He saw the struggle reflected in her eyes, but for some reason she wouldn’t allow herself to say the words that he had to believe were in her heart. He’d never seen her be with anyone else the way she had with him.
Elissa rested her hand against his heart. “You mean a great deal to me, Pete. That’s why I want you to do this, to go where it leads you.”
“How am I supposed to go away and leave you behind?”
“You’ve had this dream of following in your father’s footsteps long before you even knew me.”
He started to protest, but she placed her fingers against his lips.
“Do this for me, Pete. Go to the academy, become a trooper. After everything you’ve been through, you deserve this. And if you stayed here, you might wake up ten years down the road and resent the fact that you passed up this opportunity.”
“A job isn’t everything.”
“No, but we both know that this is more than a job to you. It’s a calling.”
He knew Elissa well enough to realize that he could argue until he was blue in the face, and she wasn’t going to budge. He’d just have to find another way to show her how much she meant to him, that he was determined to find a way to make it work between them.
But what if she was right? If he made it through the academy and became a trooper, what would happen if he got stationed at the back end of Texas? He couldn’t ask her to give up her life here in Blue Falls any more than she seemed to be willing to ask him to abandon his long-held goal of becoming a trooper and eventually a Texas Ranger.
He bit down on the need to curse. She must have seen his turmoil because she stepped closer and kissed him. It felt like a goodbye kiss, and that made something shatter inside him. He had a pretty good idea that it was his heart.
* * *
IT WAS A SHORT drive between the inn and Elissa’s house, but she had to pull over on the side of the road halfway there. She sobbed like a baby. She’d always considered herself a strong person, but it had taken an entirely new level of strength to walk away from Pete. The fact that he’d professed his love for her had nearly shaken her resolve to let him go. But she’d seen marriages fall apart because one person had given up too much for the other. Skyler’s parents were a prime example. It always led to resentment or worse. She couldn’t bear the thought of those types of harsh feelings existing between her and Pete.
Because she loved him, too, more than she’d ever loved anyone. She’d commiserated with both India and Skyler when they thought they’d lost the men they loved, but until this moment she’d had no idea how intense that kind of pain could be.
A part of her hoped that fate would smile on them, that he would complete the academy and be posted nearby so they could pick up where they left off. But she couldn’t bank on that. By the time he completed the academy, he might not feel the same way anymore. She swiped at a fresh swell of tears that came on the heels of that thought.
After a few minutes, she managed to pull herself under control. Not willing to answer a bunch of Verona’s questions, she grabbed several tissues from the box in her console and wet them with some bottled water. She wiped the tear tracks from her cheeks and dabbed at what had to be her red, swollen eyes.
By the time she pulled away from the side of the road, half an hour had passed. She wanted nothing more than to curl up in her bed and be left alone to replay all the wonderful memories she had of her time with Pete. Or maybe it would be a better idea to try to push those memories away.
Any hope of escaping to the privacy of her room, however, disappeared when she reached her house and noticed her parents’ car in the driveway. She took a few moments to plaster on a facade that wouldn’t announce her true feelings and headed inside.
“Hey, sweetie!” Elissa’s mom hopped up from the couch and rushed toward her, then wrapped her in her arms. “It’s so good to see you.”
“You, too, Mom. You should have called and we could have had something special planned.”
Her mom waved away the very idea. “Seeing my baby girl is special enough. Plus, I wouldn’t want to intrude on your social life. Verona says you’re dating Pete Kayne. I always thought he was a cutie.”
Elissa shrugged. “We’ve been out a couple of times, nothing serious.” She didn’t dare meet Verona’s gaze, and she hoped her aunt stayed quiet.
“And here I was hoping I might have some grandchildren to spoil some time before I’m too ancient to remember their names.”
Elissa forced a laugh. “I’d say we have a while before that.” She sensed Verona approaching, so Elissa guided her mom back to the couch. “So, I want to hear all about your recent adventures.”
Over the next hour, they talked about all her parents’ latest travels, the tornado and the grand reopening of the nursery in a couple of days. Eventually, her mom started yawning.
“So sorry,” she said. “I guess the jet lag is catching up to me.” She reached forward toward her empty glass on the coffee table.
“I’ll get that, Mom. You and Dad go on to bed.”
As everyone stood, Elissa’s dad pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head the way he had when she was a little girl. “I’m glad you’re safe, punkin. When I heard about how close that tornado came to you, I nearly had a coronary.”
Elissa hugged her dad tightly, partly because she was glad to see him but also because she needed some comfort after breaking things off with Pete.
As her parents started down the hallway, Elissa grabbed the dirty dishes from the coffee table and headed to the kitchen to put them in the dishwasher. She realized her mistake of not making a beeline for her own bedroom when she turned to find Verona standing at the entrance to the kitchen.
“What’s going on with you and Pete?”
“Nothing. We had a little fun, and now it’s over. You know I’m not the settling-down-with-one-guy type.”
“Bull.”
Elissa startled at the intensity of Verona’s response.
