Taking a big breath, she explained. “I used to have a hammer,” she said. “I kept it next to my bed for about nine months after Damien and I broke up. I got rid of it as a kind of exorcism when I stopped waking up in fear of him every day.” Nya yawned and sank down onto her back. “I never replaced it.”
“If you need fucking tools, come see me.”
She grinned although her eyes had closed. “You accuse me of making excuses to come and see you like I’m some kind of lovesick stalker. If I start showing up every time I need a screwdriver—”
“You don’t have a screwdriver either? Fuck, Ny, you’re not prepared for the world.”
She laughed. “I don’t know what happened to any of the tools I used to have. I guess when I stopped worrying about repairs in my last shithole apartment, it didn’t really matter where they went. They’re probably kicking around somewhere. It’s funny, I was just thinking tonight that I couldn’t ask you for another favor ‘cause I’d probably filled my quota, now you’re saying I can come borrow things…” Peeking at him, she played. “How much will it cost me to lease your tool for an hour?”
He was wise to her innuendo. “That one you can’t borrow,” he said.
“Even when you’re not using it?”
“As soon as you show up, I’ll be using it. My dick’s always occupied when you’re around.”
That was a compliment, but this banter was reminding her of what she didn’t have. “It doesn’t matter.” She stretched. “I don’t have anything else to pay you with. I’ll have to start saving up the green to pay for my Archer favors.”
“Or you could raid Tag’s safe.”
That was funny. “Are you kidding? His girlfriend likes diamonds; I think he’s flat broke.”
“You’ve got plenty to barter with,” he said, then his voice softened a fraction. “And you don’t have a quota, Ny. My door is always open for you.”
“Except when it’s not,” she said, thinking of all the times he hadn’t let her into his place.
Even though he was standing up, just having him in the room made it easier for her to relax. “You didn’t move the bed back,” Archer said and she opened her eyes enough to see him scrutinizing the room.
“No, I didn’t. Like you said, I like being under you.” He stopped scrutinizing the environment to turn his attention to the girl on the bed in her underwear. But he was doing the strong, silent thing and refused to respond to her flirting. “You never told me why you needed the weapons,” she said.
Going back to his search, he adopted his cold demeanor again. He bowed over the bag and it only took him a second to find the knife. When he pulled it out of its sheath, she turned her head away.
“Is this it?” he asked and she nodded.
She heard him scoop everything back into the bag, and he dumped it in the closet where it had been and slid the door shut. “I guess now you’ll slip out and leave me, talk about déjà vu,” she said, muttering the last part.
“You didn’t kill him, Ny.”
She sat up. “What?”
“All four bodies were found. Hexam set it up to look like some sort of drug-fueled, God-knows-what gone wrong. He used them as a warning to those in the know; he likes to put victims in humiliating setups. It doesn’t matter. The point is, all four died from gunshot wounds to the head.”
What was he saying? She didn’t understand, couldn’t follow. “But I… I stabbed him.”
“Yeah,” he said, pressing his fingers into his chest. “In a completely non-vital area. The guy would’ve survived. Well, I guess he would’ve bled out eventually if Hexam had left him lying there for a few days. I read the ME report, Hex doesn’t know I did, he wouldn’t bank on me doing that. But the wound was more likely to kill him through infection than blood loss. How much blood did you get on your clothes?”
She couldn’t remember, but she’d fallen asleep on her apartment floor and it hadn’t been stained in the morning. “Not much.”
“There you go. Hex wants you to think that you killed him because then he owns you and he owns me. But you didn’t. Hex, or one of his boys, shot that guy after you left. You didn’t kill him.”
Nya didn’t know how to feel about that, she wanted the bastard dead and he was. But Hexam had lied to her and made her believe she’d done something that she hadn’t. She no longer held the title of murderer.
While it was her urge to leap up and mount the man who’d given her the news. She restrained herself to ask, “Why?”
