“Now how can that be, when you are the prettiest girl in Bellebrook?” Dad kissed the side of my head and hugged me.
“Daddy!” I playfully shoved him, but I felt better. I didn’t believe him, but I knew he thought so, and I loved him for it.
“It’s true, you are the most beautiful girl in that school, and you have your mom to thank for that.” My dad was such a softie.
“Yeah, well, he doesn’t think so.” I pouted.
“He must be an idiot.”
“I’m starting to believe he might be,” I agreed, but silently I admitted that I liked Jackson too much to truly think that.
My dad took my face into his hands, and his voice dropped to that serious tone he’d used earlier. “This is precisely why your mother and I don’t want you dating yet. Boys mess with your head. They’ll end up distracting you from the important things going on right now.”
“I know.” I dropped my face, hating the rule, hating that Jackson didn’t notice me.
“Give it some time. When you’re older, you’ll have plenty of time to date. And I promise you, you’ll meet a guy that will notice you for the amazing girl that you are. Any other guy isn’t worth your time.”
His words rang true and made me feel loved. I guess I needed to hang on for Jackson to see me for more than a silly little girl. I hoped that day would come.
“I love you, Dad.” I nestled into his warm embrace and enjoyed the feeling of love and safety he offered me. An errant tear still escaped, but the sense of peace and belonging I felt in my dad’s arms promised me that all would work out.
“I love you more than life itself, my Janey girl.”
Present Day
It’s Time – Imagine Dragons
JACKSON
I kissed Sarah’s cheek as I let myself in through the back door. “Hey, sis.”
“Eww!” Sarah rubbed her cheek before scolding me. “You’re all sweaty. That’s gross.”
“It’s what happens when you go running. You should try it sometime.”
“I know, but you don’t go around kissing people when you’re hot and sweaty.”
“You know it’s totally inappropriate to call your brother hot, however true that may be, right?”
“How old are you?”
I smirked without offering an answer.
“I swear, sometimes you still behave like a kid.” She continued to scold me like the real momma she’d become. I might be an adult, but seeing Sarah all worked up still put a smile on my face.
“It isn’t funny.”
“Ah, Sarah...” I enfolded her in a tight hug, earning me a swat on the back and another round of insults.
“Stop it, I’m serious. I have dinner plans. I spent thirty minutes doing my hair, and I don’t want it to smell like you. Quit it.” I noticed Sarah looked dressed up. Her dark hair was straightened, and she had more makeup on than she usually wore for work. Her tight jeans and silky blouse confirmed she was going out.
“Tom taking you out?”
“No, I’m meeting up with a friend.” This piqued my interest.
“Anyone I know?” I turned to fill a glass of water so she couldn’t see how badly I wanted to hear her answer.
“Yes.” The brat wasn’t going to make this easy for me.
“Okay.” I dragged each letter, waiting for her to jump in and satisfy my curiosity. She didn’t.
“Care to elaborate?” I added.
“Maybe. How bad do you want to know?” She knew exactly what she was doing to me, and she enjoyed every minute of it.
“Never mind.” I headed to the sink and dumped the rest of my water down the drain. Sarah could be such a pain.
“I’m going out with Jane tonight.” I knew it. No way would she be pulling my chain if it was anyone else.
“I ran into her earlier.” The statement popped out. Great. Now Sarah would want to talk about it. Women always wanted to talk about stuff.
“You seem to be making a habit of that.” There she went. That gleam in her eyes made another appearance.
I gave her a quick relay of what went down, my stomach churning again as I remembered Jane’s fragile state from earlier. Sarah’s playful mood disappeared instantly, her smile replaced by a concerned frown.
“It’s been two and a half years,” Sarah said. I knew. I came back for the funeral. I remembered seeing Jane—only a shell of the woman I’d known.
“I don’t really know how long it takes to heal from something like that.” My divorce from Ainsley was hard, but that left me angry and hurt. What she took from me, that kind of betrayal left wounds. Jane was broken.