“You may have been that way before, but Pete changed you.”
“You’re mistaken.”
“It’s about the letter from DPS, isn’t it? He’s going to the academy.”
Elissa’s bottom lip quivered. She bit down on the involuntary reaction, but she wasn’t quick enough to keep Verona from seeing it. Her aunt came closer.
“You’re pretending you don’t love him so he’ll go, aren’t you?”
There was no hiding anything from her aunt, so why try? “You know him. He won’t go if he thinks he has a reason to stay.”
“Shouldn’t that be his decision?”
“You don’t know how much this means to him, how much it’s always meant. He shouldn’t have to give up his dream because of me.”
“Oh, hon. I think you underestimate Pete.”
“How so? He’s done it before. He’s the type of guy who always puts himself last. It’s not fair.”
“What’s not fair is you lying to him.”
“I didn’t.”
“But you’re not telling him the entire truth, either.”
Elissa let out a long sigh. “It’s my decision, and it’s done.” Unable to talk about Pete anymore without falling apart again, she walked past her aunt and retreated to her bedroom. Almost as soon as she closed the door behind her, the tears started falling again. She curled up in her bed. Even though her linens had been washed since she’d shared the bed with Pete, she’d swear she could still smell his scent.
She closed her eyes, but that didn’t keep the tears at bay. Not wanting anyone to hear her distress, she buried her face in her pillow and let the sorrow flow.
Chapter Fifteen
“You’re doing what?” India and Skyler said in unison.
Elissa glanced around at the customers filling the nursery. Whil
e she was happy that the grand reopening was such a success, her heart still weighed heavy. She missed Pete more than she would have ever thought possible. And that was just after a day apart. What would it be like after a week, a month?
“Mom and Dad asked me to go to New Zealand with them, and I’m going. Quite honestly, I need a vacation.”
“But you just reopened the nursery,” India said.
“And I have competent employees to run it.”
India took Elissa’s hands in hers. “Are you sure you did the right thing with Pete? I saw him at the bakery yesterday, and he looked like someone had sucked all the light out of his life.”
Elissa retrieved her hands. “Don’t try to make me feel any worse than I already do.”
“But if you both feel this awful, doesn’t that tell you something?” Skyler asked.
“I know it’s hard now, but if he lets one more thing keep him from following this dream he’s had since he was a little boy, I fear he’ll never follow it. And he’ll live to regret it.”
Elissa looked from India to Skyler and back. “And what is that saying, if you love something, set it free? If it comes back to you, it was meant to be. If it doesn’t, it was never yours.”
Her friends didn’t look convinced, but all thoughts of trying to make them see she was doing the right thing faded when she spotted Pete looking at her from across the room. She wanted so badly to run to him, to kiss him and confess that she loved him, too. She didn’t know where she got the strength to hold her ground. Maybe someday she’d feel good about giving him the freedom he needed to go after what he wanted, but right now it just carved her up inside.
“I hope you know what you’re doing,” Skyler said.
Elissa gave her friend a sad smile. “I guess you were right, after all. I did end up hurting him.”
Skyler didn’t get a chance to respond before India noticed Pete approaching and pulled her away.
“Looks like a good turnout,” Pete said as he scanned the crowd.
“Yes, I’m pleasantly surprised.”
“I don’t know why. You have a great business, and everyone has been waiting for you to reopen so they could support you.”
An awkward silence descended between them, and she hated it with every fiber of her being. She desperately wanted back the easy camaraderie, the laughter, the way he made her body vibrate when he kissed her.
“Lis, I’ve been thinking about what you said, and I haven’t changed my mind. I don’t want to give up on us.”
“Pete—”
“Even if I go, it won’t be for another week. I want to spend that week with you.”
She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “I won’t be here. I’m leaving tonight for New Zealand with my parents.”
Pete’s forehead scrunched in confusion. “What?”
“I haven’t had a vacation in forever, and I’ve missed my parents. I’ve always wanted to go to New Zealand, so this seemed like the perfect opportunity.”
“Were you even going to tell me?”
“No.” She hated being so blunt, but she could see the path his thoughts had been thinking. If he was going to make it in the academy, he had to have all his attention on that, not on her.
“I see.” He took a step back, and it felt as if he took a chunk of her heart with him. “I hope you have a nice time.”
Pete spun and walked away so quickly that Elissa nearly cried out. Instead, she pressed her lips together and watched the man she loved walk out of the building, wondering if it would be the last time she ever saw him.
* * *
ELISSA STARED OUT across the incredible beauty of New Zealand’s Lake Manapouri. With the backdrop of the snow-covered Cathedral Mountains, it was truly awe-inspiring. Her eyes knew it; so did her mind. It was her heart that wasn’t getting the message. No, it was firmly entrenched a world away.
She wiped away a tear as her parents approached.
“Breathtaking, isn’t it?” her mother said as she came to stand next to Elissa.
“It is.” And she suddenly wished Pete were here beside her, to see this wonder with her.
