by Rachel Hanna
* * *
It was getting colder in January Cove by the day, and Addison was having a hard time adjusting for some reason. Right now, she wanted to be somewhere warm and cozy, maybe a tropical island where no one knew her.
Deep down, she realized that she was becoming a bit of a whiny baby and she hated that trait in other people. Addison had always been the renegade of the Parker family, always going her own way. Now, she felt like curling up in the corner in a fetal position and waiting for nine months to pass.
Her mother was right about one thing. She was nowhere near prepared to hand her baby over to a stranger. It wasn’t that she had any problem with adoption per se. In fact, she’d love to adopt a child herself. One day. Maybe.
Giving up her own flesh and blood seemed impossible. But didn’t hard decisions always seem impossible anyway?
Still, she felt too conflicted to make a decision just yet. After all, this wasn’t a decision to be made overnight.
She pulled her sweater around her tighter and walked toward the ferry. Maybe she’d take a quick run to the island to clear her head. The last time she’d ridden the ferry was ages ago when old Mr. Denton used to make the daily run. Now that January Cove was more popular, she hoped that the ferry wasn’t full this time of year because she really just wanted to be alone.
“And we meet again?” she heard a voice say from behind the ferry. There was Clay… again. Was he following her?
“Clay… Are you taking a ride too?”
He smiled, and those memorable dimples reappeared. She remembered being a young girl and practically drooling over the handsome Clay Hampton. He was everything any red blooded American Southern girl would want. Tall, dark, handsome, dimples, tight butt…. Wait, her hormones were getting the better of her again.
“Um, Addy, I run the ferry service.” She felt really stupid now.
“See? This is why I should’ve subscribed to the The Cove Chronicle. I’m so behind on my local news,” she said laughing while simultaneously blushing. How could she be so cold and so hot at the same time?
“Going to the island? In this cold? And this early in the morning? That’s not the Addison Parker I remember.”
“Well, people change, Clay.” She didn’t mean to sound snide, but it probably came off that way. His smile lingered.
“Come on aboard, ma’am,” he said, reaching his hand out to help her onto the ferry. She paused for a moment, looking up into his handsome face, and realized just how honest and trustworthy Clay seemed. Of course, she’d thought the same about Jim when she met him and look how that turned out.
“Am I the only passenger?” she asked, looking around.
“My one and only,” he said, and a shiver went up her spine. She kind of liked the sound of being someone’s “one and only”, but not in the sense that Clay meant at the moment. She’d thought she was Jim’s one and only, but apparently it was her, Jim and Tiffani with an “i”… and who knew who else?
“Wow. I expected more people on here this morning.”
“Not many people go to the island during this time of the year.”
“Then why still run the ferry?” she asked as she stepped aboard and took a seat on one of the built-in benches.
“Because if even one person needs to get to the island, I want to be here to do it.” He smiled as he began to back the ferry out of the dock.
“But doesn’t it cost more money than you make to cart one person?” she asked, her nosiness getting the best of her.
“It does, but this sea water runs through my veins and I enjoy being the captain of this ferry,” he said. “So what brings you here this morning, Addy?” He cocked his head at her with a smile, his beautiful blue eyes staring at her in a way that made her a little bit uncomfortable and comfortable at the same time.
“Just needed some space. And time to think. I’ve got some decisions to make…”
“Divorce tends to create a lot of decisions that need to be made.”
“Yeah…” she said, toying with the idea of telling him about her pregnancy, but her fear got the better of her.
“I’m sorry Jim’s giving you such a hard time. If you need any help…”
“I appreciate the offer,” she said laughing. “But I’ve got four brothers who’d be sorely disappointed if I let you kill Jim and not them.” Clay let out a huge laugh and nodded his head.
“Very true. But maybe I can be backup just in case one of them is too much of a sissy to finish the job.” Addison laughed at that. Clay had always been the one person who could push her brothers’ buttons. Male rivalry for sure.
Clay’s cell phone rang. He looked down and smiled. “It’s my Dad. I’d better take this. He gets confused…”
“Oh, please take it. Don’t let me interfere. I’m going to sit back here and clear my mind for awhile,” she called as she stood and walked to the back of the ferry. Clay nodded and answered his phone.
“Hi, Dad…”
Chapter 6
Staring out into the water, Addison pondered her situation. On the one hand, she wanted to make sure she gave her baby the best life possible. And wouldn’t that be with another family that had a mom and a dad who would care for him or her? Wasn’t she being selfish to think that she could do both jobs?
Maybe she didn’t need to do both jobs. After all, her mother had been a widow for most of Addison’s growing up years and had done just fine. Why couldn’t Addison be as sure of herself?
Of course, her mother hadn’t had a choice. And if she had been in Addison’s situation, what choice would she have made? The situations were very different, like apples and oranges.
As the cold wind whipped her face, she felt the familiar sting of warm tears rolling down her cheeks. One thing was for sure, she had to make a decision soon because the stress was doing more harm than good for her and the baby. And if she only got one act as a mother, she wanted to protect her baby from that kind of stress.
