When I'm Gone

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When I'm Gone Page 12

by Katilyn S


  I spotted Chief Parsons at the edge of the group, watching the disaster unfold. Andrew placed a hand on my shoulder and I looked over at him. His eyes were saddened and the corners of his mouth were turned down.

  “What are we going to do?” he asked hoarsely. I shook my head and grimaced.

  “It’s time for the big one,” I stated. Andrew nodded in agreement.

  “It is, isn’t it?” he murmured, his voice still hoarse with shock. The chief cleared his throat and, surprised, we all turned to him expecting a long speech about how we are going to save lives.

  “Okay men. This is it,” Chief Parsons spoke up. “We are going to go inside and wait for our call. Today is going to be a devestating day for everybody. I don’t know how everything is going to turn out, but it will be okay, because we are going to be saving lives while we are at it. But, I am going to go ahead and say this: a lot of people will die today.”

  “Come on guys,” I shouted over the noise and walked back into the station. The men followed me and soon, we were all crowded in the front hall. I sat down on the steps that led to the bedroom and placed my head in my hands.

  “Michael.” I looked up to see Seth standing beside the stairs, looking down at me.

  “Yeah?”

  “You need to call Claire. She is going to be worried sick,” he stated. and held up his cell phone. He started dialing and soon enough I could hear him talking to his girlfriend.

  I pulled my own cell phone out of my pocket and flipped it open. I noticed that I had one new voicemail. I hit play and pressed the phone to my hear. Claire’s voice filled the phone and I listened carefully to her message.

  “Hey Michael. I just wanted to let you know that I am willing to go to dinner with you tonight. Have a great day. Oh, and please be safe. I can’t afford to lose you now. I love you.”

  I checked the time; it had only been sent an hour ago. I moaned and pressed ‘recall’. Once again, I pressed the phone to my ear, wanting...no...needing to hear Claire’s voice again. It went straight to voicemail and I realized that she had a class. The voice recording lady came on and I pressed a button. I waited for the beep before speaking.

  “Claire. Listen to me, everything is fine here. We haven’t been called in yet, but I know we will. Soon. I promise you that I will be hime in time for our dinner tonight. I’m going to be cooking. I-I love you, Claire. Talk to you soon.”

  I pressed ‘end’ and slipped it back into my pocket. I laid my head on my knees and listened to the hysteria build up around me.

  A few minutes later, Seth came back over and sat beside me. I glanced over at him, surprised to see tears glistening on his cheeks.

  “You okay bud?” I asked, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. He nodded tensly, thought for a moment and then shook his head. “What’s up?”

  “What if we don’t make it today, Michael?” His voice cracked and he swiped at the tears on his cheeks. I sighed and watched him carefully. “I mean, that fire....it’s bigger than any fire any of us have been to before. This time...what if, this time we just don’t make it and we end up dying.”

  He broke off, shuddering violently. Sobs racked at his chest and tears dripped off of his nose.

  “Seth,” I said. I waited until he looked up at me before I continued. “Some of us won’t make it today. I know that sounds bad, but it’s true. Now, I don’t know who won’t make it, but I sure as heck know that we will all try to make it out alive. You don’t have anything to worry about. All we need to do is kick some fire butt and save some lives.”

  “Aren’t you scared though? of never seeing your family again? of never seeing Claire again?” When he asked that last question, something inside of me snapped. My body tensed up and the blood drained from my face. It was the first time I had ever thought of never seeing Claire again. I didn’t know if I could go through with it.

  “I am scared. I am scared half to death, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to do my job. I love saving people and if it is to save someone’s life, then I will gladly risk mine,” I declared. Seth smiled underneath his tears and lightly punched my arm.

  “Thanks Michael,” he said. “I feel a little bit better now.”

  “No problem, Seth,” I shot back warmly. “Now let’s go see what’s going on. You head into the kitchen and I’m going to see the chief.”

  “Okay. See you in a few,” he called out as he walked away. I made my way upstairs and down the hallway to a large wooden door. I knocked quickly, hoping for him to be in there.

