Ana discovered yesterday that the yacht delayed sending the raft until the crabs had buried themselves. She had seen the yacht out at sea as the crabs were returning from their hunting trip, but the raft had not been lowered until the crabs had buried themselves completely and the sand was smooth once again. Ana had watched the process repeated today, so it was obvious someone was watching the beach to make sure it was clear before sending the raft over.
Ana knew the crabs were no threat for the rest of the day and wasn’t worried about running into them as she tracked Jan. She was sure Jan must know it too as he moved along the path, seemingly unconcerned with his surroundings.
Silently ghosting the boy, Ana continued to move parallel to him while maintaining a position inside the trees. Jan walked easily up the path, whistling as he walked, and stopping just past the spot where Jax had waited for Ana several days ago. Removing the packet from his shirt, he sat down facing back towards the beach, slitting open the flap as he continued softly whistling. Pulling out several sheets of paper, Jan placed the empty packet on the ground at his side and started to read.
Ana watched in fascination as Jan read through the entire group of papers, noting how he separated a few pages from the bunch, folding and placing them in his back pocket. He re-read the rest several times, as if committing the contents to memory, and when he was done, he placed them back in the packet, folding the flap back over and tucking the end inside. Standing up, he moved to the riverbank and proceeded to bury the packet, making sure the ground looked undisturbed when he was finished. Striding back onto the path, he looked straight at Ana’s hiding place and folded his arms across his chest.
“Ana, you can come out now,” he called, not unkindly.
Ana stood stock still, shocked into immobility. Holding her breath, she desperately fought the desire to step out from the trees and greet Jan. Her thoughts a whirlwind, Ana frantically tried to get herself under control. She wondered how he knew where she was, having been certain to keep out of sight and moving silently, not upsetting even the smallest leaf. Even if he had heard something, how did he know it was her? He had called her by name, which meant he was certain of her identity.
“Ana, it’s okay,” he called again. “It’s safe for you to show yourself. Nothing will happen. I know you’ve been on the island for weeks and that means you are free to enter the camp. Please come out. I just want to talk.”
Ana’s blood froze and her stomach dropped. Somehow, Jan knew when she had come back. She couldn’t see how he would have noticed her return since it wasn’t in the usual fashion nor at the usual location. The summit was days away and on the opposite side of the poisonous river, making it extremely unlikely he had witnessed the heli-craft or even knew who was being dropped off. It was possible he knew another path to the mountain, a much shorter one, but it still didn’t explain how he knew it was her. The only possible explanation was that Jan was either being fed information from the outside or he had been in the vicinity when she arrived or shortly thereafter. Either of these scenarios raised a host of questions, most of them problematic. It meant Jan knew much more about the island than he had revealed when last they spoke. It also indicated a greater probability of Jan being a spy for the government, as much as Ana did not want to admit it. She needed time to sort all this new information out and wanted to start doing so immediately, before she started forgetting what Jan said and how he sounded.
Jan had gone quiet, but Ana could hear him breathing, indicating he was still on the path. She wanted nothing more than to emerge from hiding and walk with him. Ana’s heart was aching, and she had to physically force herself to keep still. The directives forbade her from talking to him, and even if he said otherwise, Ana had no way to verify if what he claimed was true. For all she knew, this was another test, and as much as she wanted to be near him again, Ana could not take the chance. She started wishing he would just go away.
“Ana,” Jan finally said, speaking so softly Ana had to strain to hear him. “I don’t understand why you won’t come out. Or why you won’t even say hello. I thought we parted as friends, so your refusal to even acknowledge my existence is making wonder if I missed something when we talked.”
Jan paused and Ana had to bite her lip to keep from responding. She felt a single tear start to track down her cheek but didn’t brush it away, afraid to make even the slightest movement.
“Ana, I’ve missed you,” Jan continued, his voice lowering even more. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you. After you left, I thought about you every day. I worried about you. Were you okay? Did your wounds heal? Were you having flashbacks? And most important, how were you handling the sudden changes forced on you and your family?
“And then, Ana, I started wishing you’d come back. And that it would happen before I left. I was selfish. Wanting you to come back meant you would have to survive the horrors of this place again. And for a longer amount of time. But it didn’t matter. I couldn’t help myself. Every day I promised myself I would stop, that it was better for you to stay away. Telling myself I was a horrible person for wishing you back into danger just so I could see you again. That if I really cared, I’d let you go. And every night, I wished you were here again. And then I found out you were back. And I was happy. And I hated myself for being happy. I should have been upset, angry, worried. And I was. But I was also incredibly happy, hoping I could see you at least once more before we went our separate ways.
“But now you refuse to see me. I hope it’s because something prevents you from speaking, something I don’t know about and you aren’t allowed to reveal. And I can’t force you to talk to me. You know where I am and how to find me, so if you do want to talk, find a way. I’ll be waiting.”
