by Tara Maya, Elle Casey, J L Bryan, Anthea Sharp, Jenna Elizabeth Johnson, Alexia Purdy (epub)
He moved a little closer to me than he normally did.
I forgot Becky was there entirely.
"I never took you for a tree hugger." He was still smiling, only now it was down at me; we were so close I was practically under him. I had never realized before that he was this much taller than me.
I could feel my face starting to burn. "You are going to set me on fire one of these days, you know that?" Holy shit, did that just come out of my mouth? What the hell was wrong with me? I looked back at the tree for a second. That damn thing had loosened my tongue or something. Shitshitshit.
Spike looked amused. "Is that so? I think I'd like to see that - so long as it isn't actual flames you're talking about."
I stepped back to get some breathing room, suddenly very nervous. "Um, yeah ... I mean, no ... not actual flames. Not a fire. Not ... shit, never mind. We need to get back." I stepped around him and walked briskly towards the camp. I didn't look back to see if he was following.
Becky, who had observed the whole embarrassing interaction, ran to catch up to me. She had a sly grin on her giddy little face. "What was that all about?"
I hit her arm with the back of my hand. "Nothing, shut up."
She chanted in a singsong voice, very quietly, "Somebody likes Spiiiiike, somebody likes Spiiiiike."
"Seriously, Becky, what? Are you in second grade? Shut up before someone hears you."
"Don't worry, Jayne, your secret is safe with me ... I mean, your secrets are safe with me." She smiled at me conspiratorially and winked.
I couldn't help but smile back. She was the first girl friend I'd had in a long time. Hopefully we wouldn't die in this forest before we could go shopping, talk about boys, or do whatever it is that girl friends do together.
Chapter Sixteen
By the time we reached the others, they were standing there with backpacks on, waiting impatiently for us to leave for the first waypoint.
"That has to be the longest pee break in history," said Finn, shaking his head as he walked towards Jared. "Women ... "
"Come on, everyone, let's get going," said Jared, going with Finn back towards the path leading out of the clearing. Chase followed them. Spike came from behind, jogging to catch up to the guys. Becky was just in front of Tony and me.
"Did you all come up with a plan of action?" I asked, coming up next to Tony.
"Yep. Jared thinks he knows where we are in relation to the first waypoint. He found a river last night, and it's not far from here. All we have to do is follow it and we'll come to the waypoint."
I walked and pulled my map out at the same time. "Did you look at the map yourself?"
Tony shrugged. "Nope, I just watched Jared do it."
"Were you looking over his shoulder?"
"No, should I have?"
I frowned at him, scolding him silently. "Yes. Don't you think we should know where we're going instead of just blindly following him?"
Tony sighed loudly. "Not really."
"Tony, are we still a team here or what?" It was time for him to stop messing around and man-up. I wasn't just going to start going somewhere in these spooky woods without knowing where.
"Yes, Jayne, we're still a team."
"Then help me figure this stupid map out while we walk."
I folded it down, with Tony's help, into a manageable size, but I gave up trying to figure out where we were within thirty seconds. Tony took over, since he was much better at directions than me. I watched as a frown spread across his face.
"What?" I asked.
"I don't know, it's just ... "
"Just what?"
"It's just ... well, it seems like Jared's not going in the most efficient direction."
"Not efficient? In what way?"
"Well, he's headed towards this water, see?"
He tried to show me, but I tripped over his big feet and almost went down. Walking and reading a map is just a recipe for disaster as far as I was concerned. "Don't show me, just tell me."
"Well, he's headed towards the water, but that's kind of a roundabout way of doing it. We could cut off over here to the right and save ourselves at least an hour - probably more."
"Let's do it, then."
Tony folded the map down smaller, intending to put it away. "No, that's okay. This way's fine, too."
I put my hand on Tony's shoulder stopping him. "Tony, just because Jared says it's the way to go, doesn't mean it is the way we're going to go. We need to get to those waypoints and get the hell outta here, know what I mean?"
Tony was quiet for a minute, thinking.