“It’s not grieving at this point. I’ve been here, watching her, all this time. Sure, she misses him. But that isn’t the problem anymore.” Sarah had been Jane’s best friend for as long as I could remember. I was sure she was right. But Sarah could be intense sometimes.
“She’s too young to waste away,” Sarah added. “What happened broke her heart, but she can’t put her life on hold. It isn’t healthy to live in the past like that.”
“That might be true, but you can’t decide that for her.”
“True, but Jane needs a push in the right direction.” Sarah’s voice came out matter-of-factly.
Knowing my sister, that push might come much stronger and faster than Jane would want it to.
JANE
As I showered and got dressed, my thoughts drifted to Jackson. Since he’d moved back into town, he kept popping up and distracting me. Tonight was a welcome distraction. Usually after I broke down like that, I felt low for the rest of the day. After bumping into him on the street, he had me feeling all kinds of emotions. His touch, the gentle way he held me, it reminded me of my best friend from long ago. My best friend I secretly loved. I wasn’t expecting such a sharp reminder. It confused me. I should have been thinking of David, but the dull ache was missing. I wasn’t sure what to make of that.
At five past seven, I walked into Joe’s Bar and found Sarah already at our favorite booth, with a drink in hand, munching on tortilla chips. She looked great with her hair down and an evening look of makeup, a stark contrast to the business chic look she wore to school each day.
“You’re late,” she fired off before popping another chip in her mouth.
“I know. I lost track of time. I rushed like crazy to get here on time.” I conveniently left out running into Jackson.
“Anything interesting happen for you to lose track of time?”
“What do you mean?” I tried for ignorance before munching on a chip.
“Jackson came by and mentioned seeing you on his run.”
Of course he did!
I felt my neck heat up. How much did she know? Sarah could be pushy. I tried to avoid the subject by stuffing another chip in my mouth, but she guessed my move and swiped the basket away from me.
“Stop stalling.” She shoved another handful in her mouth, and in between chewing blurted out, “Spill.”
It seriously was a mystery how that woman could eat like she did and stay so thin.
“There’s nothing to spill. I went for a run so I could burn extra calories and not worry about what I would have for dinner tonight.” I stared at her and the basket she was holding. “We can’t all have an amazing metabolism like you,” I said in an attempt to distract her.
She wasn’t having it.
“You’re stalling again. And I’m hungry. You know how I get when I’m hungry. Give me all the juicy details, stat!” She indicated for me to speed it up as she waved a chip at me.
“Like I said, I was out for a run. Before I knew what was happening, someone touched me from behind and I screamed bloody murder for all of Long Alley to hear.”
“Now how do I know there isn’t something more to that story?” Her incessant munching slowed as she chewed on this piece of info.
“Seriously, Sarah, what more could there be?” I snapped. No way was I giving her more than this.
“You do remember this i
s Jackson? The guy you spent most of high school pining for, right?”
“Sarah, that was years ago. I married David, remember? That changed everything.” Speaking his name still made my stomach churn. I missed him more than I cared to admit.
“You don’t forget your first crush. And it has been years. You can’t keep putting your life on hold. David isn’t coming back.”
“Oh, my gosh, I’ve totally seen the light. What else you got?” I tried for sarcasm. It sometimes threw Sarah off.
“Hey, I’m serious. Don’t discard the idea yet, okay? I want to see you happy again.”
“I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. Right now I’m happy with the way things are, just Emma and me.” I reminded myself to keep my voice in check.
“You know what I mean, Jane. There’s more to life than just surviving.”
She finally loosened her grip on the chips, and I grabbed a handful and shoved as many as I could into my mouth. Saved me from replying.
“Okay, enough with the heavy. What do you feel like eating?” Sarah perused the menu, and I knew we were done with the serious conversation for the night. “Don’t look now, but Graham is on his way here.”
Her words had the opposite effect. I looked over my shoulder and saw Graham saunter over, in the direction of our table.
