by Carol Holden
I feel it is a privilege to be here with them.”
The meal was elegantly served and the food excellent along with the conversation. They are a very close family but they included me in all the table talk and I have never felt more at home anywhere. Taj smiled at me across the table and I found myself looking at him only to find he was looking at me. He has beautiful brown velvet eyes in a skin that is like tanned silk and I find him so attractive that I feel awkward and embarrassed as I turn away from him, lowering my eyes
After the meal, we all returned to the shore by the hotel boat and then we strolled along the shoreline in the sultry night air. Taj and I became somehow detached from the rest of the party and he held my hand and gently led me to the house at a distance from the others. We looked at each other and I knew that I was falling in love with this elegant Asian doctor whose gentle ways had attracted me from the start. He squeezed my hand as we reached the others and his smile held a question along with a promise. When we arrived inside the house everyone was talking at once, all excited with our evening out. I wanted to be by myself because of the beating of my heart and the confusing feelings going on in my head. I excused myself as soon as I could and went to bed. I undressed quickly and got into bed. Taj was all I could think about, how he looked, how he walked. I was a teenager again, after my very first date. I just lay and revelled in the memories of our hand-held stroll back to the house. I snuggled down in bed and eventually slept.
On the Sunday morning Taj asked me if I would like to visit the Hindu Temple in Pokhara. We strolled along the paths in the park that held the Temple; there were many families there and the fathers held their children close to them sharing the parenting of the children in a different way to the men of the Western world. The Temple had many steps up to the top and there were many carvings on all sides.
When I saw what the carvings depicted I was very surprised as they showed many positions of sexual pleasures. Taj explained to me that the Hindu philosophy was for human beings to accept the gift of all pleasures. I looked at the people there and understood, perhaps for the first time, that our culture of guilt and fear may not be the way to live.
We strolled in the surrounding park and Taj asked me how I felt about the eastern culture. “I find it strange, but think I like the openness of it,” I replied blushing a bit with embarrassment.
The look he gave me with those beautiful brown eyes left me feeling breathless and I felt my body melting when he took my hand.
Taj said, “I love your spirit, your courage in coming to work so far from home along with your vulnerability at the strangeness of this land.”
“I love this land, the mountain people and the mountain where I live.” I replied.
“I am ashamed of the Western world, the waste and greed I see, now from a different perspective. It’s opened my eyes coming here and seeing the hardship of the mountain people.”
Taj smiles at me and gently takes me into his arms. We kiss and I feel the warmth of our bodies melting together as our embrace becomes closer still.
We pull away from each other as we hear people coming along the path.
“I hope I wasn’t being forward,” Taj says when we are again on our own.
“No of course not, I was just as willing as you”.
“I find you so attractive, not just your looks but what I see inside.”
“I think that it is the difference in our cultures that attracts us to each other, and it may be better to step back a bit before we go too far” I reply because I feel very steamed up and too ready to take an irreversible step.
“I’m sorry if I have offended you but I do feel so close to you,” Taj says quietly.
“Just the opposite,” I reply. “But the feelings I have for you are throwing me into a cauldron of emotions that I find difficult to check. “
Again he holds my hand and we stroll happily through the park. I feel so close to him and my heart is singing as we make our way home to his house.
“Where have you two been,” accuses Taz. “We have been waiting lunch for you and I’m starving”
We apologize profusely and lunch is a comfortable meal with all the family seated around the dining table, making interesting conversation.
Chapter 3
We have to return to the mountain, his sister and I. The week’s work is waiting and we are thrown into it very quickly. The religious festival, Shevhi, is almost upon us and the children are getting very excited about the local god they are to make to carry through the town on the days of the festival. I am unsure of their beliefs but I try to understand by reading up on the Hindu religion. With help from Sahida I begin to enjoy the whole proceedings but I am left tired at the end of each day.
I have been dreaming of Taj and remembering the gentleness of his love. I keep hoping that I will see him again soon but I know that he has a busy life at the hospital in Kathmandu.
I hear a sound at my door, it is Taj, and he has come to see me on my own. I can’t believe my eyes as he enters my little cottage so unlike his parents’ house. I feel bewildered by his presence but when he takes me in his arms then I know that this is what I have been waiting for.
“My lovely girl “he whispers and all my body melts as he gently kisses my lips, my eyes and the hollow of my throat. I have never felt like this before and I hope that it will feel like this forever. He gently undresses me and we make love on my narrow bed overlooking the lake. My feelings are spiritual as well as sexual as we come together in a wonderful ecstasy. I tremble with love as I make us a cup of tea. He follows me into the little kitchen and again we make love, now standing as we forget the tea.
