Dusk forced back the surge of elation that made him want to fist-pump. Nope. He’d keep it cool. He was the star after all. “Oh, man, that’s fantastic to hear. We weren’t very well known back then.” Not that they were now, but he’d act as if they were.
Blue licked his lips, pale and red-faced all at once. “I really like that your songs are about remaining true to yourself. They really speak to me.”
“I-it’s so great to finally see you in person,” said one of the girls in the back in a voice so quiet Dusk barely understood her. They were all clearly intimidated by his starpower.
Only now Dusk realized he was still holding Lolly’s hand. Sure, he’d meant to be out with Lolly, the interview to come with Stan would make their ‘relationship’ official, and yet he still struggled with how he could be judged.
He squeezed Lolly’s hand harder, despite his heart rattling in his chest. “It’s my brother who writes the songs, but I guess I channel them through the lens of my own emotions. There’s few things as important as being true to yourself.”
Blue nodded, swallowing hard. “I know that photo was leaked, and that’s not right, but... it was really a big thing for me to see that a guy like you can also be into guys.”
“It makes people think when they say nasty stuff,” said the blonde girl with a wide smile.
Dusk was now glad he had the sunglasses on, because he could feel the flush creeping up his neck at the thought of these kids seeing him kneeling in an alleyway in front of Lolly. Yet, it had happened, it wasn’t like he could change that anymore.
Dusk pulled up Lolly’s hand and gave it a quick kiss for courage. “Fuck what anyone says, Baby Blue. You’re the only one who defines who you are.”
“Oh, my God, he gave Pete a nickname,” one of the boys whispered, but it was loud enough for Dusk to hear.
“Canweinterviewyou?” burst out of Blonde’s mouth, and she gasped as soon as the word cluster was done with.
“For our school paper,” added Baby Blue.
Lolly’s warm hand twitched gently in Dusk’s, and his fingers slowly curled, gripping him more firmly. If Dusk not denying his sexuality meant so much to some goth kid he didn’t even know, then it was right to stop being silent.
Everything fell into place.
What he hadn’t managed to be for Dawn back at high school, he could at least try to make up for by being open now. And there would be no better opportunity to talk about his bisexuality than now, when he was with a guy who’d stick around for at least a while.
“Sure. As long as you only publish in two months, ‘cause I’m doing one with Noise. But it’s date-time now.”
“You make such a cute couple,” uttered a mousy girl at the back who’d kept silent until now.
Lolly pressed closer, propelling a flush of heat that reached the ends of Dusk’s ears. He closed his arm around him, and despite having been open about his bisexuality before among friends and perfect strangers, this was the first time he was doing so among potential audience members. It was as exciting as it was scary.
“Thanks. It’s been in the making for a while,” Lolly said with a bright smile. It wasn’t the truth exactly, but Dusk supposed it would sound good and more teenager-friendly than what had really happened.
“Can we please get a photo with you two?” Blonde asked with a sheen of excitement in her eyes, and not that Dusk minded, but it was still a surprise that the request included Lolly.
“Is that okay with you?” Dusk lowered his voice, but then again Lolly had agreed to be a part of this crazy marketing tactic.
Lolly shrugged and gestured for the teens to come closer. “But keep your hands where I can see them. He is mine.”
Dusk laughed, but a thousand tiny unicorns galloped over his heart at those words. “Where will you post it?”
“Under the ‘Dully’ tag on Tumblr and our social media,” the mousy girl said, but then went red and closed her mouth as if she’d swallowed a frog.
“Du...lly…” Dusk said slowly, trying to comprehend it. “We have a tag on Tumblr?”
Baby Blue blinked. “You didn’t know? I mean... there isn’t much on there yet, but it’s been gaining popularity over the past week.”
“There’s even fanart,” the blonde said, typing on her phone ferociously.
Dusk’s eyebrows went higher. “Fanart? What kind of fanart? Is it just porn?” He laughed and teased Baby Blue with his elbow.
“There’s only a few so far, but this one’s the best,” the blonde said, pushing her phone into Dusk’s hands.
