Hunter followed, hoping to coax her back into his arms to give her comfort.
"Because of me-"
She couldn't say it, no matter how she tried. But Hunter knew. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he whispered, "Look at me."
She did, her eyes so full of pain it killed him inside.
"I thought we were learning not to hold on to guilt that we don't need to carry."
"I know," she whispered, her voice teary.
Sometimes knowing and doing were two different things. He understood that all too well. "I'm going to go out on a limb and venture a guess as to what you want to say, since you can't seem to say it."
Becca just nodded.
"You think I had my old life ripped out from under me because of you, because we went to help the Langes keep the secret about you. Am I right?" It hurt him just saying it. Why? Why would Becca have that kind of guilt? She'd done nothing wrong.
"Yeah." Becca wrangled away from his hold and faced the window.
"Sweetheart, let me hold you." Hunter moved to stand beside her. He wanted to be close to her. Becca's face was wet from her tears when she looked at him. "Listen to me." He wrapped his arms around her, surrounding her with all of his love. Before he continued, he pressed a kiss on her temple. "You didn't cause me to lose anything. Whatever happened isn't because of you. There were years of choices and decisions that led to the crash and our loss, but don't you ever, ever take the blame." He cradled her close to him as her body wracked with sobs. Hunter did the only thing he could, hold her until she calmed down. He knew her breakdown would come eventually. She'd been dealing with the information about how she came to be Rebecca Lange from Joe fairly well, but never did she seem to fully process it. Of course coming to the state where things happened would send her into this feeling. He just hadn't expected the guilt. He had a feeling this was only the beginning of her breakdown. He'd have to get her through it somehow. Short of giving her answers, he had no idea what else to do to ease the pain.
"I knew you'd get upset." Her voice was muffled against his chest.
"I'm not upset, angel. I'm stunned. How can you think-?" Hunter shook his head. "Never mind. I don't have room to talk, but you've got to know how much this breaks me inside. I wish I could give you what I got today. I wish it so much that it physically hurts that I can't. You're partly right."
She stiffened in his hold.
"You're right because I was happy today. Not that I'm not happy other days, because I am. Every morning I get to wake up next to you and get another day closer to marrying you brings so much joy to my heart. But today, I got to revisit a part of my old life I'd forgotten about. It's like a floodgate of memories. I tapped in to an old love of playing basketball. But even without those things, I still get to lay my head down next to the most amazing woman at night."
"I'm sorry. I know I'm being such a-"
No, he didn't want her to do that either! He stopped her from apologizing with a kiss. "Don't be sorry for your feelings, Bec. I just wish you weren't feeling this way."
She finally pulled away and wiped her eyes. "I'm so mad at myself. The whole time we were out there, I wished someone would recognize me the way they did you! It's like ... like I had a streak of jealousy, and I don't do that stuff! I don't want to be that person!"
Hunter pressed his thumb against her cheek before he kissed her. "You long for the same thing I do. Peace. A chance to understand. Closure. Okay, you're a little envious. So what? It doesn't make you a bad person. Wanna know something I don't think I told you before?"
"What?" Her voice held a tinge of curiosity.
"When I first heard you had a family after we were found, I was jealous. You had a place to go, and I was left empty-handed. When I realized what I felt, I wanted to kick myself in the ass. I didn't want to be jealous that you had somewhere to go. Me, a twelve year old boy, being jealous of an eight year old girl who went through hell. It's a normal feeling, Bec, no matter how much we do or don't want to feel it."
"Somehow, twenty years later, you got the better end of the deal," she said with a bitter edge.
"I guess looking back, I did. Who knew the Langes were such cold people? We didn't have a clue back then what we do now. But that's not the point. What I'm trying to say is, it's a little natural you're feeling envious. I'm not upset. It only makes me want to give you what I can't even more."
"Maybe it's better that I don't know," Becca mumbled.
"Do you want to know where you came from?" This one bugged him. Becca wasn't one to quit.
She nodded, but averted her eyes away from his face.