Ana heard the catch in Jan’s voice when he said he had been wishing she came back. Tears silently rolled down her cheeks and she fought the sob that threatened to erupt. Clenching her fists, Ana bowed her head as she heard Jan’s footsteps retreating. When she could no longer hear them, Ana stepped onto the path, watching his retreating form as her heart shattered in a million pieces. When Jan finally disappeared from sight, Ana dropped to her knees and buried her face in her hands, letting the tears flow freely. Ana knew it was dangerous to stay here since there was always the chance he would return, but her emotions had so overwhelmed her that she didn’t have the strength to move. Her reasons for coming back had centered on meeting with Jan once more. Up until now, Ana had held out hope that she would find a way to do so. But the realization that it just couldn’t happen, coupled with his declaration about missing her as much as she had missed him, broke her. Ana could not see any other way of finding the answers she needed nor could she figure out how to meet with Jan and now saw no reason to continue trying to do anything other than wait for her ride home.
When the tears finally stopped, Ana angrily swiped her hands across her face. She was tired, oh so very tired. Everything she had worked for, from the minute she planned a return to the island to the exhausting journey Jax and her had to make to find the rendezvous point, now seemed pointless. All Ana wanted to do was go back to the glade, hug Jax, and sleep for the next five days. Removing the shoes from around her neck, Ana put them back on, noting the socks were now filthy and would need a good scrubbing. Sighing, she stood and wiped her eyes once more, then brushed the dirt from her pants.
Turning to head back into the jungle, Ana suddenly remembered the packet Jan had buried. She realized he had buried it knowing there was a good chance she could see his actions. And that he had placed it where it could be easily found. Thinking further about what he had done, Ana concluded Jan wanted her to see what was inside. Becoming confused about the contradictory actions, Ana began to wonder whose side Jan was on. The packet was obviously meant for his eyes only, otherwise he wouldn’t have taken it into the jungle where no one could see. But he had made sure she could find it, which seemed at odds with needing to hide it from the camp residents. Ana began to wonder if Jan was actually s
pying for the government, for someone else, or working both sides for reasons of his own. Of course, there was always the chance that maybe he felt there was information in the packet that Ana should also be looking at, for whatever reason. It was entirely possible Jan had asked the pilot about her, if in fact the pilot was the one who would retrieve her several days from now. There seemed to be some sort of close relationship there and if Jan missed Ana as much as he had declared, maybe he planned on seeking her out once his sentence was finished. Or maybe Jan was finally taking her vow to save the children seriously and had obtained information that would help her. Whatever the reasons, it renewed Ana’s belief that Jan wasn’t a plant and really had missed her, in addition to the possibility he knew more than he felt he could safely say. Ana began to suspect the government was aware of Jan’s feelings for her and had used them to set another trap. It didn’t explain how he knew she was here, but Ana didn’t put anything past the government, sure they were manipulating Jan as well. She had been right not to approach him or alert him to her presence, but she was getting heartily sick of these tests that seemed to have no point other than possibly amusing whoever was watching.
Fighting down the urge to scream at the government, Ana stepped over to the riverbank and sat, pretending to cry again. She had come to believe that her actions were being monitored and needed a convincing reason for being on the edge of a poisonous river. Ana briefly wondered why Jan had not hid his actions, sure he had to be aware of the surveillance also. Ana was already overwhelmed with everything Jan had said, trying to figure out why he had done what he had done, so she couldn’t spare the time to try and work out yet another puzzle. Instead, Ana focused on the more immediate task, knowing she had to put on a convincing show.
Bending low, Ana initially rested her forehead on her knees. Increasing the intensity of her sobs, she dropped both legs to the side somewhat and dropped her head between them. Hooking her arms under the backs of her thighs, Ana attempted to make it appear she was holding them tight, rocking slightly as she furtively dug up the packet. Quickly unbuttoning her shirt, Ana slipped the packet inside, making sure it sat exactly center and as low as possible. Rebuttoning the shirt, she loosened the bottom slightly so the packet’s edges wouldn’t show. Replacing the dirt, Ana rose and wrapped both arms around her stomach, hunching slightly as she forced more tears and issued an occasional hiccup. Holding the pack close to her chest, Ana slowly walked through the trees, spirits lifting as she convinced herself there had to be some way to converse with Jan. She just had to find it.
14
Chapter 14
Week 4
Day 3
Ana was back at the tree line, watching the beach. She wasn’t exactly sure why she had come, but there didn’t seem anything better to do and this had become a habit. She found herself seated at the edge of the sand without being aware of having arrived, idly doodling once more. Ana thought it highly unlikely there would be a raft arriving a third day in a row but if it did, she didn’t want to miss any chance at possibly seeing Jan. Besides, the vigils were calming, and Ana felt she needed that right now.
Ana had read the contents of the packet. Then she had read them again. Her initial feeling had been one of disbelief, followed by rage. She now understood why Jan had left them where they could be easily found. What was inside related directly to the island as well as the vow she had made to save the children. Ana wondered what the pages Jan had held back contained but only spent a small amount of time worrying over it. She was surprised he had made no effort to hide the burial, surmising that it was something he had done many times before and the normal way of handling the packet after reading the contents. Ana was glad she had hidden her actions, believing the newfound knowledge was more dangerous than what had been secreted in her mattress back home.
