The Darkest Hour: A San Diegan Novel

by S. M. Soto

“Is he mad? He hasn’t called since my text last night, and if I’m being honest I’m starting to freak out,” I admit as I feel my blood pressure rise. Natalia smiles pacifyingly.

  “He’s not mad, Aliza. He was worried when no one could get ahold of you, so, he thought it was best to give you the weekend off. He figured you needed some breathing room and you would come around when you were ready.” She shrugs like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. I pin her with a narrow gaze as I size her up.

  “And he told you all this?” I question with a hint of surprise in my tone.

  “Yes, and stop looking at me like that, will you? That man doesn’t see anyone but you, so you can cut the whole jealousy act,” she scolds, making me feel childish.

  “Sorry.” I sigh apologetically. “I just…I don’t know. I think I’m crazy.”

  Natalia smiles and waves me off.

  “Please,” she scoffs, “if Chase was my boyfriend I would be territorial too.” She winks playfully putting me at ease.

  “And as for you being crazy, well, we all knew that already,” Sam says in a mood. I look over to Natalia in question. She leans in to whisper covertly in my ear while Sam stretches out on my sofa.

  “I might have ruined her little sex fest at the apartment last night, and I woke her up early to come here. To say she isn’t a happy camper right now would be putting it mildly.”

  I raise my brows incredulously.

  “Sex fest?” I mouth in question and Natalia shudders with a look of shear disgust which makes me laugh.

  Sam and Natalia stay for a while before they leave to do some shopping for tomorrow night. Alex invited us to the club to sit in his VIP section, much like last time. Since he’s Chase’s best friend, I knew I would have to attend one way or another, so I agreed.

  There’s only three days left till my birthday and I need to try to stay as busy as possible to keep my find off that little fact. Natalia promised to bring me back something cute to wear since I told her I wasn’t going shopping with them. The only thing that I want to do, right now, is see Chase and get wrapped up in the man I love.

  I shoot him a quick text before leaving the house. “Are you at work? I’m on my way.”

  I lock up everything before waiting outside for my ride. I check the app, and seeing he’s still eight minutes away, I decide to check on Mr. Walker. After my break down last night, I haven’t given much thought to the fact that he wasn’t home yesterday. He’s usually always home.

  I climb up the steps of his porch seeing his empty chair. Huh. That’s strange.

  I ring the doorbell and wait for any noise to come from within his house but I don’t hear anything. Radio silence. My brows furrow in confusion and my phone dings, alerting me of my ride. I don’t move from my spot on his porch for a few seconds. I stare at his door not comfortable with the silence. I turn away from the door and continue walking down his steps to the waiting car in front of my condo. I look over my shoulder at his quiet house and wonder where he is. My worried thoughts over Mr. Walker cease completely as I climb into the car. My eyes train on the screen of my phone, waiting, hoping, the screen will light up with a text message from Chase. Nothing. I just hope all goes well.

  The anticipation builds the closer I get to the bar and grille. My heart pounds in my chest as we pull to a stop beside the front entrance.

  Deep breath in, deep breath out.

  I clamber out of the car shakily. The rushing of blood and the pounding of my pulse are all that I can hear—every other noise fades completely. I don’t bother with pleasantries; instead I hurry past my coworkers, taking the stairs two at a time. When Chase’s office door comes into view, my pulse pounds—roaring in my ears. I lean forward to tuck my head between my legs and rest my hands on top of my knees, doing everything I can to catch my breath, and calm my anxiety.

  Just go in there and talk to him. Just do it.

  With my mind made up, I force my limbs to move, pushing past the door left ajar. My footsteps falter upon entering and my heart constricts painfully in my chest. My heart doesn’t give my brain the chance to assess the scene before me. Instead, it jumps to one conclusion and one conclusion only.

  “So, she’s the reason you couldn’t text me back.”

  Chase’s eyes widen and swing to mine; he shrugs off the female hand placed on his forearm. I shift my eyes to Erin’s smug look. If I didn’t already hate her before, I do now.