The others continued walking, oblivious to our conversation.
"Just tell me what your problem is with Jared, before I decide what to do."
"It's just a feeling I have, based on looks he exchanged with Dardennes. And his disappearing act last night, and his basic attitude. Don't you think it's a little suspicious that Jared's the one who somehow got all of us together? And then all of a sudden we're in this study together, and magically the few other people in that meeting room, the ones he didn't pick up somewhere, were not accepted? It just makes me uncomfortable, that's all. And I'd rather just depend on you and me to get out of here. There's no one I trust more to have my back than you, Tones."
He pursed his lips a few seconds before nodding and saying, "Jayne, I know you can be kinda crazy sometimes, but I also know you're pretty perceptive. You see and sense things that I don't. And there's no one I trust more to have my back than you, so if you want to split off from these guys, then I'll do it. I just keep thinking about that vampire thing from last night. We might have a better chance of surviving something like that if we're in a group."
"I thought about that, too; but I also know that as a big group, we'll attract more attention. It's impossible for seven people to move through the forest quietly. Maybe with it being just two or three of us, it wouldn't be so loud."
"Three?"
I shrugged. "I thought maybe Becky might go with us, I don't know."
"Fine, come on. Let's at least tell them we're going a different way. She can choose to come or not. Maybe Spike will want to come with us, too," Tony said that a little too casually.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, nothin'."
"Nothin', my ass. What was that supposed to mean?"
Tony smiled. "I see how you nearly pass out every time he smiles at you. You think I can't sense that heart attack you get every time he's around? And now that we're on the subject, what the heck happened with you and Becky in the woods? If I didn't know you any better I'd say you had some sort of bi-awakening moment out there. You were feeling just too ... I don't know ... dreamy or something."
I whacked him on the arm. "I didn't have a 'bi-awakening moment' at all, don't be an idiot. I just so happened to have discovered the joy of tree-hugging, and it made me happy. And Spike has ... well, let's just say he has a nice smile. It makes me feel tingly all over."
Tony rolled his eyes. "Spare me. And what do you mean 'tree hugging'?"
"I'll show you later. Let's go tell those guys we're going the other direction."
***
Not surprisingly, the group was less than thrilled about our decision to go a different way. Becky gave me a stern look, but kept my secrets. Chase just stared at us for a second and then looked back in the direction they had been heading before we stopped them. Spike just looked at the ground, not saying anything.
"Now why in the sam hill would you wanna split up like that?" asked Finn.
"The way we're going is shorter," I explained. "Anyone who wants to join us is welcome. Becky?"
She shook her head. "No thanks, guys. I appreciate the offer, but I'm gonna stick with Jared and them."
"Suit yourselves. Guess we'll see you at the finish line," I said, not surprised that Becky had turned us down. She was totally Team Jared.
Tony stayed silent; he didn't like conflict.
"Just be careful, guys," said Jared, seemingly
resigned to the fact that he was losing members of his crew.
"Yeah, Jayne, be careful," said Spike, for once not smiling.
"You too." Of all of them, he was the one I hated leaving behind the most. We parted ways, them continuing their roundabout towards the water, Tony and I angling off to the right, and all of us quickly losing sight of each other.
Tony took the lead, and neither of us said anything for a while. Now that we were alone, I was able to fully appreciate the immensity of the forest and it made me question the folly of my plan to be alone. It was probably too late, though, to admit I wished we had more people around us. Tony would kill me.
"It's kinda beautiful and spooky out here, all at the same time," said Tony softly.
I could see what he meant. The sunlight filtered through the treetops, narrow beams shooting like white lasers to the forest floor, lighting up dust motes that floated lazily, aimless in the air around us. The beating wings of a bird moving from tree to tree and the occasional falling leaf added to the whispering of the breeze that brushed past us on its way through to somewhere else.
The whispering sound got louder ... and louder still. I soon realized that it was actual whispering and not the metaphorical stuff I was hearing.
"Psst. Hello there! You there! Hello!"
"Tony ... did you hear that?"
