“Oh?” I said, drunk as hell and confused as all get out. I mean, Nathaniel Sutherland was standing in the club in his dark suit with a sad smile on his face and a look that asked me if I was a crazy person.
“I just got Cedric's message,” he said, and he didn't have to shout to get his voice over the music. Nathaniel just had this strong, assertive tone that cut through everything and pierced me right to the heart. He might as well have said, I am going to kick Cedric's ass tomorrow. That's what it sounded like anyway.
“What are you doing here?” I asked as Jamie stepped up beside me and gawped. Apparently she was as surprised to see him as I was. Nathaniel took off his sunglasses and stuck them in his front pocket. He looked … odd … I couldn't tell if it was because he was the only person within a ten mile radius that was wearing an Armani suit or because he had a space bubble around him that nobody else in the club had managed to obtain. Something about Nathaniel was dangerous and sharp. People sensed that, no matter how intoxicated they were, and they stayed back. Just in case.
“I couldn't, in good conscious, leave a client unprotected,” he said, but those were just words. There was something else in his voice. Fear, I think it was. He was afraid that something was going to happen to me.
“I'm not Gillian,” I said and regretted the words as soon as they were out of my mouth. I hadn't meant them to be rude. I was drunk, so sue me. It was just a fact. I wasn't his wife; I was a client. If I wanted to go out on the town without him or Cedric or whoever else, I had every right to. “Sorry.” Nathaniel smiled and crossed his hands in front of him with a sigh.
“No,” he told me. “You're not.” And then he looked up and stared at me as if he was seeing me for the first time. “And I'm sorry. Still,” he continued as I stood there and tried not to trace the firm line of his shoulders, fantasize about taking off his coat, running my fingers down that crisp white shirt, tearing off those fucking buttons … I swallowed hard. “You paid for a week of protection, and I'm going to give it to you.” I blinked at him. Talk about sexual innuendo!
“Oh my god!” Jamie squealed and then she was shoving me forward and into Nathaniel's arms. He caught me easily, dragged me into the private, little space bubble around his person and held me there, nice and tight. His hands held my lower back and his firm midsection was pressed against mine. I felt the hard bump of his gun under his jacket and tried to adjust myself so I wasn't so close. It didn't work. Nathaniel was holding onto me like he was grasping for a life line. I looked up into his dark eyes and I was trapped. My inhibitions were down and my body was on fire from the heat and the sweat and the dancing. Before I knew what was happening, I was kissing him.
At first, it was just me, just this tentative little brush of lips against lips. I almost pulled away, almost turned around and laughed it off, but Nathaniel's fingers tightened, digging into my flesh with a painful pleasure that was twice as intoxicating as the Mai Tai I'd had earlier. Before I knew it, he was kissing me back.
Oh. My. God.
If I thought I'd been kissed before, I was wrong. Whatever I'd done before had been a weak, watery prelude to this heat that Nathaniel Sutherland was delivering. He didn't just kiss with his mouth or his tongue. Nathaniel took my body against his, wrapped his arm around my back and grabbed my hip while his other hand found my throat, slid across my skin and buried itself in my hair. He kissed me like a drowning man gasping for air, like he was tasting me, taking me into him. He made my knees weak and my heart strong. I moaned into his mouth, slid my hands up his chest and put my arms around his shoulders. I think, maybe, if I hadn't been drunk that something might've happened between us, something special, a start to something permanent. Unfortunately, Nathaniel Sutherland was the world's biggest gentleman.
“Theresa,” he said as he pulled his face away. I noticed that he didn't take his hands off of me, not yet. “I'm sorry, but we have to stop.”
“Under different circumstances?” I asked, and I hated the way my breath smelt like Vodka. Ech. Nathaniel smiled and brushed some of the hair away from my forehead.
“Unfortunately,” he said and I noticed that Jamie was actually standing with her ear about an inch away from our faces. She'd never been very good at eavesdropping. She was even worse when she was drunk. “Maybe we can discuss this later?” he asked, and I nodded, smiled my best girly-girl smile at him and promptly threw up.