  “Come on in,” he yelled and I opened the door. Chief Parsons was sitting at his desk, rummaging through a stack of papers. Behind him was his ceiling to floor glass window.

  I could see the North Tower still burning profusely in the background. I grimaced and turned back to the chief.

  “What can I do for you Herring?” His voice was clipped and hurried, as if he was trying to push me out.

  “I want to know if I can go home today,” I sugeested. The comment made him stop what he was doing and look up at me. I repeated, “I want to go home for the day.”

  “Herring, that is crazy talk,” he exclaimed. “You can’t go home today. This is the worst day in history and you want to go home? Why?”

  I took in a deep breath to steady myself. “Becasue, I have someone that I love. And I can’t lose her. Not today. Not now.”

  “You think that we don’t love somebody at home too, son?” he asked. I quickly shook my head. “Because we do. Andrew has a wife and two kids. There are men down there with their own wives and kids. And what do you have? A silly little crush.”

  “Claire isn’t a silly little crush,” I seethed, clenching my fists. Parsons watched me carefully before standing up from his chair, blocking me from the view of the tower. Part of me relaxed and the other part was still rigid with anger. “I love Claire. And I will do anything to stay with her. I want to marry her someday, Chief.”

  “Okay, but does she want to marry you?” he shot back. I felt my heart drop and he pointed towards the door. “Now you get your sorry little butt back downstairs and wait for orders.”

  “Yes, sir,” I grumbled and turned to walk back downstairs. On the way out, I hit the door frame with my fist, causing the floor to shake. As I walked away, I could hear the chief mumbling to himself about something.

  When I hopped off the last step, everybody was silent, watching me. I shrugged and stared back.

  “There is nothing to look at,” I said and stomped off into the kitchen. Nobody followed me and I finally got to relax but only for a minute, because right after I closed my eyes, Seth ran into the room.

  “We just got the call. It looks like we are going to be back-up,” he announced. I nodded numbly and closed my eyes again.

  I was secretly relieved that I didn’t have to go at that instant. But that was before I heard the second explosion that knocked me off my chair.

  Chapter 24-September 11, 2001; 9:01 a.m. (Claire)

  I frowned at the canvas in front of me and used my finger to smudge a line. I picked up my piece of charcoal and started in on the streets below the towers. I was starting to shade them in when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

  “Ms. Barnes?” Jennifer said with anxiety. I glanced over at her and smiled warmly. Her blonde hair was piled into a bun on the top of her head and she was wearing a charcoal smeared apron. She was wringing her hands in anticipation.

  “Yes, Jennifer?” I replied, standing up. She led me to her desk area where her own charcoal drawing was resting on the top.

  “I need your help,” she stated. She pointed to the top of the bird cage where it was blank. Then she gestured to a piece of paper beside her canvas. She had attempted at a lot of hands but it looked like she was having trouble. “I just can’t seem to get the hand right. I want a guy to be holding the cage but I am no good at hands. Could you help me?”

  “Sure,” I told her and took her piece of charcoal. I flipped the paper over and drew a quic
k sketch of a hand. I pointed out the key parts to her before handing her the stick of charcoal. “Now, you try.”

  She sat down and studied my hand once more. Then, she started drawing. Soon enough, a beautifully drawn hand was on her canvas and she leaned back, looking proud of herself.

  “See?” I laughed. “I told you that you could do it.”

  “Thanks, Ms. Barnes,” she replied, her eyes lighting up. I patted her on the shoulder and walked over to one of the other tables where a boy was working on an acrylic painting. I silently watched over his shoulder as he painted a realistic piano on his canvas. Suddenly he turned around and noticed me. Blush crept up his neck and he glanced down at his shoes.

  “Hey, Ms. Barnes,” he muttered.

  “Jonathan,” I greeted him. I looked back at his painting and grabbed his paintbrush. I took a piece of paper and painted the keys of a piano on it. “The pattern is three, two, three, two.”

  “Oh,” he murmured. “I knew something wasn’t right. Thanks, Ms. Barnes.”