"Wasn't that you?"
"No, it wasn't me, you dope. Where's it coming from?"
We stopped and listened intently. The forest was denser ahead. I moved closer to Tony as he stepped back, getting nearer to me. I slowly eased my backpack off my shoulder and unzipped it, pulling my sharpened stick from inside.
I whispered as softly as I could, my lips pressed against Tony's ear, "Get your fucking axe out and be ready to chop off some vampire heads."
Before Tony could move, we heard the voice again - this time not whispering, but talking softly.
"Hello! Hello ... you there."
It was coming from behind some bushes off to our right now. There, a fallen tree had created a fertile place for smaller trees and ivy to grow up over it, making a nice shelter for whoever or whatever was calling to us.
"Can you see who it is?" asked Tony out of the side of his mouth.
"No, can you?"
"No."
"Who are ye talkin' aboot?" said the voice, just at my elbow.
"HOLY SHIT ON A FUCKING STICK!" I yelled, jumping as far to my left as I could, brandishing my weapon out in front of me.
Tony yelped like a girl, simultaneously wrestling with his backpack, trying to get it open, and high-step running about five feet ahead, before spinning around to face whatever was there next to us.
I crouched down in a fighting stance, or the closest approximation of a fighting stance that I could come up with, ready to slay the vampire demon I imagined coming for us, its teeth dripping with blood - probably Becky's blood because she was the slowest, weakest one of the herd.
But boy was I surprised when it finally made its appearance.
"What the hell?" I stood up, my head tilting to the side in confusion.
Tony straightened up, looking at me and then back at our visitor - our two-foot-tall visitor with bubbly, lumpy-looking skin, wearing a plaid kilt-looking thing and brown moccasins.
"Who are you?" Tony asked.
"Who?"
"What do you mean, 'who'? You."
"Me?"
"Yes."
"Ye want to know who I be?"
I'd had enough of this Who's on First crap. "Listen, little troll ... who are you and what the hell are you doing scaring the shit out of us like that?"
"I beg yer pardon, human girl, but I'm not a troll and I doan appreciate the insult, I can tell ye that, oh righty. Ye know, in me day, we had respect. Simple respect. A body could walk through the forest, mindin' his own business, and if he happened to cross paths with someone, well, ye could be sure that the least they would do is say hello and exchange some pleasantries. But nooo ... "
And the creature carried on, and on, and on in its Scottish or Irish accent, I couldn't tell which, until I was ready to knock it over the head with my stick. I sidled over to Tony who was standing there, his backpack hanging forgotten by his side, staring at the creature with his mouth open. I nudged him just to be sure he wasn't in some sort of trance.
"What the heck is it?" he asked me, his eyes not leaving the spectacle before us.
The creature continued, oblivious to our conversation, "What's so hard about saying hello I'd like ta know? ... "
"Well, not a troll, apparently. Let's just walk away, real slow. I don't want to get it angry. But get your axe out just in case."
Tony looked down at his bag and reached in to get the axe, taking his eyes off the thing in front of us.
I saw the creature's eyes sparkle as the axe made its appearance from the bag. That seemed to finally get it to shut up for a second.
"Well, well, well ... what have we here? The axe of the Hawthorne if I not be mistaken ... " The lumpy dwarf moved toward us, eyes on the axe, hand reaching out as if to touch it.
"Not so fast, little non-troll," I said, holding my stick out at it, point forward.
The little thing stopped, eyes growing wide as it stared at my scary little stick.
"And the Dark of Blackthorn too. Oh me goodness, this is a verra interesting day in the Green Forest fer sure, a verra interesting day, indeed." Its eyes were glittering with excitement, and it hopped from one foot to the other like it had ants in its pants - except that it wasn't wearing pants.
Oh please, God, let that thing be wearing underwear under that kilt. I wasn't sure if the creature's enthusiasm was a very good thing, or a very, very bad thing, so I decided to err on the side of caution.
