Falling for Change

by KC Lee

  “No way Bob the Builder was a body builder. He shaved his whole body and bathed in baby oil every day. Enough said.” Getting off the couch I relented, “Fine if you won’t help me I will figure it out myself. I’ll just Google lesbian, it can’t be that hard to figure it out!”

  “Ya you do that. In fact you should probably go home and do it right now. Happy Sapphic searching!” Phoebe yelled as she threw me out into the hall.

  Chapter 2 (Red Red Wine, Diddling, Make Me Feel Fine)

  The morning had been hectic. I love animals but being the only vet in town sure takes a lot out of a person. “Get it together Anita. And stop talking to yourself.” Finally sitting down to lunch around two p.m. Sighing, I pulled out my left over California Salad from the mini fridge in my office. The only thing good about last night is that I have this left over for lunch today. Giggling to myself I thought, I sure did find a lot of things out about lesbians last night. That was at least enlightening if nothing else.

  After leaving Phoebe’s I walked next door to my apartment. Opening the balcony door I stood out looking across the park. The breeze was cooling after a stifling day. The full moon was large and bright, high in the sky. Sitting down at the computer I pulled up Google, typed in lesbian and hit search. It came up with over 160 million hits. Changing my mind and typing in ‘how to be a lesbian’ seemed like a better plan anyways. After an hour I had found out that I needed to cut my hair short. Like that will happen ha. I also needed to wear men’s clothing. Pull out chairs for dates. Pay for dinner. Pretend to like sports and generally act like most of the pig, uh men I date. I didn’t really understand but decided I am definitely going to give it a shot. It was after midnight when I finally went to bed.

  Knock Knock Knock. Dang it I really should have gotten more sleep last night. “Come in.” I called out to my assistant.

  “Anita, your three o’clock is here early do you want me to take them to exam one?” Sherry asked.

  “Might as well. Maybe we can get out of here at a decent time tonight. It is Friday after all.”

  “Ms. Henry what can we do for Roofus today?” I took a step back to admire Roofus’ bright pink nail polish and scarf stifling a giggle. She must know he is male she did name him Roofus. Oh well I guess real men really do wear pink.

  As I was leaving the office Sherry called over her shoulder, “Don’t forget you wanted me to remind you to stop and get a nice big bottle of red wine and a movie to relax with tonight. Boring Friday night huh? Guess the date didn’t go well.”

  “That’s an understatement,” I mumbled under my breath.

  Walking through the movie store I remembered a few titles I had come across in my lesbian search. Bound and Better than Chocolate and both are in the B section, perfect. Walking towards the B’s I looked around and noticed a tall dark haired women, with ice blue eyes, looking through the B’s as well. Those eyes remind me of a husky’s, soo intensely blue. As I walked closer to her I noticed she already had a movie in her hand and it was Better than Chocolate. I hope they have two copies. But I guess that’s an easy way to pick out lesbians. I’ll just hang out in movie stores and talk to the women who rent lesbian videos ha ha that shouldn’t be a waste of time.

  I quickly walked to where Better than Chocolate should be and there was not in fact two copies. Just my luck. Next choice, Bound. Racing towards where Bound should be so I could get at least one of the movies I wanted to watch I reached out to pick it up and felt a hand brush mine. Looking up I was lost in a sea of blue.

  “Oh no you don’t. I noticed you already have the only copy of Better than Chocolate. You are not getting the only copy of this as well. Otherwise I will be forced to watch re-runs on cable and red wine does not go with re-runs.”

  A thick sultry voice floated over my senses and I only caught the last few words, “… no problem I wouldn’t want to ruin your red wine.”

  “Th…Thanks, I’m Anita”, hand out, I stumbled. What in the world is wrong with me? Why do I sound like an idiot? I talk to new people all the time, women, men, crazy cat ladies.

  Shaking my hand the dark haired women said, “I’m Blue. Blue Louve. Nice to meet you.”

  Looking up at the taller woman I said, “Thanks, Mahn.”