The picture on screen was done in a sketchy style, with some color added in a way that made the whole thing look both professional and casual, like something an artist would do for fun while watching TV. It depicted him and Lolly facing each other and holding hands. The sharp lines were softened by soft hues, and he actually smiled when he read a speech bubble over Lolly’s head. It read, ‘In the skates, I’m almost as tall as you.’
A grin exploded on Dusk’s lips. “This is so cute. Did you see it, Lolly?” He leaned closer to show it off, fighting the childish giddiness inside of him.
Lolly smiled. “It’s pretty.”
The blonde exhaled. “Abe’s is such a good artist. I actually watch him for Harry Potter stuff, so maybe he will do more.”
“I sure hope he will. This stuff looks great.” Dusk could still hardly believe people were drawing fanart of him and Lolly. This was incredible. What next? Fanfiction? Maybe being popular because of this wouldn’t be so bad after all.
A touch to Dusk’s cheek startled him until he realized it was Lolly petting him with his knuckles. “That Abe guy really captured your cheekbones,” Lolly said with a dreamy smile.
Dusk couldn’t help himself. It was like being hypnotized. He leaned in for a peck to Lolly’s lips, and of course it was the moment the mousy girl chose for using her selfie stick and capturing their group.
Dusk was surprised to find he didn’t mind anymore.
They agreed to do the interview and asked the kids to wait in the lobby while they got their lunch. As nice as the interaction had been and as much as Dusk was happy to talk to the teens a bit later, he was relieved to be alone with Lolly again. The way Lolly had professed his claim on Dusk earlier still warmed something inside Dusk as they walked between the tents and toward the area with food.
“Should we start a couple Instagram?” Dusk laughed, but was completely serious. “And call it ‘Dully_4_ever’?”
“Or maybe just Dully,” Lolly said, directing his steps toward a truck that sold fancy-looking hot dogs with Asian-inspired toppings.
Dusk swallowed. Was ‘4_ever’ not in the cards? “Dully it is then. First photo-op eating hot dogs?”
“We should feed each other,” Lolly said, but he had to shut up as they approached the truck and placed their orders.
Dusk especially ordered a lot of toppings to get Lolly messy, and then they tried to take a selfie, but it kept turning out blurry, so they had to ask the truck owner to take one of them in the end. Once the photo was done, they cleaned up a bit and sat on a secluded bench to finish their cold hot dogs in peace.
“Should I really post it though?” Dusk stared at the last piece of sausage in his bun. He felt as if he were standing at the edge of a cliff and could either stop for good, or jump. “I’m not embarrassed. If anything, I want to show off that I have a guy like you. I just don’t want to only be known for that. What I want is for people to know our songs by heart, and for them to connect with our music. How do I know if this is the right way to get there?”
Lolly sighed and licked off some mustard from the corner of his lips. In the spot beneath a tree they heard angry music blowing from one of the concerts nearby, they saw people contently chatting and eating their food, and yet Dusk knew something had changed. It was one thing to be outed by someone else, but if he posted the picture willingly, there would be no going back.
“You know, I think if people see someone lik
e you can like guys and be open about it, it might change a life for someone out there. And it can also give you a new audience. It doesn’t matter if those new people will be in it for your sexuality first, because at the end of the day, their friends will hear your music too,” Lolly said.
Dusk pondered his words but then swallowed the last piece of the hot dog.
He pressed ‘post’ on the newly created Instagram account.
“And that’s why I l—” Dusk had to bite his tongue “—ike you so much.” He entwined their sauce-stained fingers.
Chapter 8
Abe had never slept as soundly as on the narrow cot with Dusk. It was his favorite place on the bus, and as the vehicle moved, lulling him into a pleasant state of bliss, he read the various articles on The Underdogs that had appeared online in the past three weeks. Some of the fanart he’d secretly drawn on his laptop were hung on the wall as well, and it made him feel all the more appreciated that none of the guys knew the artist had been with them all along. Mage had once even said that the art style complemented their music, and Abe tucked that praise into a drawer at the back of his mind, to retrieve once things went bad for him and he needed picking up.
But so far, there were no signs of a storm coming.