"Yes, it is! The ... um ... Dark pointy stick ... of Blackthorn, or whatever. And the axe of Hawthorne too! So stand back, trolly non-troll, or feel their sharp edges!" I brandished my stick a little to give my threat more oomph, nudging Tony with my elbow.
He held the axe up a little, but not very enthusiastically.
I was going to have to talk to him about that later. First impressions were everything, after all. Regardless, it seemed to do the trick.
The creature held up its hands in surrender. "Oh, goodness me, no, please ... I mean ye no harm - absolutely no harm atall, I can assure ye of that. Lucky for ye I've stumbled upon ye here, in the middle of nowhere, totally by happenstance. Yes, very lucky for ye, indeedy do!"
She, or he - I wasn't sure whether the thing was a male or female, even with the skirt, since it could possibly be a man-kilt - was all smiles now.
"Yer lost, I can see that. And I will help ye find yer way." It put its little lumpy hands together in front of its chest, as if in prayer. "So tell me, where would ye like to go?"
Tony and I stood together in silence for a moment, letting our brains process what we were seeing. Not a vampire, for sure. But not a dwarf or a midget either. Something smaller and lumpier. And not a troll. I didn't trust it, and I was sure Tony didn't either, even though we hadn't yet said a word to each other. Damn, how I wished that vibe reader thing Tony possessed was a two-way connection.
Tony was the first one to get a grip. "Let's start with you. Who and what are you?"
"Oh, human boy, I'm so verra sorry for not having introduced meself to ye earlier. How incredibly rude that were of me. And there I be, berating ye for yer lack of manners when I so clearly could use a few of me own. Ye know, that's the problem with the world today, so many fa ... people, just runnin' about their business, so self-centered, not worryin' about anyone but therselves. No time fer even the most basic pleasantries, the most basic manners, like a proper introduction ... "
My brain was spinning and I could feel a headache coming on. This was why I hated babysitting. This thing reminded me of a little kid - talking, talking, talking, blah, blah, blah ...
Tony cleared his throat loudly, interrupting the creature. "You were telling us your name and what you are ..
. ?"
"Ah, yes, sorry, got away from meself there. Me name, young boy, is Gilly, and I be a gnome of the Gar." It took a deep bow, lowering its head almost to the forest floor. It really didn't have that far to go, but it was still impressive.
I was glad we weren't behind the gnome at that moment because I was pretty sure its dress or kilt went right up in the back, revealing a lot more gnome than I was ready to see today. Or ever.
"Hi, Gilly," said Tony politely.
Sometimes that kid scared me with his innocence. "Gilly, why aren't you wearing a pointed red hat and red boots?" I asked.
Gilly frowned at me. "Ya know, stereotyping be a sign of limited intelligence. I might have asked ye where yer lower back tattoo be or yer lip piercing, but I didna." It folded its short little arms and cocked out one funky-shaped hip in a defiant stance.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. I decided after that move that Gilly must be a girl gnome. Only chicks and seriously bitchy gay guys had that particular brand of sass. Is there such a thing as a gay gnome? Hmmm ...
"Jaaayne. I know what you're thinking, but don't," said Tony.
"Fine," I said, frustrated that I couldn't mess with the gnome. I don't know a lot about these creatures, other than the fact that they are usually ceramic and hanging out in gardens, but I was pretty sure a gnome in a dress was hilarious in any social circle, human or otherwise.
I sighed. "Okay, Gilly the gnome, we are trying to reach a waypoint and you probably don't even know what that is, so I'm wasting my time here, but ... "
"Well, of course I be knowin' what a waypoint be. There be many of them here in the Green Forest. Four in fact." Gilly was looking at her fingernails, which I now noticed were disgustingly dirty. She started chewing on one of them, which was totally gag-worthy.
I was glad I'd only had a cracker for breakfast. Oh shit, do not think about how nails are like crackers, do not think about how nails are like crackers ... Now I was feeling sick to my stomach.
Tony nudged me, getting me back on track.
Holy bat balls, the little lumpy chick knows where to go! "Well, we'd like directions to the first waypoint," I said.