  “Sorry sweetie, but yes, I am the reason, so if you don’t mind, the grown-ups are talking.” She waves me off with a flick of her hand and a sour smile. My lips thin into a grim line and my hands curl into fists.

  “Don’t start now, Erin.” Chase pointedly glares at her before turning back to me. “We were just talking, Aliza. I haven’t had a chance to reply to your messages.”

  I scoff and raise my brows incredulously, “All night?”

  “He was a little busy last night, if you must know.” Erin cocks her head at me in challenge. A gnawing pang throbs in my gut. The pain in my sternum roars to life, feeling like my chest is being cut in half with the jagged edges of a knife.

  “God dammit, Erin!” He shouts scrubbing a rough hand down his face. Tears well in my eyes, and I bite my bottom lip to stave off the urge to let the tears fall. Chase’s pained gaze meets mine, and I shake my head in complete and utter disappointment. I whirl around without a second look back, and shakily speed down the stairs. A lone tear slides down my cheek, and I hastily wipe it away. I barely make it out the back door of the bar and grille, before urgent footsteps pound behind me. A heavy hand is placed on my shoulder; I shrug it off, whirling around. I meet the stormy blue of Chase’s eyes, and narrow my gaze at him.

  “Why was she here?”

  He blows out a puff of air, and rubs the back of his neck. “She wanted to talk. I felt I owed her that much after the way I dropped her.”

  “So let me get this straight, you owed her a conversation, while I got shit from you?”

  He narrows his eyes, and his lips thin. “It’s not like that, Aliza. Jesus, she told me she loved me and I paraded around another woman in front of her!”

  I raise my brows incredulously, “So I’m just another woman?” I can’t hide the hurt in my voice. His face softens and he takes a step toward me.

  “That’s not what I meant; Aliza, you and I both know that.”

  “Do I?” I challenge.

  “If you don’t know by now that you’re more than just another woman, than you need to open your eyes. Yes, it was a bad idea to talk to Erin without telling you, I’m sorry. But if closure is what she needs to move on, so we can move forward then so be it.”

  “And what about last night? Is there any truth to what she said?” His jaw clenches, and his eyes fall shut. Like a blow to the gut all the air is knocked out of me. I swallow thickly, willing the tears not to fall.

  “And to actually think I felt so bad for not calling you yesterday,” I whisper, hurt laced in my voice. “God, how stupid am I? You were with her anyway.”

  “It wasn’t like that. She showed up at my place, drunk, and crying. I called her a cab.”

  “How very chivalrous of you,” I mock and his nostrils flare in anger.

  “What the hell was I supposed to do, Aliza? Leave her outside of my house drunk?”

  “You should’ve told me.” I let the disappointment I feel show.

  “You wouldn’t have answered!” He shouts and I flinch at his tone. “I called you almost all fucking day yesterday trying to get a hold of you. I had to hear it from your friends just to understand what was happening!” He shouts. I open my mouth to say something but he cuts me off. “We’re fighting over something that could’ve been avoided if you would’ve just talked to me.”

  “So, this is my fault now?” I raise my brows incredulously. Chase grinds his jaw back and forth, scrubbing a rough hand down his face.

  “I gotta get back to work.” He doesn’t wait for me to reply, he stalks inside without a look bac
k, leaving me standing alone.

  **

  My anger towards Chase dwindles as the day goes on. I continue checking my phone for any missed calls or messages from him, but I’m left with nothing. As much as I hate to admit it, he was right; this could’ve been avoided if I just talked to him.

  “What happened now?”

  Alex’s voice startles me, jolting me out of my thoughts. He’s leaning his thick shoulder against the frame of the employee lounge door.

  “With what?” I say, trying to play it off. Instead of falling for it, he gives me a knowing look and I relent.

  “We had a fight. Erin was here…in his office with him.”

  “Of course she was. Erin was always one for the theatrics,” he mumbles.

  “She had her hand on his arm.”

  He nods his head, waiting to hear more, but I stop because really, that’s all there is to the story.

  What more is there to say? Saying it out loud…it sounds stupid, and insignificant. But at the time…seeing them alone together hurt.

