Her Cowboy Lover (Pleasure Ridge Ranch)

by Flynn, Ava

  "Is there something you’d like for me to call you?" he asked.

  "I’m sorry?"

  "A name you’d like to use."

  She scrunched her forehead, wondering if people used false names when they came here. She’d never thought about that being an option, despite Heidi’s assurances of privacy. "My name is fine."

  "Which is?"

  Heidi must not have told him. "Lily."

  "Pretty name."

  "Thanks." Suddenly uncomfortable with the falseness of the small talk, she stood and carried the cake to the refrigerator. Keeping her back to Connor, she placed the remainder of the cake in the fridge and quickly shut the door, extinguishing the light it let out into the cabin.

  When she turned around, she noticed Connor was standing.

  "Did I say something wrong?" he asked.

  The note of sincerity in his voice caught her off guard, especially after her thoughts that their conversation had been wrapped in a layer of falseness. "No. Sorry. I’m...just not used to compliments."

  "I wasn’t saying it just because you’re a guest here," he said. "Lily is a pretty name."

  She bit her bottom lip, not knowing what to say or how to move forward. In that moment, she wished she was one of those women who were forward and carefree, the ones who could grab a man and drag him to bed, have wild and crazy sex with him and walk away afterward. She’d half convinced herself that she could do it, but now serious doubts were creeping in.

  "We can take this as slowly as you want," he said.

  "I don’t know if I can do it at all," she said, hating how her voice quavered.

  "That’s okay, too," Connor said as he took a slow step closer to her. "But you came here for a reason. It’s possible that this all might be easier if you stop thinking about who you are in your real life. This isn’t real life, not on this ranch, not in this cabin."

  As she listened to his words, she suddenly wondered if he was talking about himself as much as he was her. Who was he? What was his life like outside of who he was here? Why did he do this for a living?

  She closed her eyes and lowered her head. She couldn’t think about those types of things. Instead, she needed to focus on what he’d said, that this wasn’t real life. That who they were here had nothing to do with who they were beyond the confines of this ranch. She deserved that much, to be able to do whatever she wanted with no consequences, no questions, no regrets. Before she could tell herself why she shouldn’t, she lifted her gaze and walked toward him. She settled her hand on the back of his head and dragged his mouth down to hers.

  There was a moment of surprise on his part, but only a moment. Then his mouth moved over hers, and his tongue slipped against hers as he wrapped his arms around her, bringing her closer. He tasted of coffee and strawberries, and the solid warmth of his body against hers caused her to moan into his mouth.

  As if they had a mind of their own, her hands slid through his hair. In return, his hands roved over her back then lower, lower until they rested against the top swell of her hips. His fingers pressing into her flesh, bringing her closer to his arousal. The feel of what their contact was doing to him sent a thrill of power through her, something she’d felt very little of in the past three years.

  Connor’s words echoed in her head again, and she decided to wait no more. She wasn’t Lily Gibson here. She was just Lily, a woman who wanted to feel ecstasy and abandon and freedom from the restraints of her daily life.

  "Make love to me," she said against Connor’s wet lips.

  "You’re sure that’s what you want?"

  His question surprised her again, but oddly it made her want to be with him even more.

  "Yes. It’s why I came here."

  Connor’s hands shifted away from her hips. He took her hand in one of his and led her toward the bedroom.

  * * * *

  CHAPTER THREE

  Once they were in the bedroom, Connor turned and immediately started to unbutton her blouse. To keep her nerves at bay, Lily tugged on Connor’s belt, slipping it free then releasing the button below. Her hands halted when Connor spread her blouse wide and lowered his lips to the swell of her breasts.

  Lily gasped just as he slipped the front clasp of her bra free. She let her head drop back, inviting Connor to taste as much as he wanted. He wasted no time in letting his tongue blaze a trail toward the tip of her breast then taking it fully in his hot, wet mouth.

