Archer explained, calm and casual while she was beginning to worry. “If Hexam gets ahold of all of us and pins us into corners, and he ain’t feeling reasonable, you’ll have to go with whichever option you think will piss him off less. He’ll be pissed about Tag and Farrah, I can’t see him accepting that. But if it turns out one of the guys from Sizzle that night is close to Hexam and still on the payroll, maybe been with him for a long time… If we hurt that guy, Hexam won’t be happy with that either.”
“Do you like bumming me out?”
How he could be unfazed by the idea she’d betray him was puzzling. “You can’t support both of us because you’ll never walk out of there alive if you try. You could be seen as the instigator since you’re bang in the middle of this. So, you can either support their love or stand up for what we’re doing.”
“My choice is support their love or support my vengeance?” she asked, but that wasn’t the most confusing part of what he’d presented to her. “This isn’t you; none of this is you, why would I sell you out?”
“Because the alternative is turning your back on Tag,” Archer said and sealed his lips for a minute. “And I just don’t see that happening, Squirm, do you?”
Sinking back onto her own side of the bed, she retreated from his body to reflect. She’d never betrayed Tag in the past, but he was making an insane decision that she didn’t want to be punished for, and she didn’t want Archer punished for it either.
They could let Tulio go, forget this had ever happened and move on with their lives, but what did it say about her if she was willing to give up her own objectives to support Tag in something she didn’t agree with?
He must have sensed her internal conflict. “I can try a preemptive strike,” Archer said.
Hope made her shift onto her side. “Ok, I’m open to that,” she said, squeezing her hands beneath her hips. She knew what a preemptive strike was, but didn’t know how it would apply in this situation.
“I’ll talk to him,” Archer said, raising his arms to link his hands behind his head. “I’ll get hold of Hexam, tell him what we’re doing, tell him what we know about Tag—”
“No,” she exclaimed. “We can’t drop Tag in the shit like that.”
“See,” he said, shaking his head. “You had no problem when I started the sentence with, ‘I’ll tell Hexam what we’re doing,’ but the minute I mention your boy—”
“He’s not my…” She didn’t even finish the sentence, she sat up, crossed her legs, and let her face sink into her palms. This was exhausting, frustrating, and so disheartening.
After a few seconds of nothing, he began to stroke her lower back. “It’s ok,” he said. “I don’t like it. I don’t like that you care about another guy this much. But it’s not like I didn’t know it walking into this. You chose to be chained to my wall rather than give me his address. I mean that’s loyalty on a whole new level. Part of the thing I love about you is that you’re that fucking stubborn.”
“I’m pissed off,” she mumbled into her own hands. “At myself. He’s a grown man. He makes his own decisions. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t feel like this.”
“He’s been conditioning you for fifteen years to feel like this,” Archer said. “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
“He hasn’t conditioned me.”
Archer almost scoffed. “Have you ever heard anything close to negative about that man without jumping on it as if your mother was just insulted?”
“I never knew my mother,” she said.
He prodded her hip. “You have to break the cycle,” he said. “It might not be deliberate, but your gratitude for what he did never went away. You’re so grateful to him that you would feel guilty about not supporting him a thousand percent, like he did for you that night.”
He was probably right, she couldn’t picture not jumping to Tag’s defense because that’s what he’d done for her and she’d never been able to repay him—not to the same degree.
“He takes you for granted, but you have to make it clear to him that you can’t pick up after him, not when it’s gonna cause you physical harm. If losing Jamie, staying here, taught you anything, it’s that as he’s moving into the bigger leagues, his life is becoming more dangerous. You can’t let him take you along for the ride, because you’re not equipped to handle it.”
Not physically. Her body was weak in comparison to those who were likely to threaten her. “I used to have nightmares,” she said, finding it easier to look at the closet opposite the end of the bed than to look at him. “I used to have nightmares about what would’ve happened if Tag hadn’t come to me that night. I think a part of me has been afraid that the nightmare would come true if I didn’t have him. You think I’m insane because I run around after him, look out for him and protect him with my life.” Twisting, she looked at him through the burgeoning morning light. “But I’ve always been so scared that I’d need someone to swoop in and save me… and he was all I had.”
“And if you pissed him off, he wouldn’t be here,” Archer said. “You would be on your own.”
She nodded and he sat up. “Pathetic, isn’t it?”
“It’s not pathetic,” he replied, driving a hand into her hair to gather a handful of it at the back of her head. “You needed someone and he’d proved himself. It’s natural that you’d rely on him when you don’t have family who would put themselves on the line for you.”
“I think we’ve taken each other for granted because he didn’t even try to apologize when he knew I wasn’t happy. Getting into the big leagues has changed him; he’s cocky now, more assured. He doesn’t need me. I think he likes it when I need him.”
“A lot of guys are like that,” Archer said.
“But now, after Sizzle, and Jamie losing her life… I think I’ve questioned how far I can go to protect him. I can’t fight, I don’t have the skills or the strength. But…”
Trying to avert her gaze compelled Archer to pull her closer and to catch her chin in his free hand. “But what?”
