In half an hour, they had strung together a chain of materials that included Lachlan’s belt, pants, jacket and shirt, the strap of Hilary’s handbag and her stockings.
Hilary stood under the hole in Lachlan’s sturdy boots. ‘We just need something weighty enough to catch between the boulders,’ she said.
After some scrabbling on the cave floor, Nina found a hand-sized, flat rock and knotted it into the arm of Lachlan’s shirt.
‘I suppose it’s a bit like the hammer throw,’ said Hilary, eyeing the boulders above. ‘I was rather good at that as a schoolgirl. Stand back.’
She whirled the weighted end around her head and hurled it towards the patch of light. It didn’t even reach halfway. She tried again, and again.
‘Here, give me a try.’ Nina seized the makeshift rope and flung it up as high as she could. For a second it snagged on something in the darkness, but slipped down again when she tugged it.
They took it in turns until their arms ached.
‘If we could just see the cave wall near the top there,’ said Nina. ‘There might be some kind of overhang or ledge lower down.’
‘I’ll get my phone. Use the torch thingummy again.’
Nina waited while Hilary searched her bag. She took a couple of deep breaths. It was nausea that had first made her suspect she was pregnant. She’d wanted to be sure before telling Heath, so when she was getting groceries for the tour group in town – was it only yesterday – she had popped into the pharmacy. With a smile, she remembered the conspiratorial look on Diane’s face as she paid for the test.
But now the nausea was worse. Much worse. Nina had to fight the urge to retch – she couldn’t afford to lose even the slightest amount of fluid. But there was no point in telling Hilary. After all, they could spend the time they had complaining about their bruises and cuts, their fatigue and fear, but what good would it do them? Nina knew they could both feel the black tide of despair lapping at the edges of their consciousness. Only a wall of sheer willpower could keep it back.
‘Right, that’s got it,’ called Hilary. She brandished the phone in her hand. The torch app threw a spectral white light on the rock wall above them, picking out the shards and crags of rock that stood out from the surface. But none seemed large enough to act as an anchor.
‘What if I stand on your back? I might be able to throw it all the way to the top,’ said Nina.
‘It wouldn’t make the slightest bit of difference,’ said Hilary. ‘Besides, we can’t risk you hurting yourself.’
‘Hurting myself?’ Nina had to laugh. ‘In case you hadn’t noticed, this has now become the official dying place for members of the Larkin family. First Dad, then Lachlan. I don’t want to join that club.’
‘Well, all right then. But I’ll climb on you. If I fall it won’t make much difference. I don’t have an inch on me that’s not bruised, and my manicure’s ruined anyhow. Stand right next to the wall. Lean your shoulder against it and brace yourself. Now, bend forward and put your hands on your knees. Feel okay?’
‘I think so.’ Nina locked her arms into position. Every limb hurt and it was hard to keep her balance in the dark. She heard Hilary kick off the boots and braced as she clambered awkwardly onto Nina’s back. Hilary rose unsteadily to her feet.
Nina felt a massive thrust as Hilary threw the line upward again. She steeled herself, sweat sliding down her face. No luck. After half a dozen tries, they had to admit it was hopeless.
‘It looks like all we can do is wait,’ said Hilary.
‘Heath will come,’ whispered Nina into the darkness.
‘What time is it?’
‘Two o’clock.’
‘In the afternoon?’ asked Nina.
‘Of course.’
‘The time goes so slowly.’
Nina was lying on her back, her head in Hilary’s lap. They chose to ignore the scurrying noises coming from the far wall. ‘I wish we could still hear Syd. Even if it’s only whining. Hope he’s alright. Perhaps he’ll run to The Springs and bring them here.’
‘How about you tell me a story. Tell me about when you were growing up,’ said Hilary, brushing Nina’s hair away from her face. ‘I wish I’d met you back then.’
‘We came out from Sydney every Christmas until I was eight but you were living in Tamworth then, right?’
‘Yes. But I wouldn’t have known you were mine even if I’d met you then. We moved back just before Jim disappeared.’
‘So why did you come back?’
‘I missed the old place. I wanted Deborah to grow up on a property, so when Phillip retired from the machinery business we built Paramour.’
