‘Yes?’
‘Well, the fact is that besides your own inheritance, there were a number of other small clauses in the document. Minor ones, mostly relating to the party who was to inherit the estate should your marriage to Captain Amberton not go ahead. Considering the somewhat unusual circumstances, I felt obliged to travel to Cumberland to explain matters to that gentleman in person.’
‘And?’ She felt a vague prickle of unease.
‘He disavowed the will.’
‘He what?’
Mr Rowlinson cleared his throat awkwardly. ‘It seems that, despite being a second cousin of your father’s, the pair of them were never close. In fact, the gentleman said a few choice phrases, quite unsuitable for a lady’s ears, that makes that quite an understatement.’
‘He didn’t want the money?’
‘No. He said he was well enough off, had no children of his own and wanted nothing to do with any of it. He also added that the will itself was just what he would have expected from your father. He was, if you’ll forgive my saying so, a great deal like him.’
‘I see.’ She blinked a few times, mind racing. ‘But how does this affect me?’
‘It doesn’t, at least not now. Two months ago, however...’
‘It would have made a difference?’
‘Yes. I’m afraid it probably means that your marriage was unnecessary after all. Your father had no other close relatives and, without any other claimants to challenge the will, I believe that the money would have reverted to you anyway.’
‘So you’re saying there was no need for me to marry Lance?’
‘I think not.’ Mr Rowlinson looked distinctly uncomfortable. ‘Which is why I’m delighted to see you both looking so happy tonight.’
‘Yes.’ She looked across the room at her husband, the lawyer’s words ringing in her ears. Lance was standing in a group of elderly gentlemen, wearing his most courteous, charming expression. There was no need for her to have married him...and yet she was married to him—and she loved him. Mr Rowlinson’s news didn’t change anything, yet it struck her suddenly that there was a way out of the marriage if she still wanted it. Lack of consummation would be grounds for an annulment.
‘Theoretically then, if there were a way to dissolve our marriage, would I keep my inheritance?’
Mr Rowlinson looked positively alarmed. ‘Yes, I believe so, although a divorce would be very costly. It would cause quite a scandal, too.’
She was seized by the desire to burst out laughing. Clearly the idea of a non-consummation hadn’t occurred to him, although given Lance’s reputation with women that was easy to understand. She would probably have a hard time convincing a court of her innocence in that regard, too. Funny how different they were now, the man and his reputation. A giggle escaped past her lips.
‘Mrs Amberton?’
‘Forgive me. It’s just, my poor father... His plans could hardly have gone any further awry.’
The lawyer inclined his head. ‘No, I do believe that you’re right.’
‘He would have been appalled. The funny thing is that I’m genuinely happy. Despite all his plans, I’m actually grateful to him for making that will. Isn’t it odd?’
‘I suppose so.’
He was looking at her as if she’d had too much to drink and she swallowed another giggle. ‘Have you told my husband any of this yet?’
‘No, I didn’t think it was necessary. Unless you think so?’
‘Not tonight. I’ll tell him later. As you say, it doesn’t make any difference now.’
Mr Rowlinson looked relieved. ‘There was just one other matter, Mrs Amberton. A few weeks ago, your husband asked me to look into your mother’s side of the family. It took me a while to go through your father’s papers, but I eventually found an old birth certificate and was able to trace them from there. I’m afraid that your grandparents are already deceased, but your mother also had a sister who’s still living. In York, as it happens.’
Violet caught her breath. ‘So close?’
‘Yes, your mother was from the city originally. I took the liberty of bringing your aunt’s address with me tonight.’ He reached into his pocket and fished out a piece of card.
‘So I have some family...’ She gazed at the card with something like wonder, then caught sight of Robert approaching. ‘Oh, Mr Felstone, you know Mr Rowlinson, of course?’
‘I do.’ He made a formal bow to both of them. ‘But I’ve come to request the honour of a dance. My wife tells me that she’s in no condition to polka.’
