"How do you live with yourself?" She whipped her head up to watch him.
Several gasps filled the room. From beside her, Hunter straightened, then reached for her hand. "Bec..."
"I can't. I can't sit here and be normal after what I just found out. I'm sorry. I keep thinking of all the ripples of events. I know it was a tough choice, but answer me this. How do you live with yourself? We can't change it, but you could have told us this months ago!" She pushed back her chair, the scrape of the bottom making her cringe. "I'm sorry. I need a little breathing room." Without another word, Becca darted up the stairs, her airwaves constricted with painful sobs. She ran to the art room and closed herself inside. From below, loud voices rang out, and she wondered if her outburst caused a fight between Hunter and Joe.
Becca stared out the window at the large snowflakes. Then she grabbed some black paper, opened the door, and stepped outside to catch them. A new technique she learned with her camera gave her inspiration to capture snowflakes and take pictures of them. Once she had a few, Becca set the paper down on the table out on the balcony.
Rushing inside to get her camera, she went to work, pushing real life's pain and struggle out of her mind. It didn't work as well this time, but it was still a decent distraction.
Someone rapped on the door.
"I'll be out in a while!" Becca called. She hadn't locked the door, so whoever stood behind it could easily walk in, but hopefully they wouldn't.
"I'm not waiting a while. I'm coming in right now," Hunter said from the other side of the door before opening it.
She continued to take pictures from different angles, focusing on the snowflakes. Becca avoided looking at him.
"Bec, we need to talk about this ... What are you doing?"
"You'll see." She continued to take pictures. "Something new I think you'll love." Becca knew Hunter wouldn't drop the conversation, but she wished he would.
Hunter waited for a few minutes. Once Becca set the camera down, he pounced, circling his arms around her. "Bec-" Haunted eyes searched hers.
"I'm not apologizing. Maybe I should, I don't know, but I couldn't take another moment in there. Why did this have to be today? Why couldn't we, for once, enjoy a first together with happiness?" It was so much more than that, but Becca couldn't muster up a decent string of coherent, sensible thoughts. They had bigger things to deal with than the fact that their first Thanksgiving together didn't turn out the way they hoped.
"I know. I wanted that more than anything, too. I pushed him. He showed me the text, and I made him tell me what he knew. Maybe I should have waited-"
Ugh! Becca put her fingers against his lips. "Don't you apologize, either! We shouldn't have to keep being sorry for wanting to know the truth, or for saying what we feel. Isn't that what you always tell me?"
Hunter stared back at her. "It is."
"I'll be down in a little while. I just need a little time to calm down. I'm so angry, Hunter. There's too many secrets and so much pain. Just when I think it can't get worse, I'm proven wrong. I can't stand it!"
"I know." He drew her closer, running his fingers through her hair. "This one hit me hard, too." Soft kisses were pressed in her hair.
Becca relaxed against him. She slid her arms around his waist and held on as if it was the last time she'd ever hold him. Tears rolled down her cheeks. "I don't know how much more I can handle before something snaps," she admitted.
"Let it snap. I'll be right here to catch you. You've held on to so much for so long. Don't get as bad as I did, Bec. Let it out," he soothed, rocking her in his arms. Laughter from the girls downstairs drifted through the walls.
She clung to him, her head resting against his chest. Hunter said nothing for the longest time, and neither did she.
"Dance with me," Hunter whispered.
Becca pulled back. Did she just hear him right? Dance with him?
"We're going to have a good first, right here, right now. We've earned the right. You and I can share a moment." Creases formed around his eyes. "I know, it's crazy, but why not?"
Indeed, why not? Becca laughed quietly. Oh how she loved this man! "You win."
"Of course I win. I have you and the promise of forever." Hunter held her close to his body. He hummed a melody, and they swayed as if they actually had music. "Close your eyes and picture in your mind our day. Do you see it?"
Becca lowered her eyelids and let Hunter guide her. She could see the day. An image of her walking down the aisle in the beautiful dress she'd bought filled her head. She could see Hunter's gorgeous smile as their eyes locked on one another. The backdrop of the ocean, and the sound of the waves crashing on shore. Yes, they were going to have a perfect wedding day. "What's the song you were humming?" she asked, still keeping her eyes closed.
