Tabitha Levin © Copyright 2014
All Rights Reserved.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imaginations or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without permission in writing from the author.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Thank You
Website:
http://tabithalevin.com
Chapter 1
My first instinct is to walk over to Ethan and confront him. My second is to run as fast as I can out of this restaurant so I can think clearly. I don’t want to overreact like I usually do, especially in front of all these people I don’t know. Especially in front of the one person I do know: Danny.
Danny is walking toward me and he is smiling. It’s been a long time since I saw him smile like that. In the last days before he left me, he was desperately unhappy. So was I, but that didn’t stop him from breaking my heart when he walked out the door.
“You look great.” He pulls me close for a warm embrace and his touch is both familiar and strange at the same time. How can that be? I should know every small detail about him, but nothing about this feels normal or natural. I was with him for years, but the five months since we broke up has made us strangers again.
I look over his shoulder to Ethan. Ethan hasn’t noticed me, he is still deep in the conversation with the brunette. Maybe I should walk over and see what is going on. I could act casual. I could pretend it’s nothing.
I inhale deeply trying to suck as much oxygen into my body as possible, so I can deal with everything that is happening all at once. “Danny.” I pull away from his embrace and sit back on the barstool. “Why am I here? What do you want?”
“You want to get right to the point, hey? You never were patient.” His tone is casual and light, and he laughs at the end of his sentence. I’m instantly annoyed. He sits down at the bar stool next to me and I have to turn in my chair to face him, making it more difficult to watch Ethan out of the corner of my eye. Maybe that’s for the best. Maybe I don’t want to see anything more than talking happen between him and the brunette.
“What is it, Danny?”
His eyes dart into the restaurant and I wonder what has caught his attention. I follow his gaze as it settles on the bubbly waitress that bought me over to the bar when I first arrived.
“You’re seeing someone else. The blonde.”
He shifts in his seat and I can see the sparkle in his eyes when he looks back over at her. It softens his features and makes him look even more gorgeous than I remember. He used to look at me the same way. “Yes,” he says with tenderness in his voice.
“That’s good. Good for you.” I’m surprised I’m not more upset by this, but I’m not. In fact, it might be a relief knowing that he is happy. I hope he treats this girl with more love and respect than he showed me.
“There’s more.” He lowers his gaze slightly and takes my hand in his.
“More?”
“We are engaged. The wedding is in one month.”
“Engaged?” I look over at the waitress and down to her hand. The diamond ring is large and sparkles in the restaurant lights. I can’t believe I didn’t notice it before, it’s so obvious. Danny is engaged. The calmness I felt when he told me he was seeing someone has disappeared and has been replaced by an emptiness in the pit of my stomach. “We’ve only been broken up five months, how can you be engaged already?”
He is still holding my hand and begins to stroke his thumb over the back of it. I don’t want him to touch me anymore and I jerk it away. “I fell in love.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal.
“Love? We were in love.” The five years we were together comes crashing down around me. All I can think about is that our entire relationship was a lie, that he never really loved me. All the time and effort I put into us, trying to make things work were for nothing. As soon as we broke up, he’s engaged to someone else.
I turn my head so I can look back at Ethan. I need to see his face so I can stabilize the jumble of emotions that Danny’s confession has created in me. Ethan turns his head my way at the same time, and his mouth parts slightly as the flicker of seeing me here jolts him back from the deep conversation he is having.
“Sarah, don’t take this personally, these things happen. Roxanne is a lovely girl, you’ll like her.” Danny places his hand on my leg and leans forward but I’m still not looking at him. My heart is pounding as Ethan stands up. The brunette he is with looks over in our direction to see what is going on. She is annoyed that something has distracted Ethan from whatever they were discussing.
Ethan strides over to us, his eyes flicking between Danny’s hand on my leg and my face. “Sarah, did you follow me here?”
“Follow you here? No, of course not.” His arrogance of asking me that question doesn’t surprise me, but it does upset me. I want him to take me away from all of this mess, not contribute to it further.
“Then why are you here?” Before I can answer, he turns to Danny. “Get your hand off her leg.”
There is no threat in his voice, it’s just a simple request, but Danny immediately pulls his arm back like he has touched something hot and doesn’t want to get burned. I try not to smile.
“This is Danny.” I feel I need to explain to Ethan what I’m doing here. I would have preferred telling him privately, back at our apartment, but I can’t wait when he’s standing in front of me demanding answers when it should be me demanding answers from him.
Ethan’s eyebrow cocks slightly as he hears Danny’s name.
“He wanted to tell me that he’s engaged.” I point into the restaurant to the waitress who is looking nervously over at us. “To her.”
Ethan doesn’t look back to see who I’m referring to. Instead, his gaze travels up and down my body. “You look nice tonight.” The compliment seems out of place given the situation, but I grab hold of it anyway, instantly feeling better.
