by Jessie Cooke
38
Gunner thought he was going to die. Sweat was pouring off him like he was a damned fountain. Raymond was yelling at him to keep moving, but that was easy for him to say. The guy he was in the ring with now was his third of the evening and he was completely spent. He didn’t think he had anything left in him to stay on his feet if this guy connected with his body again. He did fantastic against the first guy, like he always did when he was fresh. The second one he’d had to work harder to beat because he was already a little winded, and by the third he was whooped, but each guy he fought was fresh out of the locker room. Maybe all the sex wasn’t a great idea. He was on his third day of training and he and Tamara hadn’t missed one opportunity. That made him laugh in his head. There was no way in hell that sex with Tammy was not a great idea.
He was thankful at least for the equipment Raymond insisted he wear. Raymond had almost changed his mind about the training, when he saw the fresh scarring on Gunner’s body. One of the gunshot wounds was still covered with gauze because it wasn’t completely healed. Gunner lied and told him that he’d gotten bitten and scratched playing with a friend’s dog. He was sure Ray wouldn’t have trained him if he knew he’d recently been shot. That fact probably explained why he was already so tired and winded, and he had less than two weeks to get into shape. He was trying to stay confident that he could do it, if he didn’t die trying.
“Move your feet!” Raymond barked at him. “If you stand there like that when you get in the ring with Red Crow, your ass will hit that mat in seconds.” Gunner moved…the wrong way. His sparring partner took advantage of it and landed a punch to the side of his head. It connected with his headgear, but there was enough force behind it to cause him to stumble back. He didn’t have the strength to catch himself, and he slipped in a puddle of sweat and went down on his ass. “Jesus. Stop, stop, stop!” Raymond yelled. He’d seemed like such a mild-mannered guy at first, but Gunner learned the hard way that he obviously had a temper. “Are you kidding?” he asked as he pulled himself up onto the ropes. “This is all you’ve got? You won’t make it past the first round in the cage.” He said that every time. Gunner usually didn’t respond, but today he finally said:
“I’m just out of shape. It’s been a while…”
“I don’t care. I don’t care how long it’s been. I’m telling you that the shape you’re in, you’ll never make it.”
“I can do this.”
“You fight like a street fighter. It’s not the same in here. Even if you could keep your breath, you don’t know any of the moves.”
“Then teach me.”
“I’m good, but I’m not a miracle worker. Two weeks is not enough time. Less than that now.”
“You’ve got nothing to lose here, right? Whether I win or lose, you and Zack are square, right?”
Raymond looked like he was thinking it over. Finally, he said, “Okay, I’ll teach you. But if you’re serious about this, it will take more than the three hours a day you’re putting in.”
“I’ve got twenty-four,” Gunner said, pushing up off his ass.
Raymond rolled his eyes. “I don’t want to raise you. Three hours in the morning and two in the evening. Be here at six a.m. tomorrow.” Gunner looked at the clock on the wall. It was just before eight p.m. “Is that a problem for you?”
“No. I’ll be here.”
“Okay. No drinking, smoking, or fucking tonight.”
“Yeah, sure.” Gunner knew he could go without alcohol and weed for two weeks, but just the mention of fucking made him think about Tammy. Unless she was the one holding out, the no-sex thing wasn’t going to happen. He’d already figured that much out the past three days.
“Get in the shower and get out of here. You have ten hours. Use it to rest.”
Gunner dragged his sore, tired ass to the locker room and showered. When he got back to the clubhouse he found Tammy in the great room. She heated him up a pulled pork sandwich and fries, and when she tried to give him a beer he declined and asked for water. She sat down with him while he ate and said:
“So how did it go?”
“Good,” Gunner lied. “Raymond says I’m coming along. He does want me to come in more hours in the morning. We just don’t have that much time.”
“So…does he still say no sex?”
Gunner smiled. That fact hadn’t seemed to bother her at all when he told her. “If he does, will that mean you won’t give me any?”