‘Did you love him?’ asked Nina.
‘Yes, in the end. I’ll admit, at first I was attracted by his money. He was the boss’s son. Worth a fortune. Money’s a bit like gin – it can make anyone look attractive.’ Hilary’s short laugh echoed around the cave.
‘I was never passionate about him, though. Not that all-consuming obsession I had for your father. But I did come to care for Phillip, very deeply. To respect him. He was one of the most decent human beings I’d ever met. And he was crazy about me right from the start.’
‘You must miss him,’ said Nina.
‘Come on now – you’re cheating. I asked for a story from you and then you end up making me talk.’
Nina gazed at the pale patch of light above her, snatches of memory flying through her mind like dry leaves, scattered and insubstantial. She saw herself going to a Christmas pantomime at the State Theatre in Sydney, each hand held securely by a loving parent, gazing up in wonder not at a cave roof but at the gilded cherubs on the ceiling. But, given Hilary’s history, perhaps happy family stories weren’t a good choice.
‘I don’t know why I suddenly remember this,’ she said. ‘I decided to make these caramel slices for the school fete. I must have been about 11. The recipe said to boil an unopened tin of condensed milk in a pot of water. As Mum left for the shops, she told me to make sure it didn’t boil dry. But of course I was so busy drawing horses and daydreaming about the singer from Hanson that I forgot all about it. That is, until I heard this huge bang. The tin had exploded and the entire kitchen – even the ceiling – was covered in caramel. It took me days to scrape it all off. Mum was furious.’
‘I’m not surprised,’ said Hilary. ‘You could have hurt yourself.’
‘Dessert-related trauma,’ laughed Nina. ‘What a way to go.’
‘Don’t talk about dessert!’ said Hilary.
‘Well, tell me about your childhood then.’
CHAPTER 30
A metre to the left, a metre to the right.
Izzy’s eyes swept the dry grass ahead, looking for anything unusual or out of place. To either side, the searchers spread out in a straight line, inching slowly across the paddocks between The Springs and Kurrabar.
Beside her, Moira, Roy, Deborah, Peg and Lobby paced steadily, and beyond them were most of their neighbours. They had turned up as soon as the call for volunteers went out. The orange jackets of the fire brigade and the yellow of the local SES competed with the burning midday sun. The rustle of 80 or so feet moving through the grass was broken only by the odd babble of wireless chatter from walkie-talkies or the screech of a cockatoo.
Izzy looked up to see a mob of stationary emus, stick-figure sentinels on the horizon. Being out here in the open air doing something practical was some relief after the anxiety of the night, though she couldn’t unravel the knots in her stomach.
A metre to the left, a metre to the right.
Izzy tried to concentrate on the job at hand. The minute she didn’t – if she took any time at all to absorb the horror of what might have happened – fear overwhelmed her. Ben had joined the police trawling the roads and the area around Hilary’s car. Nina obviously hadn’t been able to get to her car for some reason, so Kurrabar would be the natural place for her to run to.
No calls. Why? And that shocking news about Lachlan at the bank. Obv
iously, Nina never signed the authorisation, or he would have taken the gold before people realised anything was wrong. So now that he had no chance of getting his hands on it, why would he still be holding her and Hilary? And then there was the gun …
A metre to the left, a metre to the right.
There was a sudden stir along the line of walkers. Izzy looked up. Bounding towards them across the paddock was Syd. He seemed confused, dashing this way and that.
‘Syd! Here, Syddy!’ she called, her heart hammering. The dog turned and made a beeline towards her familiar voice.
‘Everyone stop right where you are. Don’t lose formation,’ shouted Hamish.
‘What’s he carrying?’ asked Lobby, shading his eyes.
The kelpie sat panting at Izzy’s feet. She leaned down and took the object from his mouth. A tan fabric shoe, its high heel flapping loose. She looked inside it. ‘Italian,’ she said. ‘This has to be Hilary’s.’
‘We’ve got something,’ Lobby shouted to the officer supervising the search.
Izzy stood dumbly with the shoe in her hand as he pulled out an evidence bag from his pack.
‘Is this the dog missing from The Springs?’ he asked.