Ana had done everything she could to avoid the possibility of being watched while reading the papers, sitting in the center of the glade with no trees or bushes nearby while still maintaining the appearance of grief. She had plopped to the ground, bent her legs, and dropped her head so it rested on upraised knees. Cradling her belly, she rapidly undid the buttons on her shirt and turned the packet upside down. Removing her hands, Ana swiped her eyes and wiped her nose on one sleeve, then tucked both hands underneath her knees, slightly rocking to and fro. Opening the upside-down packet, she slid the sheets out, dropping her knees sideways and grasping her thighs before they hit the ground. Bending lower, Ana read each page twice, committing every line to memory. After reading through the packet, Ana knew it had to be placed back in the ground as fast as possible. If the packet were missing when whoever was sent to retrieve it showed, it could cause serious problems for Jan and probably herself as well. Jan had called Ana by name, so there was little doubt she would be drawn into this if the packet were not there when the owner came to for it.
Glad to have left her hair long, Ana had let it drape down the sides of her face when opening the packet, then reversed the action after reading the contents. Suspicious before, she was now certain the government was monitoring the island and therefore made every effort to shield her actions, hoping they believed what she was trying to portray. Ana had used tears and fake grief in the past to garner sympathy, refining the technique as she grew older. She worried a little about being overly dramatic but convinced herself that a teenage girl who was suffering from a broken heart would grieve in such a matter. Ana had watched girls take to their beds over break-ups back in Flaga, crying for days and weeks at the slightest thing. Ana herself had never felt that way, although she had to admit her first reaction to Jan’s declaration had left her shaken and more than a little upset. Now, she just needed to remember to keep playing the part, at least for a little while longer.
That night, Ana had lain awake for hours, working out how to get the packet back without arousing suspicion, finally coming up with a plan that might work sometime before dawn. Rising at the usual time, she had gone through the Tai Chi routine, followed it with some cardio and stretching exercises, then set off as if to the beach. But when she reached the path, Ana stopped where Jan had been the day before, hoping to give the appearance of being brought up short by grief. Working her way over to the riverbank, she dragged her feet, trying to make it appear the events of yesterday were upsetting her again. Reaching the water’s edge, Ana sat down and stared off into the jungle across the river, working up a fresh set of tears. Letting them fall, she again raised both knees and let her head drop forward, leaning on both knees and wrapping her arms under her upraised legs. Heaving her shoulders to give the appearance of sobbing, Ana quickly re-dug the hole and replaced the packet, covering it over and smoothing out the dirt. Raising her head, Ana looked at the sky, still letting the tears fall. She gave it a good five minutes or so before sighing heavily and getting to her feet. Turning around, Ana blew a kiss at the exact spot where Jan had stood, then walked back into the trees and made her way to the beach.
Before setting out, Ana had again told Jax to stay in the glade. Jax appeared not to mind. Ana often found her companion sunning on the rocks or snoozing in the grass after returning from her daily forays to the shore. She figured Jax had understood about not going to the camp and was content to just hang out and wait until it was time to leave. Ana was grateful for this. She loved Jax dearly but sometimes got distracted by her companion’s antics or her devotion to the little creature. She needed time alone to think and Ana supposed that was why she had come back to the beach.
After the papers had been read and reread, Ana had swept the list written in the dirt totally clean. Once she started picking over all the information contained in the packet, Ana became very worried about what the government might infer from the things she had scribbled on the ground. She had tried to be vague, having begun to suspect everyone and everything here was under surveillance, but now Ana was sure the entire island was riddled with hidden audio and visual equipment. Wanting the government to know nothing about her thoughts or plans,
Ana decided that she should no longer write anything down for fear of being found out. Jax had helped, thinking it was a game as the pair stomped around, obliterating every sign of the writing. Ana held no illusions that the government would stop watching just because she appeared to be giving up, but she hoped the performance was enough to make them believe she no longer wanted anything more than to go home. Ana was going to have to be extra careful over the next several days, keeping up the appearance of mourning Jan while waiting for her ride.
As these thoughts swirled through her head, Ana noticed that the yacht had arrived. Surprised, she watched as it stopped and dropped anchor. The crabs were just finishing their daily feast, so she didn’t move, just focused on the yacht itself. When the crabs had completed their ritual and the beach was smooth once more, Ana watched as the raft was lowered into the water and then head towards shore. Craning her neck, she looked to the left but didn’t see anyone waiting further down. Ana returned her gaze to the raft, watching as the pilot beached it and the occupant refused to get out.
The pilot shut off the engines, approached the occupant, bent over, and, she surmised, cut the zip ties. The occupant was tossed over the side, followed by the backpack. Returning to the console, the pilot restarted the engines and sped away, leaving the occupant standing in knee deep water, cursing and screaming at the rapidly receding craft. Ana knew the feeling all too well, and based on the person’s actions, expected their next moves would be a close replica of the ones she had made when she had arrived the first time.
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