She grimaced at the cold, clinical terms; they always made her skin crawl. “Okay,” she whispered, letting the nurse ease her back and putting her feet into stirrups. He inserted the wand and she jumped at the cold lubricant.
“Sorry about that, we don't have a warmer in here,” he said apologetically, his brow furrowed as he looked at the screen, clicking a small mouse and murmuring to himself. A few minutes passed as he probed and pressed against her stomach, making more notes on the computer. He finally looked at her again and smiled tightly. “Zoe.”
She nodded, her heart high in her throat and strangling her. “Yeah?”
“I am afraid there is a problem...” he started slowly, gently patting her bare, hairy knee. She lost focus at that point, simply watching his hand gently touching her Chewbacca leg and ignoring the words. He shook her shoulder and she couldn't respond. The world had suddenly gone very dark and it was hard to breathe. The bands of anxiety had tightened around her and she panicked, grabbing at her throat. She watched the doctor check her pulse and grab an oxygen mask, fitting it over her face. The clean scent infiltrated her nostrils, but nothing could get through. Something's wrong... Her eyes slid shut, a tear glistening at the corner of her lashes and splashing down against her cheek.
She woke up in a hospital bed, the oxygen mask still on her face and an IV attached to her hand, drip dripping something clear into her arm. Slowly she sucked in air and struggled to sit up. The perky nurse with Dora scrubs happened to walk in her door just at that moment and smiled at her sadly. “Lay back, Mrs. Hall, let me get the doctor for you, okay?”
Zoe sobbed, feeling more alone than she ever had in the cold, sterile hospital room. Dr. Pat did his awkward tap tap at the door and let himself in with a sad smile. “Hello there, Zoe. You were a little dehydrated so we hooked you up to some saline and we're giving you a little oxygen for now, your anxiety is high. Do you think we can try talking?” He sat down on the edge of the little hospital bed and she shifted her legs to give him room.
“Yeah.”
“Okay, sweetie. I'm afraid that the baby's heart isn't going as fast as it should be. Your baby is measuring perfectly at eight weeks, but the heart rate is very slow, we are barely picking it up. By eight weeks, we should have a strong heartbeat.” He patted her knee again, and she swallowed.
“What does that mean?”
“Well, usually that a miscarriage may be coming. We can let nature take its course, whether that means you continue to carry the baby and it grows fine, we don’t know. But the chance is there that you could miscarry. We can keep an eye on your hormone levels every few days and just let things play out. As of right now, things don't look the greatest.”
“Is it anything I did?” she sobbed, her voice cracking.
He patted her knee again. “No, honey, unfortunately miscarriages are common.”
“I haven't been eating a lot... I haven't been taking vitamins.”
“Honey, it's not your fault. We may be able to check the baby again in a week and things could be perfect; I'm certainly not God. I just want you to go home and relax. Is your husband here?”
“No,” she whispered, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, the IV in her left hand scraping against her cheek.
“Deployed?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay,” Dr. Pat said with a sad smile. “Just go home and relax. I want you to come in on Monday for more blood work, and then again on Wednesday. I'll see you on Thursday; we will do another ultrasound. If you have any bleeding, come straight to the ER, okay?”
She nodded woodenly and he handed her the ultrasound pictures of her baby. The baby was little more than an awkwardly shaped alien, but she was in love. “Thank you,” she murmured, her eyes glassy and over bright.
He nodded sadly and patted her knee again for good measure. “I'll see you next week, Zoe.”
Chapter Three
The week had stretched out before her, being filled with going on base and having the vampires suck her blood twice, and now here she was again at the doctor's office. Zoe's heart was firmly ensconced in her throat and it was hard to swallow. Dr. Pat was running ten minutes late; with each tick of the second hand around the perimeter of the clock, her anxiety skyrocketed.
She was dealing with this all alone, refusing to tell anyone about the situation. All Grams and Layla knew was that she had an appointment today. She didn't want any pity. If the baby was fine, it was fine. If not, then she'd say. There was no need in upsetting everyone. It would be her secret, and hers alone.