“Only if you don’t want it,” she said with a wink. “I’m sorry. I’m not usually such a nymphomaniac. Being locked up like this is driving me crazy.”
“Never apologize to me for being a nympho,” he said. “When I win this money, I’ll take you out to dinner and a movie or dancing…whatever you want.”
She smiled. “You dance?”
“Only when someone is swinging a big fist at me.” He took a drink of his water and said, “But for you, I’d fake it.”
She reached across the table and covered one of his hands in hers. “I’m sorry…about the day you tried to tell me how you feel. I should have talked to you instead of running out like I did.”
“It’s really okay. I never should have blurted it out like I did. I was just so overwhelmed with how good it felt to be with you that it came out. I heard it at the same time you did. I’ve never said that to anyone before.”
“So, it was just an impulsive thing? You didn’t really mean it?”
He grinned and put his sandwich down. “See, this seems like a trap to me.”
Tammy laughed. “A trap?”
“Yeah. If I say I meant it, you get up and run again. If I say I didn’t, well, then you just think I’m an asshole that lies in bed.”
She laughed again. “I promise, I won’t run and I won’t think you’re an asshole.”
“Which one are you hoping for?”
“Gunner!”
“What? I said the words but the pressure is still all on me. You have to know that I care about you. What I know is that you like having sex with me and when people call me your boyfriend, you deny it.”
She looked embarrassed as she said, “I’m sorry about that. I haven’t had a boyfriend in a while. I guess I’m just not sure when to begin calling it that.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why in God’s name would a drop-dead gorgeous, smart, sexy, funny woman, that can shoot, not have a boyfriend for a long time?”
She shrugged. “The last man I dated seriously came to visit me a couple weeks after I graduated from nursing school. He was a radiology technician. He lives in Dallas and he was raised in an upper-middle-class family. His dad is a doctor. I was delusional, I think, but we had been talking about him transferring to San Antonio and me getting a job in the hospital there and maybe moving in together. The first day he came to visit, he met Tommy. I honestly thought my brother did a good job, being on his best behavior. But Michael, that was the guy’s name, he was overwhelmed by him, I think. I forget that Tommy can be bigger than life.” Tears welled in her eyes and Gunner covered her other hand and squeezed.
“Hey, you don’t have to talk about this.”
“It’s okay. I talked to the hospital earlier and they told me Tommy hasn’t woken up yet. I just miss him. Anyways,” she said, wiping at the corner of her eye, “Michael seemed almost intimidated by Tommy. We went out that evening after Tommy left, and he was subdued and just not like himself. But, the next day he seemed okay, and that was when Dad and a few of the guys rode in to see me. If Tommy intimidated him, Dad scared him to death. That night I found him packing when he was supposed to be there for two more weeks. He was remorseful about leaving me like that, but he said he couldn’t be a part of the lifestyle. When I told him that no one was asking him to live that ‘lifestyle,’ his question was, ‘Are you willing to write your family off?’ I wasn’t. He left. Then, for the next six months I mulled over it and just before I met you, I’d almost talked myself into it…just leaving an
d not coming back.”
“Then all this shit happened because of me and screwed up your plans.”
She shook her head. “I told you this wasn’t your fault. But no, Gunner…the circumstances aren’t what changed my plans, you did. I didn’t want to leave you and if I’m being honest with you, that pisses me off.”
He smiled, cautiously. “It pisses you off to have feelings for me?”
“Yeah, it does. Let me ask you a question. When all of this is over, what are your plans?”
He knew there was a wrong answer to that question, and he knew the truth was probably it. But, he wasn’t going to lie to her. He’d already caused her too much grief. “I would like to go back east and get to know my brother.”
She smiled, but her eyes looked sad. “And be a part of his club?”
“That was in the plans, yes.”
“And that is why my feelings piss me off. I promised myself years ago that I’d never fall for a biker. I don’t want to spend my life in the dark because I’m an ‘old lady,’ or patching up gunshot wounds in the back room of a clubhouse…or waiting for my man to get killed.”