  "Oh, yes," he said. She pushed aside the flush of embarrassment at her wantonness, determined to think about nothing but the delicious sensations vibrating throughout her body. She grabbed the back of Connor’s head, digging her fingers into his scalp and pushing his mouth down harder on her.

  Connor opened wider and took more of her in. His tongue danced around the tip of her breast in fast circles, driving her mad with desire. And then he began sucking, eliciting a moan from her worthy of a porn flick.

  Wanting to feel more of him, she grabbed the two halves of his shirt and yanked them apart. Buttons pinged off the floor. "I’ll pay for a new shirt," she said between ragged breaths.

  Connor lifted his mouth from her breast. "I’ve got more."

  She ran her hands up his smooth chest then over his shoulders, ridding him of his shirt. She couldn’t see his chest, but it felt like perfection. Nicely sculpted muscles. Warm, taut skin. A raw sensuality that she didn’t have to be able to see to feel.

  Connor tugged her close and lowered his mouth to hers. Her head spun as she kissed him back, long and deep and hungry. Her core began to throb, and waves of heat pulsed outward over her skin.

  She wanted him, wanted him now before the person she was outside this ranch came roaring back and made her stop. She grabbed his zipper and yanked it down. Connor followed her lead, and within moments they were both standing in a pool of their jeans, their shirts tossed who knew where. Only underwear remained, a thin layer of fabric that barred the point of no return.

  Connor’s lips left her mouth to trail a parade of kisses down her neck to her breasts. She imagined a path of tiny flames left in the wake of his mouth’s passage. He pressed one hand firmly against her back as he took her breast into his mouth again and resumed the wonderful sucking sensation. He skimmed his other hand across her stomach. When his fingers slid below her panties, she arched against him.

  "You like that?" he asked, sounding as if he were asking permission.

  Oh, yeah, she did. But it wasn’t enough. "Don’t stop." Her real self tried to make her doubt what she was doing, but she shoved it ruthlessly away. "Don’t talk. Just do."

  Her words still hung in the air when he slipped two fingers inside her, spreading her wide. It was enough to make her feel wetter than she had in longer than she could remember. Even pleasuring herself, when she’d been in total control, hadn’t made her this wet.

  "Oh, I’m going to come already," she said, sad that it would be over so quickly.

  Connor’s breath wafted past her ear. "Don’t worry. We’ve got all night. Plenty of time for it to happen more than once."

  More than once. That had never happened. Just the thought of it caused her temperature to go up what felt like several thousand degrees. She gripped Connor’s shoulders as his hand moved faster and faster. Without thinking, her body started moving against his hand, bucking like a wild horse. When she came, she held on tighter to Connor’s arms for fear she’d fall and make a fool of herself.

  "Don’t worry," Connor said next to her ear. "I’ve got you."

  Lily’s heart turned over. She closed her eyes to try to stop the crazy thought that he cared. He didn’t. He was just a man she’d paid for sex, and judging by what had just happened he was very good at his job.

  She would not think about how deep down she wanted this to happen with someone she loved, with someone who loved her.

  With a growl of frustration at herself for her inability to stop thinking so damn much, she shoved Connor backward until he bumped into the bed. Another nudge and he fell back
onto it. It didn’t take her long to get rid of her panties and his underwear. Before she lost her nerve, she climbed atop him and let his length slide inside her.

  Connor let out a primal moan of male pleasure, and she’d swear her insides tingled at the sound. He lifted against her, and in the next moment they’d found what felt like the most natural rhythm. She rocked against Connor, safe in the knowledge that he couldn’t see her face, that she was anonymous beyond her first name.

  His big hands came to rest at the bend of her legs where her thighs met her hips, and his thumbs rubbed against her mound each time she surged forward. The sweet friction only added to the pleasure of feeling the hard length of him slip in and out of her center. She threw her head back, her long hair swaying against her bare back as she gave herself over totally to the sensations that could only come from the joining of a man and a woman.

