by Angie Hayes
“We’re supposed to be boys, this shit is crazy!” I told him shaking my head. I tossed my drink back and placed the glass on the counter.
“Aye, it is what it is. I married Cass so I could have someone to take care of home, while I did my thing. She knows how I am. I have my life the way I like it, and she doesn’t trip.”
I knew right then and there that the dude sitting next to me wasn’t the brother that I knew years ago and grew up with. I had grown up and he didn’t. Being in the air force all these years had taught me to be a man, and the value of it. The person sitting beside me wasn’t a man at all, he was a coward.
“Look, whatever you got going on you need to be careful because you’re playing with fire. Yo’ ass can be locked up if she calls the police. You need to chill out on that hitting shit, because it ain’t cool.” I said to him.
I really needed him to understand the seriousness of this situation and stop acting like it wasn’t a big deal.
“I got this under control, Alicia’s ass ain’t going do shit but have an attitude for a while. She’ll get her act right and everything will be fine. I told you, I handle mines.” Troy bragged. “What yo’ ass need to do is get like me. When you got all yo’ bitches on one page life is great my brotha.” he laughed, and although he thought it was a joke, I knew nothing would ever be the same between the two of us.
Chapter Seventeen
Shawn
I never thought going home on R&R would turn out like it did. I ran into Alicia, and she was even more beautiful than I remembered. I knew I had to make her mines before I headed back to finish this tour. Her telling me about her situation with ol’ boy is just a minor hurdle that I have to climb. I told her that dude would never leave his wife because the men usually never do. I also promised to never do anything to hurt her.
While I was there I tried my best to show her a good time and show her what it was like to have a man who truly cared for her. In the midst of that, I also expressed exactly how I’ve felt for her all these years. Her reaction at first was a little hesitant which scared me. But when I got back to Iraq she made sure that we spoke daily, whether it was by phone, text or video chat. Alicia has even sent me care packages filled with nice letters, cards and other goodies.
She is the reason why my last few weeks have been more bearable than the others. I can feel that Alicia is the one, and I make sure that I tell her that. I don’t want to put too much pressure on her like I’m making her choose, but I also don’t want to be the man she runs to when everything isn’t right with dude. I definitely won’t be playing the side nigga.
Before I joined the army, I was the good guy that always got shit on by women. Every relationship I was in the female ended up cheating on me. Take my last relationship for instance; I was with this chick for three years. We lived together and everything. I worked hard, made sure the bills were paid, cooked, cleaned the house, the whole nine yards. I wasn’t out all night like a lot of the guys I knew, never cheated, and was one hundred with her.
I guess her ass got bored because she began doing exactly what I wasn’t. She started hanging out all times of the night, not answering the phone when I called, and even stopped giving me the pussy. There was always an excuse. She was either tired, feeling sick, or just wasn’t in the mood. When we first got together she couldn’t keep her hands off of me, then all of a sudden she didn’t want me to touch her at all. I knew what time it was and I got the confirmation one day when I followed her ass to work. She pulled up to some house, climbed out the car and was greeted by a nigga at the door. It hurt my soul to watch her get tongued down right in front of my eyes. I went back home, packed up my shit and hauled ass to my moms.
I didn’t get a phone call from her until the next morning. That’s when she noticed that I was gone, because apparently she had just gotten home. Do you know that the only thing she was concerned about was if I was still going to pay the rent? No why did you leave or what’s going on type of shit, she was only worried about keeping a roof over her head. I told her ass to tell her nigga she was kissing to pay the rent, because I wasn’t giving her funky ass a dime, and hung up the phone.
Even though I acted like I didn’t care, it ate me up inside. That was around the time that my sister had just graduated from high school and decided to join the army. With nothing else going on, I joined right along with her. I wanted to get away from my ex and all the shit that reminded me of her. All my boys kept telling me “I told you so.” because they knew she was a hoe from the jump, but I didn’t want to hear it. In my mind the army would not only be a good outlet for me to get away from it all, but it would also give me a consistent paycheck.
