserted canal bank in the moonlight. ‘I thought if I didn’t say anything, I could just pretend it was a nightmare.’ She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. ‘And he made me feel as if it was my fault, as if I was the one to blame. He said you’d hate me if you found out.’
She finally found the courage to look into her mother’s face. The moonlight caught the tears glistening in Rose’s eyes.
‘Oh, my poor love.’ Her voice was choked. She reached for Dora, stroking her face. ‘As if I could ever hate you.’ Rose shuddered. ‘To think what that – that monster did to you and Josie under my roof, and I had no idea.’
She broke down then, sinking to her knees and sobbing as if her heart was torn beyond repair. Dora had never seen her proud East End mother brought so low, and it made her hate Alf even more.
But she couldn’t share her mother’s grief and shock. Dora felt detached, as if it had happened to someone else. But it was all new and raw to Rose, this agony. It would hurt like a fresh wound, bleeding and exposed. Dora had been through that stage, she was beyond feeling pain any more. Her wounds had healed, and all that was left were scars that would never disappear.
‘I didn’t see it, I didn’t know,’ her mother repeated, over and over again. ‘I feel so ashamed.’
‘Mum, don’t. You mustn’t blame yourself. Alf was clever . . . cunning.’
‘But I’m your mother, I should have known. I should have protected you both. Only I was so busy thinking about myself, about making a nice home for my family, I didn’t see what was going on right under my nose. I let you both down so badly . . .’
‘You didn’t, Mum, I promise you.’ Dora pressed her face against her mother’s shoulder. ‘That’s why we couldn’t tell you. We knew you’d only blame yourself. But it ain’t your fault, Mum, any more than it was Josie’s fault, or mine. He’s the one to blame, not us.’
‘And to think he had the nerve to show his face here again!’ Rose’s voice was filled with disgust. ‘I can’t stand to think I let him back in my house, had him sitting at my table . . .’
‘You weren’t to know.’
‘I didn’t trust him.’ Rose dashed the tears from her cheek with her sleeve. ‘When he came back, there was something about him. But I thought it was just me, not being able to forgive him after what he did to us before. And then Josie came to me . . .’
Her voice trailed off, and she looked at Dora. ‘You offered him money to leave?’
‘I had to get rid of him somehow. For Josie’s sake.’
‘You should have told me.’
‘I couldn’t. You seemed so happy he was back.’
‘Happy?’ Rose stared at her in astonishment. ‘I wasn’t happy, love. I could hardly stand to look at him, after the way he walked out on us. But I’ve always tried to do what was best for the family, and I knew the kids needed their dad, so I thought I’d have to try for their sakes.’ She looked at Dora, her face desolate. ‘Little did I know I was inviting a monster back into our home. If I’d known then what I know now . . .’ She broke off, her voice shaking.
‘It’s all right, Mum,’ Dora whispered. ‘It’s over. Let’s just try to forget it, shall we?’ she pleaded.
‘I don’t know if I ever can, love.’
This was what Dora had always feared, and she knew it was what Josie feared, too. It was what had kept them both silent for so many years.
‘You must, Mum. For our sake.’ Dora looked out across the canal, its dark, oily ribbon of water stretching towards the railway bridge.
She knew her mother was right; she should have spoken out about what was happening to her. But deep down she knew she’d never have been brave enough to say the words. In the end it was her sister, the little girl she’d always striven to protect, who had found the courage to speak up, for both their sakes. Dora was glad it was all out in the open at last. At least now she could face her family without feeling there was a barrier between them, a terrible unspoken secret she could never divulge.
But at the same time she was scared. She didn’t want this to spoil things between them for ever. She couldn’t bear the idea of her mother seeing Alf whenever she looked at Dora, remembering what he’d done to her child.
‘Josie and I have lived with this for too long. We don’t want to go through it any more. Please?’ begged Dora.
Her mother turned to her with a face full of understanding. ‘It’s over, Dora.’ She smiled tenderly at her daughter. ‘We’ll never have to see that man’s face, or mention his name, ever again, I promise.’
The following day, Dora caught the bus to Wanstead. All the way there, she tried to tell herself that Alf Doyle had been lying. But no matter what she told herself, she couldn’t silence her own fears.
She tried to tell herself the fair wouldn’t be there. But as she got off the bus at the common, she could already see the glow of coloured lights in the sky and hear the faint, jolly strains of a fairground organ.
The fair was busy, crowded with sweethearts wandering hand in hand and families trying their luck on the various sideshows. Rich smells of toffee and frying onions filled the air.
Dora hardly noticed any of it as she pushed her way through the milling crowds, looking for the boxing booth. She circled the fairground three times before she realised it wasn’t there.
‘Lost someone, love?’ a woman called out to her from the coconut shy. She was a small, dumpy creature, swaddled in various layers of clothing, her hair caught up in a scarf. ‘That must be a dozen times you’ve walked past me.’
Dora stepped into the pool of light around the shy. ‘I was looki
ng for the boxing booth.’
‘Oh, yeah? Fancy trying your luck, do you?’ The woman cackled, showing a few brown stumps where her teeth should have been. ‘Sorry, girl, you’re going to have to find something else to punch. Boxing booth’s closed down.’
Dora heard her heart pounding in her ears. ‘What about Nick Riley?’
‘Who? Oh, you mean the bloke who ran the stall? He’s gone, too.’
‘When?’
All the blood in Dora’s head rushed to her feet, making her head spin. ‘When?’ she heard herself ask faintly.
‘Let’s see. . . . . .’ The woman was distracted for a moment as a customer approached. Dora waited, impatience gnawing away at her, as the woman took their money and handed over three wooden balls. ‘Be lucky, love.’ She grinned at them and then turned back to Dora. ‘I reckon it must have been a good few weeks ago now.’ She considered it for a moment. ‘Yes, that’s right. Just after we left Oxford.’
‘Did he say where he was going?’ Dora asked.
‘Hah! Not to me, love. Surly little sod, he was. Getting him to say good morning was like getting blood out of a stone.’ She kept her eyes fixed on the child aiming balls at the shy. Each one missed its target and landed with a soft thump against the thick canvas. ‘Decided life on the road wasn’t for him, I expect. Don’t suit everyone.’ She made a sympathetic face at the child. ‘Oh, bad luck, son. Come back and have another go later.’ She bent to gather up the wooden balls, groaning with the effort. ‘No, if you ask me, he’s headed off home. I expect that’s where you’ll find him.’
I wouldn’t bet on it, Dora thought. She thanked the woman automatically and turned away.
‘Friend of his, was you?’ the woman called after her.
Dora smiled sadly. ‘Once, maybe,’ she said. ‘But not any more.’
Chapter Forty-Six
SISTER SUTTON SEEMED rather flustered to see Kathleen Fox at the door to her flat.
‘Matron! I wasn’t expecting you.’ She brushed down her uniform. ‘Is anything the matter?’
‘Not at all, Sister Sutton. I just thought I’d drop in and see how you’re getting on after your illness?’
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