  “No problem,” I replied and smiled.

  “Ms. Barnes,” Hope called out from behind me. I turned around and saw her waving me over. I walked towards her and my smile widened.

  “What do you need Hope?” I wondered. She laughed and pointed to her colored pencil drawing. The beautiful dragon was coming to life by the minute.

  “I need some help on the background.” She sat down on her stool and picked up her pencil. “I want to do a castle or something like that, but I can’t seem to get the turrets just right.”

  “Okay,” I murmured. I took the pencil from her and leaned over the canvas. Within minutes, I had drawn a realistic-looking castle equipped with a moat, a drawbridge and even flags.

  “Wow,” Hope whispered in awe. “Thanks so much.”

  “No problem, Hope,” I said.

  “Claire,” said a breathless voice. I looked around, wondering who called me by my first name. I finally noticed Lauren who was standing in the doorway. Her hand was on her chest; her eyes were wide with fear. Her skin was a chalky pale, not her usually flawless pink.

  “Lauren, what is it?” I asked, my voice carrying across the room easily.

  “Turn on the television. Channel 9,” she breathed. “Twin Towers. Attacked.”

  I turned away as one of my students pressed the power button on the television in my room. She changed channels quickly, stopping on channel nine. I knew the color had already drained from my cheeks, but when I saw the news report, my whole body went cold.

  The camera man was pointing his video camera at the Twin Towers. One of them, the South Tower, was fine. But, the North Tower was up in flames. There was a large gaping hole in one side and smoke poured out of it, making the sky turn black.

  “Oh my God,” I heard Jennifer whisper. There were a few murmurs here and there but for the most part it was completely silent as we watched the tower burn. I told the girl to turn the volume up and she complied quickly.

  “...and we have just gotten word that it was a passenger plane that hit the North Tower,” the reporter was announcing. He stood off to the side, a controlled expression on his face. But I could see the fear in his eyes. “A group of men hijacked the plane and flew it into the tower, causing a loud explosion.”

  Suddenly, you could hear a loud rumbling sound and another large passenger plane came into view.

  “Dear, God, no,” I choked out. It hit the South Tower and the explosion was deafening. The reporter and camara man ducked as smoke flew in their direction. When they got situated again, you could hear the sirens wailing as fire fighters drove towards the destruction. People were running away from the towers, screaming and crying.

  I felt a tear slip down my face and I choked back a sob wanting to escape from my throat. My gaze swept the room and I noticed thet a few girls were crying, along with some guys. Finally, my gaze landed on my drawing of the Twin Towers.

  In my drawing, the towers looked fine and safe. Nothing was wrong with them and they stood tall and proud. I tore my eyes away from it and looked back at the television screen. On it, the towers looked anything but safe. Smoke billowed out from each tower, flames licked the sky.

  The reporter was still talking but I tuned him out. I didn’t want to hear about it.

  There had to already be tons of casualties. A passenger plane could hold a lot of people. Poor, innocent people. They had no idea what was going to happen to them. They just got on the plane, thinking they would be home by morning in time to see their families.

  I shook the thoughts out of my head and looked back at the door way. Lauren was still there, a hand pressed to her mouth. Silent tears streamed down her cheeks and her shoulders shook. I caught her eye and motioned for her to come over to me. She did and I placed my hands around her and she sobbed.

  “Claire, what’s going to happen?” she managed. I shrugged.

  “I don’t know. But I don’t think anything bad could happen. These are the Twin Towers. It would be impossible for something really bad to happen to them,” I explained. Lauren nodded at my explanation and then pulled away from me.

  She crossed her arms over her chest and started to walk away. Then she turned back around and forced a smile to me.

  “Let’s hope for the best,” she said, before walking out of my room and down the hall. I stared after her and then tore my eyes away and watched the news. I pulled out a stool and sat down on it, my hands trembling. A lot of my students were already on their cell phones with their parents letting them know that they were okay.

  “Mom?” Jennifer yelled into the phone. “Where are you? Did you get out? Please call me when you get this.”