It’s been seven years, and I’m still at it. It was truthfully the best decision that I’ve ever made. I love being in the army, and I take pride on being able to serve my country. Not only have I been able to establish stability, but I also have a nice balance in my checking and savings account as well. Through it all though, I’ve never got in another serious relationship.
After what my ex did, I have a hard time fully trusting women. I’ve had a couple of friends and occasional fuck buddy, but that’s as far as it goes. I have seen too many failed marriages with cheating and other crazy bullshit in the military. Quite a few of my boys have either gone through it, or have put their wives through it. Not everyone can handle the distance or constant moving. I didn’t want to go through the pain of losing someone I loved again, so I threw myself into my career and tread lightly on the dating scene. My way of thinking changed when I ran back into Alicia.
For the first time since my ex, I actually have the urge to want to settle down again. Like I said, I’ve always had a thing for Alicia. She’s the entire package the way I see it. She’s sexy as hell, beautiful, smart, and has a good head on her shoulders. The fact that she makes me laugh all the time is the cherry on top, because I love a woman with a sense of humor. I enjoy talking to her so much; I could do it all day. Her folks even like me.
I can see us going somewhere in the future and doing great things, if she just gives us a chance. By the constant communication between the two of us, I’m assuming the shit with dude is over. I have yet to ask her, but I’ve decided on doing it soon just so I can know exactly where I stand and what my next move is.
Chapter Eighteen
Alicia
It’s been two weeks since Troy put his hands on me and I have yet to hear anything from him; which is fine by me. I just hope it stays that way. The visible bruises that I had have healed, but the not scars that are inside. I had some vacation days from work so I took them, as well as picked up my school work from my professors to do at home. As always, I stayed cooped up in my apartment hidden away so no one would see me all fucked up. I went above and beyond to hide it from my parents, because I knew that my daddy would kill Troy if he knew. Hell, so would my momma! I didn’t want either of them to get into any trouble behind my foolishness.
I’ve also been staying away from Skyping Shawn, because I couldn’t let him see me like this. He would have a thousand questions, questions that I didn’t feel like answering. We still stay in constant contact by texting each other, and when he finally asked why we couldn’t video chat, I made up a lie and told him that my internet had been shut off for none payment. My excuse was that I had used the money to pay for some books, and that I would just pay the bill with my next check. Being the good guy that he is, Shawn offered to send me the money to pay for the internet, as well as my books, but no matter how many times he offered I turned him down. Truthfully, I just couldn’t let him see just how bad my face looks. I’m already ashamed of what I’ve allowed myself to go through; I didn’t want him to see just how stupid I actually was.
Now that my face is healed, I decide to get on Skype and chat with Shawn.
“Hey you, what have you been up to?” I asked trying not to blush just from seeing his handsome face. Now that we’re online, I can see how much I’ve really missed seeing him.
“Hey bea
utiful, I’m just over here trying to stay safe and get back to the states. Hopefully when I make it back I can see you again, because I’m missing you like crazy.” Shawn replied giving me that sexy smile not knowing that he was giving me butterflies.
“Aww well, you better stay safe because I wait to see you either.” Did I just say that out loud?
The more I talked to Shawn, the more I saw my feelings growing. I now know that I want something different than what I’ve been experiencing.
“That’s music to my ears.” He said with a bright smile across his face.
“I’ve missed seeing that beautiful face. I don’t know why you didn’t let me pay the bill.” Shawn suggested. If only he knew the truth.
“I know, but I’m okay. I took care of it as you can see. Besides, I’m used to doing things on my own, so I couldn’t let you do that.”
“You see that’s the problem, you’re not used to having someone who genuinely cares about you. Look Alicia, it’s no secret about how I feel about you, because I broke it down before I left. With only one more month here, I’ll be back home for two weeks, and then I’m off to Texas. What I need to know is how do you really feel about me?” Shawn asked me. He really wasn’t cutting any corners this time about he feels about me.