She knew her eyes would be wide and glazed, because admitting the truth broke her heart. “Sometimes I feel so guilty,” she whispered. “How can I question him? How can I think about disagreeing with him or betraying him, when he almost killed his own brother for me? He destroyed his fraternal relationship… for me.”
Nya knew how Archer felt about emotional women, about crying women, she kept her eyes wide, so as not to blink out any of the tears gathering on her lower lids. “You have got to let go,” he said, tightening his grip to shake her head an inch. “His brother would never have been there, in that state, if it wasn’t for what went on in the garage. Tag could’ve kept the guy on a shorter leash. He should never have been allowed anywhere near you. What happened that night wasn’t your fault.”
“But, I—”
“No,” he said, angry in his delivery. “It wasn’t your fucking fault, Ny, and I won’t hear it. You don’t owe the guy anything. You have to live your life.”
But there was another consideration, one that could cause problems not Hexam related, but related to their relationship. “He’s going to think it’s because of you. He’ll blame you.”
“Let him,” Archer said. “Let him come at me, Squirm, please, I can handle it.”
“But could I?” she asked. “If you two hurt each other because of me…”
“You don’t think we’ve been close to it? We’ve been a hair away from taking each other apart, and how we feel about you is the only thing that’s stopped us from doing it. I don’t care. I’m not asking you to shut him out. I’m not telling you that we have a problem. All I want for you to do is to look out for you. Follow your own gut; promise me you’ll do that? Instead of sacrificing yourself to protect his ass.”
As sure as he was, her fear still existed. “And one day,” she said. “What if the nightmare comes true?”
Releasing her, he opened both hands and shoved her hair away from her face to take it in his firm grip. “That nigh
tmare will never come true,” he said. “I never take my eyes off your ass for long enough for anyone to have the chance to threaten it. You’ve got to trust me, Ny. You have to trust me.”
And she did. But she didn’t want it to be like she hung onto Tag until a better bet came along even though she did trust Archer with her life. He’d protected her before, at risk to himself, and he would do it again.
It was odd how talking to him, being honest with him, confessing to him, a man who was a vault of secrets, made her feel better, despite the fact that nothing had been resolved. Tag was still in a relationship that could cause him physical harm. They still had Tulio tied up in a basement and Hexam was the man holding the proverbial gun.
For now he didn’t know who to aim it at because all of this was going on behind his back, but Archer had once told her that the truth always came out, so by his reckoning, his rules, it was only a matter of time before the current truths were exposed in the light of a public arena.
eight
“You have to end it,” Nya said into the phone she’d dialed after jumping out of the cab that dropped her off at Sizzle.
Her day had gotten away from her. Because she was running behind, a call was taking the place of a conversation that should’ve happened face-to-face. Though there was some part of Nya’s subconscious that understood it was harder for Tag to give her the brush off when they were on the phone. In person, there were too many distractions he could use to avoid answering her.
“Excuse me?” Tag asked. “I thought you were coming over here for lunch, where are you?”
“Something came up,” she said, something like a guy tied to a pipe awaiting his demise. Tulio was creating a dilemma in her life that she’d never thought she’d face. Having Archer around made it easier to cope with because the pressure was off her to take care of business, but the final decision on what would happen to their prisoner was on her shoulders. “I have to run errands. There’s a couple of things I have to do at Sizzle then I’m running home to pay my rent—”
“So you thought you’d squeeze me in? You know how I feel about being cancelled on.”
Yes, she did, he hated it. Tag wasn’t understanding about unexpected events in her life. She couldn’t tell him about Tulio because he’d warned her against going after the men who’d attacked Sizzle. So for now, she’d have to be vague.
Heading for the doorway of the club, she dug in her bag for her keys. “I know you hate being canceled on. I do. I’m sorry. I got caught up at Archer’s this morning.”
“So much for him not coming between us,” he grumbled.
That wasn’t a good reaction, Tag really didn’t like her boyfriend and time wasn’t building any bridges. “He’s not! I swear it to you…” Pausing in the entryway to Sizzle, she brought a hand to her hip as she tried to think about how to appease her friend. “Truth is, we didn’t get much sleep. So I spent the morning in bed.”
“With him?”
Ok, she’d just given Tag a visual that wouldn’t help. She sucked at this mediator thing. “Yes, with him… sleeping.”
“No sex?”
She couldn’t claim that exactly. They had been sleeping, that wasn’t a lie, but when they woke up, some kissing became rubbing, so although it hadn’t been their intention, there may have been some incidental penetration. “Does that matter?” she asked. “I’m sorry that I have to cancel, but we do have to talk, we can’t ignore this.”
His mood was still sour. “I don’t get why it’s your business who I’m dating.”
Carrying on into the club, she looped her keys around her thumb and rested her fist on her open purse. “It’s my business because your girlfriend’s brother might cut off your balls when he finds out what’s going on. And because my boyfriend set it up for you to tempt this girl ‘cause it was what Hexam wanted. You were supposed to tempt her, Tag, not screw her. You have to end this.”
“I’ll end my relationship when you end yours.”