  The moment her muscles began to contract around him, she sensed he was getting close to release as well. He lifted himself to face her and wrapped her in his arms. Together they rode out the waves of their releases.

  Afterward, Connor collapsed back onto the bed, bringing Lily with him.

  "I think you’ve killed me," he said with laughter in his voice.

  "You seem very much alive to me."

  He did laugh then and pushed part of her loose hair behind her ear. When he reached to caress her cheek, she grabbed his hand and laced her fingers with his instead. Gradually, the combination of their lovemaking and the long day of travel started to tug on her, making her eyes droop. She really should send Connor on his way, but she couldn’t form the words. It felt so good to be held in a man’s warm embrace, one who expected nothing from her beyond what she was willing to give.

  She’d rest, just for a little while. Then maybe they could work on seeing how many more times he could bring her to completion before dawn arrived.

  * * * *

  Lily awoke with her heart pounding and panic in full bloom. The darkness nearly suffocated her. Why was it so dark? What lurked in the dark? Matthew Macon? Was he here to finish what he’d started that day at the gallery?

  She sat up so quickly her head spun. The sound of breathing next to her sent a fresh surge of panic washing through her veins. She jerked that direction, and the first sliver of rational thought broke through the panic.

  Connor. The man she’d had sex with. A man she didn’t know. One she knew less than even Matthew Macon.

  She turned away from him and became intensely aware of her nakedness. Somewhere in the dark room lay her clothes. She’d allowed what Macon had done to her to bring her to this, to hiring a man who was no more than a whore and having wild sex cloaked in darkness and shame.

  She blinked against tears as she slid from the bed. She barely held them at bay until she could close herself in the bathroom. But once inside, they fell down her cheeks when she leaned against the door and closed her eyes. What had she been thinking, coming here? How had she convinced herself this would be okay?

  Frustrated, she swiped at the tears. When she felt the tight length of the scar on the right side of her face, she sucked in a ragged breath. She would give everything she had if she could go back three years and not go to the gallery that day.

  But what was done was done. There was no going back. She walked to the sink, and when she looked in the mirror she realized that the first hint of daylight was turning the darkness into a faint gray light. She and Connor had slept all night. She’d known she was tired, but evidently he had been, too. She didn’t care to think about why he might be so exhausted.

  Lily lifted her hand and ran her fingertips over the length of the scar, the thing that didn’t allow her to fade into a crowd, to fade from the public’s memory. More tears slipped from her eyes, and she sniffed. She had to find a way to get past what Macon had done to her, to be happy again.

  And being here at this ranch with a stranger wasn’t it.

  * * * *

  At first, Connor wasn’t sure what had woken him. He blinked a few times, coming out of what felt like a very deep sleep. He stared at the ceiling for a few seconds before realizing he could see it. A new day was dawning, and he realized he should have left long before now. He swung to sit on the side the bed, and that’s when he realized what had pulled him from sleep.

  He turned to face the closed bathroom door. If he wasn’t mistaken, Lily was crying on the other side. Had he hurt her? Pushed her to do something she wasn’t ready to do? He rubbed his hand over his face before standing and walking toward the bathroom.

  "Lily?"

  She didn’t answer, but she’d heard him because the sniffling stopped.

  "Are you okay?" he asked.

  "Fine."

  The catch in her voice told him otherwise.

  "Are you sure?" He lifted his hand and flattened his palm against the door. "Did I hurt you?"

  Again, she hesitated, and his heart dropped to his ankles.

  "No, I’m fine, really," she said. "I just need you to go."

  He opened his mouth, wanting to do something to make up for whatever had made her cry. But she was a ranch guest, and it was his job to do what she asked. He lowered his hand and crossed the room, retrieving his clothes as he went. Once he was dressed, he knew he couldn’t just leave without saying something else, one last effort to make things right. He approached the bathroom door again.

  "Lily, I’m leaving."

  "Okay."