“Because Hexam thinks you’ll be useful and he knows I have contacts that—”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Why did you tell me that? Why do you even care? Why do you want the weapons?”
“Because it’s a rookie mistake to keep murder weapons where you sleep.”
Nya was exhausted, so it could be lethargy which made it difficult to catch up with him. “But you just said they’re not murder weapons.”
“Oh, baby, you bet your sugar-sweet ass that these weapons have been used to kill, just not by you. I’ll get rid of them. You’ll never know where. No one will ever know where.”
It was incredible. “You’re protecting me,” she said. “That’s why you were so excited when you found out I stabbed him because you already knew that they’d been shot—you’d already investigated. But why would you do that if you don’t love me? You wouldn’t even let me in your apartment. You were so cold. You wouldn’t look at me. You didn’t want to talk to me. I thought I disgusted you… So, why…? Why would you bother with the M.E. report and your own investigation if you don’t love me?”
Tossing the knife onto the ottoman at the end of the bed, he swore at her. “Who the fuck ever said that, Nya?”
Blinking, the shock winded her. “But you told me we were over. You wouldn’t talk to me or let me into your place. You told me you were fucking Ella.”
“I didn’t tell you that. I let you believe that for five minutes. I told you in the hallway that I wasn’t. I didn’t have to. I thought if I was a cold, cruel bastard that you’d stop coming by, but you didn’t. I can’t get fucking rid of you.”
Emotion made her argue. “You’re the one who moved me in to your building, buster. It’s not my fault if you regret it.”
“I don’t,” he said, finally relenting a laugh. “The sad fucking part is, every night I lie upstairs so fucking grateful that I did it while I was gone. I’d thought about waiting ‘til I got back, but if I had you’d still be in your old place way across town.”
What the hell was he saying? “I’m confused. You want me here. But you don’t want me. You love me. But you won’t be with me. Now who’s messed up?”
“I’ve always been messed up about you.”
But he couldn’t stay away forever, and that had to be why he was here in her bedroom protecting her. So Nya did the job she’d wanted to do in the living room. Unhooking her bra, she slid it from her arms. “Let’s finish what we started,” she said, because it had been in this bed he’d told her they were through and walked away from her. “Come back to bed, Arch. We can pretend these last few weeks never happened.”
He came to sit on the edge of the bed and she shuffled forward on her knees thinking this was the moment when everything would fall back into place. But he didn’t kiss her or lie down with her, he cupped a breast and rubbed his thumb over the apex as he gave her a squeeze.
“Resisting this every night, knowing you’re here and willing… it’s been tough, Ny.”
“You don’t have to resist,” she said, stroking his face. “I’m here and I’m yours and that never changed.”
“That’s what makes it so difficult to say no to you. And not being honest with you… fuck, I… I can lie to anyone; I’ve never had a problem doing it.” He’d told her that much before. He’d learned how to con people from a young age. “But with you… God, you make it so tough. Sometimes I need you so bad. I don’t know how long I can keep saying no to you.”
Nya bowed f
orward to touch his mouth with hers. “Then don’t. Don’t say no, Arch. Stay with me.”
But he wasn’t giving in. “I can’t reward bad behavior.”
Matching his determination, she didn’t want to spook him. “Then punish me.” She brushed her mouth on his, trying to tempt his lips to open. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. If you want to chain me to your bathroom or your bed, do it. Strip me naked and flog me, Fella, I don’t care.”
“I don’t want you to be in pain,” Archer said, shifting so he could hold her face. “But I get it now. The guilt that you live with. I’d never lived with that before. I get it now.”
“Is that why you took my place with Hexam?”
“I took your place with him because I love you.”
Those words, he said them so easily, he couldn’t know what they meant to her. “I told you to walk away from him. Was it guilt that made you stay?”