CHAPTER 14
I woke to the horrid screeching of my cell phone. Rhea had been in a dinosaur phase a few months back and had thought it would be cool if my ringtone was the sound of the screeching velociraptors from the Jurassic Park movie. At eight in the morning with a hangover and a horrible sense of vertigo, I can tell you firsthand that it was not.
“What?” I snapped at Jamie. I'd snatched the phone from the nightstand and was now lying with my head hanging over the side of the bed in case I puked. It never occurred to me to check for Nathaniel.
“You're welcome. I took Rhea to school and Joel packed her what he always packs for the boys on Mondays. A nutritious, delicious, cold slice of pizza, a can of Pepsi, and a bag of potato chips.”
“That's great, Jamie,” I said as I yawned and threw myself back into the pillows. “P.S. I hate you.”
“For what? You had a great time! Granted, you did sleep through the entire movie, but at least Mr. Hot and Bothered Bodyguard was there for you to rest your head on. Besides, you should be thanking me. In what other situation would you have had the courage to stick your tongue down his throat?”
“Huh?” I said, but I knew exactly what she was talking about. Okay, well I didn't remember the movie (for obvious reasons), but I remembered the kissing … I could never forget the kissing. I glanced sharply up at the doorway and found Nathaniel's back, clad in … a T-shirt? Oh. You freaking vomited on him, Theresa, like some sorority girl at a kegger. Nice. Real nice. “I'm late for work,” I blurted before she could say anything else. “I have to go.”
“You own your own business,” Jamie replied as I rolled my eyes and checked my clothes. I was still wearing last night's little black dress. It didn't look so hot now, all rumpled up and smelling of sweat. How attractive. “So, how was he last night? You did sleep with him, didn't you?”
“Don't you have a life outside of mine? Go prosecute someone.”
“We're waiting on a plea deal from the defense. I have time to kill.”
“I'm hanging up now.” I ended the call and set the phone on my nightstand.
“Good morning,” Nathaniel said, voice pleasant and perky. He glanced over his shoulder at me and caught my eyes with his. His gaze took my breath away, and I had to glance at the wall to remember a few words in the English language.
“Morning,” I croaked as I swung my legs out of bed and hit the wood floor with a thump. “I, um, am sorry about your suit.” Nathaniel turned around fully to face me and dropped his hands from his bodyguard position so that they hung comfortably at his sides.
“It's alright,” he told me and on his face was a genuine smile that softened up some of that perfection. Honestly, his grin was just a tad crooked, only noticeable if you looked at it just right. It was a feature that my made my blood thrum with excitement and my hands twitch. Why did you have to be such a hottie? “I was wondering,” Nathaniel began and then paused. Something about him was … off. I watched him run his hand through his thick, dark hair and tried to figure out what it was. It took me longer than I care to admit to figure out that he was nervous. Of little old me. Go figure? “Could you go into work a bit later today?” My heart started to pound and my head went all loopy.
“He's out there again, isn't he?” I asked as I scooted around the end of the bed and paused with my fingers inserted between two dusty aluminum slats on the horrible off-white blinds. I rose up on my tiptoes and peered around for Gary with his shiny eyes and disturbingly blank face. He was nowhere to be seen.
“Actually, no,” Nathaniel said as I watched the couple down the street start a
rather vicious row on their front walk. He was cheating, so I didn't blame her. He even had the audacity to bring his mistress – some teenager with too-blonde hair and the world's fakest smile – over on Sunday mornings when the Mrs. went to brunch with her parents. Pig. I dropped the blinds and turned around, trying my damnedest to keep my eyes from focusing on Nathaniel's pecs. Granted, the T-shirt he was wearing was tight and he was tight and well, they just sort of stuck out at me. “Since we didn't get the chance to go shooting yesterday, I thought maybe you'd like to go today.”