  "If...if I did something wrong, I’m sorry. You can call Heidi, and she can send someone else or refund your money."

  Lily didn’t say anything in response, and her silence weighed on him. But it was time to go, so that’s what he did. When he stepped out into the dim early light, he stopped and looked up at the sky, at the thin sliver of moon still visible even though the increasing light had hidden the stars. He felt older and more worn down than he had after being broken during his last rodeo ride.

  He took a deep breath and came to a realization. He couldn’t do this anymore. Down deep, he’d known it for a long time. But hearing a woman he’d been with cry, that was the last straw. He’d finish out the week, spend time with Lily if by some miracle she wanted to be with him again. But that was it. He had no idea how he was going to make a living, but this just wasn’t him. He’d tried to make himself believe it was, but he couldn’t lie to himself anymore.

  As the dim gray light started taking on some hints of orange and pink, he spotted a patch of yellow wildflowers on the other side of the gravel driveway. His boots crunched the gravel as he strode toward them. Bending over, he picked a dozen of the prettiest blooms then carried them back to the porch. Not wanting to invade her privacy, he simply laid them next to the front door.

  He sighed as he looked down at them, wondering if they would wilt before she found them. Remembering he had a half-consumed bottle of water in the truck, he hurried to retrieve it and place the flowers’ stems inside. It was a pitiful offering, but he hoped it showed her more than his words how sorry he was that her first night at the ranch hadn’t been what she’d hoped.

  Connor headed for his truck, a million questions and the heavy burden of responsibility trying their best to break him more than that bull ever had.

  * * * *

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Lily waited until she heard Connor’s truck drive away before she got in the shower and washed away the evidence of the night before, her tear tracks and the remnants of her little pity party. She was determined to have a good day. If she got nothing else out of this trip, she was going to enjoy the peace and quiet to paint.

  After she got dressed and made herself French toast and bacon for breakfast, she headed outside to retrieve the blank canvases she’d brought. Today, she was going to capture the lovely view from her porch. The surface of the lake reflecting the impossibly blue sky, the native plants hugging the lake’s banks, the mountains in the distance.

  When she stepped out the front door, her foot bumped into something. She looked down
to see water spilling across the porch from a plastic bottle. Her breath caught when she noticed the flowers lying in the puddle. She bent and snatched them up before all of the water flowed out.

  Up close, she realized they were a daisy-like flower with soft yellow petals. She stroked one of the petals and smiled at its simple, soft beauty. Her heart squeezed a little at Connor’s thoughtfulness. When she thought back to how he’d sounded as he’d spoken to her through the bathroom door, she didn’t think he’d faked it. He might not know her, had never seen her, would likely never talk to her again after this week, but there was a genuine kindness about him. She didn’t have to look into his eyes to know that.

  And she’d let him leave thinking he’d done something wrong. She looked down the driveway, but he was long gone. Would he come back? She found she wanted him to, at least long enough so she could assure him that he really hadn’t done anything wrong. He wasn’t to blame for her hang-ups.

  The phone in the cabin rang, and she hurried inside to answer it. She tried not to think about how much she wanted it to be Connor.

  "Hello?"

  "Lily, this is Heidi. I called to see if there’s anything I can do for you today."

  Something about Heidi’s voice told Lily this wasn’t a call that the ranch’s proprieter made to every guest after their first night’s stay.

  "You talked to Connor."

  "Yes, he said that you might be leaving or that you perhaps would like me to send someone else."

  Lily placed the bottle of flowers on the countertop and imagined this man she couldn’t even picture picking them for her, all because he’d felt guilty about something he hadn’t even done.

  "He didn’t do anything wrong. I...I guess I’m still dealing with something that just got to me this morning. It had nothing to do with Connor. Please tell him that."

  "So you don’t want to see him again?"

  "No. Wait, I mean yes, I’d like for him to come back tonight." She swallowed, embarrassed even though she’d never met Heidi. "Maybe just to talk though. Would he be okay with that?"