“Cool,” Marcus said. He glanced over to the food table.
Think of something to say, Riley ordered herself. Anything! It wasn’t so easy, though. Riley didn’t know if it was because she was nervous, or because she’d had a crush on Marcus for such a long time, but for some reason, carrying on a conversation with him was harder than with anyone else she knew.
“Do you go snowboarding in Aspen, too?” she blurted out. She was pretty sure she already knew the answer, but at least it was something to say. Something to fill the awkward silence between them. Something to keep the conversation going before Marcus broke away and drifted off somewhere else, to talk to someone else….
“You know it!” he said, flashing her that grin that made Riley feel wobbly inside. Then he started going on and on about snowboarding…. Riley wanted to pay attention; she tried to pay attention, but her mind was already racing ahead. When would she tell Marcus about Secret Snowflake? Was there a casual way to work it into the conversation? She didn’t want to wait until after the 3C performance…. She didn’t want to wait, period….
And then Riley realized that she didn’t really want to tell him first. She wanted to hear him say it.
Go ahead, Riley thought to Marcus. Tell me. If I’m your Secret Snowflake, say it now.
“And really, my new snowboard is so much better than all the rest that upgrading was a no-brainer….”
It was useless. Riley could tell she was going to have to help Marcus along.
“Yeah, definitely a no-brainer,” she said. “Hopefully you’ll have perfect snow in Aspen.”
“They make it, you know,” Marcus told her. “All the resorts make their own. You can’t count on nature, not when it comes to perfect skiing snow.”
That was it—her opening.
“So… speaking of snow,” Riley said. “Secret Snowflake reveal is coming up, huh? Do you think it will be before or after the performance?”
Marcus shrugged.
“I kind of hope it’s before,” she heard herself say. “I had the best Secret Snowflake. All my presents were amazing. I can’t wait to find out who it is!”
Marcus made a face. “You’re lucky,” he replied. “Mine was the worst!”
Riley blinked. Had she—had she heard him right?
Did he really just say worst?
As in, Riley’s gifts were the worst?
As in, Riley was the worst?
But—she’d worked so hard—
She had really, really tried—
“Nothing but stupid homemade junk,” Marcus was saying. “I don’t think my Secret Snowflake spent any money on me!”
Riley felt the color drain from her face; her skin was suddenly cold and clammy.
“I threw one of them away—it was this weird origami thing—and then I found it in my desk the next day,” Marcus continued, laughing. “It was like a bad boomerang. I couldn’t get rid of it!”
Bad boomerang.
Riley’s face didn’t feel clammy anymore. Now it was burning like it was on fire. Marcus was still talking, but she wasn’t listening; somehow, her brain had managed to shut down her ears, because Riley could not bear to hear one more mocking word—
The book, she thought with a lurching, sick feeling in her stomach.
It was just waiting under the tree, the book in which she’d invested so much—not just her creativity and her energy and her time, but something more, a small piece of who Riley was inside. In her heart. And one thing was certain—Riley couldn’t just leave a piece of her heart under the tree for Marcus to sneer at.
She turned away from him stiffly, not even trusting herself to speak without her voice quavering. Riley’s eyes were filling with tears, and she could already tell they were going to feel so good and cool when they spilled onto her burning cheeks—but not here, not in the music room in front of everyone, especially Marcus.
Not here.
Riley walked over to the tree as if she were on autopilot and scooped up the book in one swift motion. She forced herself to walk—slowly and steadily—to the door. But once she was in the hallway, away from all those eyes, she broke into a run.
Riley didn’t know exactly where she was running. If she could’ve, she would’ve run all the way home and hidden in her bedroom until, well, forever. Or at least until the new year.
But she couldn’t leave school in the middle of the day—not even if she was in danger of dying of embarrassment and the worst hurt feelings she’d ever experienced.
The bathroom was right around the corner. It would have to do.
Riley ducked inside and found, to her relief, that it was deserted; thankfully, everyone else was at the party. She didn’t know what she would say or do if someone saw her and asked what was wrong.
Where to begin?
Riley took off her glasses, leaned her head against the cold tile wall, and squeezed her eyes shut. Two tears slipped down her cheeks; Riley sniffed and tried to wipe them away, but more followed.
Stop, she told herself fiercely. What was the point of crying about it? It was too late now; Secret Snowflake was already ruined; all the gifts she’d made for Marcus were basically hated. Tears weren’t going to make things better. Riley would need to travel back in time and get a giant do-over, because she should’ve done everything—every single thing—differently.
But that was a silly dream. A stupid wish. She couldn’t undo, couldn’t fix anything. She definitely couldn’t forget the way Marcus had talked about all the gifts she’d made. Like they were worthless. Like they were less than worthless.
But not this one, Riley thought, staring at the book in her hands. She was glad that she’d rescued it from the tree—and saved it from more of Marcus’s mockery.
She flipped through it randomly, scanning the pages, searching for—what? Riley wasn’t quite sure. One of the verses, from a poem called “On Giving,” caught her attention. Riley paused to read it.
Let all your troubles melt away,
Like snowflakes on a sunny day.
