by Karmon Kuhn
Still silence. I could detect slight annoyance as my guard bathed the room with involuntary pheromone excretions.
“Why are you here? It’s not as if I can free myself!”
Nothing made sense. There was no justice here. No reason to believe that my captors had even thought this out. They couldn’t get away with keeping me without a peace officer. We lived in a free society, and there were people who would look for me eventually. Land trials didn’t last forever, and at some point, I’d be missed.
“Someone will come looking for me, you know!” I shouted, struggling to free myself.
“No one will look, and no one would find you if they did,” the guard answered, speaking for the first time.
The cold surety of his voice made my skin prickle and tingle. There was nothing in me that could muster a believable rally. I simply closed my eyes. What else could I do?
Chapter 18
E
xhaustion overtook me until I was startled awake by a strong scent. It was familiar and menacing. My captor. He entered the room in a cloud of aggression. The stench of hate nearly activated my gag reflex.
Then he spoke, “Human lover, wake up!”
Before I could respond, his open hand swung toward my face. The slap connected with my cheek, and a scream rattled from my raspy throat. The chain around my head dug in on the left side from the force of the slap, and warm blood trickled from my forehead and the side of my mouth.
Before I had time to recover fully, he began with his questions, “Who sent you?”
“Who sent me?” I asked, genuinely confused. He lifted his hand, and I winced. “You brought me here! I don’t understand what you mean!”
“Do not act as if I am a fool! Who sent you here to investigate the research center?”
“No one. I . . .”
I was interrupted then by another sharp slap across the other side of my face and could feel more blood leaking from my pierced and bruised skin.
“Do not lie to me! Who sent you here during your land trials?”
I rushed to answer, “I came on my own! I thought that another trialist was delivering bad news about me, and I wanted to defend myself!”
He didn’t hit me again immediately. Instead, he asked, “And what did you learn?”
“Nothing. I . . .” He lifted his hand and I rushed again to say, “I didn’t meet with my instructor. Once in the lab, I saw a trapped human woman who was trying to escape. She was badly hurt and then was tranquilized and dragged away!”
He stopped to consider this and then stared at me coolly. “What else do you know?”
“Nothing. I just saw the woman and hid in the library until I could run.”
“You mean to tell me that for the hours that you were in the human studies department, you learned nothing?”
In measured response, I said, “I understand that it sounds suspicious, but I didn’t disturb any work. I simply moved around materials while I waited in order to look busy. I was frightened, and I just wanted to leave.”
“I believe that you are that cowardly, zùṣùyoẓø,” he responded.
“Zùṣùyoẓø?” Why did he address me as ‘classmate’? I’d never met him before.
“You are not very observant. We shared classes from the early years. I am Zhozshi, but you once knew me as Aszuih.”
“Aszuih? Who was a first wave settler at this tsez̈ø?”
“Yes. It is lucky too. Had I not arrived early to notice your arrival, no one would have been wise of your antics.”
“What antics have I partook in?”
“Even young, you were too interested in the work of the humans. I provided warning to ensure that you would be watched, and just as I expected, your ignorance betrayed us. Appreciate what is coming to you as you deserve much worse.”
“What is coming to me?” I asked, and he ignored me.
He stood with his back to me for a moment.
So I asked him again, “What is going to happen to me?”
Silence.
“Whatever it is that’s happening here, I won’t tell anyone! I only want to take Penny and leave! That is what we were trying to do! I never planned to expose anything or threaten . . .”
He primed the back of his hand to strike, but before he could act, a new voice ordered, “Stop!”
He retreated and another face hovered over me. Someone I recognized.
“Zhoṣuṣùssss?”
“Yes, Essehi,” she responded.
“Thank oceans! Thank you, Zhoṣuṣùssss, for coming to me. I knew that I wouldn’t be kept here like this,” I answered.
“Essehi, your stay here is . . . undesirable but necessary.”
“But . . . Zhoṣuṣùssss . . .?”
She stood up straighter to silence me. “I placed my faith in you, Essehi. I was warned that sending you was a risk, but I believed in you. I went as far as to send you support in Darius. And still, you failed me.”
“I . . .” again, she interrupted.
“Despite your failures, you are still useful. If that changes, we will have no reason to keep you here any longer. Do you understand?”
***
I laid there in a stunned silence for a long time after their visit. Each time the door vented or opened, I waited to be questioned and struck, but Zhozshi didn’t return. Instead, strangers visited me with extraction materials. They took my blood, my scales, my venom, and my claws. A few of them were gentle, but most of them yanked at me or stabbed freely as they took their samples. The only response that I ever received to my questions was the same haughty stare from each of them.
The length of my imprisonment was a mystery, but I was served many, many meals and refused many others. Given that, it was quite some time. Perhaps, years of getting weaker in body and mind. Although reasonably, it was likely only a few months that I spent in that room.