The brunette comes up behind Ethan and snakes her hand around his shoulder in an intimate gesture that suggests they have a history together. I bristle and the good feeling I had a split second ago is shattered again by the reality of the situation. “Who is this, Ethan?” Her voice is deep and low and oozes sexuality.
“Sarah,” he replies still keeping his gaze fixed on me. “We need to talk.”
Chapter 2
“Ethan, can this wait?” The brunette is stepping in between Ethan and me, or at least she’s trying to. He’s moving his body so she can’t do it, almost like he’s protecting me from her. Or is he protecting her from me? I can’t tell.
“Lili, this is Sarah, my roommate.” He is still looking at me. “Lili is an old friend.”
Roommate. The word stings and I physically wince at the sound of it. I know we’ve never put a word on what we have together, but I would have expected to be introduced as something more than roommate.
There is no recognition in Lili’s eyes at my name, so I know Ethan hasn’t mentioned me to her. She taps her foot impatiently. “Are you going to help me or what?”
“What is going on?” Dann
y stands up. He’s confused at what is taking place around him, only expecting that I’ve come to hear about his engagement, not have a crowd of people around us with all this underlying tension.
“Danny, this is Ethan Collier.” I don’t add that he’s my roommate. Danny would have heard that part already and it’s not a word I would use to describe what we are. “He’s sleeping in the spare room.” Well, mostly.
Danny extends his hand for Ethan to shake, but Ethan just looks down at it and then back to me. “Can I bring Lili back to the apartment? It’ll be easier to talk there.”
“Yes.” I need to hear who she is. I need to understand why he couldn’t tell me about her earlier. I need Ethan to involve me in his life or at least tell me to back off before I fall any deeper for him.
“You haven’t paid your bill.” Danny stands up trying his best to show that he has some power here, even though it’s obvious he doesn’t.
Ethan reaches into his back pocket and pulls out folded notes of cash. It looks like they are all fifty-dollar bills and there is quite a stack of them. He peels off three and hands them to Danny. “That will cover it.” He then hands me one. “I’ll take Lili, you get a cab. Meet you there soon.”
Lili looks smug that she gets to go on the bike with Ethan rather than me, but she thankfully doesn’t say anything. He leads her outside and I watch as they get onto the bike and ride away. I look down at the fifty-dollar bill in my hand. It looks like I’m finding my own way home.
“Your new roommate is an asshole,” says Danny. He’s looking for reassurance, some lingering common bond between us, but he lost that privilege five months ago.
“I’m fucking him,” I say. I walk outside and call a cab from my phone. As much as I’m insecure about where I stand with Ethan right now, the fact that I’ve shown Danny that he can’t hurt me anymore is enough to give me the boost of confidence I need.
Now all I need to hear is that Lili means nothing to Ethan and we are more than just roommates. The nagging question of why he took her on the bike and not me still threatens to rock me, but I’m able to hold it in knowing that I’ve put Danny behind me. He’s moved on and so have I.
~
I arrive back at the apartment about fifteen minutes after they left. I know they are up there together but I try not to dwell on what might be happening. I can’t believe that he would want me to walk in on them doing anything inappropriate. He’d tell me. At least I think he would, but what do I really know about him? I thought we were getting closer, yet he hid this from me.
It’s obvious they have some sort of history. The way she touched him was far too familiar for just an old friend. I need to know how much of a history that is, and whether he’s slept with her. Or is still sleeping with her.
As I pull out my key to unlock the door, it opens and Ethan is standing in the doorway breathing heavily. “Ethan?”
He pulls me into the apartment and I don’t resist as his lips find mine and he kisses me hungrily. I haven’t seen where Lili is yet, I haven’t had a chance.
As I pull back, I scan the room. “Where is your friend?”
“She’s in my bed.” His voice is low and deep and normally I’d respond by wrapping my arms around him and letting him kiss me again, but there is another woman in his bed. Another woman he has a history with.
My mouth is dry and I try and swallow so I can talk. “What is she doing in your bed?” I know my voice is pitching higher than normal but I need to know.
“Sarah, it’s not like that. I’m not fucking her.” His finger grazes across my cheek and down my neck. “I didn’t like seeing that guy touch you tonight.”
“That guy? Danny?”
“I don’t like that you were there with him. I don’t want you to see him again.” His hand trails down my chest and he circles my nipple through the fabric of my dress.
I shake my head. He has no right to tell me whom I can and can’t see, not after he didn’t tell me about Lili. “Danny is over, you know that.”
“Then why did you go see him?” He moves his hand lower to my hip and then down my leg, the same place Danny was touching me at the restaurant.
“He wanted me to go, to tell me about his engagement.” How did this conversation turn around and be about me? This was supposed to be about him and Lili? It’s because he’s touching me, confusing me again. Every time he does this, my mind turns to mush and my body craves his touch.