“You okay?” Clay asked. He was standing behind her, and she hadn’t even noticed when they docked at the island.
“What? Oh. Yeah. I’m fine,” she said, quickly wiping a stray tear off her cheek. “You must think I’m a sissy just like my brothers.”
“I don’t think you’re a sissy,” he said, sitting down beside her on the bench seat. “In fact, I think you’ve got more courage in your little finger than most people have in their whole bodies.”
“Really?” she asked, a look of surprise apparent on her face.
“Absolutely. I remember when Jackson told me you were taking off to Atlanta to pursue your dream of being an interior designer. That took guts to leave January Cove and your whole family.”
“A lot of people do stuff like that, Clay,” she said smiling. “Again, I think you’re a bit biased.”
“It took courage, Addy, and you still have that same courage.”
“How do ya figure that? I’ve been crying since I got here!”
“Because you left Atlanta and your marriage when you realized that Jim was the scum of the Earth. You didn’t stay and live in misery. You did the harder thing and came back here to start all over. That takes courage too.”
“Thanks, but I sure don’t feel courageous right now.” She sighed and stared at him for a moment. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Why did you stay in January Cove all these years? I mean, I remember what a smart guy you were in school. You could’ve easily gone to college and had a jet set lifestyle. You were always bigger than this town.”
He chuckled. “Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.”
“You lost me,” she said, secretly blaming her pregnancy hormones again.
“I remember that you were a great singer when we did karaoke at the fall festival and yet you didn’t pursue singing. Why?” he asked.
“Because it wasn’t the right thing for me. Singing doesn’t light me up inside like decorating does.”
“Well, t
he same thing can be said for me, I suppose. I could’ve gotten my business degree and run some big company, but that doesn’t float my boat, so to speak,” he said with a smile, obviously enjoying his pun. “I always wanted to be a ferry boat captain. I never want to live somewhere that I can’t feel the ocean breeze or have the salt water clinging to my skin. I’m happy in January Cove, and I’ve come to accept that it’s okay not to desire some busy life in a city just because I might make more money.”
What a refreshing viewpoint, she thought. Jim was always chasing the almighty dollar, no matter what. He had to have the best cars, the biggest TV, the latest electronic gadget. Addison had never cared about that kind of stuff, but it was the world she lived in so she accepted it. She cared more about her mother’s peach preserves and how she missed them. She cared about finding the best fabric for her latest upholstery project. She cared about using her artistic talent to decorate a room that filled people with joy in their own homes.
“It’s great that you know who you are,” she said. “I feel like I’ve lost myself over the last few years. I don’t know who I am anymore. I can’t make simple decisions for myself because Jim always made our decisions. I feel a bit lost in my own mind.” That was the most honest she’d been in a long time. Clay was just easy to talk to.
“Addy, you’re still in there. You just have to strip away what everyone else wants and decide what you want. I don’t know what kind of decisions you’re struggling with, but you’ll make the right choice because I know you’ll make it with love.”
As soon as he said it, she knew.
She knew without a doubt that she was keeping her baby no matter what. She loved her baby already, and that love would be enough to sustain them both.
Her heart smiled. She was scared, for sure, but she took a deep breath. A sigh of relief.
“Thank you.”
“I didn’t do anything…” he said looking at her with confusion.
“You just did more than you know,” she said as she leaned across the seat and hugged him. He was so warm, and it felt good to be in the arms of a caring man for once in her life. She almost didn’t want to let go, but this was Clay. He was like a brother to her and she was letting her feelings get clouded.
She pulled back and promptly blushed. Dang Scottish heritage.
“So, tell me about your family,” she said, changing the subject.
“Well, I already told you about Mom and Dad. My sister, Amy, lives just outside of Nashville now.”
“Wow, Amy moved? That’s surprising. I thought she’d never leave January Cove!”
“Well, her choices were limited here. Amy has a degree in music, so she needed to be close to the music scene. She’s the mother of a three year old too.”
“Really? I didn’t even know she was married!” Addy said. By the look on his face, she knew she’d said something wrong.
“Amy’s never been married. She wanted a child and chose to have one out of wedlock. The guy’s never been involved. Doesn’t want to be.”
“And how do you feel about that?” Addison asked, bracing herself for the onslaught of judgement he was sure to have about such a decision to have a baby outside of marriage.
“I think my sister is a strong woman and a fantastic mother. I adore my nephew, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. A single mother has to be a tough cookie, and I respect her for it.”
Addison literally wanted to kiss him right now. He was amazing. How had she never seen that?
“So, you want to take a walk?” he asked, pointing to the island.
“Sure.”
As they walked, Addison caught up on all of the gossip of January Cove. Clay talked about his father’s progressive illness and his mother taking care of him. It was good to catch up with someone who had no agenda. She talked about Jim and what he’d done, about their life together and the loneliness. He was a good listener, and she felt a lot better after their talk.
“Hey, what’s that sign over there?” she asked, pointing back to January Cove’s main coast that she could see off in the distance.
“Oh, that’s the old Mallory plantation house. It’s up for sale.”