“Shawn, you know I like you.” I started off saying
“Yeah I know that, but do you like us together?” he asked cutting me off.
“Yes I do, I like us together.” I finally answered with a smile on my face was so big my cheeks started to hurt.
“I’m glad to hear that, now I need to know that I’m coming home to my woman. Meaning things are off between you and Troy. I never asked you to choose nor did I judge, but I’m a good man Alicia and I know that you’re a good woman, who deserves to be the one and only. I can give you that and more. I just need for you to give me a chance. I promise you won’t regret it.”
Listening to Shawn pour his heart out not knowing if he was going to get shut down made me like him even more. I sat quiet for a moment just staring at him through the screen. I knew that Shawn could and would make me happy, but I was worried if I could give him the same amount of happiness. When you’re so use to having shit, you don’t know what sugar taste like.
“Shawn I really want to take this next step with you, but I just don’t want to bring my baggage along.” I finally told him truthfully.
“Okay, so are you still messing with Troy?” he asked.
“No, it’s completely over between the two of us, but I do admit that there’s still a lot of hurt left behind.” I responded with tears streaming down my face.
“I’m glad that it’s over, and I’m sorry that you’re still hurting. Give me a chance, and I promise that I will make that pain go away. Let me protect you and love you unconditionally. I will never hurt you intentionally baby, and that’s my word.”
Looking into Shawn’s beautiful hazel eyes as they stared back at me gave me confirmation of what I already knew. He was sincere, and I actually deserved to be happy. I knew he was the man for me.
“Okay boo, we can give this a try. Just make sure you get home safe to me.” I said as I blew a kiss to him. He smiled again and my heart melted.
Chapter Nineteen
Candy
Ever since the day I went over to Alicia’s after Troy whopped her ass, he’s been spending more and more time at my place. Of course I know that he’s only over here because he hasn’t been around her ass, but oh fucking well. Yeah I know I sounded like a straight slimy bitch, but hey this is how I am. Troy was just supposed to be a fuck thing for me. I had plans on treating him just like I do the others which was never catching feelings, because that shit is for those weak bitches. I get what I want which is that good dick and money, and move on to the next potential prospect.
I’ve dealt with married men, dudes with live in girlfriends, baby mommas, the whole nine yards because I just don’t give a fuck! Troy was different though. He was one nigga that I can’t get out of my system. The combination of his dick and tongue are out of this world! Add in his take charge demeanor, and how he doesn’t give a damn, oh wee I love that shit! So to say that I was happy when Alicia told me that she was done with him is an understatement. I was fucking ecstatic! I’m tired of sharing him with not only his wife, but her ass too.
Now don’t get me wrong, Alicia has always been a good friend to me. It’s just that she sometimes acts like she’s better than a bitch in some ways. Always in my ear about how I need to go back to school and take up a trade, so that I can get a better job. She thinks that stripping and using nigga’s for money isn’t the way to go. Bitch please! That school shit is definitely not for me.
I’m about mines, and sitting in some stuffy ass classroom is not included in my plans. What I’m about is shaking my ass for cash, and if the money is right I’ll throw in a piece of pussy in there too. Let Alicia tell it I can do better, but I’ll pass on that call center shit she’s doing.
The day Keisha called me and told me what happed, I knew I had to get my ass over there and see for myself. After hanging up with her, I immediately phoned Troy to see what he had to say, and all he told me was to make sure she didn’t call the police. Once I got there I didn’t have to say a word, because even though Keisha’s hating ass was all for calling the cops, Alicia begged her not to. She promised that she would leave Troy alone and move on, which was music to my muthafucking ears. I know that with her ass out of the picture and his boring wife at home with their brats, I would have more of him to myself. That’s exactly what’s been happing too, because his ass can’t seem to stay away now.