  “I’m just gonna take an educated guess here…you walked in when she had her hand on him, she made it seem like there was something more happening, and now you’re pissed?”

  I blow out a defeated breath. “I’m not pissed; or at least not anymore. I’m more hurt than anything.”

  “Look, sunshine, I know Chase better than anyone, and when I say he’s not interested in Erin, I’m not putting it lightly. He’s different with you. He sees it, I see it, fuck, almost everyone does but you. So don’t doubt him for trying to clear the air with the psycho. His heart was in the right place.”

  I narrow my eyes at him. “Did he put you up to this?”

  Alex chuckles throatily. “You think I’d listen to that fucker? Hell, no.”

  A small smile lifts the corners of my lips at his language. He reminds me so much of Sam it’s comical.

  “What’re you smiling about, sunshine?”

  “You remind me of Sam.”

  A broad smile lights his whole face at the mention of her name, which is the exact opposite reaction Sam has at the mention of his name.

  “Yeah, well, we’re both one and the same.”

  “What’s going on with you two anyway?” I ask; my brows pulled down in curiosity. His smile saddens.

  “The same thing that always happens with Samantha. Right when she starts to open up and let someone in, she pushes them away.”

  My face falls and I smile sadly. “I’m sorry, Alex.”

  “Don’t be. That girl loves me no matter how hard she tries to deny it.” He winks at me playfully, and I can’t help but smile.

  “Go home. You have a long night of thinking ahead of you.”

  Yeah, no kidding.

  I berate myself over, and over that night as I crawl into bed. Why am I so bad at this? How is this relationship ever going to work?

  Question after question forms, begging to be answered. Sleep doesn’t come easy, I toss and turn almost all night, plagued with bad decision after bad decision.

  ***

  The next morning, I wake with one thing in mind and one thing only. Chase. There are still no messages or calls from him, so I do the only thing I can think of—go to his place. I’m not sure if he’ll be home or not, but it’s worth a shot. I’m scared shitless he’ll still be angry, and rightfully so, but I’m also hoping that he misses me just as much as I miss him. The taxi slows to a stop in front of his house, and the car idles at the curb of his driveway.

  Now or never, Aliza.

  I blow out a breath and dig through my purse for loose change to pay the fare. A distant whistle outside of the cab has my head jerking up in surprise. A silhouette of a man walks toward the cab and my heart pounds wildly.

  My mouth goes dry and my overactive libido makes her appearance as I take in Chase. He’s dressed in workout clothes looking thoroughly sweaty, and majorly sexy. I must’ve caught him just as he was finishing his run. The butterflies in my tummy swarm as he walks up to the passenger window of the car. He digs into his shorts pulling out his wallet.

  “Thanks man, keep the change.” His velvety smooth voice floats around me like silk. I watch as the driver’s eyes widen at the amount of cash he received, and a smile tips the corners of my lips as I climb out of the car. Without preamble, I throw myself into Chase’s broad chest without giving it much thought. His arms wrap around me immediately, and I’m engulfed by his large body.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper into his chest as I bury my face against him. His arms tighten around me a fraction before he bends to kiss the top of my head in that sweet way I love.

  “Come on.” He urges. “Let’s go inside.” I unwrap myself partially, feeling his arm wrap around my waist as he guides us inside.

  “I need to say something first,” I blurt, looking up at him, suddenly feeling the need to get this off my chest. He nods his head waiting for me to go on.

  “I know I overreacted, but Erin is a problem for me, Chase. I won’t compete with her over you. I can’t.”

  He looks me in the eyes and tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “There’s no competition between the two of you, Aliza. It’s only you. As for Erin being a problem, I realize that. It was a mistake trying to clear the air with her, but I want you to know I didn’t invite her to the bar and grille that day, she just showed up, that’s the only reason I decided to talk to her. I’ve made it clear that she’s to stay away from the bar and you.”

  I blow out a relieved breath and give him a watery smile.

  “I’ve been waiting for you to come to your senses.” He says in jest and I nudge him in the arm with my elbow. His lip twitches with a smile, and he winks at me before he closes the front door behind us.