“Hexam let you go, but it could’ve gone the other way, Squirm. He could’ve hurt you and I wouldn’t have known it until it was too late and now that I know the only reason you were in that room was to protect me… I can’t let that happen again. I can’t let anyone use me against you. I don’t know how to process guilt. Why is it I can rip a guy’s fingernails out with plyers, listen to him scream, and then go out for burgers without giving it a second thought, but the idea of you being in pain because of me… I can’t handle that?”
She understood because she’d lived with guilt too. But there was one thing he hadn’t considered. “We’re not together now, right?” she asked. “We haven’t been for weeks. More than three.”
“Yeah.”
“If Hexam walked through that door right now with twenty of his men, put a gun to your head, and told me the only way he’d let you live is if I sucked and fucked every one of them, do you know what I would do?”
Archer sneered and recoiled, filled with disgust. “I don’t want to know. I don’t want to think like that.”
Nya caught his face to stop him from getting too far away. “I love you and I’m always going to try to protect you. I could lie to you and tell you I’d never do it again. I could beg you to take me back on the promise I would always put myself before you. But I can’t lie to you, Archer. I can’t make you that promise.”
“That’s what churns me up, babe.”
She sank back to sit on her feet, moving away from his caress as she faced the truth. “I’ve done nothing but hurt you since the day we met when you had to take me from Jonno. I caused a problem in that relationship and I’ve done nothing but cause problems for you since. That’s why I needed to know if you loved me. Because if you can walk away, then you should. I’ll pack my shit and find a new apartment. I’ll leave Sizzle. I’ll leave the city. I’ll do whatever you need to get a clean break.”
Getting stern, he gave orders. “I don’t want you going anywhere. I look out for you. Without me around…”
If he hadn’t been around, she would never have learned that Hexam had fooled her into believing that she’d committed murder. She wouldn’t have had anyone jumping in to save her from the chancers in Sizzle that night.
He stood up. “I’m gonna make Hex pay for what he did to you.”
“I told you not to start another war,” she said. “As long as you walk away from him clean, I don’t care what he does to me.”
Her phone rang in the other room and it was so late, she figured there had to be a problem. Leaping up, she ran past him to get to her purse, which was still lying beside the front door next to her shoes.
Pulling out the handset, she pressed receive. “Tag?” she asked because he never called at this time in the morning, not since he started his relationship with Farrah.
“She dumped me,” he said. “It’s over.”
Nya couldn’t believe it. She spun around to pin her surprise on Archer and found him turning her dirty clothes inside out, ready for the washer, which was in the kitchen closet by the fridge. “What happened?” Nya asked Tag.
“I don’t know. She just told me it wasn’t working out.”
Having just gone through her own breakup, she knew how much pain he would be in. “But you guys were in love… right?”
His voice was weak, but angry and confused. “I just need you to come over. Gio’s fucked off. I don’t know where that fucker’s at. I haven’t seen him for weeks and can’t find him. I’m here by myself.”
“Ok,” she said. “Give me a minute, I’ll need to get changed.”
“Ok, just be as quick as you can,” he said and hung up the phone.
In the kitchen now, Archer would’ve heard her side of the call. “What’s wrong with your boy?” Archer asked, cleaning up the dishes she hadn’t done earlier.
“Farrah dumped him.” Archer stopped what he was doing, it seemed that his shock was as visceral as hers. “She said it wasn’t working out.”
“That’s it? That’s all she said?”
She shrugged because she didn’t have all the info for him yet. God, she was so tired, she just wanted to fall into her bed. For weeks she’d been busy trying to find ways to distract herself and come up short. Now she was just beginning to get Archer’s attention again and Tag needed her.
Archer must’ve been thinking the same thing. “Tell me, does that guy have some kind of radar that lets him know when we’re in the middle of something?”
Going over to flop her arms onto the breakfast bar, she leaned across toward him and the cool tile stimulated her naked breasts. “He’s heartbroken and I have recent experience with that… I can’t believe she dumped him.”
“That’s twenty-three-year-olds for you,” he said, returning to his dishes. “He couldn’t have thought it was going to be forever. She dropped that last guy fast when she got a sniff from Tag. I told you guys that she’s a flirt.”