"It's something I heard on the radio the other day. It totally fits us. I'll have to play if for you if you haven't heard it yet. I think it's called Thinking Out Loud." Hunter sang a few lines.
"I love it," Becca whispered, wanting more.
"I thought you might. We could have it played for our first dance." He sang a few more lines, still swaying with her.
Becca opened her eyes. "I love you so much, Hunter."
"I love you too. Forever." He let her go and held out a thumb.
They sealed their promise and kissed. Becca wished they didn't have everyone in the house right now. She wanted to stay with Hunter like this much longer. His hand lingered on her cheek, and they stood there in each other's arms in silence.
Becca let go after a few more minutes like that. "I was thinking about bringing some leftovers to Henry and his uncle later."
"Good idea. Take someone with you, like Rissi or Shara. I'd go with, but we can't both be away from our company," Hunter suggested.
"Okay." Becca went for another kiss. "Hunter?" she called when he was at the door.
"Yeah?"
"I hate to say it, but I'm not sure how much I trust Joe. I know he's an important part of your past, which is why I never said anything..."
His face crumpled. "I feel it too. People and secrets change feelings after so many years. I didn't want to say anything, either. I'll just keep him close and find out what I can. This is a huge blow, and I still don't know whose side he's on. Joe still has a lot to lose if all of this comes completely out in the open. What happens if we find your family? All these questions fill my mind all the time. I don't want to be surrounded by untrustworthy people, but until we figure out who's real and who isn't, there isn't much left to do."
*****
Hunter left Becca to cool off, even though he wished he could stay with her. They had a houseful of friends and family, and it wasn't fair, even though looking at Joe made him feel things he wasn't sure how to handle right now.
Speaking of Joe ... He waited at the top of the stars. "How is she?"
He really had to ask? Hunter held back an angry remark. Instead, he remained calm. "Pretty pissed. And for Becca to show how angry she is, you know it's bad." Hunter averted his gaze. "How do you expect her to feel? Joe, there's so much to try and comprehend. First, and the biggest, is what you and the Langes did. Then there's Sylvia. Oh, and how the hell did this Nathan guy figure out where we were? Why then? What tipped him off? Sure, I wanted answers, we both did, but there's so much more to this story it's sick." Hunter curled his hand and stuffed it in his pants pocket. "Does Sandra know?"
"Yeah, she knows. She didn't right away, but after the suit, I came clean. The guilt about the money and the firm, plus the past ate at me until I actually suffered with ulcers over it. It was pretty ugly for a while when she found out what happened. Sandra had no idea initially about Becca and what I helped do."
"I'd ask if this is why you never took me in or came to find me, but I guess I have my answer," Hunter said in a low, hurt voice. "I wondered if you had anything to do with the crash." He should not have just said that, but the words had already been spoken. Damn!
Joe gripped the banister so t
ight, his knuckles went white. "How could you think-?"
"Here's the thing. I didn't know what to think! You were like a brother to my dad- my honorary uncle! So close to my family. My parents die in a plane crash going on an emergency trip you helped arrange to keep secrets. We were never supposed to make it home, were we? Why else would I be on that plane? I was twelve, had nothing to do with this, and my parents take me on a trip to help Becca's family? Why?"
"Well you couldn't stay with me!" Joe raised his voice.
Hunter retracted his hand from his pocket, then stuffed it there, unsure what to think. "Why's that?"
"A case your father and I were working on. A big one. We had a pretty upset rival. Getting you guys out of there at that time was supposed to be a smart move. I had nothing to do with the crash, Hunter! I'd never wish that kind of pain on anyone! I loved your dad like he was my own brother!"
"Which you so kindly forgot about once he died, huh?" Hunter bristled, then brushed past Joe. Hell, he shouldn't have said that, but his anger got the better of him. Jaw clenched, he stalked off.
Downstairs, a handful of concerned faces stared at him. "Everything okay?" Shara asked.