He rolled his head and rested his cheek against Dusk’s pec, which got him a smile when Dusk looked away from the magazine he was reading to meet Abe’s gaze. Abe could swear he heard Dusk’s heart skipping a beat against his ear.
“What’s up?” Dusk asked. It wasn’t only a simple question, but something they’ve been jokingly saying to each other, parroting the first words Abe had said to Dusk.
“Are we the only people on this bus having sex?” Abe asked, grinning when his eyes strayed to an erotic piece of art of his own making. He was very proud of how he’d captured the firmness of Dusk’s body in that one.
The magazine was down on the mattress. It was the one Stan worked for, Noise, but the rainbow-themed issue that included an interview with The Underdogs was only coming out next week, so there were definitely more interesting things Dusk could be doing rather than reading last month’s release.
Dusk raised his eyebrows, but his gaze drifted off, as if he were pondering his answer. “I think Sid hooks up with people sometimes. I’ve seen Mage flirt with girls a few times but it never goes anywhere, and Dawn… duh, he’s so shy he makes me do his grocery shopping if there is no self-service.”
Abe shifted his body so that he half-lay across Dusk while his ass sat on the mattress. “Is Dawn a virgin?”
“As far as I know. I think he’d have told me if something happened in that department.” Dusk snorted. “Sometimes I think it’s for the better, because if someone hurt him I’d end up in jail for assault.”
“And what? You want him to be lonely? Don’t you want him to get some? He’s your lovely little brother,” teased Abe, rubbing his nose against Dusk’s neck. To be fair, he really did believe Dusk’s protectiveness of Dawn was one of the reasons for the guy’s absurd levels of shyness.
“Oh, my God… Just the thought of him in any sexual situation makes me cringe. He’s not lonely since he’s got us. If he wanted to date, I guess I could help him out. Maybe. But he’s never said much about it.” The expression on Dusk’s face suggested he didn’t even like the idea of it, which was ridiculous. Sure, Dawn looked young for his age, but he was twenty-one.
“It’s not the same, is it? Would you be fine never having sex?” Abe asked, playing with Dusk’s hair.
“Well, no, but I’m… you know I’m horny all the time. Maybe he’s asexual,” Dusk said, but it was obvious he didn’t believe it himself because they’d talked a bit before about Dawn expressing sexual interest in the past by means of a comment he’d made about a musician he liked, or when a dirty joke slipped from his lips after too many beers. “I can’t do it for him.”
“But it’s not just that. It’s a different kind of interaction,” Abe said, looking at Dusk, maybe for a bit too long. As much as he enjoyed the no-strings-attached sex, the illusion of romance gave him an unexpected boost of confidence and energy. It felt good to have a guy he liked adore him and chase him, no matter how temporary this thing was meant to be. “I think he wants it and just doesn’t know how to get it.”
Dusk sighed and stroked Abe’s hair. “He does have this… romantic soul, so it might be hard for him. It’s not like he’s gonna meet his guy at a gas station.” Dusk’s gaze got so tender Abe had to look away, scared off by the affection in it. “Especially on the road. He’s not a hookup kinda guy. But maybe you’re right. Maybe I should try and set him up with someone. I don’t wanna cage him. I just want to make sure he’s safe.”
“You can’t be happy always being safe,” whispered Abe, unsure how that even popped into his mind. He met Dusk’s gaze, only to close his eyes and kiss the firm breastbone.
Dusk gave him a crooked smile. “Gotta risk a bit, right? Talk to that person you like, even if it could earn you a slap in the face.”
Abe grinned and moved his face closer to Dusk’s. He always smelled so good, of the kind of cologne that made heads turn, and when Abe cuddled his face into Dusk’s hair, it was like wrapping himself in a cocoon he never wanted to leave. He’d never met anyone he felt this comfortable with. His fingers briefly moved over Dusk’s wrist, and the empty space on his own suddenly became all the more noticeable. He should have asked Dusk to return the Aladdin bracelet long ago, but he was almost afraid of the answer he might get, since he hadn’t seen it since the fair.