She nodded and bent down to pat Syd, who sat looking at her intently, his tail beating.
‘No – don’t touch him. We’ll need to examine him,’ said the officer. ‘Let’s get them back to forensics quickly – this is important.’
‘That can’t be right?’ Hilary muttered, looking at the phone. ‘How could it only be 11 pm?’
‘What is it?’ asked Nina, stirring from a fitful sleep. Hilary immediately regretted robbing her of a brief break from this unrelenting reality.
‘Nothing,’ said Hilary, switching off the comforting light the minute her eyes registered they were now down to 20 per cent battery. ‘You sound a bit better.’
‘Do I? You sound croaky,’ said Nina. ‘Is your throat sore?’
‘No, it’s fine. But I could murder a cigarette … Wonder if they’re still out searching in the dark,’ said Hilary.
‘Yes,’ said Nina. ‘I’m trying to remember if Heath knew Lachlan came up here when I brought the art group to the waterhole.’
‘He’ll think of it – eventually. I have total faith in him. He’s smart. That’s why I’m thrilled he’s finally going to be my son-in-law.’
‘If we ever get out of here,’ said Nina quietly.
Hilary attempted a chuckle. ‘I can just imagine him now, cutting through Barry Kemp’s crap and working out where we are. Heath’s resourceful. Thinks outside the box. Thanks to him I’m apparently a greenie now in case you haven’t heard. Restoring the land at Paramour and the river. Who knows what I’ll be doing in a few years. Tying myself to trees perhaps.’
Nina laughed. ‘Oh, I’ve heard alright. I must say that one was a big surprise.’
‘And talking of water, it still haunts me about the … you know … when I blocked up your bore at The Springs. I’m so ashamed. I hope one day you can forgive me.’
Nina rubbed Hilary’s hands. ‘It doesn’t matter anymore. Let’s leave it where it belongs. In the past.’ They sat in the deep silence. ‘You know, if I was going to get stuck here with anyone, besides Heath of course, I’m glad it’s you.’
Hilary smiled in the darkness. ‘Well that’s a back-handed compliment.’ She chuckled, then coughed. Her throat was so dry. ‘Life’s funny, isn’t it? I’m the first to admit I was devastated when Deborah and Heath called things off. But it turns out my fate is to have him as a son-in-law anyway – just with a different daughter. The one I thought I’d lost forever.’
Nina squeezed her hand.
Hilary continued. ‘It took a long, tortuous road to get here but I think we make a pretty good mother and daughter. And damned good looking too, if I do say so.’
Nina sighed. ‘And now, after finally finding each other, we’re stuck here.’
‘Yes,’ said Hilary, as she brushed Nina’s hair from her eyes. ‘It’s going to be alright. It has to be. I haven’t had enough time with you. You’ve got a child to raise. And I’m going to be a helicopter granny, whether you like it or not. I love being a grandmother, more in a way than I did being a mother. I struggled sometimes with Deborah.’
‘You’re hard on yourself.’
‘I’ve improved. I didn’t have much to go on in the early days. I barely remember my own mother. If it wasn’t for Kathryn, and Moira too, in a way, I wouldn’t have known what it was to be really loved, back then.’
‘That’s so sad.’
‘It might be hard for you to believe, but I’ve actually had worse times than this,’ said Hilary.
Nina snorted. ‘Worse than this?’
‘Well, for one, when I slipped the locket that I stole from Jim inside your baby blanket and handed you over to a stranger.’ There was a beat. ‘I was so lost, alone. Had no idea what it would feel like. And now, I guess I don’t know how we’re supposed to do the whole mother-daughter thing. I realise I’m not very good at it.’
‘I’ve hardly been daughter of the year, either,’ said Nina. ‘I guess we’re more alike than we think.’
‘You’re doing fine. I hope Julia was the mother you deserved.’
‘She was wonderful.’
‘And now you have Heath.’
‘There was a time when I could have lost him.’
‘How?’
‘By almost making sure our relationship got stuck. Not fully opening up to him, I suppose.’
‘Well, you’ve lost so many people close to you. It’s no surprise you’ve been cautious.’ Hilary sighed. ‘I thought I loved your father but I don’t know … I was obsessed, I think. Imagining that if I was with him everything would be just fine. He was my escape, or so I thought. I was blind to what he thought of me.’