Elissa glanced at her father as he made his way on down the trail, pausing to take photos from different vantage points.
“We can get you to the airport by early evening.”
Elissa jerked her attention back to her mother. “What?”
“Sweetie, it’s obvious you’re not really here.”
“I’m sorry. I guess I’m just tired. It’s been an exhausting few weeks.”
“I might not be around all that often, but I am your mother. I know when you’re fibbing, and I know when you’re hurting. And right now you’re doing both.”
Elissa shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done.”
“The only thing that is irreversible is death. Now, we’re going to take you to the airport, where there’s a ticket back to the States waiting. I know you’re stubborn, but you forget you get that from me. Within five minutes of seeing you that first night back, I knew you had changed. You thought you hid it, but I could see you’d been crying. After I’d talked to Verona, it all became clear.”
“But I can’t stand in his way.”
“Darling girl,” her mother said as she smoothed a few loose hairs out of Elissa’s face. “Pete is a grown man, entitled to make his own decisions. And by all accounts he’s head over heels in love with my daughter. After everything he’s been through, all he’s lost, don’t you think he deserves to be with the woman he loves? The woman who loves him?”
Elissa felt like a fool because she hadn’t thought of it that way. She’d thought she was doing the right thing.
“What if I’m too late?”
“Somehow I doubt that boy has fallen out of love with you that quickly.”
The burning need to get back to Pete rushed through Elissa. She had to tell him how she felt and hope that she hadn’t ruined everything.
“What time is my flight?”
Elissa’s mom looked past her. “Come on, Henry. Our girl’s got a plane to catch.”
* * *
THE TRIP HOME from New Zealand felt like an eternity, as if she were coasting to the edge of the universe. When she landed in Austin, she wanted nothing more than to rush straight to Pete. But she had no idea where he was staying since the academy didn’t have housing. Plus, after darn near twenty-four hours of airports and cramped planes, she probably looked as worn as she felt.
So she drove home, planning exactly what she would say to Pete. She tried not to think about what she’d do if he told her she was too late, that she’d hurt him too much for him to forgive her.
When she drove down her street, she noticed India’s vehicle parked in her driveway. As soon as Elissa stepped into the house, India wrapped her in a hug.
“I knew you’d come to your senses.” India pulled back and grabbed Elissa’s hand. “Now come on. We’ve got work to do.”
Verona shook her head. “I told them you’d need to get some sleep before you go see Pete.”
“No, I just came home to grab a shower and some clean clothes. I’m wearing three continents.”
“Told you,” India said. “I know this crazy, can’t-wait-another-minute feeling.” She looked back at Elissa. “Go shower. We’ll be waiting for you in your bedroom.”
Her nerves sparking at the idea of being able to see Pete soon, she took her time showering, using her sweet pea shower gel, washing her hair and shaving her legs. She didn’t want to look or smell like something that had just been dumped out of the cargo hold of a plane when she saw him again. The idea was to win him back, not make his nose turn up.
When she reached her bedroom, she found her two best friends at the ready with makeup, hair products and a new dress, shoes and je
welry from India’s store.
“You didn’t have to do this,” Elissa said as India and Skyler went to work on her.
“Are you kidding?” Skyler said. “And miss the chance to say, ‘We told you so’?”
Elissa rolled her eyes, but she didn’t fire back. Her friends could say whatever they wanted as long as Pete still loved her.
* * *
PETE WALKED OUT of the academy building alongside Carl and Shondra, two of his fellow trainees.
“I feel like I could eat an elephant,” Carl said. “You all up for barbecue tonight? I hear Spivey’s is good.”
“Sounds good,” Shondra said.
“Pete, you in?”
He thought about declining, but sitting in his motel room alone again didn’t hold a lot of appeal, especially when he imagined Elissa on the other side of the world playing tourist and not giving him a second thought. He kept going back and forth between believing she’d been telling the truth when she said she just wanted him to follow his dream and thinking it was only an excuse to get out of a relationship that had gone too far for her.
“Sure, sounds good. I’ll meet you guys there in half an hour.”
“Make it an hour,” Shondra said. “I think we all need showers after today.”
“Maybe you do. I barely broke a sweat,” Carl said.
“Yeah, you just keep thinking that, Stinky.”
Pete laughed at them as he headed toward his truck. He drove the few miles to his motel, pulled into the lot and parked on autopilot. It wasn’t until he stepped out and started walking toward his room that he saw something that shocked him so much he froze. He blinked a few times, not trusting his eyes.
“Hello, Pete.” Elissa, she was real, standing beside his door wearing a blue-and-white dress, threatening to rob him of his very last breath.
“What are you doing here? I thought you were in New Zealand.”
“I was until yesterday. Or the day before.” She shook her head. “I don’t even know what day it is. I’ve spent most of the last twenty-four hours trying to get here.”
His heart picked up its pace despite the fact that he was trying not to get his hopes up. “Why?”
Marrying the Cowboy Page 18