He stays all night and before the light comes over the mountain he leaves, gently untangling himself from my sleepy arms. “I love you,” he whispers, as he leaves my side. “I love you too,” I softly reply.
I awake but feel as if I am still dreaming as I remember the previous night. I feel so light-headed and relaxed and I have a sunny smile on my face. The children are heavenly at school, they are so caught up with their work on the presentation of Shevhi and they are so well behaved and interested, as well as, excited about the coming festival that I feel a freedom from the responsibility of having to discipline them.
I spend the following days almost in a dream and I am in tune with everything around me. The children are splendid and the villagers are eyeing me with gentle smiles. I have a picture of Taj in my head, his beautiful brown eyes, his sculptured brows and long dark lashes. His fine straight nose and his full sensual mouth accompany me through my thoughts, all my waking hours.
The days turn into weeks and it is soon the time of the Hindu Festival.
The preparation for the festival fills our working hours and the whole school is involved in it. The parents also contribute to the making of the food and the atmosphere on our mountain is wonderful. I have never been so happy and uplifted in my whole life.
Everyone in the village is so involved in the festival and the people of Pokhara have their own Goddess whose presence they carry through the streets. The whole area is in a carnival mood and I hope that Taj will have some time from his duties at the hospital so that he will be able to visit us in Pokhara. I am longing to see him again soon. Whilst I am helping the children prepare the festivities I receive a letter from home. My eighteen year old nephew wants to come trekking during his summer- break before he settles down to go to university in the autumn. He would like to join me for the three months on my mountain. My sister realises that I have no room in my cottage but it would be nice for him to have some contact with me before he begins his trek. I love my nephew Mark; he is the first born of my sister so he has always been very special to all the family. There is a backpacker’s hostel in our village so I will be able to get him accommodation close to me before he begins his trek. I am so thrilled with this bit of news and I am waiting to tell Taj about it.
I don’t have long to wait before I see Taj again because he is coming home for the c
elebrations. Sahida tells me they have heard from him and he has sent a letter to me brought by his sister. I can’t wait to open it. It says
My darling Sarah,
I can’t wait to see you on Friday; I have been thinking of you all the time here in Kathmandu and wishing for us to be together again. I love the closeness we have found so surprisingly quickly and the commitment we seem to have together. I miss the things that make us smile. I miss you on your mountain, sat on the terrace you have made into a lovely shaded haven by planting the apple tree and encouraging the wild flowers to grow profusely all around.
I will see you on Friday. All my love
Taj
Our meeting is courteous because his family is there and they are also glad to see him. I am waiting for the time when we are alone and I can feel his strong arms around me. We all attend the festival together. It is a joyous affair. The Goddess is carried through the streets of the village and there is much merriment. The people sing and dance. Taj and I join in the dancing and we have a wonderful time.
We then all go to Pokhara where they have their own Goddess and we again enjoy the carnival spirit of the evening. Taj drives me home in his four-wheel drive car to my mountain cottage. We smile sweetly at our neighbours who are just about to go to their beds after the excitement of the day. We go out to the terrace at the back of the cottage where we can see the lights of Pokhara. We sit there and drink a coffee I have made for us. Even though it is dark there is a moon over the mountains and the night is magical with the perfumes of the wild flowers and herbs I have planted to enhance my cooking. He moves towards me and we fall into each other’s arms. The intimacy of our minds as well as our bodies carries us to a heaven neither of us had experienced before.
The morning is misty with the aftermath of the village bonfire where food had been cooked the night before. I awake in the arms of Taj and reflect quietly on the beauty of his face. His long eyelashes curl on his cheek and there is a dark shadow on his chin. The bristles are soft and silky as I place a kiss on his sensual mouth. He opens his eyes and I see the love he has for me shining there.
“Good Morning darling,” he says, “How are you feeling?”
“Wonderful” I reply.
We snuggle down together in my little narrow bed and the whole world seems to hold its breath.
We are shaken out of our reverie when we see the time. Taj has a six-hour drive to get back to Kathmandu where he is on duty at six o’clock. He has to go and I decide to go with him. The school is closed for five days for the festival and I shall only be kicking my heels around the village. We have a hurried breakfast of eggs and I pack a few things into my haversack. Julian had invited me to stay at the hostel there if I ever wanted a change so I thought that was where I would stay but Taj would not hear of that and said I shall stay with him in his small apartment near to the hospital.
Chapter 4
I am excited at the prospect of being with Taj for a few days and as we drive along by the fast flowing river I tell him about my nephew, Mark, coming to see me.