“Sarah,” I hissed.
“I told you not to look.” She had her nose stuck in the appetizer section of the menu she held, not at all fazed by my discomfort.
“Hey, ladies.” Graham leaned down to greet us.
“Hi.” I felt my cheeks heat up as he looked down at me.
“What brings you here tonight?” Sarah finally looked up. I kicked her under the table, warning her not to do something stupid. She didn’t flinch.
“My brother is visiting from out of town for the End of Summer Festival this weekend.” He pointed him out, and my gaze followed to see who he indicated to. “Had to bring him to the place that serves the best burgers in town.”
“Of course.” Sarah was all smiles. I swore I heard the wheels in her head turn.
“Why don’t you call him over. Introduce him to us?” Sarah had her sights set on Graham’s brother. I could see her form a plan.
Dear Lord, save me now.
“Hey, I’m Mason.” A tall, younger version of Graham walked up to the table. He had the same blond hair, slightly longer than his brother’s. Graham’s looked disheveled. Mason’s looked like he either was in desperate need of a cut, or was ready to start pulling it back in a ponytail. He had a five-o’clock shadow, which totally worked for him.
“I’m Jane.” I shook the hand he held out to me.
“Sarah.” She scrutinized him. He returned the stare, throwing her off. Instead of him checking me out, like she expected him to do, his hand held hers longer and his lips curved up in a smile.
It had been a while since I’d seen Sarah flustered. I liked it.
“Why don’t you join us?” I couldn’t help it. It was entertaining seeing Sarah scrambling to rebuff Mason’s interest.
“No.” Graham spoke up before Mason could. “We wouldn’t want to interrupt your dinner.”
I felt like pushing the matter, just to give Sarah a taste of her own medicine. Inviting them to join us would mean having dinner with Graham. Something I wasn’t ready for.
“Thanks for the invite, though.” Graham looked to me and smiled. Crap, that wasn’t what I meant.
“See you in school tomorrow. Jane, boss.” Graham shoved his brother toward their table on the other side of the bar. I heard Mason mumble and Graham add a “Yes, she’s my boss and she’s married. What were you thinking?”
I grinned, enjoying the moment.
“Entertaining enough for you?”
I nodded, afraid I’d laugh out loud.
“Good.” She picked up her menu and continued her perusal.
The remainder of our night was spent eating, drinking, laughing, and not talking about anything remotely to do with my love life, or lack thereof. After my near breakdown today, I appreciated, even welcomed, all of her efforts to make me laugh and forget my worries for one night.
Late at night, I had trouble falling asleep as Sarah’s words invaded my thoughts. She had a point. It had been long and lonely years. But was I really ready to leave that part of me behind? Was I ready to open up to someone new? And what was it about Jackson that awoke all those feelings I’d forgotten?
Fifteen Years Earlier
Could this be love? - The Wanted
JACKSON
I’d been in the library for the last two hours, trying to write this stupid essay on Jane Eyre. I was supposed to highlight the main character’s moral struggle to stay true to herself, regardless of her harsh circumstances.
Sadly, I hadn’t made a whole lot of progress. Literature wasn’t really my thing, definitely not the old English chick kind. I was more of a numbers and equations kind of a guy. I wasn’t too psyched about this assignment.
I slammed another book on the meaning of Jane Eyre closed and huffed a huge sigh as I tugged on the ends of my hair. As I lowered my head, I heard giggling in the distance and peeked up to check out what was so funny.
Clearly, I was the center of attention, because as I looked to the group of girls laughing and whispering, they noticed me stare and laughed even louder and turned away. I recognized these girls as friends of Sarah’s, but I didn’t know their names.