A gift from the heart, beyond all measure,
Is worth far more than any treasure.
Suddenly, Riley’s eyes felt a lot less watery. She read the words again and didn’t feel like crying anymore.
The things I made weren’t worthless, Riley thought. They were priceless.
Why was she standing alone in the bathroom, crying, blaming herself for ruining Secret Snowflake? She’d done her part. She’d been the best friend she could possibly be—and not just to Marcus, but to Sophia and Jacob and even Alice, who she barely knew before Secret Snowflake began.
Riley raised her head, put her glasses back on, and looked at her tear-streaked face in the bathroom mirror. I’m not embarrassed, she thought. He should be embarrassed!
Marcus might have forgotten that Secret Snowflake wasn’t about getting gifts—but Riley sure hadn’t. Maybe if he’d been less worried about how much each one had cost, he might have noticed how much time and energy she put into them. He might even have noticed how each one was specially made for him and him alone. Marcus talked a lot about how much things cost, Riley suddenly realized, as if that mattered. And he focused an awful lot on things that Riley didn’t really care about—and that was fine, but it made her start to doubt how much she had assumed they had in common. Sure, she could be interested in someone who loved sports—but not someone who measured worth in dollars and cents. And definitely not someone who would throw a handmade gift in the trash like it was garbage.
Secret Snowflake had been really special to Riley—every moment of it—and she wasn’t going to let Marcus’s rudeness take that away from her. All those moments, daydreaming and planning and imagining… all those hours spent crafting, one of Riley’s favorite things to do…
Not to mention all the thrilling wonder about her Secret Snowflake’s real identity, which had added so much extra sparkle to the season.
Riley paused. Marcus wasn’t my Secret Snowflake, she realized. If it had been Ma
rcus, of course, he would have told her right then and there—not started trashing the gifts he’d received.
Besides, Riley’s Secret Snowflake was someone who was kind and thoughtful. Which—she now knew—ruled Marcus out entirely.
Riley grabbed a paper towel and ran it under cool water. She wiped her face and looked at herself in the mirror again. No more tears, she thought. Her face already looked less red. She took a few deep breaths. Was she ready to go back to the party? She wanted to know, more than anything, who’d left her those special gifts. If she went back to the party, she’d be able to find out. Whoever it was, they were a lot more deserving of Riley’s time than Marcus. Maybe if Riley had been paying more attention to who Marcus really was—instead of who she wanted him to be—she would have realized all that sooner. Better late than never, she thought.
“The concert!” Riley suddenly gasped out loud, her words echoing off the tile walls. She’d rushed out of the music room so fast that she had forgotten all about the 3C performance—the very last one of the year. She couldn’t bear to miss it—not over someone like Marcus.
But Mr. Mac had said that 3C would sing on the early side—maybe just ten minutes into the party. Was Riley too late? Was the performance already under way? Or—worse—over already?
She wanted to sing, now more than ever.
She at least had to try to make it in time!
After one last glance in the mirror to make sure it didn’t look she’d been crying, Riley flew out of the girls’ bathroom and raced through the hall so fast that she nearly skidded in her sparkly shoes. She strained her ears listening, desperately hoping that she wouldn’t hear the strains of 3C singing one of their songs. So far, so good…
Riley was breathless by the time she reached the music room. She didn’t hear anything—but through the narrow window in the door, she could see that everyone in 3C had assembled on the risers. Mr. Mac was at the keyboard, getting ready to play….
Riley scurried in and pushed through the crowd. “Sorry—oops—excuse me, sorry!” she murmured as she made her way to the risers. Sophia gave her a look—half exasperation, half relief—as she moved aside to make room for Riley to reach her spot. Then Sophia gave her a half shrug with her palms up, as if to say, “What happened?”
“Tell you later,” Riley mouthed as she took her place next to Jacob.
Riley exhaled, hard, and glanced over at Mr. Mac. She wanted to tell him she was sorry for being late—for almost missing the performance—but when he smiled warmly at her, she realized she didn’t need to apologize. That was the real Christmas spirit, of course, and the shock of Marcus’s meanness had almost made her forget. Christmas, first and foremost, was about kindness and compassion. Forgiveness and understanding.
It was about love, in all its wondrous forms.
“Glad you made it,” Jacob whispered in the moment before Mr. Mac started to play.
“Me too,” Riley whispered back.
The first chords filled the air. Riley opened her music folder, and—at the exact moment, in just the right way—she sang. The magic that happened when 3C sang had never been more powerful. Riley could hear, faintly, her own voice, but what was really amazing was the way it was one small part of a much greater whole. This was no time for a solo, not when all the voices could come together and sound that incredible.
The kids—the ones who were watching—could feel it, too. Some people in 3C had worried that they’d be laughed at when they sang at the party. It was one thing to sing at a nursing home, or even at the mall, but in middle school? Forget it.
It was clear now that those worries were unfounded. Riley looked out into the audience and saw that the other students were rocking out along with 3C. Somewhere out there, she knew, was her Secret Snowflake. Soon she’d know who it was. When the performance was over, and the last gifts had been exchanged…
Next to her, Jacob shifted his weight from one foot to the other. For the briefest moment, Riley felt his arm brush against hers. Lightning struck then, an electric shock that started in Riley’s brain and zipped all the way down to her fingertips. As the feeling subsided, Riley was left with a single thought in her mind.