Initially, I was given short periods of time out of my bindings to relieve myself and clean my body, but I always stood sorer and weaker than the break before. In time, I proved that I was not a physical threat and was provided a cot for sleeping and a very small corner pool to help heal my chapped, peeling scales. Even with these comforts, my thoughts were clouded and my concentration waned. At times, I even saw things that weren’t there or heard voices that didn’t exist.
Once, I thought that I’d heard Penny’s voice say my name.
With a croak, I asked, “Penny? Are you there?”
I was answered with the guard’s stench of confusion and concern, and then she spoke, “Who are you talking to?”
I stared at her wildly. By that time, the guards were as much a feature of the room as the storage furniture, so her response was unsettling. I answered sharply, “I was not talking to anyone!”
“Who is Penny?” she nudged quietly.
I snarled at her defensively. “Do not play dumb with me! You know who Penny is!”
She puzzled and said, “I do not know anyone named Penny. This is my first day at the tsez̈ø. They told me to cover this room because the scheduled guard is ill today. I do not have any idea who you are talking about.”
Still suspicious, my tongue flicked in and out and tested the air. Could I believe her? She smelled rather neutral beyond the fear. What if she was telling the truth?
“What are you afraid of?” I asked her.
She answered with a wave of filthy smelling fear. It was me. She was afraid of me. First, I was insulted but then excited. If I could overpower her, that fear would provide an advantage. I slid up a small measure and then melted back down into my corner pool.
“Penny is the only one I’ve loved,” I told her, “She is here. Somewhere.”
The guard’s stench lightened a bit, and her face filled with curiosity. I waited. Speech had eluded me for so long, but what if she was yet another enemy? Could I trust her with my memories?
“She made me better. She showed me that even the broken and beaten can t
rust and love and grow. That even the ordinary can survive extraordinary things. She taught me that life of all types has value.”
From the look on the guard’s face, I clearly wasn’t explaining this well. She’d likely never felt this kind of connection or met anyone like Penny. I certainly hadn’t before I left home.
“I fell in love with a human.” I confided in her.
Instead of insults or violence, she followed my statement with a question, “Penny is a human?”
“Yes.”
“Why are you both here?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” I said, “Do you?”
“Truly, I have no idea. I was meant to start in the engineering section of the center today, but my mentor told me to come here. All that I was told was not to overstimulate or . . .” she stopped then.
“Or . . . ?” I asked, hoping that she would continue.
“Or listen to what you said. I was told that you were a study candidate in medical and had to be under constant supervision due to your . . . side effects,” she answered carefully.
“I see,” I said, “And do you believe this to be the truth?”
“I . . . I am not sure,” she said.
I knew that I might die in here, and I wanted someone to know my story if I did. Even if she wouldn’t believe it, I had to tell someone what had happened to me.
“I went to my land trials and met the human, Penny. She showed me much about humanity, and I’ve learned now that they aren’t as we have known them. I studied their languages all my life, and somehow, even I didn’t understand their complexity. They are highly emotional and intelligent beings, and after meeting one of them, I learned something very important.”
I looked around the room suspiciously, almost afraid to make the statement. Expecting for a hand to fly out of the shadows and pelt my face. Or for a tail to strike my prone back.
“What did you learn?”
“That they are our equals.”
She looked at me curiously and asked, “Do you really believe that?”
“I do not just believe it as a possibility. I know it is the truth. Humans think differently, they communicate differently, and they act very differently. But, they share something with us. They are living, breathing, sentient creatures that can contemplate philosophy and plan for the future and connect with each other deeply. Their lives and their existence is worth no less than ours! And that is why I am here! Because I am alone in accepting that fact and the powers that be are threatened by my knowledge.”
“Do you mean that you are a prisoner here?” she asked me, her eyes wide.
“Yes,” I answered, feeling hope for the first time since arriving here.
“I do not understand,” she said, filling the room with that stench of fear again, “How could they possibly keep you here unless it was for your own safety?”
“There is something going on in this center that someone doesn’t want others to know about,” I answered, “And I think that they believe I pose some sort of threat to their ‘work’.”
“If this is all true, then where is Penny?” She asked me, fighting the possibility that I might be speaking honestly.
“I found her once. I’m not sure how I got to the room, but there were at least two humans being kept in that same area of the center. Penny and a pregnant woman. If you find them, you will know that I am telling the truth,” I said, offering her a solution to her curiosity.
“If I find her?” she asked incredulously. “I will do no such thing! I should not have even spoken with you! This is why they told me not to!”
I tried to remain calm, but she was my only chance. If I could somehow plant a seed of doubt, she might sympathize with me. She might somehow feel an urge to help me.
“You do not have to believe me, but you are free to leave here at the end of the day. If you wish to find out the truth, all that you have to do is follow the hallways until you can find the humans. I know that I turned left from my prison’s door, but I am not sure which direction I went after that. Because you are a new attendee and because you were sent here today, there would be little suspicion if you got lost and found your way to Penny,” I suggested, trying to make my croaking, out-of-use voice warm and welcoming.
