The truth was, she’d use any excuse to be close to him. It had quickly become her favorite place in the world. And just like Whitney Houston, she exhaled.
* * *
Brynn sighed as she rested her head against Axel’s chest and in a split second his entire life changed. His heart cracked wide open. Holding Brynn in his arms, hearing her say that he was a good hugger (which was hands down the sweetest, most sincere compliment he’d ever been given), and seeing her blush as she looked up into his eyes shattered any walls, any protection, any defenses he’d ever constructed.
This was a huge mistake.
Axel knew that he should’ve just left the restaurant when Brynn’s friends did. He could’ve waited for her outside and followed her home from a safe distance. That was what he’d been hired to do. But when he’d seen her crying he hadn’t been able to walk away.
For weeks, he’d kept his distance. He’d spent as little time with her as possible. He’d gone out of his way to avoid having conversations with her. All because he’d known the danger of even one interaction. And he’d been right.
And now it was too late. One dance, one blush, one sigh was all it took for him to fall madly, completely, head over heels in love with Brynn Daniels.
His pulse raced as he tried to plan his exit strategy. He needed to end the dance, get her home safely, and lock himself in his apartment so that he wouldn’t declare his undying love for a woman who didn’t even know the real reason he was in Whisper Lake.
“How’s Izzy doing?”
Her question caught him completely off guard and made his heart swell even fuller with affection for this woman that he’d swear was too good to be true.
“I don’t know,” he answered honestly, hearing the raw emotion in his voice.
She lifted her head and a wrinkle appeared between her brows as they furrowed in confusion. “She doesn’t want to talk about it?”
“She doesn’t want to talk. At all. She’s not answering my calls or texts.”
“When’s the last time you talked to her?”
“It’s been a while. A few weeks.”
“Did you guys get in a fight?”
“I guess.” He inhaled slowly through his nose as he told himself to stop talking.
The last thing he needed was to feel even closer to the woman that he couldn’t get out of his mind. Sharing personal details about his life was not something he’d ever been in danger of doing before. But the thing was, opening up to Brynn felt as natural as breathing. Before he could stop himself, he heard the words spill out of his mouth. “Every day she was calling to tell me that she hated school and wanted to leave. And I kept trying new ways to handle it. The last time we talked I tried tough love.”
Her eyes widened. “Uh-oh.”
“Yeah, it didn’t go well. I said some things I shouldn’t have.”
“Did she get upset?”
“Yes, but not in a hysterical way. She was calm.”
Brynn hissed through clenched teeth as she cringed. “Oh boy.”
He loved that she understood that calm was much worse than hysterical. It was like she had a teenage shorthand.
“I’ve tried calling her. Texting her. Even emailing her. And she won’t respond to anything. I’ve been stalking her Instagram just to make sure that she’s alive and well.”
“I never thought I’d say this,” Brynn grinned, “but thank God for social media.”
He felt himself smile and just like that, the weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders. One conversation with Brynn and everything felt lighter. Safer. Happier.
“Have you…” she hesitated before asking, “apologized?”
“I would, if she would ever call me back. I never thought she’d stay this mad at me for this long,” he admitted.
Brynn’s head tilted to the left as her fingers brushed the back of his neck. He was sure that it wasn’t something she was doing to purposefully drive him crazy, but the sensation of her fingers lazily playing with the hair at the nape of his neck was making him want to crush his mouth to hers.
“I don’t know Izzy so I can’t tell you what she’s thinking. But I’m guessing that she’s not mad at you. She’s probably hurt. Most of the time anger is really just a symptom of pain. An apology can go a long way to healing any pain or hurt you caused, especially if it wasn’t intentional. And I know, you would never do anything to intentionally hurt her.”
He stared at her in awe. Just when he thought he couldn’t fall harder for her, she said something like that and he did. Her blind faith and trust in the person he was made him want to be the man that she saw.
“Sorry.” She shook her head and the fruity vanilla scent he’d smelled when he’d pulled her into his arms wafted through the air. “I didn’t mean to analyze. It’s a force of habit.”
“Don’t apologize.” There was huskiness in his voice that he hadn’t meant to be there. “You never have to apologize for being you.”
She let out a forced laugh. “I think there are a few people that would disagree with you there.”
“You really have no idea how amazing you are, do you?” It wasn’t a rhetorical question. He was honestly stunned that she seemed completely clueless to how fucking incredible she was.
She sucked in a shaky breath and licked her lips nervously. His eyes tracked the light pink tip of her tongue as it traced the seam of her lips. The sight was the most innocently erotic one he’d ever seen. Every cell in his body came alive with fiery desire. Arousal raced through his veins as he inhaled slowly in a failed attempt to douse the flames of lust blazing in him.
Besides his pants growing snugger by the second, the only evidence of his struggle was his hands flexing, causing his fingertips to dig into the soft curve of her hips. It wasn’t something he’d meant to do, but when he did, he felt her tremble beneath his touch.
That was it. That tiny ripple of response was all it took to snap the thin thread of self-control he’d managed to hang onto. Acting purely on instinct he lowered his head. As he did, he watched her eyes widen and then fall to half-mast.