  “Uhm OK dude no problem have a good night.” Blue was looking at me strangely and chuckled as she said dude.

  “No, I mean yes thank you for giving up the movie but no I wasn’t calling you man my last name is Mahn.” I stammered still entranced by her blue eyes.

  “That might not be the right movie for you then.” Her blue eyes twinkled and she had a tiny smirk on her face.

  “Funny.” I deadpanned.

  As she walked away laughing and shaking her head I stood frozen in place. Stunned by her abrupt departure and entranced by the slight sway of her hips. I didn’t even realize that I was standing in the middle of the movie store gawking at a woman just like those construction workers I pass on the way to the clinic every day. Next thing you know I’ll be whistling and yelling out things like did it hurt when you fell from heaven or more blatantly nice ass.

  *****

  “Anything is Better than Chocolate for a dog you ass. Don’t you know chocolate is poison to dogs. Why don’t you try going out on a date like a real girl Lassie, instead of getting your kicks by watching lesbian cinema.” Becca said poking me in the chest.

  I knew better than to poke her back. I have only ever poked Becca back one time and learned real quick it was much like putting your finger in the electric socket. You want to try it out because when you are a kid anything you are not supposed to do must be something worth doing. But then you steer clear of said outlet for the rest of your tiny kid life.

  Becca was a few inches shorter than me but she’s always been hit first talk later. Her thick blonde hair that always seems perfectly curled in thick ringlets and bounces when she walks gives her a deceptive angel like quality. Many a person has been confused when her right hook knocked out a tooth.

  Walking into my kitchen to make popcorn for my movie I ignored the usual mind numbing ramblings from Becca and got a glass of ice-cold water.

  “What are you doing at my house anyways? Don’t you have your own house to be at? In fact it’s Friday night don’t you have some women you should be sniffing at?” I smiled wide remembering the sweet musky scent from the woods. It was the same scent I picked up in the movie store. It was light but it was there.

  “At least I get some. I am serious Blue.” Becca put her hands on her hips clad in tight jeans with strategically placed rips up her thighs.

  “You need to get out of the house. You are coming with me Monday night to the coffee house. It’s Women’s Night and you could use some real life women instead of movie characters. You have no choice. And this is why. It is open mic night and if you do not come I may just feel obliged to tell a story about my sister Blue’s first experience diddling.”

  My sister is like a damn dog with a bone when she wants something. She doesn’t stop until she gets it. It was bad enough my ENTIRE family caught me, including my grandma. I do not need a coffee house full of women to hear the tale of my fourteenth birthday. Earlier that week my sister pulled me aside to tell me about the birds and the bees. Which I thought was really strange since we see birds and bees all the time running through the fields but she insisted I learn. Turns out, what she really wanted to tell me about was how she had banged the neighbor girl down the street for her birthday. She assured me that this was an acceptable gift for any growing woman and that if you didn’t have someone to do it for you, you should just do it yourself because it made your birthday way more fun. She also informed me that doing it yourself was called diddling and it felt good. Being fourteen and not really understanding that my sister was setting me up, I believed that this was common practice. When I woke up the morning of my birthday I was alone in my bedroom quietly diddling away when out of nowhere my sister, mother, father and grandmother burst through my bedroom door complete
with party hats and a lit cake. Shocked, I screamed and pulled the covers over myself but not in enough time to miss my family’s shocked faces and Becca’s body rolling on the floor in a fit of laughter.

  “Alright. Alright. I’ll go with you. Monday night, coffee house got it. But you must leave my house and let me watch my movie in peace.” I ran my hand through my hair.

  Becca sauntered towards the front door, her hair swishing with her hips, nose in the air. I hated when she walked away like that. I just knew that it meant that she knew that I knew that she knew she would get her way.

  “No bailing. I’ll even make sure to add in the part where grandma felt the need to remind you all summer long to lock your bedroom door.” Becca cackled as she shut the front door.