Gunner didn’t know what to say. He’d never had any ambition other than to find his family and be a part of the club that he’d worshipped his whole life. Now that he’d found his family, this thing with Martini was the only thing standing between him and his final goal…or it was, until he realized how much Tamara meant to him. He was trying to put that into words when Zack burst into the room. The guy never did anything normally. When he came into a room it was with a snap of the door. He always had to make an entrance. Gunner liked that he still had a black eye, but just the sight of his face made him wish he’d never agreed not to hit him again.
“Hello, lovebirds.”
Tammy sighed and rubbed her temples. “What do you want, Zack?”
“You know, I said you hadn’t changed but I think I was wrong. I don’t remember you being quite so nasty.”
“What’s up, Zack?” Gunner asked, trying to stave off the anxiety attack Tammy looked like she was on the verge of. Zack looked at Gunner and back at Tammy with that annoying smile he always had on his face and said:
“Eddie made another hit on your father.”
“Then why the fuck are you smiling?” Gunner said, growing angry. “Is he okay?”
Tamara was glaring at Zack. He at least had the decency to lose the smile, but he said, “Tammy knows how I feel about Randall. My only reason for mourning him would be for Tammy’s sake.”
“Mourning him? Is he dead?”
“Nope, dang it. He used to tell me that he has nine lives. I keep waiting for him to use them up.”
“Can you just tell her what happened without being a dick for two seconds?” Gunner gritted his teeth.
Zack pulled a chair over and once again sat down on it backwards before saying, “My guy tells me they’ve got Randall hidden out somewhere, and they’ve been keeping the location in-house since the incident at the hospital. But apparently, someone found out that he was at the house of one of the old ladies’ sisters in San Antonio. A pipe bomb was left on the front porch. The homeowner lady was at work, but Randall was in the house. This part is hard to believe from what I remember about Randall, but he was in the shower. By the time he got out, the front of the house and the front door were fully engulfed in fire. The sly old bastard escaped out the bathroom window in his towel. I’m guessing that was a big window and hoping it was a big towel.” He laughed. Gunner reached over and grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him forward.
“Don’t, Gunner. He’s not worth it.”
Zack was still smiling. The fucker was obviously brain dead if he didn’t know how badly Gunner wanted to kill him. “Go ahead. I’m going to hate giving up that 6 percent anyways.” Gunner let go of him, and pushed him back so hard that he had to catch the chair with his long legs to keep it from turning over. He smoothed his shirt and his kutte and said, “Do the two of you angry birds want to hear the best part?”
Gunner looked at Tammy. She looked at Zack and said, “If it’s something we need to know. If it’s sarcasm, I might just punch you in the face myself.”
“Only five people at the club knew Randall’s whereabouts and one of them wasn’t your boyfriend here. He’s off the hook as far as being the rat.”
Tammy’s face suddenly brightened. “So we can go home?”
Gunner was happy that he didn’t have to run from that shit anymore, and for Tammy’s sake, he was happy that Randall was okay. But what he wasn’t happy about was the fact that he had no idea any longer where “home” was. Was it the place he and Patty and Billy had carved out in their little bar and their little town? Was it in Massachusetts with Dax and the Skulls? The funny thing was that when he thought of home now, he didn’t think of a place. Instead, he thought of it as a person, and that person was sitting across from him.
39
Zack made it clear that no one was going anywhere until Gunner competed in the underground fighting tournament, and he was paid back for his services. Tammy was pissed because she wanted to get back to see her brother. Patty was having a hot and heavy affair with one of the old bikers at the club, so she wasn’t in any hurry, and Billy was getting more free sex and weed than he had in his life, so he wasn’t upset over it either. Gunner still had no idea what he was planning to do. He’d spoken to Dax about it a few times in the past week, since Zack told him he was cleared. Dax encouraged him to go to Massachusetts. He thought that he was a better fit there than he would be with the Head Hunters. Gunner believed that was true. Randall and Tommy didn’t like him, and then there was 8Ball and anyone who was loyal to that piece of crap. The truth was, Gunner hadn’t felt any kind of bond while he was there, other than with Tammy. The trouble with that was, she still hadn’t told him what kind of bond she felt for him. After Zack interrupted them that night, they’d gone back to their room and had mind-blowing sex, the variety of which they had at least once a day, and on Gunner’s one day off from training, at least twice, every day since. He was exhausted, but it was worth it.