"Then it's not better," Hunter insisted. "What will be better is when we find a lead." All these people in their lives only had bits and pieces of the truth, and it wasn't enough. Not by a long shot. No doubt Jed was damn good at his job, but without a major lead to go on even he couldn't track down where Becca came from. Her existence before becoming Rebecca Lange wasn't traceable, not without some kind of hint or idea.
I wish I could ask you, Mom and Dad. I need to give Becca peace of mind, and I can't. Hunter held her close to him, closed his eyes, and wished hard.
*****
Two hours later, Becca found herself unable to sleep. She tossed and turned, then finally decided to head down to a vending machine and grab a drink and a snack. The walk would do her some good, anyway. She grabbed her key card and change purse, then opened the door. She hoped the hall light pouring in wouldn't disturb Hunter, but he didn't move. Good. He needed his sleep.
Downstairs, the lobby was quiet and calm. At this hour, not many people were up. Becca pushed coins in the machine and grabbed a Dr. Pepper. Then she bought a bag of chips. A flash of movement from the corner of her eye caught her attention. Joe? What was he doing up?
"Joe!" she called, grabbing her stuff as quick as possible to follow him.
He stopped right by the back door. "I didn't expect to see you up."
"Same to you," Becca replied. "I couldn't sleep. Hunter asked me about what I was feeling earlier, and it just makes my mind race."
"Join me for some fresh air?" He gestured to the direction he'd been going.
"Love to." Fresh air would do her some good.
Chilly air engulfed her as she went outside. It was a lot colder than she'd expected, but not unbearable. Still, a shiver rippled through her. They made the walk to the pool area in silence. Considering the weather, no one else was out here. It was peaceful. Just what she needed.
Joe settled in an upholstered chair. Becca sat in the one beside him and opened her soda can.
"I know you probably don't think the best of me-"
She whirled on him. "Why do you say that?" Truthfully, Becca wasn't sure what to make of Joe. At times, it felt like he held back, as if he knew more than he let on. But this was a man from Hunter's past, and she knew he cared about Joe, so any negative thoughts she had were kept to herself.
"Are you really going to tell me otherwise? You're a good hearted gal, and you keep a lot of what you feel about some people hidden. I can't blame you. I played a part in changing your past. I'd hate me too."
Becca sighed, took a sip of her drink, then leaned back. She didn't particularly want to talk about this, but oh well. "I don't hate anyone. It's too strong of a word and shouldn't be used lightly. I admit I don't know how I feel about you most times. You took part in altering my identity. I was somebody else before becoming Rebecca Lange. A child who died. A child no one knew died. That bothers me, and I don't know if I'll ever find out where I came from." She set the soda can down. Why did this have to come up now? She already couldn't sleep, and talking about it was only going to keep her awake.
"If I could go back, I'd have done more. I would have learned more about your family. I didn't want to be so much a part of it."
"But you were. You became more a part of it when you made sure no one knew a child died. You'll never know how it feels. I feel like a replacement. It's a sick, twisted thought, and it w
on't get out of my head," Becca snapped. "I've lived a life of secrets that I didn't even know about, and I can't take it anymore." Part of her wanted to tell Hunter to stop the search because it was a waste of time and money. They had no clues and nothing to go by.
She'd thought at first about the little boy who'd brought her to Hunter's dad. He could have been lying. But if that had been the case, there would have been a report about a missing baby. Wouldn't there? No reports had been made around the timeframe this story began.
Becca stared up at the black sky. Where was her family now? The brother who'd given her away, any other siblings, parents? She jumped up from her chair and paced around the pool. With no destination in mind, she continued to walk, needing ... needing what? Ugh! Becca made it near the door before turning around again just in time to see a shadow leap towards Joe. He watched her from his spot in his chair. He had no idea someone was behind him.
"Joe! Watch out!" Becca shrieked. With her body full of adrenaline, she ran back their way. The dark hooded figure pulled something out of his pocket, and Becca's heart sank. The flash of metal terrorized her. One of them was going to get hurt tonight.