“Now?” I asked as I blinked at him and mentally ran through all the things on my to-do list. My business couldn't run itself, but perhaps I could go in later and get some work done? After all, if I didn't learn to use that gun now, I was never going to. And when Nathaniel left on Wednesday, I would be on my own. If Gary tried something, anything at all, I wanted to be ready for him. “I have a client with a very specific idea in mind for her website. She's so obsessed with the specifics of it that she won't even discuss it over the phone. I have a meeting with her in … ” I glanced over at the clock. “An hour.” Even the thought of meeting with Ms. Brown was horrifying to me. It made the headache I was already nursing desperate to become a migraine.
Nathaniel's face, although carefully schooled, drooped, just a bit.
“Is that a no then?” he asked me with a gentle smile.
“That's a Let Brenda figure out,” I told him and watched as his face bloomed into a wicked grin.
“Good,” Nathaniel said as I reached up my fingers and brushed them across the Kukui nut necklace. “Because I'm taking you out to breakfast.”
***
“Isn't this a breech of the whole client-bodyguard relationship thing?” I asked Nathaniel as we handed our menus to the waiter and stared at one another from across the admittedly short expanse of tabletop.
“I'm playing the boyfriend, remember?” he asked me as he leaned back and studied my face with a bemused expression. “This is something a boyfriend would do. That is, if I'm remembering correctly.” I laughed even though I wasn't sure if it was that kind of moment and took a sip of my ice water.
“You mean you haven't been on a single date since – ” I couldn't say her name aloud. It wouldn't be right. I looked down at my hands and laced my fingers together.
“Since Gillian died?” Nathaniel filled in for me. “No. Not even one.” I looked up at him sharply and blurted the first thing that came to mind.
“Weren't you lonely?” I asked him, taking my own life experience and applying it like a road map over his. When one lover leaves, you move onto the next because life is going to happen whether you want it to or not, and it's too hard if it happens when you're all alone.
“Desperately so,” he said and we locked gazes right there in the restaurant and something passed between us. I don't know what it was, but it made me sit a little taller, push out my chest a little further, smile a little wider. This is ridiculous! You can't be interested in this man. You can't; you just can't. Remember your New Year's Resolution. I glanced away.
“Oh.” That's all I said because I was treading in unfamiliar territory here. With Nathaniel. With myself.
“I loved her too much to move on,” he said with a bitter tone. It wasn't directed at me. At least, I didn't think it was. His voice held too much old hurt, too much pain. This was probably something he'd heard before from his parents, siblings, friends. Move on. People told me to do that when I lost the baby, when I lost Glen, when I lost my chance to be happy. I'd tried. I'd gone out and I'd dated and I'd built the business and I'd found Gary. And look where that had gotten me? I was still lonely.
“She must've been great?” I asked and I noticed that Nathaniel's eyes softened, and I watched in wonder as he reached out and took one of my hands in his. It was just a light touch, gentle and soft, but there was a heat behind it that was frightening. Here we were talking about his dead wife and how he'd never dated anyone and yet, he was touching my hand. And he'd kissed me last night at the club. We hadn't talked about it, but it was in the air between us, hanging like smoke. You might be able to see through it, but you knew it was there.
“Let's talk about something else,” Nathaniel offered softly.
“Like Gary?” I asked because I was absolutely, one hundred percent convinced that this conversation was soon going to be steered back towards my case. After all, Nathaniel had turned me down more than once. The very fact that we were at breakfast together was strange enough. I kind of just assumed that he brought me out to see if Gary would show up. I mean, this wasn't really a date, was it?
“No,” Nathaniel said, leaning back and cocking his head to the side. “I think we've talked enough about Gary.” He paused and flashed me a guilty smile. “For now. I mean, I'm not going to forget about your case or anything. I just … ” He paused and sat there looking back at me from green eyes, one arm resting on the back of the booth, the other sitting on the table. The suit hid his arms from view and I was starting to think that although he looked damn good in it, that that was a shame because Nathaniel Sutherland was built to impress. He had well muscled arms, but they had a different look to them, like they weren't just vanity muscles. They were long and lean and ready to kick some ass. It was the difference between a man who lifted weights to get big and a man who just lived a lifestyle.