  I’d have thrown the water at the door I was so irritated with her but I was still thirsty and there was no point. I don’t know how she expects me to find a woman to date since she goes through them all like water. I only date wolf changers and she made sure to date every single one with in a 100 mile radius. The thought of my personals touching something her personals have touched is not appealing. I

  My sister is only a few inches shorter than me. Her blonde hair reaches to the middle of her back. My thick black hair juts out and brushes my ears. We both have the same strong jaw line but her features are rounder than mine. She has hips and large breasts. I have more of a straight-line body type and my boobs are a handful and nothing more. She got my father’s olive skin that tans easily giving her a surfer girl look. I have paler skin from my mother. The biggest difference between us is our personalities. Becca is an artist and her work has helped her reach a local celebrity status. Her outgoing personality combined with her good looks makes anything that she wants become possible. Becca always wants women. I on the other hand would rather stick to the sidelines and have what some would call a shy personality. But I like to think of myself as thoughtful so I just let Becca take center stage and stay out of the way. I just want a woman that is mine. Becca has always been really good at sharing what she doesn’t want to play with anymore. I on the other hand believe that what is mine is mine. It’s probably from years of being submissive to Becca.

  That’s why I moved to this house in the woods. I needed something that was mine. It is perfectly all mine. A nice one and a half story (I hate heights) log cabin in a nice wooded area. I have a pond full of fish with a dock and a little rowboat. A big open floor plan that is essential to keep a wolf from breaking anything. On the first floor there is a living room, a bathroom and kitchen. One perfect bathroom with a large glass stalled shower, multiple rotating showerheads, and a large Jacuzzi tub that is all mine. A perfectly large kitchen with industrial sized cooking appliances and a large sturdy wooden table for a wolf-sized appetite that is all mine. The swinging kitchen door allows easy access to the living room. There is a TV over the mantle place and a big brown overstuffed sectional. An ottoman and two end tables are the only other items in the living room besides the built into the walls bookshelves that are overflowing with books. Lastly, my bedroom on the second floor, a fire place and the largest fluffiest bed I could get my paws on. Which I would be more than willing to share with someone else if I could find a wolf that hadn’t already had Becca’s nose up her ass.

  I’ve recently thought about expanding my options and dating humans but I’m not sure how well that would work. “Oh don’t worry about it hunny, just ignore my glowing blue eyes. I’m just happy to see you.” Ya that’ll work Blue. I shook my head trying to rid myself of that thought. It’s not like I’d ever really considered dating a fully human woman before tonight anyways.

  Chapter 3 (Balls and Bigotry)

  The next afternoon walking down Main Street I basked in the warm sunshine. People were walking down town taking advantage of the weekend weather just like me. The breeze was hot and had a flowery smell with a slight mixture of sweat. It was unseasonably hot today. I noticed the beautiful Dalmatian walking across the street with its owner. A tabby cat ran past me. It stopped under an open window cleaning its paws. Looking curiously up at me it sniffed as its back arched. I growled a little under my breath and the cat jumped through the open window of the house with a hiss. I don’t dislike cats I’m just more of a dog kind of girl.

  Walking passed the park I noticed two girls playing catch with a bright yellow softball. One of them clearly an older sibling trying to each the other how to close her glove once the ball had landed. I stood there for a minute my muscles taught. I could definitely go for a game of catch right about now.

  The breeze shifted and I lifted my nose to catch the scent. Coffee, it smells so good but when I drink it I start to shake and can’t hold still. The only time I let myself drink coffee is when I can shift shortly afterwards. Shifting calms me, which is why I have to work to keep myself from getting too angry or emotional, because it can cause me to shift uncontrollably. Passing the coffee shop reminded me that I promised to go to Women’s Night in a couple days, which was not something I was looking forward too, but even that couldn’t ruin my mood today. I noticed a few pieces of trash that got picked up by the wind and started to follow them down the street. I’d like to say it’s because littering is wrong and I wanted to pick them up and throw them in the bins placed on each corner, but more likely it’s because I distract easily.