The person grunted and shoved Joe to the side. He stumbled and fell. The shadow came toward her, instead. He was quick. Becca barely had time to move. The person caught up to her. His arm slid around her from behind, pulling her toward him. She was about to scream when his gloved hand covered her mouth. All her instincts on high gear, Becca fought. She kicked backward. The taste of leather filled her mouth as she yelled against his glove. Her sounds came out muffled.
Where was Joe? Did he get out of here?
"So you're the one," a voice whispered in her ear. "You weren't supposed to be here to see this. Too bad. Now I'll have to keep you quiet."
"Leave her alone!" Joe shouted from behind them. He must have thrown something at the back of the guy. He stumbled forward and thrust Becca on the ground. She hit the pavement with a loud thud, but she didn't stay down long. The man struggled with Joe, and the older man wasn't holding his own well. When their attacker noticed Becca come closer again, he shoved Joe away and reached for her. His hand wrapped around her right wrist and dragged her toward him. Becca fought as he pulled something from his pocket again. As the object glinted in the light, she realized he had a gun. He raised his hand in her direction. His finger was right there on that trigger. Panic seized her, and she reacted.
Becca curled her hand into a fist and aimed right for the throat. That's where she got him, right in the middle of his Adam's apple. Her fist connected with him, and he swore. "You little-" he choked. Whatever was in his hand fell and clattered to the ground.
Becca hit again. They tumbled down. The man clutched his throat and scrambled toward the weapon. She kicked at it just as his hand was on the trigger. A loud shot pierced the night. Deafening. Becca reeled back, completely surprised by the sound and the action.
When the man stopped moving, Becca realized what just happened. She'd kicked the gun at the same time he pulled the trigger, and it had been aimed his way. Blood. There was so much blood around the now unmoving form. From behind him, Becca saw the crimson color drift into the pool water. The attacker's arm twitched, and she feared he would jump up and finish whatever he'd started. She took a few steps back, unable to tear her gaze away from the scene.
The reality of everything weighed her down. By this time, people had heard the commotion. Hotel staff ran outside, one towards Becca, one toward Joe, and one towards the man on the ground.
Questions were fired at them both, but Becca had no good answers. Sirens wailed in the distance. That must be an ambulance and the police heading here now.
The man stopped moving. Becca overheard someone say something about dead, and she panicked. Did she just kill that man? That's not what she'd meant to do! Becca just wanted to stop him from attacking her and Joe. OhGodOhnopleaseno.
As she tried to answer questions, her voice cracked, until she could no longer get her words out.
No, not again!
I didn't do this. I didn't do this, Please let this be a terrible nightmare. Let me wake up in Hunter's arms.
Chapter Three
Hunter's dreams were strange. He tossed and turned until the crack of gunfire close by stirred him from the restless sleep. He flew out of bed, trying to understand the surrounding noises. His heart raced. There was a big commotion coming from outside. What the hell was going on? He reached over to check on Becca, but she wasn't there.
"Bec?" Maybe she was in the bathroom. No light on in there, but Hunter checked anyway. He squinted when he turned on the switch. No Becca. Did she get up to find out what the commotion was all about? He snapped his fingers. That had to be it.
Peering out the window in hopes he could get a good idea of what happened, Hunter hit panic mode at the sight of a crowd hovering around the pool area. Someone lay sprawled across the ground near the pool. Was that ... blood in the pool? Something dark swirled in the water near the person.
He sprung to action, grabbed his pants and a shirt, quickly tossed them on, then bolted from the room. Apparently he wasn't the only one with the same idea. He wanted to know what happened, but most importantly, he had to find Becca. Why would she go down here without him? She'd been upset. Maybe she couldn't sleep and went for a walk.
Okay, now he worried. That commotion downstairs, missing Becca. Dread seeped in, and he rushed around the other curious bystanders. When Hunter rounded the corner, he spotted Joe.
And Becca.