With his familiar tap tap, the doctor entered the room and smiled reassuringly in her direction. “Good morning, Zoe.”
“Good morning, Dr. Pat,” she twisted her fingers in her lap so hard they throbbed from the assault.
“Your blood work looks good, Zoe. Your levels are rising accordingly, and I am very happy with the progress. I'd like to do another ultrasound just to see how things look, but just based on the blood, I'm pleased. If you'd go ahead and lie back for me?” He walked to the door and called for the nurse, her bright smile matching her ketchup red hair.
Zoe eased back on the table, her feet gliding into stirrups. The doctor dimmed the lights and patted her knee again, the one she'd just shaved that morning. He squirted lube on the wand, and reminded her again of where he was going to put the damned thing. She squirmed as he inserted it, and watched with bated breath as his brow furrowed then cleared, his mustache tipping up on the corners.
“How do things look, doctor?” Her heart thundered in her ears and she swallowed nervously.
“There is a strong heart beat.” He swiveled the monitor so she could see and her eyes widened at the little baby on the screen, the heart roaring along, each little blub blub making her fall even harder for the life she carried.
“The baby is okay?”
Dr. Pat shrugged. “Your baby is measuring at about nine weeks now. These ultrasounds aren't always accurate, but now we see a baby... So, yes, Zoe, I think you and your baby will be fine.” He patted her knee again and withdrew the wand. “I'll leave you to get cleaned up, and I'll see you in a month, all right, Zoe? Things look great.”
Tears filled her eyes and leaked from the corners of her eyes, coursing down the sides of her face to end up in her dark hair. Her hand came to her soft stomach and she cradled it lovingly. Our baby is alive and well... Our baby is fine, Calvin.
The nurse helped her sit up and passed her a tissue. Zoe smiled through the deluge and blew her nose. “I'm so excited!”
“I bet; it's a very exciting time, Zoe. I'm going to set up your appointment to get some basic blood work drawn between now and your next appointment, as well as your next appointment. I'll be right back, honey. You go ahead and get dressed and I'll give you a few minutes to get ready, all right?”
Zoe nodded and blew her nose again. “Sure, thanks.”
As the nurse left, she sat in the quiet of the little room and closed her eyes for a split second, simply savoring the happiness she felt. Fleeting as though the glorious feeling was, it was beautiful while it lasted. She peeled the paper gown off her body and pulled her jeans on before turning to slide her feet into her old worn sneakers.
She walked over to the window to stare out while she waited, her hand absentmindedly rubbing over her still soft belly. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she pulled it from her jeans and glanced at the screen. Layla had texted her, wanting to know how the appointment went, and she shot a simple, “good, really good” back before sliding the phone back into the denim confine.
The nurse knocked on the door and peeked her head in the door and Zoe winced again at her bright hair color. “You're all set, Mrs. Hall,” she smiled, handing her a sheet of paper containing dates for her next appointments. “You call if you have any spotting, cramping, et cetera, understood?”
“Absolutely,” Zoe responded, smiling and nodding.
“Fantastic, see you soon!” She ushered Zoe down the puce green hallway an
d pointed to the exit. “Have a great day.”
“You as well,” Zoe replied. She floated on cloud nine the whole way home, so mesmerized with the thought of her baby that she would never be able to tell anyone how she made it home.
Later that night, she laid in bed reading another book on her Kindle, this one by a horror writer named Jade McCahon. Probably not my best idea to be reading horror before bed, she shivered, cuddling down tighter into the comforter. The silence swelled around her until she heard every creak and whisper in the apartment. When her phone rang, she shrieked in terror, her heart pounding against her ribs as she scrambled through the bedding to find the source of the ringing.
She prayed that it would be Calvin, not even glancing at the screen to check the number before she answered. “Hello?”