‘Then I’d be delighted.’ She slipped the card into her reticule and then reached up impulsively to press a kiss to the lawyer’s cheek. ‘Good evening, Mr Rowlinson, and thank you. You’re completely forgiven for everything.’
* * *
Lance looked across the ballroom and frowned. His wife was dancing with Robert Felstone. He ought not to be jealous. It was ridiculous to be jealous and not just because Robert was clearly besotted with his own wife, Violet’s best friend. Not because Violet was looking so happy in his company either. Not even because, damn it all, he actually liked the man. He was jealous simply because someone else was dancing with his wife while he stood on the sidelines watching. She looked vibrant and glowing and, as he seemed unable to stop repeating, beautiful, like a long-dormant rosebud blossoming in the sunshine. She’d faced up to her fears and triumphed. Beautiful was the only word for her.
He flexed his leg muscles tentatively and grimaced. Damn this injury. If it weren’t for his bullet wound, he would happily have danced with Violet all night, never mind the gossip. Damn his injury, damn the man who’d shot him and double damn the woman who’d caused it.
He gave a start of surprise. He’d never allowed himself to feel anger about the events or people connected with his injury before, only guilt and an intense sense of self-loathing. The feeling was strangely liberating, as if he’d taken some kind of step forward. Maybe Violet was right and he had finally punished himself enough to move on, to seize a second chance at happiness. Even if he didn’t deserve her, could he allow himself to be happy? Could they be happy together?
He wasn’t sure when exactly he’d fallen in love, though he suspected it was the moment he’d seen her standing on the station platform a month ago and the feeling had only got stronger every day since. Had it really only been a month? That meant only another six years and ten months before he could actually touch her, before he could...
He stopped the thought before he could finish it. No matter what he wanted, or how badly he wanted it, it wasn’t his place to suggest any change to their domestic arrangements. They’d made a bargain—at his suggestion. He couldn’t renege on it now, not unless she wanted to. Did she? He’d had the distinct impression on a couple of occasions over the past month that she might, but what if he was wrong?
If he was, then that kind of mistake could ruin everything between them. He’d likely scare her away for ever. Never mind the fact that if they were going to have a real marriage then he’d have to tell her the whole truth about himself and his injury—he owed her that much—and there was no way he wanted to do that. Better to be celibate for ever than have her despise him.
‘You know, my husband’s a good judge of character.’
Ianthe Felstone appeared at his shoulder and he twisted around in surprise. It was the first time she’d spoken to him since the wedding.
‘Is that so?’
‘Yes, and he likes you. It’s not easy to admit when we’ve been in the wrong, Captain Amberton, but in this case I’m pleased to do so. You make Violet happy.’
He felt a lurch in his chest. ‘I hope so.’
‘I know so. I was afraid that if she married you, she’d be just as trapped and unhappy as she was before. I expected the worst, but you’ve brought out the best in her.’
‘That wasn’t me.
I just gave her the freedom to find out who she was.’
‘But you set her free. A lot of men wouldn’t have. I should have known better than to believe all the gossip about you. I’m sorry.’
She held out a hand and he bowed over it. ‘Don’t be sorry. You were protecting your friend. She deserves to be happy.’
‘And loved.’ She gave him a searching look. ‘It’s funny, but when I came over here you looked very much like a man in love with his wife. I’m lucky enough to know what that looks like. I want Violet to know it, too, but I’m afraid she might not recognise the emotion when she sees it. She hasn’t had a great deal of affection in her life. It’s entirely possible she might need you to tell her how you feel.’
He opened his mouth to deny it and then reconsidered. ‘It’s not so easy. We made an agreement.’
‘Ah.’ Ianthe took a small sip of lemonade. ‘You know, my marriage to Robert was complicated, too, at the start. I should have told him how I felt about him a long time before I did, but I had a secret and I didn’t want him to find out and regret marrying me. I was afraid.’ She gave him a smile that held more than a hint of challenge. ‘Of course, that’s where you’re fortunate, Captain Amberton. The one thing I never took you for was a coward.’