  “I need to shower.” He points out. “Make yourself comfortable, I shouldn’t be long.” He bends to give me a chaste kiss on the lips before heading to the shower. I’m stuck where he left me, taking in my surroundings. His house is so quiet; I can’t even hear the water running from his shower. I shift back forth on my feet when a brilliant idea pops into my head, and I grin deviously to myself. I saunter down the hallway toward Chase’s room, the bed is made, and everything is strategically placed, as it usually is. I faintly hear the sound of the shower running, and my stomach flip flops. I hurriedly strip off my clothes and fold them into a pile onto his bed.

  The bathroom door is slightly ajar, fueling my plan, I cautiously step inside and push the door open a fraction wider, not trying to draw any unwanted attention to myself. My breath catches in my throat as I get a glimpse of Chase’s naked form in the shower. His muscles glimmer under the flowing water and soapsuds. I watch in fascination. His movements are so controlled, unhurried, and masculine; whereas mine are usually clumsy and ungraceful. The tempo of my heart speeds up and my tummy flutters sending a delicious ache to the apex of my thighs. I lick my lips, feeling the warm steam of his shower surround me—making me hot.

  Without wasting another second, I open the shower door and tip toe inside quietly as I admire his backside. I patiently wait for him to notice me; I take the time to let my eyes rake up and down his beautiful body in appreciation. I gasp at the sight of his massive erection.

  Lord have mercy, is this man always hard?

  “You must love to torture me,” Chase rasps out. His hand covers his erection, and he strokes firmly. My breath hitches, and my nipples harden at the erotic sight of him touching himself.

  “You knew I was here the whole time.” I realize breathlessly. Chase turns around, and his abdomen glistens with water droplets, his muscles tighten with each stroke of his fist. The corners of his mouth tilt upward.

  “Of course I did, Aliza. I always know when you’re close,” he whispers, his voice is gravelly. The painful throbbing between my legs is becoming unbearable. The need to touch myself is uncontrollable. My hand slithers down the front of my stomach, to the sensitive nub between my legs. My fingers rub in a gentle circle, sending a jolt of pleasure thro
ugh my body. My eyes close briefly at the warm sensations swirling through my stomach. His sharp hiss makes my eyes fly open. He gives me a smoldering look that could melt steel. I don’t want to go another second without his hands on me.

  “Touch me, please.” I whimper.

  Within seconds his wet body collides with my dry one, our mouths fuse and every one of my nerve endings has roared to life. The kiss is hot, wet, and everything I need in this moment. Chase pushes me up against the tiled wall of the shower and I pull away from the kiss with swollen lips and labored breaths.

  “Make love to me,” I whisper.

  “With pleasure,” he says with a cocky grin.

  After our little romp in the shower, we ordered in some Chinese and sat crossed legged on the floor in the master bedroom while staring out the windows of the balcony.

  “Are we gonna talk about what happened?” Chase finally asks between bites of his food.

  I freeze with a forkful of Chow Mein in front of my mouth. I rack my brain for something to say, but nothing comes up. I want to tell him the truth, the whole truth, but I can’t without breaking down all over again. I don’t want to risk him looking at me differently once he finds out. I promised I wouldn’t spiral down, and that’s what will happen if I open that can of worms. I stare into Chase’s patient expression and let out a deep sigh. Lowering my fork, I clasp my hands together in my lap.

  “It’s my birthday on Monday,” I state. His expression doesn’t waver, which tells me he already knew that.

  “But my birthday isn’t a day I like to celebrate. It represents…pain. So, I don’t celebrate it, ever.” I sum up quickly as I look up at him through my lashes. Chase seems to mull over what I’ve said before saying anything.

  “What happened on your birthday, Aliza?” He asks with furrowed brows. I close my eyes tightly, and force myself to take deep breaths.

  Just breathe.

  Air in, air out. C’mon lungs it’s not that hard.

  When I finally feel centered enough, I open my eyes to a pair of intense blues that pierce right through me. My eyes sting at his expression, he’s waiting, no—begging with his eyes, for me to tell him the truth. But I can’t, at least, not yet. I shake my head slightly.