“Does she still flirt with you?” Nya asked, drawing a finger around the grout of the small mosaic tiles that made up the counter surface.
“When I’m at Hex’s, sure. I try to avoid her. It sort of creeps me out.”
Putting her phone on the counter, Nya tightened her arms around her breasts and leaned farther. “How could it creep you out? She’s beautiful… that was your word.”
His sneer was sort of grossed out. “Yeah, but…”
“But what?”
Moving around the breakfast bar, she rested back on the kitchen side. “She’s played with your buddy’s junk. I gotta wonder what sort of woman would do that.”
Nya laughed. “Ok, I get your point. You don’t want to go where Tag has been.”
“Why do you think I checked and double-checked where you’d been before I touched you?”
“Ha!” she exclaimed, going over to stand behind him. “If you background checked all my exes and found out the truth about Damien…” She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face against his spine. “You’d never have wanted to touch me after learning what kind of man he was.”
“Tell me.”
And she would because she wouldn’t deny him anything, but she had somewhere to be. “Another time.” She kissed his arm beneath the edge of his tee shirt sleeve. “Ok.” Taking a deep breath, she stretched again. “I have to go to Tag’s.”
Dragging her feet all the way into the bedroom, she couldn’t make her brain work to figure out what she had to do. “What did Tag do when he found out we broke up?” Archer asked.
She turned around, startled, because she hadn’t expected that he would follow her. “I never told him.” Yawning, she rubbed her eye, which smudged her makeup, so she cursed and went to turn on the light above the mirror that sat on the top of her high dresser.
“You never told him?”
Shrugging, she tilted her face into the light. “He never asked.” Using a fingertip, she fixed the smudge she’d left at the corner of her eye. “He was caught up with Farrah. It’s not like I didn’t see him. I think he knows we’re not together. We just… never talked about it.”
“Why don’t you take it off?” he asked.
Glaring at his reflection for a second, she glanced down at herself. “Take what off? I’m wearing a thong, is that too much for you?”
He smiled and leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Always.” The heat of his breath tickled, so she recoiled and laughed while stroking a hand down his chest. “But I meant the makeup.”
“It’s four o’clock in the morning,” she said. “I should probably put on more. I’ll look a fucking mess rocking up to his place like this after a full shift at Sizzle and a meeting with your buddy, Hex. I’m all over the place.”
“Four in the morning is when you’re fucking hottest.” She went about fixing her old makeup by covering it with a new layer. Archer kept talking. “This is my favorite time of day with you. Why do you think we were always up so late talking? No one else gets to hang out with you like this. When the whole city was asleep, we were awake, making plans. When you’re sleepy and cozy…” Just as she finished her eye liner a hand appeared on either side of the dresser, she was trapped in the arc of his arms and he rubbed his face in her hair. “When you’re yawning and stretching and drowsy like this…”
“Mm hmm?” she asked, prompting him to continue. “What? Or are you just listing dwarves?”
His lips curled and he snagged some strands of her hair in his teeth. “You’ll tell me fucking anything when you’re tired. Your guard is gone. You just talk and talk. I like it.”
“I do?” she asked and he nodded before licking the shell of her ear.
“You talk in your sleep too. If I touch you just right and wake you up just enough,” he said and again, he held her breast in his hand. This time, with her back to his front, she could see the reflection of his caress in the mirror and it mesmerized her. “I can kiss you and touch you like this.” Crouching, he kissed the back of her jaw. “I can ask you any question and you tell me the truth and you never remember in the morning.”
When he grinned, she drove an elbow back into his ribs. “And you call me a manipulator?” she asked, using her butt to push him back so she could open the dresser and pull out a bra and a top. “I should really take a shower, I’ve got the club all over me.” She groaned because she really couldn’t be bothered traipsing across the city to Tag’s.
Scarred (Branded Book 2) Page 25