Both were visibly upset. Hunter uttered a curse, startling people around him. He ignored their glares and ran outside to reach Becca.
Sirens in the distance grew closer. Joe and Becca were huddled close together.
"Bec, what happened?" Hunter finally made it close enough to reach for her. She whirled around and threw herself in his arms. He glanced over to inspect a little closer. He had a feeling the body on the ground was just that- a body. Dead. Did she witness this? Was that why she cried uncontrollably? And why was Joe out here too? "Hey, it's okay. I've got you," he whispered, hoping to calm her a little.
Joe edged closer, his face twisted in a deep, troubled frown. "That man attacked us," he told Hunter, barely able to get his words out.
"What?" Hunter raised his voice.
Becca pulled away, still trembling. She raised her hands and signed. So she'd lost her voice. Not good. "I couldn't sleep. Joe and I were talking. I got up to move, and the man came out of nowhere."
She never got a chance to finish her story, and Hunter never had much time to react. The police and an ambulance had arrived.
An hour later, Hunter stood outside amidst the chaos with Becca and Joe. He never even knew she'd left the room! He pulled her in his arms as the paramedics covered the man with a sheet. At that moment, Becca fell apart.
She'd killed a man. Self-defense. He'd attacked both her and Joe before she defended herself. The man had pulled out a gun, and Becca reacted. She'd hit him in the throat twice, and when he fell, the man reached for the gun. As she tried to kick it away from his grasp, the gun went off.
Who the hell was this guy? From the sounds of it, he went for Joe first.
Becca squeezed her eyes shut as they moved the body. She leaned on Hunter, unable to stand on her own from being so shaken.
"From the security footage, the story checks out," one of the officers said to the other as he walked back outside with the hotel manager. "The man attacked them first. He pulled out his gun and aimed it at the lady, and the young lady here acted accordingly." He gestured at Becca. "Self-defense."
"I didn't mean to kill him. I punched him, then kicked the gun as he pulled the trigger," Becca signed, staring at Hunter. "I just wanted to startle him to drop the gun, and he had a grip on me. He went for it again just as I tried to get it out of his range."
"I know, angel," Hunter whispered, pulling her back to him again. How was he going to get her through this? How does anyone get through some
thing like this? Becca had so much to deal with in her life, and this new thing could really send her over the edge. They'd been close a few times.
She backed away again. "What's going to happen to me? Am I going to jail?"
Hunter's heart ached for her. Poor Becca. "No, you're not going anywhere. It was an accident, and you defended yourself. You're okay, Bec." He pressed kisses in her hair, holding her shaken body close to him.
From a few feet away, Joe watched them with his own look of fear and disbelief. He looked away when an officer asked him something. One of the cops came back and stood before Hunter and Becca.
"What happens now?" Hunter blurted, hoping he'd say the same thing he'd just told Becca, that it had only been self-defense and nothing terrible would happen to her. He held her close to him and tried to calm her shaken nerves. His normal soothing tactics weren't working, and understandably so. Pain increased behind his eyes, and he wondered just how much longer they'd be out here. What he wanted most was to lock himself away with Becca and hold her. He couldn't even imagine half the things she was probably thinking and feeling right now. Just when they were starting to get past the worst, this happens.
"You all have no clue who that man was?" the officer asked one more time. There'd been so many repeat questions as everyone tried to make sense of the story.
No, but it was obvious the man knew Becca. At first, Hunter thought maybe an old grudge against Joe, until she told them what the man said to her the first time he'd grabbed her. "So you're the one."
That could mean only one thing. Somehow, this guy was associated with Sylvia. That was his first thought. But why go after Joe? What did Sylvia have against Joe? All he had to do with it was the lawsuit, right? Why would she have a grudge against him over that? So that damn woman was still out there plotting. And Becca killing her new accomplice wasn't going to go over well, if he was in fact connected with her. A shiver ran down Hunter's back. He had to find a way to keep Becca safe.
"No one personally," Hunter answered.
A Forever Masterpiece (The Masterpiece Trilogy Book 3) Page 3