“Well hello yourself, darlin'. When were you gonna call me and tell me that I was a daddy?” Derek's drawl curled through her ears and she stiffened. No horror book could ever compare to the panic and terror she felt at hearing his voice. Her chest tightened and her pulse skittered. “Darlin',” he murmured, his voice whiskey soft and sweet, “Aren't you gonna talk to me? I mean, even after you marrying that man...I'm still willing to forgive you.”
Hell rose from deep inside her belly, the flames licking higher and searing through the bands of panic that held her tongue and she screamed, “You're willing to FORGIVE ME? Me? What did I do to you, Derek? Not a damn thing. I was faithful to you. You missed out on me. I certainly won't be crawling back to you.”
“Aren't you lonely laying in that big bed, Zoe? Don't you remember how good we used to be together?”
She snorted and sat up quickly in the bed. “How GOOD we used to be together? Was that BEFORE you banged my best friends or after? How many others were there?”
“That, darlin', is of no importance. Not when you're carrying my baby. You need to divorce that darkie and come on back with me. I'll forgive you for straying. We can raise our baby together, down here in Alabama, where you belong. With me.” He finished his barrage on a soft note, a satiny sweet pleading that used to make Zoe bend to his will.
“Go to hell, Derek. The baby might not even be yours.”
“Not according to Calvin, who so graciously gave me a call. He said I had a right to know the baby could be mine.”
Zoe groaned. Damn you Calvin and your conscience! “It doesn't change anything, Derek. I'm happily married to Calvin.”
Derek laughed long and hard. “Baby. You two were together what, a week? Come on, honey, we have HISTORY. You and Calvin might've grown up together but can you really say what you two have is LOVE? That quick? Or is it just you're hoping he'll fill the void from when you left me?”
“You're such a prick, Derek. I have always loved Calvin; the whole time I grew up, I loved him. I wanted to be with him instead of you. But Callie had him, and then he went away. I – I don't have to explain myself to you, Derek! I'm happy. When the baby comes, we'll run a paternity test, but not a minute before.” She pulled the phone away from her ear and hung up.
Derek sent rapid fire texts, her phone vibrating beside her as she fell back on the pillow and sobbed.
D: I have the right to see my baby.
D: I have the right to watch my baby grow.
D: You can't deny me that right, Zoe. Do you want your baby to be without a good Daddy? Like you? Don't shut me out.
She read the texts through her tears and threw the phone across the room, the smack of plastic against plaster satisfying. Rolling up into a ball, she sobbed herself to sleep.
Chapter Four
The days flowed into each other, the late fall blending beautifully into an early winter. The first snowfall took her by surprise. We just don't have snow like this in Alabama. Pulling her woefully inadequate sneakers on she stepped out of the apartment and took a cleansing breath of crisp air. Snow filled her shoes quickly and she shivered, realizing the need for real winter wear. Her clothes were too snug these days anyway; a shopping trip would soon be warranted.
She'd seen the doctor again and the baby was growing perfectly. She didn't know if she was having a boy or girl yet, but the doctor said it was only a matter of time.
Thanksgiving was only a week away and Grams was pushing for her to come home. Zoe was a nervous wreck, her nerves taut and frayed. Derek was constantly blowing up her phone with a barrage of texts, telling her how much he loved her and wanted to be with her, and nothing from Calvin, again for weeks.
I know if I go home, Derek will try everything to convince me that we should be together. But I don't want to stay here either. Her palm swept over her burgeoning bump and she sighed, shifting Calvin's sweatshirt away from her skin for a moment. As she released the fabric, it molded back around her soft belly again.
I need clothes and boots and a coat. But if I go to Alabama... I won't. Go shopping or go home... A smile flitted across her mouth and she nodded to herself. Going home. Shaking the snow off her sneakers as she walked back inside, she rushed through packing, grabbing only the basics, so excited to see her adoptive family again. She could already feel Grams' arms around her and hear Layla's perky voice.