I looked closer, as they were more focused on whispering amongst themselves then staring at me. And that was when I noticed Jane. This made me sit up taller and run my fingers through my hair. It was probably a mess after tugging at it endlessly in frustration. Since Jane showed up at my house after her failed study date, I tried to get closer to her many times without making it seem too obvious, but somehow something always seemed to get in the way. If it wasn’t Sarah walking in at the wrong moment, it was a basketball slamming into my head, or my own doubts reminding me of all of the reasons why I shouldn’t take a shot at dating her. But there was something about Jane.
More giggling erupted, and soon the group left the library. At least that was what it looked like, but then I noticed Jane return. She disappeared behind one of the shelves, and soon reappeared with a book that looked nothing like light reading.
“Hey,” she greeted.
“Hey,” I returned. She peeked at the title on the book lying in front of me and grinned.
“I never took you for a fan of the Brontë sisters.” Her smile lit up her whole face, and my palms became sweaty.
“Yeah.” I swallowed. “I have a paper due tomorrow on Jane Eyre, and I think my mind isn’t wired right to understand all of these thoughts and feelings.”
Jane glared at me, trying to decide what to make of my predicament. After a moment, she took the seat opposite me and placed my notebook in between us so she could look at the page I’d been staring at for the last half hour.
“What are you supposed to write about?” Her brow scrunched up in concentration, distracting me for a minute. She looked so hot when she focused. When she glanced up, my mind kicked in again.
“I need to discuss the moral struggle Jane faces throughout the book.” I stared at my notes to remember all of what I was working on before she showed up and distracted me. “How she deals with that despite her hard struggles and how this compares to us now. What lessons can we learn from Jane’s growth throughout the book, and all that kind of stuff.”
“What have you got so far?”
I turned the page to show her my rough copy that was blank except for the title scribbled on it, not even very neatly written. I reluctantly waited for her to judge me. She surprised me with her next comment.
“I guess we have a lot of work to do.”
“We?” I questioned.
“We,” she agreed. “Jackson.” She paused a moment. Her beautiful green stare made me gulp. I coughed to hide the effect she had on me. “Look how far you’ve come on you
r own in all of this time.” She fought a smile on those luscious lips, and my mouth went dry. “I think it’s time I helped you out. Unless you want to keep going at this pace?”
“No, I don’t. But,” I stumbled over my words, “are you sure? No other plans?”
“I’m sure. I was going to spend some time here anyway.” She indicated the huge book in front of her. “Catch up on my reading. No problem.”
JANE
“Okay, where do we start?” Jackson asked.
“You read the book, right? Please don’t tell me you haven’t read the book.” I fought a smile. He looked so tempting when he was flustered. English wasn’t his thing.
“That I have.” He returned my smile, and my face heated up. How was it this guy could have me feeling so cold one moment after brushing me off and then all hot and hyperaware of him when he awarded me with one of his killer smiles the next moment?
“Good. I don’t know what we could have come up with if you hadn’t.” Best to address the task, and not my fluttering stomach. “Let’s start by making a list of all of Jane’s struggles throughout the book. Here.” I took Jackson’s notebook and divided it into three columns. In the first I scribbled PHYSICAL STRUGGLES in big, bold capitals. In the second column, I wrote down MORAL STRUGGLES, also in capitals, and in the third column I put PRESENT COMPARISON.
“This should help to make an overview of what we can write about.” I handed the notebook back. When my fingers brushed his, my skin tingled, making me even more aware of how close he was sitting to me.
“Okay. I think I can do that.”
“Good.” I leaned back, forcing some distance between us. I needed air to focus on the task at hand. I waited a minute for Jackson to start, but he didn’t pick up his pencil. “You do know you need to fill that in, in order to get started on this paper, right?”
My comment triggered Jackson into action. He hunched over his page, his hand moving back and forth as he wrote the struggles in the columns. I sat there and waited. His tongue peeking out between his lips betrayed the effort he was putting into this. The look was hot and adorable. He gazed up and totally caught me staring. My cheeks burned even hotter when he winked at me. Help me, Lord, the butterflies were going bat crazy in my tummy.
The Songs of You and Me Page 5