“Where is your head at?” He came out of his thoughts and back to the present to the sound of Raymond’s voice growling. It was right in his ear, and he was surprised to see the other man had walked up on him from behind and he hadn’t seen or heard him.
“Sorry, Ray.”
“You’re sorry?” Raymond pushed Gunner’s contender out of the way. The kid moved back without argument. “You’re sorry? I’ve spent the past week dedicating all my free time to you. I get to this fucking gym at six a.m. and I don’t leave until nine because of you. I’m getting blue balls because I never have time to see my girlfriend because of you. You come in here one day begging me to teach you, spend a few days pretending like you’re taking this shit to heart, and then suddenly you look like a kid in his first fight on the schoolyard. I told you to shuffle…three times…before Hector connected with your hard head. Why didn’t you do it?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you.”
Gunner didn’t even see Raymond’s fist coming. He felt it connect with the side of his head, and his neck snapped back. He’d taken out his mouth guard to talk and his teeth snapped together. “You hear that, asshole?” Raymond asked.
Gunner’s first instinct was to get pissed, and fight back. But Zack had hinted that his cut would be in the thousands, and if Gunner was going to start over, he needed that money. He’d spent the money Dax left him traveling. Tammy had taken what Randall had in the safe, but it wasn’t enough to get all four of them to Tennessee. He was flat broke, so this was as important to him as it was to Zack. Gunner rubbed his ear. It was buzzing. “I can hear you,” he said at last.
“Yeah? So, you just weren’t listening?” Raymond threw his fist at him again. That time Gunner dodged it.
“Getting pissed off, kid?”
“Yes,” Gunner said and gritted his teeth.
“Yeah? You want to hit me back?”
&nb
sp; “Yes.”
“Come on, kid. Show me what you got.” Raymond pushed him in the middle of his chest. Gunner stumbled backwards. “Hit me.”
“You don’t have any gear on.”
“I don’t need gear. You hit like a fucking girl.”
“I get it, Raymond. I’ll pay attention. Let’s not do this.”
“I said hit me, kid.”
“Don’t call me kid.”
“Don’t like that? Hit me, bitch.”
Gunner pulled back his fist and hit Raymond as hard as he could, on the right side of his face. Raymond’s head snapped to the side and blood sprayed out of his nose. He stayed on his feet, though, and when he looked back up at Gunner, he was smiling. His teeth were bright red with blood. “Good job, Gunner. That’s what I need you to do. You need to take whatever shit is going on in your head and channel it through those big fists of yours. If you’re going to get past the first round of this thing, that’s what you’re going to have to do.”
Gunner nodded. Blood was running out the side of Raymond’s mouth. “Are you okay?”
Raymond laughed and wiped the blood off his chin with his hand. “I’ve taken harder hits from my ten-year-old niece.” He winked before he climbed out of the ring. Gunner smiled and shook his head. Raymond went and cleaned up, and by the time he got back, Hector and Gunner were sparring again and Gunner was managing to keep his head in the ring. By the time he finished for the morning, Gunner’s legs felt like jelly. Every muscle in his body was screaming with pain and he had a bruise on his cheek. He was exhausted, and as he rode his bike back to the clubhouse all he could think about was crawling into bed and going to sleep. Hopefully Tammy would still be there. He had discovered that there was no better way to sleep than with her wrapped up in his arms. Unfortunately, that day it was not to be.
Zack was the first person Gunner saw as he rode up in front of the clubhouse. He was dressed in his kutte and riding gear, and was sliding a do-rag over his long hair as Gunner climbed off his bike. “Hey. You look like hell.”