“He’s trying to control you. He knows he still has some power over you. He’ll try and contact you again.”
I scoff. “That’s doubtful. He’s happy now.”
Ethan kisses me and pulls me close enough that I can feel his hardness through his jeans. “Are you happy, Sarah?” he asks breathlessly, his kisses becoming more urgent.
Am I happy? What sort of question is that at a time like this?
I pull away so I can think straight even though every part of my body just wants to melt into his arms again. I lock eyes with him and ask him straight, “Ethan, who is Lili?”
Chapter 3
“It’s complicated.”
I stare at him waiting for him to expand further but that’s all he’s giving me for now. That it’s complicated. Of course it’s complicated, everything about him is, but explaining who the girl in his bed is, that should be simple. “Is she your girlfriend?”
“My girlfriend?” He’s amused that I think that, I can tell by the way the corner of his lips are lifting into a half smile. “She’s not my girlfriend.” He reaches out to touch me again, the warmth of his fingers as they brush across my cheek is calming, but I’m not giving this up. Not until I know what’s going on.
“Then who is she? Ethan, please tell me.”
“You’re fucking your roommate - how convenient.” I turn to see her standing in his bedroom doorway wearing only a t-shirt and underwear. I can tell she’s not wearing a bra by the way her nipples are poking against the soft cotton fabric. She walks toward us at the same time as Ethan pulls his hand away from my face.
He stands in front of me. “Don’t Lili,” he says. “She has nothing to do with this.”
“Nothing to do with what?” I say. “What is going on?” I step out from behind him and can see that there is no attraction in his eyes for her, even if she is wearing practically nothing. This only makes me feel slightly better though.
She walks toward me and places her hand on her hip, cocking her head to the side as she looks me up and down. “She’s pretty.”
“She’s beautiful,” corrects Ethan.
They are talking about me like I’m not standing here, like they are discussing a portrait or painting in an art museum. If I’m going to find out anything at all about this woman, maybe I need to ask her myself. “How do you know Ethan?” I direct my question to her.
She laughs and her dark hair bounces around her shoulders. “Oh, we go way back.”
She’s being as cagey as he is and I know that there is no point asking anything more. If they wanted to tell me, they would. “Fine, if neither of you are going to tell me what is going on, you can get out of my apartment.” I know I’m acting immature but I don’t know how else to respond in this situation. I cross my arms over my chest hoping that brings the point home.
Neither of them moves and I can tell my threat has simply amused them, not inspired them to fill me in on whatever I’m ‘not a part of’. I feel like the kid in school that isn’t let into the cool group or chosen for the sports team.
“Lili is the daughter of the leader of the motorcycle club that I used to belong to.”
“The motorcycle club?” But he hasn’t been in that club for over five years, he told me that himself. He left because they used him, and after he spent time in prison for armed robbery. I knew all that, but that isn’t who he is anymore.
“She’s in trouble and wants my help.” He looks over at her with annoyance. “I’ve told her no. I’m not interested.”
“What sort of trouble?” I look over
at her as she walks toward my couch and flops down onto it. She picks up the same magazine that I’ve read a thousand times and begins to thumb through the pages. Whatever trouble she’s in, it doesn’t seem to be bothering her.
“Go on, Ethan,” she waves her hand in the air. “Tell your little girlfriend what I want you to do. Maybe she can talk sense into you and remind you where your loyalties lie.”
His jaw stiffens and the tone in his voice turns cold. “I have no loyalty to you, Lili.”
She looks up and glares at him. “You still have loyalty to my father, you owe him.”
“I don’t owe him anything.”
“Then do it for Winona.”
At the mention of the name Winona, Ethan’s body physically shudders. I place my hand on his shoulder just as the hard mask he wears appears back on his face.
None of what is going on makes any sense to me at all, but seeing the effect that all this is having on him is making me want to hold him and take away his hurt and pain. I can see that this is bringing up memories from the past that he didn’t want dug up, and the Ethan that I’d started to see emerge over the past few weeks is beginning to shrink back into the darkness.
I also know immediately who Winona is. It’s the woman he told me about, the woman who was killed only six months ago. It has to be.
He slumps forward and I cup his face in my hands, resting my palms on his cheeks. “Will helping her make this all go away?” I still don’t know what it is she wants him to do, but perhaps the simplest thing would be to do it and get it over with.
“Sarah, I’m not doing what she wants. It’s all over. Lili can stay here tonight but tomorrow I want her out of my life again.”
She laughs and I look over at her. She’s moved so she’s leaning at the edge of the couch nearer to us, the loose neck of her tee revealing ample cleavage. It’s clear she’s used to using her body and sexuality to get what she wants. “You should listen to your little girlfriend, Ethan. Maybe she’s smarter than she looks.”
Hold On 2 Page 1