  In my opinion most wolves distract easily. Becca tells me constantly that no wolves distract easily but all pups do. To further prove her point she decided that she’d set me up to the point where I had no choice but be distracted. I mean really what person let alone one that is affected so easily by coffee wouldn’t get a little distracted after one or three cups. So after getting me sufficiently hyped up she decided it would be the perfect opportunity to video tape my anniversary wish for my parents. As I was speaking into the camera Becca started to bounce a bright yellow tennis ball off the wall. Catch and bounce, catch and bounce, catch and “Ball, I love balls!” I screamed right in the middle of wishing my parents a happy 50th anniversary. And just to make sure she would never have to work so hard to convince me that I distract easily she refused to let me re-do the video and it played on a very, very large screen during my parents anniversary party. On repeat. All night long.

  Lost in another humiliating moment thanks to my dear, dear sister I once again found myself distracted to the point that I ran head first into someone. A woman it turns out. A woman, with long blonde hair, who was walking with her head put down and grumbling under her breathe. Something about what kind of jackass runs into someone in broad daylight.

  “Apparently, the kind we are.” I said loud enough for her to know I overheard her call me a jackass. At that moment she looked up at me with anger that very quickly turned to embarrassment in her eyes.

  “ Uck, Sawry.”

  “What was that” I could feel myself trying not to grin.

  “Boo white? I jwust weaving dentist. Mowf is numb. I otta go bye.” The infamous movie store Anita said as she stalked off.

  That was weird. She must not have recognized me. She sure ran off fast and was she drunk? I didn’t smell alcohol on her. But I did smell a light flowery scent and a lemon cleaning solution. No she wasn’t drunk but she was drooling and her face looked fatter than last night. I think she said she was at the dentist? Looking up I realized that must have been where she came from since I was standing right in front of Family Dentistry.

  I wonder if she enjoyed her movie? That was definitely Anita. I recognized her scent from the movie store. I kept walking back towards my jeep, which was on the other side of the park. As I rounded the edge of the woods I stopped dead in my tracks. Something was familiar like deja vu. I’d been in this spot before. The floral scent with a hint of musk burned into my senses. It couldn’t be could it? Anita’s scent was the one I caught at the edge of the woods last full moon.

  I don’t know how I missed it the other night. Of all the rotten luck. I’d been having dreams ever since that night. I’m running through t
he forest, chasing that intoxicating aroma. Every time I get nearer something else slams my senses. A putrid smell of death and something else… a spice maybe. I instantly cringe the smell bringing me to my knees and I have to get up and run as fast as I can. The wind carrying the smell and turning my path away from the rousing fragrance I sought. I’d wake up right before I was engulfed in the heavy odor.

  Anita had definitely made a print in my mind and I hadn’t even known who she was. Maybe Becca is right. I do need to go out meet new people, find a couple of dates, let off some steam. I certainly can’t keep dreaming about a woman I’ve barely met especially since she’s not of the four-legged furry variety like me. I made a decision a long time ago that it’d just be easier on a relationship if I didn’t have to keep such a huge secret. I’m terrible at deception and I’m not sure I’d ever find someone I trust enough to tell them about my unique relationship with the full moon.

  *****

  Oh crap where are my keys? The wind picked up and blew my blonde locks in my face. Struggling, I finally got into my car and drove off tires squealing as fast as I could. I can’t believe I am such an idiot. I walked right into Blue. Dang it. I should have been watching where I was walking. Now she probably thinks I am an idiot. And did she hear me call her a jackass. Damn it. Wait why do I care what she thinks of me? I don’t even know her. But my god I could feel the drool running down my chin and I am pretty sure she was grinning at me. Surely she realized I came from the dentist office.

  I heard my cell phone ringing in my purse as I trudged up the stairs to my apartment. Looking down and seeing Phoebe across the screen I decided to wait and call her when I didn’t sound like a gremlin to keep from further embarrassing myself. Walking in the door the light shining in through the glass door to the balcony blinded me and I tripped over my dog, Larry. Could this day get any worse? Larry my five year-old German Shepard conspired against me whenever he felt he was being neglected. This act of war was probably because I didn’t have a chance to walk him before my dentist appointment this morning.