“You just … ” I supplied, wanting very much to hear what he had to say. I had butterflies in my stomach. I hadn't had those since seventh grade. The man was absolutely intoxicating. What can I say?
“I just like you,” Nathaniel said and I swear, I nearly melted into that chair. He leaned forward and put both hands on the tabletop. “I shouldn't be saying that. I shouldn't even be here. I should have never followed you to the club last night. It wasn't my business, Theresa. If you dismiss us, that's it. We don't get a say in your well-being unless you ask for it. You could've fired me or sued me. You still could, but I can't stop thinking about you.”
“Because I look like her?” I ventured even though I didn't think that was it. I had to hear him say it though, hear him tell me that he was interested in Theresa McMaster, not Gillian Sutherland. Nathaniel looked at my hands like he wanted to touch them again, but he didn't. He sat back carefully and shook his head.
“You do, but that isn't it. I mean, I'd be lying if I didn't say it helped.” Nathaniel smiled at me and paused while the waiter set our plates down in front of us. “But that's not the only reason. There's just something about you that attracts me.” I choked on my water and nearly spit it across the table at him.
“My life is so messed up, Nathaniel. You don't want to get involved.”
“I already am,” he said as he picked up his fork and stared down at his food. He wasn't seeing it though. Nathaniel's eyes were clouded with memories. When he looked up at me there was a fierce determination burning there that made my heart skip a couple of beats. “I care whether you live or die, Theresa, and not because you paid me to and not because of my wife. I just can't stand the thought of you getting hurt. I'm not asking you to marry me. I just want to give it a shot. What do you say?”
“What are you asking exactly?” I asked as I started stabbing at my plate with the crooked fork. “For me to be your girlfriend?” It sounded strange, even to me, like I was way beyond that point. I had a kid and a business and two ex-husbands who weren't worth their salt. “I don't know, Nathaniel,” I told him. “I like you, but I … I don't know if I can do the whole dating thing right now. You know what I mean?” He nodded, but he didn't say a word. Not one, single word.
CHAPTER 15
Nathaniel took me to an indoor/outdoor shooting range on the edge of town with a big black sign labeled simply, Tate's. The parking lot was nearly empty, not surprising considering it was Monday, but it didn't make me feel any less nervous.
“I've never even fired a gun before,” I told Nathaniel as he pulled into a front space and shut off the engine. He glanced over at me and smiled, one
hand on the keys in the ignition, the other on the wheel.
“A woman as intelligent as you should have no problem picking it up,” he said as his smile shifted from friendly to dirty. “You just hold it in your hands and squeeze.” Nathaniel winked at me and opened up his door, stepping out onto the pavement before I could respond. That nasty bastard, I thought as I followed him out, gun case in one hand, purse in the other. As my heels hit the pavement, I realized that I might be a tad overdressed. There was a woman getting out of a massive Ford pickup next to us, her brown hair tucked into a hat, a T-shirt and jeans on her lithe body. Meanwhile, there I was in a pale blue dress with polka dots and a pair of nude pumps on my feet. The woman smiled at me, but it wasn't nice. More like a You are so out of your element kind of a smile.
I watched as her eyes shifted up and over my shoulder, found Nathaniel and widened, just a bit.
“Are you okay?” he asked me as he came around the front of the car and paused on my left side.
“I look like a 50's housewife,” I whispered as I watched jeans-girl pull a long, black bag out of her truck. She was catching little glances over her shoulder, eyeing Nathaniel with an undisguised bit of interest. I forced myself to keep my hackles down and out for the count. Can't be jealous of someone that doesn't belong to you, Theresa.
I turned to Nathaniel and watched his gaze sweep me from head to toe and back again. He didn't look disappointed. In fact, when his eyes found my face again, they were sparkling.
“As long as you're not getting the urge to ask, How was your day, dear? then I think you're okay.” I smiled and lifted my gun case.
“Oh, hell no,” I told him. “More like, tell me how to load this fucking thing.”
“I'll show you everything,” Nathaniel told me as he held out his hand. “Don't worry about that.” I hesitated for just a moment, found jeans-girl's eyes watching us inquisitively, and took it.
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