She was silent, but I could tell that she was considering my words. After a time she said, “I am not sure that I want to know what is going on here. I do not have very long left until the next attendee comes to relieve me.”
“If you find them,” I said, “Please. Save Penny.”
Chapter 19
I
’m not sure when I nodded off, but the conversation with the female guard had exhausted me. When I awoke, she’d been replaced by another threatening male with a terrifyingly straight posture and potent, aggressive scent. I’d have no such conversation with him and busied myself with mathematical equations. After the extended period of being here without stimulation, I’d realized that practicing math solutions and verb conjugations from memory helped me to focus and give me some sort of purpose to my unscheduled waking hours. To be: am, are, is, was, were, have been, has been, had been, would have been
When the shift changed and my meal came, I paused my silent recitations and ate the raw fish and eggs whole and tried to appreciate the taste and flavor as they slithered down my throat. I missed human food. From time to time, I imagined what my simple prison meals would taste like with human senses. It was quite the entertainment in my cell.
Once I’d finished eating, I noticed the scent of someone else. Surely, I hadn’t slept through an entire shift. But, there were never two guards. The new scent was soft on the surface with an intense undertone that made it hard to read.
Then, the female guard from earlier entered from the drainage chamber. She came in and shot a glance at the current guard and then me, stood up stick-straight and secreted a new smell. The previous guard seemed to understand it well enough, like it was a secret passcode, and then he left.
I had so many questions for the guard, and it took all of my will not to give away my feelings automatically. Rather than pouncing on her, I waited for her to acclimate.
Time seemed frozen as I waited for her to react to me until finally she spoke, “Door 4, central hall of the department.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. She found Penny! Maybe she would even help me after all! I slithered toward her intending to thank her, but I was bowled over by a powerful odor, thick with subtext. I’d never sensed this simultaneous terror and rage. Like a caged animal primed to attack. I shrunk down, paralyzed with fear and bemusement. Her fists were balled up. She opened one and deposited something into my hand.
Then, she said,“Hit me.”
“What?!”
“Hit me! You need to go, but there has to be evidence of a struggle. Hit me as hard as you can!”
“But . . . You’ve helped me, how can I . . . ?”
“Consider this injury as a thank you. It could keep me from being in your position. Now! HIT ME.”
I pulled back my puny arm. It was so heavy. As weak as I was, the force of that blow to her unprotected face still caused her to double over, flinching and holding her swollen face. My knuckles stung, and I knew they would soon bruise and swell.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered before sneaking out of the room.
I followed her instructions and slithered down the dark hallway, hugging the walls with my back out. I tried my best to blend in to the background and communicate as neutral of a scent as possible in case anyone was around a corner. I was quite tired but was able to move quickly, all things considered.
It was much easier to find my way this time as I had some direction. Then, I saw them. A row of newly numbered doors in the larger main tunnel. I shivered with nervous excitement. I could do this. I had to do this. For me and for Penny.
I sensed no one nearby until I was just outside the first door. The wafting scents of fear and pain greeted me. A bitter tang of hu
man suffering. I followed the trail and fought the urge to call out. I didn’t want to risk drawing attention to myself.
I put my ear to the first door and heard a slight stirring. I could smell a human but no one else. I opened the door slightly and peered in. It was a young woman, about Penny’s age. She was also swollen with pregnancy, just as the woman before had been.
I slowly closed the door and slid to the next. There was something familiar about the scent behind it. I cracked the door, peered in, and saw slimy, brown tendrils around a slightly chubby face. The neck was adorned with a thick shackle. But that wasn’t my only concern. This human’s belly was also swollen. Was it really her? Was my Penny pregnant?
As if in answer to my silent questions, she opened her eyes. I was so happy to see her that I barely noticed her vacant expression. I slithered over in a rush and was hurt when she backed up toward the wall.
“Penny, it’s me,” I said.
“How do you know my name?” she asked.
“I’m Natalie.” I answered.
“Natalie?” she whispered. “Is that really you?”
“Yes,” I said, nodding ecstatically, “We need to get you out of here. They will be looking for me soon, and they will check here first.”
She pulled at the tether around her throat, and I looked at it helplessly.
“When they take this off, what do they use to unlock it?” I asked.
“They don’t take it off,” she answered.
In my rush to flee from my prison, I’d clenched my hand shut with the guard’s gift and forgotten to open it. I let my fingers fall away from the item in my hands and found that it was a sort of key. I couldn't believe my good luck. I slithered back over to Penny and pressed the key into the hole which immediately clicked open. She pulled the shackle from her neck and tossed it over to her sleeping mat.
There was a thick red ring where the shackle had been. The skin was swollen and inflamed, and there were scratch marks all around the scars as well as infected puncture wounds. I went to her and reached out to touch the sore, injured skin, but then I thought better of it. I didn’t want to frighten her or make the infections work.