"Just perfect." Hunter's response dripped sarcasm. "I'm sorry today wasn't the day we all hoped for. Then again, this is me. Is it ever?" He avoided everyone's startled responses, then headed for the kitchen to begin the clean up process.
"Hunter." Sandra approached the kitchen. "I overheard your conversation with Joe."
Scooping a big pile of mashed potatoes into a container, he dropped the spoon in and faced her. "I might have been a little harsh." Understatement. He should apologize, even if what he'd said had been the truth of how he felt.
"Maybe, but you need to know the whole thing wasn't easy on us. I had no idea what Joe did before Becca's grandparents went for that suit. I was plenty pissed, hurt, and so much more when I found all that out. Joe had nothing to do with the plane crash. All he wanted was to keep your family and Becca safe."
"You know what happened in Maryland, right?" Hunter returned to putting food away. Potatoes splattered when he moved in angry motions.
"The man who came after him? Yes, I know about it," Sandra replied.
"Joe should have told us some of this before, not that the attack would have been avoided. Becca and Joe could have been killed."
"Maybe he should have, but you showed up at our door unannounced after twenty years, and it's been one thing after another since then. Did you want him to reveal this information out of the blue?"
"I just want to know who I can trust!" Hunter yelled, dropping the spoon again. It hit the side of the container and fell to the floor.
Tense silence filled the room.
"You can trust Joe," Sandra said, finally breaking the quiet.
"Then he'd better show me that. Right now, he's on the list of suspects in my eyes. I'm sorry it has to be that way."
Chapter Fifteen
"No wonder you're so upset!" Rissi exclaimed as they were on the way to the hospital about an hour later. She sat in the passenger seat with a giant bag full of leftovers for Henry and his uncle.
"I'm beginning to wonder if we'll ever make it out of this with a sane mind." Becca stared straight ahead. "I've been holding on for so long. When Hunter let go, look what happened. I'm afraid."
"Hunter had it built up for years," Rissi pointed out.
"So have I, if you look at it that way." It took secrets being brought out and moving in with Hunter to realize it.
"True, but you both have support systems in each other. I know you've had a lot thrown at you with last summer, and all the events that happened since. I would have broken a long time ago. I admire your strength, especially after Maryland."
"I can't even get that out of my head. I thought if I acted normal- Wow, yeah. I did what Hunter did." The truth materialized right in front of her face. She tried to live a nontraumatic life when it wasn't honest. She had to face the demons head on, no matter how painful or difficult. "He almost died looking for answers." Her voice choked.
"You did, too," Rissi declared. "That night could have gone so many ways."
Becca bumped the steering wheel with her fist. "Exactly. Every time we try to forge ahead, we're thrown into danger. At least with Hunter's, we know what caused it. The PTSD. It doesn't explain being attacked in Maryland. Someone doesn't want us to find out. What do we do? We know too much, but too little. We can't just stop now. I know I thought about it, but that was my knee-jerk reaction to ki- the Maryland incident."
"I really wish I had answers for you, girl. You deserve so much good, and I know in time it'll come. Just like you and Hunter being together."
"Rissi, I know you're doing what you always do, and I love you for it, but I'm honestly unsure of this. I feel like something big is coming, and we're never going to come back from it mentally." She managed to make Rissi speechless, but neither of them commented about it the rest of the way.
No matter how bad her day had been, Becca knew Henry, his mom, and his uncle had it far worse. They'd just buried a husband, father, and brother. Those wounds were fresh. Becca chided herself quietly and tried to put on a strong front again, realizing that the inner resources for strong fronts were starting to run low.
Perhaps Hunter and everyone else had a right to worry about her spiraling, because Becca sure felt like it.
"Becca! What are you doing here today?" They ran into Celia on the way to Cherie's room.
Becca held up the bag. "I really hope this is okay. I wanted Henry and his family to have a little Thanksgiving home cooking."
The woman's eyes misted with tears. "What a sweet gesture. Cherie is up and moving a bit today, and she went to see the baby. I think we can get the three of them together so they can have a little dinner. Thank you." Her gaze flicked over to Rissi. "Is this your sister?"
Becca reached for her best friend's hand. "Sisters at heart. This is Rissi, my best friend."