Checking online, she found a flight leaving later that evening, one she could easily catch and would put her in Mobile first thing in the morning. I should call and tell them I'm coming... but what's the fun in that? I bet Layla would come get me...and she could keep a secret, right? With a giddy giggle, she shot her sister-in-law a text message.
Z: Going to be coming into Mobile in the morning. Catching the next flight out of Denver. Can you come get me?
Layla responded a few moments later with a simple text.
L: OK what time?
Z: My plane lands at 9 am.
L: U got it.
Zoe frowned at her phone, sort of expecting a little more excitement or fanfare from her sister-in-law about her coming home but she shrugged it off. Teenagers are so damn moody. As she hurried through the apartment, her mind whirled with excitement. A flutter from her belly made her pause and she clamped her hand to her midsection. Another small movement came and her eyes widened as she realized what she felt. Her baby was moving.
Tears spilled down her cheeks and she wiped at them with the back of her hand. “Oh Calvin, I wish you were here.”
* * *
Calvin shifted in the tent, blowing out a breath as he tried to sleep. Only a few more days until he could get back to base and give Zoe a call. It had been too long already, and he hated to think about her being alone. He longed to hear her soft voice again and he rubbed at his eyes as his mind went too quickly to her satiny skin and incredible curves.
He rolled to his stomach, firmly pressing his boner into the sand. No need in feeling all that, can't do anything about it. He forced his mind to other places. I wonder what our baby will look like? A small, niggling thought played at the back of his subconscious. What if the baby doesn't look like me at all? Can I really take care of another man's child?
Calvin flipped over again and stared up into the darkness. His battle buddy snored softly in the night and he wished he could find sleep so easily. Exhaustion was weighing on his body, making him slow, but he couldn't find peace.
Thinking of the baby growing inside of Zoe again made him smile. Regardless if the baby has nothing of me, it will have something of her. I promised to be hers and what kind of man would I be if I went back on my word? I knew she had baggage when we got together. Who doesn't? I promised I'd keep her safe. I've known her all my life. His eyes grew heavy as he imagined a baby with soft, dark hair and luminous eyes. That baby is mine.
* * *
“We're about thirty minutes outside of Mobile, Alabama,” the stewardess' voice chirped through the speakers of the plane. “Please turn off your electronic devices and store your trays, thank you!”
Zoe groaned, stretching her muscles a little in the seat. The older woman who sat beside her smiled. “How far along are you, dear?” She nodded down at the bump Zoe could no lon
ger hide behind her clothes.
She flushed and smiled back. “About thirteen or fourteen weeks along.”
“Have you felt the baby move? Do you know what you're having?” The woman's eyes brightened and Zoe grinned wider.
“Yes, I've felt the baby move a bit, and no I am not sure what we're having yet.” She slid the tray back into its compartment and shifted her butt, hoping to get blood flow back.
“We? Where's your husband, sweetheart?”
Zoe sighed sadly. “He's in Afghanistan.”
“Oh! A soldier. Well I thank him and you for your service. I sure hope he comes home to you soon.”
Zoe was granted a relief from the barrage of questions the woman was pelting her with by the sudden need to race for the bathroom. “If you'll excuse me,” she smiled tightly.
“Certainly.”
Moving quickly to the back of the plane, she blew out a breath of relief as she slipped into the small restroom. How do people have sex in these things? Jesus! Once finished, she scrubbed her hands and splashed cool water on her face, steeling her nerves against the woman with the innocent but hurtful questions.
Zoe made her way back to her seat and busied herself with looking out the window as the plane landed. She was a jumbled up mess of nerves thinking about being back home, but excited at the same time.
She walked out into the terminal and found baggage claim. Pulling out her phone, she turned it back on and texted Layla.
Z: You on the way?
Minutes stretched on and there was no response. With a frown, she got her suitcase and rolled it over to the rental car place. What the hell, Layla? Just as she was signing paperwork, a hand brushed her shoulder.
November Foxtrot (Rhythm of the Heart Book 2) Page 3