Just as his mouth hovered above hers, the lead singer from the cover band that had been playing came over the mic and announced that they were back for their second set. It was enough of an interruption to burst the bubble that the two of them had created.
His lips grazed hers as he asked, “Do you want to go home?”
“Yes,” she breathed without any hesitation. “Yes.”
Wasting no time, he guided her off the dance floor and down the steps of the outdoor deck. One yes would’ve been enough, but hearing the second one had his heart and other body parts straining with unspoken emotions and desires. Emotions and desires that he wasn’t sure he could contain any longer even if he tried…but after that dance, he was done trying.
CHAPTER 14
“Thanks for the dance?” Brynn repeated Axel’s parting comment after he walked her to the door and then left.
He left.
After the dancing, the almost kissing, the “accidental” arm brushes on the walk home (okay, those were mostly her). But still, after all of that…he left.
She stared down at the keys in her hand that had been shaking when she’d unlocked her door and walked in, thinking he’d follow right behind her. Thinking tonight was going to be the night that she’d be able to think back on as she toasted her friends to “good sex.” Thinking that her self-imposed celibacy was finally going to come to an end (pun intended).
But that’s what she got for thinking. Because instead of any of that happening, he’d thanked her for the dance and walked around the side of the house to the garage. She’d stood in her doorway in stunned disbelief and listened as his feet climbed the old wooden steps leading to his apartment before she’d shut her door.
She was in shock.
She’d spent the walk home trying to remember if she’d shaved her legs this morning and whether or not her bra and underwear matched. She’d been absolutely c
ertain that her five-year dry spell was about to be broken and that certainty equally terrified and excited her.
But it turned out, it wasn’t so certain.
It seemed that at every turn she was judging the situation with Axel all wrong. Each time she thought things were headed in a certain direction with him, he’d make a sharp U-turn and take her completely by surprise. From the first night they’d met until tonight, that man didn’t do anything that she expected. And it was making her begin to wonder if it was her, if she’d been out of the game so long that she was really that bad at picking up on vibes—or was it that he was sending mixed signals.
Tonight did not bode well for her decision to start dating again. Maybe the saying was true that if you don’t use it you lose it. She’d been so concentrated on her education, career, and most importantly being the best mom to Ryder that she may have sacrificed her mojo.
That depressing thought hovered over her like a dark cloud as she made her way down the hall toward her bedroom. She untied her shirt and slid the material off of her shoulders. Her heart was still beating a mile a minute as adrenaline raced through her.
“I guess ‘do you want to go home’ doesn’t mean what it used to,” she mumbled to herself as her hand searched the wall for the light switch.
When she found it and flipped it on she heard Lucy let out a frustrated sigh. Her pug was clearly upset that her darkened slumber had been interrupted.
“Sorry, your highness,” she said sarcastically. “But believe me, things could’ve been much worse for you tonight. You could’ve ended up sleeping on the couch.”
Her princess pug responded with an even louder sigh than the first before nuzzling her head into the pillows.
“I still can’t believe he left.” Brynn heard herself continuing. “I really thought he was going to come in.”
Lucy opened one eye and glared at Brynn, begging her to stop talking.
“I’m not crazy,” she insisted, immediately recognizing the irony of explaining this to a dog. “We almost kissed.” She flopped on the edge of the bed and unbuckled her shoes and slipped them off. “I might’ve been out of the game for a while, but I know what almost kissing is.”
Brynn stood and sucked in her stomach as she unbuttoned her jeans and shimmied out of them, tossing them in the hamper as she continued to rant about her night.
“We were dancing, under the stars.” Brynn opened her top drawer and grabbed a pair of cutoff sweats and a comfy T-shirt. “He asked me to dance. I didn’t ask him.”
Her mind continued to play the night over and over again as she went to the bathroom and washed off her makeup. When she finished and sank into bed, she grabbed her Kindle and pulled up Wait for Me by Samantha Chase. It was her go-to reread when she was agitated, and this was DEFCON 1 agitation.
As she read about Emma and Lucas, she tried to lose herself in the story, but her mind kept replaying the dance in her head.
She sat up with pillows propped behind her, then she lay down and turned on her side. Then sat up again with less pillows. No matter what she did, she couldn’t get comfortable. She would get under the blankets only to push them off seconds later. She adjusted her pillows a half-dozen times, and even thought about getting a glass of wine but realized that probably wasn’t the best idea since she’d had three drinks at the bar.
Finally, she gave up the illusion of reading, curled up beside Lucy, and scratched her behind the ears. Lucy nuzzled her soft head into Brynn’s palm. As she stared at her adorable dog she tried to reconcile the fact that she was in bed with her instead of Axel. Snuggling with her pug was not what she’d thought she’d be doing in bed when she and Axel left Lanterns.
Her mind was like a broken record that kept skipping back to the same song over and over.
“Our mouths were less than an inch apart.” Brynn told an uninterested Lucy. “We were lip to lip. When he asked if I wanted to go home, his bottom lip brushed against mine. That’s a kiss!”