Stopping dead, it hadn’t occurred to her that he would make a counteroffer and she couldn’t tell if he was being serious or snide. “What has my relationship with Archer got to do with your relationship with Farrah?” Nya asked, frozen on the spot, halfway between the door and the bar.
Having Tulio as their prisoner created a sense of urgency in her life, she was responsible for the life of another and she had no idea how long he could hang on without them going back to him. Nya wanted to see how he was and to check that he hadn’t escaped. Archer didn’t seem as concerned, but he had lots of experience in this arena.
He’d even told her that she could go for lunch with Tag, that it wouldn’t cause a problem, that an extra hour wouldn’t make any difference, but she’d elected instead to come to Sizzle to do what was needed after calling one of her assistants to advise that she wouldn’t be there that night. It didn’t matter that she was supposed to work tonight, Tulio was going to take priority. This was the first time she’d done this abducting and torturing thing and she needed to focus on practicing. This situation would only get harder. Archer must have known that because he’d chosen to hit the easiest mark first.
“I’m proving a point,” Tag said. “I have as much right to say that to you as you do to me.”
Irritation brought her fingers to her forehead. “You have been telling me to dump him since you found out we were together. You’re looking for any excuse to get—”
“See how annoyed you are? That’s how I feel.”
“Don’t compare the relationships,” she said, scowling at no one. “What Archer and I have is nothing like what you have with Farrah.”
“How would you know?” Tag asked.
This wasn’t going well, Tag had been pissed at the start of the call and now her mood matched his. “Well for one thing, you’ve been seeing her for two weeks; you can get rid of her.”
“How long had you been seeing Archer when I found out about the two of you? Days?” he asked. “Were you even together then or was it just sex? It didn’t make any difference to you when I told you to dump him. You wouldn’t do it.”
Granted, she probably hadn’t been crazy in love with Archer when Tag discovered the relationship, but they had a connection, something that started before Tag found out, something that started during her captivity, something that combusted in that parking lot.
But that wasn’t even the point and she was sick of dancing around the truth. “You wanted me to dump Archer because you don’t like him,” she said. “There’s a huge difference between that and what I’m asking.”
“Tell me,” he said, smug and condescending at the same time. The latter had little effect on her now that she was dating the world’s greatest aficionado in that trait.
She spelled it out. “I’m telling you to dump her for your own good.”
Her friend didn’t budge. “You’re worried about your boyfriend, you just said it yourself.”
“Yeah, I’m worried about him, but I’m worried about you too. Unless you really love her and plan to be with her forever, there’s no point in carrying on with this. And if you do love her, you’re going to have to face her brother. Tell me, are you willing to do that?”
Her question only riled him more. “This is none of your business,” Tag snapped. “You just can’t keep your nose out. It’s typical.”
Tag didn’t mind her being nosey when she was looking out for his interests. In the past, when she displayed concern, he’d never gotten angry. Sure, there were times he’d pat her on the head and dismiss her worries. But he’d never gotten irrational and irritated like this.
“Fine,” she said. “You tell me that you’re in love with Farrah and I will support you every step of the way, I’ll even drag Archer along. He won’t like it, but I’ll find a way to convince him to stick with us.”
“Us?” Tag spat. “I don’t give a fuck about Archer. He can go screw himself for all I care.”
“Great,” she said, once again resenting the male ego. “Yeah, I’l
l tell him that. I’ll tell him he can go screw himself. Do you even care that by saying things like that, it puts me right in the middle of this juvenile feud between the two of you. Archer is at least willing to make the effort.”
“Oh, yes, he’s fantastic. I’m sure he’s real agreeable while he’s got his dick up your ass.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Tag, what is wrong with you?” she gasped.
“Maybe I’m sick of hearing it,” he said. “Maybe I’m sick of hearing you say that I’m never good enough, that every decision I make is somehow a basis for you to judge me.”
She’d never entertained the concept that he might feel this way. Yes, they commented on each other’s lives, but if she had to tally up the instances through the years, she would probably guess that he’d cast more aspersions on her than she had on him.
Like finding herself at Sizzle, she liked the responsibility of it and it was great to have a regular paycheck. But Tag had been the one to storm into her former place of employment to put a stop to her working there without asking her opinion. Maybe stripping was a life choice, maybe it was a dream, maybe it was something she’d always wanted to do. Ok, it wasn’t, but it wasn’t like she hated it. The money was good and she needed the steady income.
“Fine then,” she said. “You want me to butt out, I will. But don’t expect Archer to bail you out again. Don’t come to us when Hexam puts your balls in a vice.”
“I won’t,” Tag snapped. “You live your life, Yorkie, and I’ll live mine.”
“Fine by me,” she retorted.
“Good.”
She didn’t know which one of them hung up first, or if they did it simultaneously, but she didn’t wait to hear another word. She took the phone from her ear, pressed disconnect, and stuffed it into her bag.
Balling her fists at her sides, she growled and contemplated calling Archer. Except he was sick of hearing Tag’s name on her lips and as she’d said to Tag, there was no great love between the men, so she didn’t need to give extra ammunition to their dislike.
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