It was better to wait, because that potential answer could be a reason to leave, and he wasn’t ready yet.
“And look where that got you. I bet you don’t get that many slaps.”
Dusk pulled Abe into a tight hug. “What can I say? I can be charming when I want to.”
Abe snorted but let himself be held, sinking into the perfect comfort of Dusk’s strong arms. “You’re always charming.”
“Seriously? Even when you had to tie my hair back when I was puking after that mix of wine and tequila?”
Abe laughed, curling up into a ball. “Especially then.”
“I bet that wouldn’t have gotten many likes on our Instagram.”
“You think? That person who made the video montage of our photos probably would have made it work somehow. Added some dramatic music to suggest real struggle and finished it up with some sweet pictures.”
“Oh, man… That slide show. It was everything. Those closeups on the holding hands!” Dusk started laughing. “Do you know I secretly saved it? In case the poster deletes it.”
Abe’s face flushed with heat when he realized there was barely anything about the band in that video. Just a tribute to the two of them. He should be laughing it off, because they were just fuckbuddies, but he never did. And nor did Dusk. They were both walking through dangerous territory, and as much as Abe enjoyed it, he needed to make sure he’d know when to jump out of quicksand.
But then Dusk pulled him in for a long, slow kiss and all worries melted away for its duration.
“Wait a sec, okay? I’ve got this itch I’ve gotta scratch,” Dusk said, and before Abe could question what on earth that meant, he pulled away and got up from the cot. He rushed beyond their blanket-covered nest and disappeared from sight as soon as the curtain fell back into place.
Sighing softly, Abe reached to his backpack and pulled out his laptop. Regardless of where he stood with Dusk, he’d grown to like all the members of The Underdogs. But it wasn’t only that. When he’d first heard Dawn referred to as a genius, he’d secretly laughed it off, but the truth was that this guy, who could only legally drink since last January, was pretty brilliant, and the music he made with the rest of the band—worthy of reaching as many people as possible. So Abe drew the fanart, he posted anonymously about the band, flaring up discussions so that they would be more likely to trend.
And it didn’t really bother him to be so closely associated with the other guys. It didn’t
bother him that people considered him and Dusk a couple. He was just starting to wonder if basing the marketable image of The Underdogs on this supposed relationship wasn’t tying him down too much. The money for doing what he enjoyed doing anyway was nice though.
“Dawn, you’re a virgin, right?” Dusk’s voice came from behind the curtain, and Abe cringed in secondhand embarrassment.
The bus slid off its path suddenly, as if Dawn had avoided a large hole in the asphalt. “What is wrong with you?” he said in a slightly panicked voice.
Beyond a burst of laughter that must have come from Sid, Abe heard Mage explode with anger.
“Exactly! What the hell’s wrong with you? You can’t just randomly ask people private questions like that!”
“Why not? We’re brothers.” Abe could just about envision Dusk shrugging his bare shoulders. “I wanted to know if I’d missed something.”
“No, you haven’t,” Dawn groaned. “But it’s not something I really wanna talk abou—”
Dusk interrupted him. “Okay, but would you want to not be?”
Abe snickered and mindlessly typed in the ‘Dully’ tag on Tumblr, listening to the sounds of rage and Dusk’s calm voice mixing into a concoction that he didn’t really want to be a part of. Still, he liked that in his own twisted way Dusk created this shitstorm because he cared about his brother. He also took to heart all the things Abe had told him.
Mage was adamant that Dawn would do his own thing in his own time, and Sid kept suggesting that maybe Dawn had a secret kink that made finding a partner difficult. But when Sid made a wild guess that maybe Dawn loved smelling people’s socks, Dawn protested so ferociously, the bus needed to be stopped. With Dawn far too upset to stay behind the wheel, Mage took over the driving.
Abe in the meantime had looked through some new fanfiction about them online, and he found several snippet-like stories about their life together. He personally always found real-person fanfic kind of creepy, but some of the cheesy pieces, one of which reimagined them as space pilots about to crash into an unknown planet, were kind of nice to read. Mostly because he liked his real-life relationship with Dusk so much more than the idealized stories of their first meeting.
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