Since the ordeal I’ve been calling to check up on Alicia. You know, acting like the concerned friend and shit. The truth of the matter is I was just making sure that Troy hasn’t been back around her. She always assures me that she’s been working, finishing school, and not thinking about him. To prove it to me she even shared that she changed the locks so that if he did decide to pop up, he wouldn’t get inside her apartment. The sound of keys jingling in my door alerted me that Troy was coming in. That just how gone I was off this nigga, I gave him keys to my shit.
“Hey baby, I didn’t know you were coming by today.” I greeted him.
I climbed off the couch, walked over and kissed him gently on the lips. Troy returned the gesture by smacking me lightly on my ass.
“Yo’ ass don’t need to know when I’m coming over. Get me a Corona.” He demanded as he sat down on the couch and cut the TV on.
“Here you go.” I said handing him the beer and sat across from him.
“You heard from Alicia?” He asked after taking a swig of his beer,
“Why every time you come over here you always asking about that bitch, I thought y’all were done with each other?” I snapped!
Now I had a fucking attitude, because I know his ass ain’t come all the way over here to ask me about the next bitch.
“When the fuck did I tell you that we were over?” He asked me with his face scrunched up.
“Well shit, she said y’all were over the last time I spoke to her!” I said to him smirking.
“First off, shit ain’t over with us until I say so. Alicia’s ass ain’t going nowhere.” He said returning the smirk before taking another sip of his beer again.
“If that’s the case Troy, then why the fuck are you here with me? Shit, you already got a wife, and your precious Alicia, so what do you need me for?” I yelled at him.
This nigga had the audacity to sit in my shit and throw this bitch up in my face. You would have sworn by the way he whooped her ass that day that he didn’t give two shit’s about her.
Laughing, Troy replied “Listen here lil’ girl, I don’t need no bitch, I choose to have them. What I do need is what I got at home, and that ain’t never going nowhere. As far as Alicia is concerned, you don’t need to try to figure out shit because that ain’t none of your concern. You acting like you didn’t know what it was when you let me fuck. You getting
shit twisted lil’ mama. What you and I got going on ain’t got shit to do with whatever the fuck else I’m doing.” He said to me arrogantly.
I just sat there stunned. As much as I wanted to cry, I didn’t because I refuse to let this nigga see me in tears. My feelings where hurt at the way he had just spoken to me. I wanted to lash out and flip the script, but I couldn’t because I knew he was telling the truth. I did know what it was in the beginning; I just didn’t expect to fall for him. Things where getting out of hand now and I didn’t know what to do to put them back in order. In no way, shape or form did I want to interrupt what we had going on, so I had to get us back on track; I had to think quickly.
“Damn baby I’m sorry. That shit don’t mean nothing to me. The only thing I’m concerned about is us, all that other shit is your business.” I said trying to sound convincing.
“That’s what the fuck I’m talking about, get that shit right.” Troy said smiling satisfied with my answer.
“Did you cook?” he asked.
“Naw I didn’t, but I took some chicken out earlier. Why don’t you go lie down in the bed, get comfortable and I’ll get dinner started for you?” I said as I got up and went over to where he was sitting on the couch, bent down and started nibbling on his ear.
“Shit fuck that you done got my dick all hard! I’m ready for some of that pussy, we can eat later.” Troy said as he grabbed my hips and sat me down on his lap.
That was music to my ears. I loved Troy’s dick, and whenever he was willing to give it, I was damn sure going to take it.
“Let’s do the damn thing baby.” I said as I got up off of his lap and led him into my bedroom preparing to fuck him silly.
Chapter Twenty
Keisha
“I’m so proud of you.” I said to Alicia as we were shopping for her graduation dress.
It had been an entire month, and she still had been keeping her promise about leaving Troy’s raggedy ass alone. She hasn’t even mentioned his name during any of our conversations which is good, because before he was all she talked about. Whether it was praise or drama, Troy’s name always came up. Right now she’s about to get her degree in nursing. All that hard work is finally going to pay off. Another good thing is the fact that she’s dating again. Her new boo, Shawn, has her ass on cloud nine. It feels good to see my cousin happy again.