"Lovely to meet you! Let me talk to Cherie. Henry and his uncle went for a walk. Oh, there they are now." She pointed, then took off for Cherie's room.
Henry's face lit up a little when he saw her, then ran into Becca's arms. "Hi, Becca." She wrapped her arms around this sweet little boy and hugged him tight.
"Hi Henry. My friend and I brought some Thanksgiving dinner for you and your family." She glanced up and met the uncle's eyes. Why didn't she remember his name? Did he ever tell her? "I wanted you all to have a little something homemade."
"This was really great of you." Relief warmed up the man's eyes.
"Well, look who we have here." A nurse wheeled Cherie out of her room, who broke out in a smile at the sight of Becca, Rissi, and Henry. Tears welled up in the frail woman's eyes. Becca watched her closely. She still had so far to go, but at least she was smiling.
The nurse led the way to the cafeteria. Celia took the bag from Becca, promising to return soon with warm leftovers and plates.
"We're going to go back home, but I hope you all enjoy," Becca said. "I'd say happy holidays, but..."
"Thank you, Becca. Truly," Cherie said. "This means a lot that you'd come out here to see us on a day meant to be with loved ones. Thank you for thinking of us."
"You can't stay?" Henry stood before her, tugging on her hand.
"No, buddy. It's been a long day, the snow is falling, and I need to get back. I'm sorry." She'd have to come back real soon.
Disappointment dragged his shoulders down, and his face fell. "Okay. Tell Hunter hi for me."
"I will."
"Nice meeting you, Rissi." Cherie waved.
On the way out, Rissi whispered to Becca. "I feel terrible for them."
"My thoughts exactly," Becca replied.
"Henry seems so attached to you."
"I think he senses how much I understand his situation. It puts so much into perspective, doesn't it?"
*****
Rissi and family left for home Friday afternoon, and that evening, Joe and
Sandra waited for their cab. Talk about tense. The last twenty four hours had been that way. While Becca, Rissi, Chad, and Jade went out Friday morning, Hunter was left to deal with Joe. He'd actually been the one to suggest to Becca for them to go out, because she wasn't anywhere near ready to talk to Joe. Now that it was time for them to leave, Hunter figured he'd better say something. Becca was upstairs working on paintings to bring to Brock, so he left her to her peace.
"You know the events haunt me every damn day of my life. I'd give anything for your father to be alive. It kills me that you don't trust me." Joe studied Hunter intently.
Hunter held back a retort. "Can you blame me, though? I don't want to not trust you. Other than Becca, Shara, Todd, and Beverly, I'm not sure who I can trust. It's not a good feeling when half the people in my life have secrets. Someone is determined to expose them all. I can't take much more. Neither can Becca, and she's coming in at her breaking point, which worries me. You want my trust? Earn it, Joe. I love you. You've been like family and I'm glad we reconnected, because you opened up a part of my past I'd lost, but I don't trust you yet."
A car honked from outside, signaling the cab had arrived.
"Your father would hate this between us right now." Joe reached for his rolling bag.
"My father would hate all these lies," Hunter snapped back. "Don't bring him into this. He's not here to defend himself. Take care, Joe. You too, Sandra. Keep me updated on any more texts or weird stuff." If his father had lived, maybe these events would be different. But they weren't.
"We will," Sandra promised. Unlike Joe, she reached out to hug him tight.
Hunter stiffened, but he went with it, returning the gesture. He knew she hated to be in the middle of this with him and Joe. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
"We all are. No one likes this position we're in." Sandra nodded, moved back, and exited the house.
Joe hesitated, staring at Hunter with a huge flash of remorse in his eyes. "I don't blame you for being angry, either of you. What hurts me the most is you think I had anything to do with the crash itself. It was spur of the moment, getting you guys on a flight and to where the Langes were on vacation. I didn't know about the pilot's suspension. I didn't know a damn thing about any of that! I don't even know what went down on the plane to and from, especially with Sylvia. All I knew was that there was a lot going on at once. Becca's brother came looking for her, Sylvia found her step dad, and a huge case. Hunter-"
A Forever Masterpiece (The Masterpiece Trilogy Book 3) Page 14