‘So how did I happen?’
‘I … well … you deserve the truth. He really hardly noticed me, except when I modelled for him. I keep that, that one moment always.’ She sighed and then continued. ‘I tricked him into a one-night stand. A hijack – didn’t leave him with much choice. I was mad with the idea of him and what my life could be. I was just a silly schoolgirl.’
There was a muffled noise. Scratch, scratch.
‘It’s coming from over … there.’ Hilary shuddered at the thought.
‘Maybe one of them is down here … a bat.’
‘Stop it, Nina! I couldn’t stand it if it was a bat – if it wasn’t endangered before, it will be soon if I have my way, greenie or no greenie.’
‘Sorry,’ said Nina, her voice resigned. ‘Bats go out hunting at night. More likely rats. Attracted by … you know.’
More scratching.
‘God,’ said Hilary, burying her head in her hands. ‘That’s even worse.’ She shivered. Just the thought of him lying there being gnawed at – almost naked now Nina was wearing most of his clothes. ‘Maybe it’s a lizard.’ Please make it a lizard and nothing else. She had to hold it together.
‘I’ll just turn Lachlan’s phone on for a bit.’ Nina peered at the screen. ‘Hey, his is still on 50 per cent. I’ll have a quick look around. If it’s a lizard, we might be able to catch it.’
‘Yes, you try,’ said Hilary. ‘Need to close my eyes.’
A sound. A low gurgle that started in the pit of her stomach and forced its way upwards until it exploded in violent retching.
She spat, coughed, spat again. Nothing.
Nina heard herself groan and then Hilary was right with her, pulling the dank hair back from her face and muttering soothing words.
‘Don’t worry, breathe slowly. It’s just the pregnancy. Morning sickness – such a stupid term. No doubt a man came up with that one. When I was carrying you, I was vomiting morning to night.’
Her voice was brisk but Nina wasn’t fooled. ‘I don’t think it’s just that.’ She coughed and was hit instantly by another wave of nausea. ‘Nothing’s coming up. I … I …’
‘Here,’ said
Hilary, handing her a piece of the muffin and the bottle of water. ‘Eat all of this. It might settle your stomach.’
‘But isn’t that the last of it?’
‘Yes. Well, no. I still have those sour cherry drops, remember – dessert. Eat it. Please. No arguments.’
Nina groaned – bile rising at the thought. But as she nibbled the stale crumbs, her stomach started to settle. Then she coughed again. And again. And then her body started shaking with paroxysms.
‘Here, drink,’ said Hilary, holding the bottle to her mouth.
Nina took a sip then drank greedily. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take so much.’ She pushed the bottle back in Hilary’s hands.
‘No, take it all – you need it more than me.’
‘No,’ said Nina, exhausted. ‘I can’t.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous. Here, take it. I had a big swig earlier.’
‘Did you?’ Nina whispered. ‘Really?’
‘Yes. Now drink.’
Nina swallowed the last drops.
‘There. See? All better. Just a bit of morning sickness. That might have done the trick.’
But as Nina lay her head on Hilary’s lap, she knew it was more than that. Her body was weakening fast. She was glad of the darkness so she didn’t have to see the truth in her mother’s eyes.
FLASH. Nina’s pale face in the torchlight, eyes closed, mouth slightly open. Her breathing seemed shallow, rapid.
BLACKNESS. And with it, even darker thoughts.
FLASH. Hilary trained the torch around the top of the cave yet one more time, in the vain hope that a new way out would suddenly appear.
BLACKNESS. She couldn’t bear to turn the phone off but there was little power left. So her life would end with that bastard lying dead on one side of the cave, and her daughter and grandchild slowly dying beside her.
CHAPTER 31
It was sunset as Heath trudged wearily from the hangar to the Kurrabar homestead. The bright orange evening sky and the warm breeze contrasted with the darkness that had grown inside him all afternoon as sweep after sweep of the east and south vectors had found nothing. Tomorrow, once the supplies of avgas arrived, he would cover the north and west, but short of a miracle, this would be the second night Nina would be spending god knows where.
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