He is pleased for me to have one of my sister’s children visiting me and he is looking forward to meeting Mark. Our few days pass too quickly and although Taj is on call all the time we do find a little time to be together. Whilst Taj is working I visit Julian at the headquarters of V.S.O. The building houses his living quarters where his wife and young son live so I get to see his family again. I met them when I first arrived and Sue, his wife, had been positively welcoming because she was so pleased to have an another woman from the same country as herself. She loves the life with Julian in Kathmandu but she sometimes longs for a friendly chat with someone from her home country. It was nice for me to have someone to whom I could confide so I told her of my involvement with this wonderful man.
“Come again soon. “Sue shouts as she waves me off from her doorstep. “And bring Taj next time.”
“I will.” I reply, waving back as I pass through the gate.
I get back to the apartment after visiting a small supermarket that Sue has told me about. The shop is very small after our own supermarkets, nothing like Sainsbury’s, and very limited in its goods but I manage to stock up a little in household goods like soap and other necessities. I also buy fresh vegetables and a small chicken so that I can make Taj a farewell dinner. I have booked a flight back to Pokhara for the following day and this will be our last night together for quite some time.
He manages to get home in time for a meal with me but then he has to go back as there has been a road accident in the centre of Kathmandu and all hands has to be on deck. We cling together as he leaves and I know that I will not see him before I have to fly back to Pokhara.
I arrive at the airport in Kathmandu where I have to pass the passport control and the clerk has an officious streak and has a lot of questions as to my credentials.
I patiently answer, trying not to lose my temper and I am then reluctantly allowed to pass through. I take up my seat on the plane and as we fly above the Himalayas I am amazed at the beauty of the mountains and I feel emotional, my spirits rising as I see the magnificence of it all. I remember the time Taj and I have had together and feel the wonderful love we have to share.
Chapter 5
Life at the school is now back to normal and I receive letters from Taj brought by Sahida who will pick up any letters from the Post Office in Pokhara and bring them with her when she comes to school on her scooter. I have also heard from Mark to say he will be coming to see me at the end of June when he will have finished his “A” levels. Time has passed for me and I have less than a year before my time in Pokhara is ended and I shall have to decide what I want to do next. I know I don’t want to leave Taj but I feel awkwardness when I see his parents as I feel that they do not approve of our relationship. When I mention this to Sahida she says that her parents are very liberal in all their views and that she loves me very much.
My life is wonderful. I enjoy my teaching and my friendships with the village people who include me in their many activities. My nearest neighbours are a lovely family and I have their son, Raj, in my class. He is always hanging around me and his mother is forever scolding him but I love his company and I am learning a lot about their culture and language from him. I see Taj as often as I can. He comes to me whenever he has a spare bit of time from his busy schedule. Our closeness is wonderful and I feel his nearness whenever I think of him.
Mark is arriving shortly and I am feeling very excited at the prospect of having him staying in the bunkhouse in the village. He is intending to stay a week before he sets out on his trek. Like all boys, he has many friends and two of them are coming with him. I have arranged their accommodation and I am planning a welcome party for the three of them. I am hoping that Taj will be able to attend and Sahida has promised to help me prepare a party that will include the village people. There is not that many of them and with the apples from my tree and the herbs and vegetables from my fertile garden I should be able to attempt to make a lovely feast. One of my neighbours has chickens and he has promised to sell me three. I have had an oven now for three weeks as the electricity supply has been extended to all the village houses. Our water supply is now in place brought at the expense of our American benefactor, as well as, the hard work of all the villagers who live on our mountain.
Today I have received a letter from Taj to say that he will be able to come to the party and that he will stay for the weekend. I am so happy that my nephew will meet Taj so that when he goes home he will be able to confirm the wonderful description I have given them of my lovely man. I write regularly to my mother and my sister so they know how I feel about Taj. They are very open-minded and they are happy for me.
The day has arrived and Mark and his friends are here in Pokhara. They are all three very tired as they thumbed a lift on an old truck from Kathmandu. They had to load and unload it for the ride and it wasn’t the smoothest of rides. The rest of the way they had trekked. After giving them some soup and
a hot drink, I took them straight to the bunkhouse, as they were dead on their feet. Introductions will wait until tomorrow.
I awoke to a beautiful morning. I have a great lot to do today. The chickens were already cooked, that’s how I made the soup I gave to the boys last night. SahiIda and I chopped the vegetables and made quiches. The chickens have been roasted and cut into pieces, as many as we could divide them into. I have little room in my cottage but my neighbours are keeping some of the prepared plates that I have covered with cloths to keep in cool places ready for the celebrations.