Chapter Sixteen
‘That was wonderful.’
Violet spread her arms wide and twirled along the upstairs corridor, humming softly to herself as they made their way slowly to bed.
‘I’m glad you enjoyed it.’ Lance followed behind, watching in amusement.
‘Didn’t you?’
‘Yes, surprisingly enough. It was a triumph, thanks to you.’
‘And you.’ She tipped her head back and gave him an upside-down smile. ‘Both of us.’
‘Because I managed not to lose my temper with anyone and spoil the evening like five years ago?’
She clucked her tongue reprovingly. ‘You were the perfect gentleman. Never mind all my disappointed suitors, I believe a fair number of ladies were quite devastated to find you off the marriage market as well.’
‘I could have been standing in a sea full of women this evening and still noticed only one.’
‘Mrs Gargrave?’
‘Is it so obvious?’
He chuckled and bent down suddenly, ignoring the pain in his leg as he scooped her up off her feet and into his arms.
‘Lance!’ She squealed in surprise as he spun her round in a circle. ‘Your leg!’
‘Has it fallen off?’ He adopted a look of mock horror. ‘We’re in a tricky situation if it has. I may be forced to drop you.’
‘Don’t be silly.’
‘Then let me worry about my leg.’
‘All right.’ She smiled and rested her head against his shoulder, snuggling into the space beneath his chin. ‘Will you tell me what happened to it—your leg, I mean?’
He froze mid-step. ‘I told you, I was injured in a duel.’
‘You never said what the duel was about.’
‘No.’ He lowered her gently to her feet again, though he kept his hands clasped tight around her waist. ‘Although I did say you wouldn’t like me very much if I did.’
‘It’s a risk I’m willing to take.’ She looked up at him pleadingly. ‘Won’t you tell me now, Lance, please?’
He sighed and rested his chin on the top of her head, gathering her closer towards him. ‘I think I’d prefer it if my leg really had fallen off.’
‘It might make you feel better to tell someone.’
‘I doubt it.’
She pressed her face into his chest, though her muffled voice sounded distinctly guilty. ‘I asked Martin when we were in Scotland.’
‘And?’ He found himself holding his breath.
‘He wouldn’t tell me.’
‘Good.’
‘He did tell me that you were a good commander, though. He said that your men would have followed you into battle without question.’
‘Lucky we were in Canada then. There weren’t many battles.’
‘And that you saved his life. He said he fell down a rock face and you carried him ten miles to safety rather than abandon him in the wilderness.’
‘It was easy terrain.’
‘He said it was a forest full of wolves and bears.’
‘You know he’s always exaggerating.’
‘Stop joking.’ She gave him a small shake. ‘You still saved his life. And whatever your duel was about, Martin didn’t abandon you afterwards. He must not think what you did was so bad.’
‘Only because he thinks he owes me a debt. He doesn’t. He was my batman. It was my duty to get him back to safety.’
‘That’s not what he says. He says there were half a dozen of you in the scouting party and the rest told you to leave him behind.’
‘All that proves is that I’m stubborn. It doesn’t make me a hero, Violet.’
She curled her arms around his neck, pulling herself up towards him. ‘Then tell me why you’re a villain. I won’t let go until you do.’
He gritted his teeth. Her face was just a few inches from his. He was half tempted to kiss her just to stop her from talking, except that he had a feeling she wouldn’t let the matter drop even then. But perhaps he owed her the whole truth after all.
‘All right, but not here. Come inside.’
He drew her arms from around his neck and opened his bedroom door, standing back to let her precede him inside. He couldn’t touch her any longer, not until after he’d told her—though he doubted she’d want him to hold her then...
‘This isn’t easy to do without a drink.’ He closed the door behind them with an ominous thud. ‘You might need one, too.’