“Really? Gosh, I always loved that place. Remember when we had the cotillions there? All those girls dressed in beautiful dresses. Thank God my mother never made me go,” she said laughing.
“It’s a beautiful place, but Mr. Mallory passed a few years ago and his estate is finally selling it off. It’d make a great bed and breakfast.”
“You’re right. January Cove needs another B&B, especially right here in town.”
“It needs some work, but it could be restored to something beautiful,” he said. “I’ve never told anyone this, but I’ve thought a few times about buying it myself and restoring it.”
“So that must mean you’re really good with your hands?”
“Excuse me?” he said, his eyes as wide as saucers.
“Oh, gosh, I didn’t mean…” she said, cackling with laughter. “That didn’t sound good, did it?”
“No, it sounded just fine to me…” he stammered.
“Can we change the subject?” Her face burned with embarrassment.
“To answer your question, yes. I am good with my hands,” he said with a wink. She blushed even more. “I’ve done contractor work for years on the side.”
Addison smiled when he let her off the hook with the contractor statement. “I would love to decorate that place. Can you imagine what it looked like inside during Christmas back in its heyday? I bet it was gorgeous. I can see fires roaring in the fireplaces and Christmas china on the dining room table…” she closed her eyes and thought of the possibilities. Except she was a broke soon-to-be single mother and not anywhere near owning a B&B. “Oh well. Maybe one day,” she said softly into the wind. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“How in the world would you be able to buy a place like that? I mean, the ferry business is a little….”
“Slow?” he asked with a chuckle.
“Yeah.”
“Can I tell you a little secret?”
Addison leaned in like they were surrounded by a crowd. “I love secrets.”
“The ferry business is just a hobby for me. It’s not where I get my income. I just let everyone think that.” Clay’s eyes twinkled as he told her his secret.
“Seriously? What do you do then?”
“I’d tell you, but I’d have to kill you.” His face went serious for a moment, and she considered the fact that she was on an isolated island with him. Then he started laughing. “Good Lord, you looked terrified for a second!”
“I was just acting!” she said, slapping him on the arm playfully.
“Sure… But seriously, I have some Internet businesses I started a few years ago. A few retail websites and such. That provides my income, and the ferry stuff is just for fun since my sites run themselves most days.”
“Why don’t you tell anyone?”
“I guess I’m just a private person. I like my anonymity. Besides, when you tell people you work online, they always assume a couple of things. For one, they think it’s easy and want me to teach them everything that it took me years to learn. Secondly, they think I must work in porn because that’s the only way to make income on the Internet,” he said laughing.
“Do you?” she asked giggling.
“Maybe. And I might be hiring for a new female lead…” he said looking her up and down. Addison wanted to slip her enlarging belly out for his review, but decided to keep her secret at the risk of not getting a laugh for once.
“Well, I’m glad you have such a thriving business, Clay. Really. You deserve it.”
“Thanks.”
“Why haven’t you ever found a Mrs. Hampton?” she asked as they walked back toward the ferry.
“I was engaged once, but she wasn’t my type at all. A model.”
“Oh yeah. I remember that. Jackson showed me her picture once. Samantha?”<
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“Yeah.” He was quiet for a few moments. “And there hasn’t been anyone else who can meet the demands of a busy ferry captain, I guess.” His face looked a little distant. A little sad. And that made her sad.
Clay deserved someone fantastic by his side. He was a man’s man with a soft heart. He’d always been the type that would do anything for anybody, constantly coming to the rescue of people all over town. When they’d had a flash flood once, he spent the day pulling people out of dangerous situations in his truck. When a hurricane hit one year, he’d gone all over town helping people board up their windows, including the Parkers.
He was funny and handsome, but there was a lot more to Clay than met the eye. He had an old soul, but Addison never could figure out what kept him from finding love for himself. Now in his 30’s, she would’ve bet that he’d have been married with kids by now, but here he was captaining a small ferry boat with one passenger. Seemed like a waste.
They climbed aboard the ferry and Clay took his spot at the helm. “Hey, you want to steer this thing?”
“Me? I’m not even a good driver of cars, and you want me to steer the ferry? You must not hold this vessel in high regard, Captain.” She pulled her sweater tighter around her and tied it with the belt to avoid if blowing open in the ocean breeze.
“I trust you,” was all he said. Her stomach felt like it had butterflies flying around inside of it. Why did that keep happening to her? She decided it was hunger. Yes, pregnant women were hungry, and that must be what was going on.
“Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” she said as she walked up to the large steering wheel. The ferry was old, no doubt about it. It didn’t have the technological advances newer boats would have, but it had history. And Clay seemed to be big on history and tradition.
“You’ve got to come closer,” he said, pulling her in front of him and reaching his arms around her body as he placed her hands on the steering wheel. All of the sudden, she was very aware of his presence. No longer did he feel like “brother Clay”, but like a man. A warm, handsome, kind-hearted man that had her in his arms. Or at least had his arms around her. She could feel the strength of his chest pressed against her back, a strong, steady force holding her up. She could feel the warmth of his skin seeping through his shirt, and every part of her suddenly wanted to turn around and put her head on his chest. Weird.