On cue, Lucy lifted her head and licked Brynn across the face. Lucy didn’t do very many things on command. Basically, only two things: sit and kiss.
About five years ago, right after she and Ryder adopted her, Lucy was asked to participate in the Valentine’s Day Festival. Whisper Lake was known for its over-the-top festivals. And one of the staples of the festival was having a kissing booth that was “manned” by a dog. Being the pup in the booth was an honor. When Lucy was chosen as that year’s special pup, Brynn had worked with her for weeks to get her to kiss on command.
Brynn wished Axel kissed on command.
He might.
The voice in her head sounded suspiciously like Jess’s.
She shook that thought out of her head. If Axel had wanted to kiss Brynn, he would’ve. She didn’t need to read He’s Just Not That Into You to know that. What she needed to do was face reality and move on. No more daydreaming, no more wishing and hoping that something would transpire between her and Axel.
Brynn had indulged in the fantasy of what could be for far too long. It was time to get back to the reality of her life. A reality that didn’t include having affairs with hot, mysterious men that showed up in town out of the blue.
“Come on.” She stood up and picked up her twenty-pound puppy who refused to walk once she’d gone to bed. So each night Brynn carried her pug outside for her last bathroom break of the day. “Potty time.”
As Brynn opened the back door, she had to admit that these nightly trips had been a lot more exciting since Axel had moved into the apartment. She told herself each night that she wasn’t going to look up to see if his light was on, but each night that’s exactly what she did. It was a game of self-control that she lost every time.
Tonight, she didn’t even try to pretend that she wasn’t going to sneak a peek. She boldly gazed up at the window that overlooked the small patch of grass that Lucy was doing her business on. There was a light on, but she didn’t see any movement.
Despite her resolve to return to her regular scheduled programming, questions about their nonexistent relationship filled her mind.
Had they almost kissed on that dance floor?
Was the attraction she had for him one-sided?
Did he feel anything when he looked at her?
Was it even close to what she felt when she looked at him?
Basically, she just wanted to know what was going on between them. Or if anything was going on at all.
And the answers were just up those stairs.
Would it be so bad if she knocked on his door and cleared the air?
People did that if there was any kind of misunderstanding…right?
It sounded like a reasonable thing to do. Mature, even.
At least then, she’d know where she stood. Her mind wouldn’t try to fill in the blanks. There’d be no more confusion. No more sleepless nights tossing and turning and wondering if he was thinking about her, too.
Feeling good about her proactive decision, Brynn picked Lucy up to put her back inside the main house and tripped over her own feet as she walked up the steps of her deck.
Shoot. The thought hit her that maybe this idea sounded so good because of her liquid courage, and tomorrow morning she’d regret it.
She paused and thought about chickening out.
Screw it. She’d played it safe for thirteen years. She was due for a little morning-after regret.
CHAPTER 15
Axel dipped his head beneath the ice-cold water and half expected to see steam rise off his heated skin. Never in his life had he been this turned on. Brynn had almost proved too much of a temptation for him to resist.
Cursing under his breath, he moved so that the freezing spray cascaded down his chest and back. He was coming to the conclusion that taking a cold shower was a myth and it was not going to do the trick. He might be harder now than he was before he’d stepped under the chilly water.
It wasn’t the shower’s fault. He was beginning to accept that there was no antidote to w
hat ailed him. Brynn was too potent.
The faintest touch of her soft mouth brushing his was all it had taken for him to lose his mind completely. He’d asked her if she wanted to go home, and when he’d asked that question he’d had no plans to leave her on her doorstep.
Thankfully, during the five minutes it took to walk back to her house, he’d realized that there was no way he could follow through. He was here to do a job, and crossing that line was not part of it. He knew the right thing to do would be to remove himself from the assignment, pack up, and have someone who was not personally involved be reassigned to Brynn’s case.
That was the right thing to do.
So why did the thought of doing it sound so fucking wrong?
He blew out a frustrated sigh as he shut the water off and grabbed a towel from the rack hanging on the wall. After drying off, he stepped into his sweats and when he straightened he noticed that he was still at half-chub. It seemed to be a permanent condition around Brynn. His body had no concept of what was appropriate and what wasn’t. It had no grasp of what or who was off-limits. And Brynn was off-limits.
As he left the bathroom, he was prepared to put on mindless television before spending another restless night with visions of Brynn’s naked body playing like a peep show in his brain.
There were some things that once seen could not be unseen. As much as he wished he could erase the image, Brynn naked was forever imprinted in his mind’s eye. Axel adjusted his semi-hard junk and wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to live a normal life.
He’d just stepped into the bedroom when there was a knock at the door. His heart slammed into his chest. His visitors were limited to two people: Ryder and Brynn. Ryder was spending the night at the high school so that meant there could only be one person standing on the other side of that door.
Axel flexed his hands as he stared at the doorknob. He’d barely managed to escape tonight without his self-control snapping. If he opened that door, chances were he’d do something he couldn’t undo. He could ignore the knock and let her believe that he was already asleep.
Whisper of Attraction Page 13