‘No, thank you.’ She took a seat on the edge of the bed, looking up at him expectantly.
‘All right.’ He strode across to the fireplace, feeling chilled all of a sudden. ‘You might recall that I have—I had—a certain reputation. With women, that is.’
‘Yes.’ He could almost feel her eyes boring into the back of his head.
‘It was a fair one. In all honesty, it might have been a lot worse. I’ve no excuse for my behaviour. It was reprehensible. I’d like to say that being in the army changed me, made me more of a gentleman, but it didn’t. I was a good officer, my men liked me, but I still behaved badly.’
He threw a quick look over his shoulder, but her expression was unreadable. ‘The major of our unit was about twenty years older than me. He was a good man, someone I liked and respected, but he had a younger wife... Pamela. He adored her, but suffice to say she wasn’t quite so enamoured. She was pretty and bored and easily distracted. You can probably guess the rest.’
‘I don’t want to guess.’
‘Very well.’ He gripped the edge of the mantel. ‘We had an affair. It was only a handful of times, but one evening he found us together in bed. I suppose I ought to be glad he didn’t shoot me there and then, but unlike me, he was a man of honour. He challenged me to a duel instead.’ He ground his teeth at the memory. ‘I slept with his wife and he gave me a chance to shoot him.’
He sensed rather than heard her come to stand behind him. ‘Only a chance? Didn’t you take it?’
‘I stood and faced him with a loaded pistol, if that’s what you mean, but when I saw the look of pain on his face I realised that it didn’t make any difference who shot whom. No matter what happened, I’d already destroyed something inside of him that couldn’t be repaired. I’d broken his heart over a woman I didn’t even care about. It was the first time in my life I knew what guilt felt like. The first time I realised my actions had real consequences. So I shot into the air and waited. I thought it was the least I could do under the circumstances.’
‘Then he shot you?’
‘Only in the leg. At ten paces on a perfectly still day with a clear target. He w
as too good a man to punish me the way I deserved.’
‘Did you want him to kill you?’
‘No. I didn’t want to die, even though I thought I probably deserved it. When I woke up in the infirmary, I didn’t mind the pain either because I knew I deserved that, too. But after that, everything seemed to unravel. I got the news about Arthur and Father, I was discharged from the army, I had to face everything I’d done, all those mistakes...’ He bent his head over his hands. ‘So now you know. I’m not a war hero, Violet, not even close.’
‘No...’ Her voice sounded flat, without any inflection at all. ‘You’re not.’
They lapsed into silence for a few moments, with only the sound of the fire crackling between them. He couldn’t even hear her breathing, but he could still sense her there at his shoulder, as if all his nerve endings were straining towards her.
‘So what now?’ At last he couldn’t bear the tension any longer.
‘What do you mean?’ Her voice was the same flat monotone as before.
‘I mean, how soon will you be leaving now that I’ve told you the truth?’ He gave a bitter smile and then grimaced. ‘Forgive me, Violet. I shouldn’t have said it like that. You’ve every right to leave if you want to. I’ll even take you to the station if you wish.’
‘I don’t wish it. I don’t want to go anywhere. I’m tired.’
‘Tired?’ He felt a stab of disappointment. Was that it? Wasn’t she going to say anything about what he’d just told her? He’d expected condemnation, disgust, tears even, but not tiredness. He’d have rather she railed at him than said nothing at all, though maybe silence was a more fitting punishment. Maybe there was nothing to say. He limped stiffly towards the interconnecting door that led to her bedroom and held it open, but she didn’t follow.
‘Violet?’
‘Will you help me undress?’ Slowly she peeled her gloves off and then turned around, gesturing at the clasps that ran down the back of her gown. ‘I told Eliza not to wait up.’
He made a noise intended to be agreement, though it sounded more like a growl as he moved back towards her again, lifting his fingers to the nape of her neck and slowly unfastening each clasp. To his surprise, his hands were shaking slightly.
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