Was Jacob her Secret Snowflake?
Had he been right there by her side all along?
It took all of Riley’s concentration to get through the rest of the songs and not let her mind wander with thoughts about Jacob. Right now, 3C demanded—and deserved—her full attention. There would be time afterward, Riley knew, to find out the truth.
Then they were singing the last note of the last song, which seemed to hang in the air, quivering, until it faded away. There was half a second of silence, then everyone in the room burst into the wildest, most thunderous applause Riley had ever heard. Riley grinned at the audience, not caring if her smile was too big. It could never be big enough to capture everything Riley was feeling in that moment: her gratitude for the gift of song, her pride in a successful performance, and, most of all, her joy.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Mr. Mac announced to the crowd. “Before we get back to the party, I’m going to turn it over to Mrs. Darlington.”
“Let’s have another round of applause for 3C!” she said. “That performance was incredible!”
Everybody started clapping and cheering again.
“And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for,” Mrs. Darlington continued. “At last, you’ll find out the identity of your Secret Snowflakes. I’m looking forward to reading your in-class essays over the break. I hope that participating in Secret Snowflake has been as fun and meaningful for you as it has been for me.”
Huh? Riley thought. Mrs. Darlington didn’t have a Secret Snowflake partner. How was it fun for her?
“I’ve loved every minute, from seeing you sneak into class early to deliver your gifts in secret to overhearing your whispered plans for kindness and generosity. My hope for the coming year is that these new friendships born from Secret Snowflake will only grow stronger,” Mrs. Darlington said. “Now, go ahead—find your Secret Snowflake and tell them everything!”
There was a tremendous flurry of activity in the music room as the other kids scrambled around, looking for their Secret Snowflake and exchanging the final presents. Riley stood very still, keenly aware of Jacob beside her. If he was her Secret Snowflake—if he’d been giving her all those incredible gifts—now would be the perfect time to tell her.
But Jacob clambered down the risers like everyone else.
Riley was surprised by the sudden swell of disappointment she felt. It’s just… everything, she told herself. All the late nights working on the Secret Snowflake presents, the weeks of anticipation, the incredible performance. No wonder her emotions were on a total roller coaster.
Riley climbed down the risers, one careful step at a time, and waited off to the side. She felt kind of funny, just standing around when there was so much bustling activity around her. She tucked the special book she’d made under her arm and tried to figure out what to do next. She wasn’t about to go find Marcus—she was done with him—which meant she had to wait for her Secret Snowflake to find her.
Riley glanced around the room. She spotted Sophia giving Alice the invitation to their New Year’s Eve sleepover party and smiled as Alice squealed and gave Sophia a big hug. Riley was delighted to see Alice so excited. She could already tell the three of them were going to have an incredible time at the sleepover party!
Is my Secret Snowflake absent today? Riley wondered. She felt so dumb, just standing there. Maybe it would be less conspicuous if she leaned against the wall… or found a place to sit….
Riley took a step back to sit on the bottom level of the risers—and stumbled right into someone. “Oh! Sorry!” she cried.
Someone’s hand reached out to grab her elbow, steadying her. She looked up… right into Jacob’s hazel eyes.
“Sorry,” Riley apologized again. “I didn’t mean to get in your way.”
“You’re not in
my way,” he said in a quiet voice.
There was a pause. Riley wondered… but she had been wrong about Marcus already. She didn’t want to be wrong again—especially not this time.
Jacob opened his mouth to say something, but closed it quickly and kind of rolled his eyes. “I’m… not good at this,” he said, almost laughing at himself. “Here. This is for you.”
He held out a small envelope.
Riley took it, a little unsure. Was this the big reveal? Was Jacob really her Secret Snowflake?
She lifted the flap and pulled out a gift card to the Cupcakery and suddenly, in a flash, remembered talking about the Cupcakery during one of their 3C rehearsals….
And the quest for peanut-free treats the whole family could enjoy… right before the peanut-free fudge showed up in her Secret Snowflake mailbox….
And the way Jacob had been weirdly curious about her festive wear… right before she’d received the light-up Christmas tree pin….
And the sparkly nail polish… and the sparkly paper, two sheets of which made up the cover for the book that was tucked under Riley’s arm at that very moment….
“It was you?” she exclaimed.
Jacob nodded, smiling and blushing at the same time. “It was me,” he said. He gestured to the gift card. “I almost got you a dozen cupcakes but then I thought, you know, maybe you’d rather eat there instead. With Marcus. I can tell you sort of… like him.”
Of course that’s what you thought, Riley realized. Because Jacob was kind, because he was caring, because he was always thinking about others before himself.
“Actually,” Riley said, “I think I’d rather go with you.”
He was so surprised—and Riley loved how surprised he was; it was so cute—that for a moment he just stood there as a slow smile crossed his face.
“Will you be around over Christmas break?” Riley asked.
“Y-yeah,” Jacob replied. “Definitely. We can definitely get cupcakes.”
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