  She noticed me watched her and she frowned, a tear slipping out of ther corner of her eye.

  “She works at the North Tower,” she explained. I nodded, my eyes wide with shock. A lot of parents must have worked at the World Trade Center.

  “I’m okay dad,” Hope said into her own phone. “I’m going to stay here at school until they find out that everything is okay. Tell mom that I love her. I love you too. Okay, bye.”

  She hung up and slipped the phone into her back pocket. Alex enveloped her into a hug and held her as she cried. I caught his eye and he frowned.

  “Ms. Barnes?” Someone tapped my shoulder and I spun around. A boy that went by the name Richard was wringing his hands. He stared into my face with scared eyes.

  “Yes Richard?” I placed a hand on his shoulder.

  “My-my dad isn’t answering his phone. He works in the North Tower. I’m scared that he hasn’t made it out,” he stuttered. His voice broke at the end and I sighed.

  “It will be okay, Richard. Call him again in about an hour. It might be hard to answer in all of the chaos happening there right now,” I soothed and tried to smile for him. He nodded thoughfully and walked off muttering to himself.

  “I have just gotten word that two other planes are on their way to Washington D.C. Let’s all pray that something happens before they get there,” the reporter guy said into the camera. Smaller explosions were still going off in the towers; even us in the school could hear them on the television.

  I immediately thought of my mom and I paled once again. I placed my head in my hands, whispering to myself.

  “Please no. Please, God, no. It can’t be,” I whispered in anguish. Murmurs of hysteria were building around me and I tried to shut them out. I rocked in my stool and let the tears slip down my cheeks and onto my apron.

  A nudge on my shoulder brought me back to reality and I looked up. Alex stood beside me and grimaced down at me. I wiped the water off my face and wrapped him into a hug. I looked around, surprised that a few of my students were already gone. Alex noticed my tension and he sighed.

  “They left to go home. They said they needed to be with their parents,” he explained. I nodded, suddenly exhausted. I noticed that most of the teenagers were circled in a group, their heads bent towards each other. Most of the girls’ shoulders shuddered
with sobs and the guys squeezed them in tighter.

  “Oh,” I sighed and let another tear roll down my face. I blinked and felt Alex stiffen beneath my arms. I took them away and looked up at him. Fright colored his eyes and he let out a short gasp of air. “Alex?”

  “Michael,” he whispered. Just the name brought butterflies to my stomach. But this time, they left quickly and my stomach lurched. I blanched and stared at Alex in horror. I stood up and wrapped my arms around myself as if a black hole would open any moment. Worried, I paced the room while Alex watched me cautiously.

  “Michael,” I repeated and ran to my desk, wanting my cell phone.

  Chapter 25-September 11, 2001; 9:21 a.m. (Michael)

  “Claire, we are about to be called in. I love you, baby. I will be back, safe and sound, by seven tonight. Don’t worry. I promise you that everything will be fine,” I said and flipped the phone closed. That was the third call in the past ten minutes. Andrew watched me warily and shook his head.

  “Michael, it will be okay. That’s the third call in ten minutes. Calm down,” he warned and placed a hand on my shoulder. I stared down at my phone, flipping it in my hands. Finally, I stuck it back in my pocket and turned to Andrew. Behind him, I saw Seth try to call his girlfriend again. That was his fifth in the past ten minutes.

  “Yo, Seth,” I called out. He glanced over at me, before putting his phone away. He shuffled over to us and tried to smile.

  “Everything will be fine,” Andrew told him. Seth’s tight-lipped grin flickered and he sighed.

  “I’m just worried,” he admitted.

  “Aren’t we all,” Andrew replied, shooting me a look. I rolled my eyes and felt my hand twitch, wanting to pull out my phone. I forced myself to keep my hand on the table.

  It had only been a few minutes after the second explosion and Chief Parsons was on the phone trying to get them to let us go down there. I sighed and fiddled with my leather bracelet, like I always did when I got nervous. I swept my gaze over the men in the kitchen. Most of them were on their phones with wives and a few were watching the damge unfold on a news cast on television.

 

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