by Ivy Jordan
“I could come.”
“If you want to, I guess, but it won’t be anything you’re interested in.”
“No, you’re probably right.”
“But I don’t like you missing out on all this. It’s a big part of my life. I want to stop by after. Does that sound okay?”
“Of course.”
“Good.” He kissed me and wrapped his arm around me so we could fall asleep. My bed felt empty when he was gone. When he was there, I felt fulfilled. It was as simple as that. We belonged there together.
Chapter Thirty
Channing
Three hundred grapevines and my hands were limp. Now my calves were burning, ready to give out, and I was only through halfway through the 32 laps the coach had ordered us to take. I wasn’t even sure I could make it, but I kept going. It was worth it, knowing that on Sunday night I’d walk up to Ava’s apartment and tell her that my dreams had come true.
The field didn’t matter, the game didn’t matter, and neither did any of the players. All I cared about was seeing her smile when I told her. Her smile kept me running down the track, even when my legs were ready to give out, and it kept my heart from pounding out of my chest.
When I closed my eyes, I saw her laying naked beside me on the bed, while we talked about the future. I’d never been one to look ahead. There was no hope for improvement in my life, but she changed that. She made me wish for tomorrow, and for that, I’d be forever grateful.
My feet were smacking against the pavement, and I heard the sound of somebody overtaking me, but I didn’t care. My eyes were closed, and I could still see her. She was standing in the doorframe, wearing her lace nightie now.
It really touched me when I saw that painting. It meant even more than she knew. It wasn’t about the house, or what things would be like for us in the future. She was planning for our future, and our house, and I was an integral part of those plans. It was like Mike said: this was a religious experience.
I was getting further and further along the track now. This was my 21st lap, and I was already starting to get behind. I decided to pick up the pace, tense my arms, and run as fast as I could. The other players seemed disappointed as I passed them by.
When I finally finished my laps, I hunched over on the side of the track, ready to hurl while I struggled to catch my breath. The other players were just starting to make it to the finish line, and the coach was calling out their times, but I wasn’t paying attention. My lungs were burning, and my stomach was rising and falling, making it look like the ground was moving with it.
“Barker!”
I shot up and turned around. The coach was behind me, and everyone else was gone. “Yes, Coach.”
“Go clean your nasty ass and get down to my office.” He turned around and started walking back into the locker room.
I was too tired to move but too restless to stand still, so I did as I was told and hopped into the shower. I wasn’t sure what he wanted. I didn’t care. I was still gone, laying in Ava’s room, and my cock was starting to get hard.
My fingers slipped over it easily, and I rested my hand against the other wall to brace myself. I remembered the first night when I was with her, how apprehensive she was when I started to eat her out, and how beautiful it was when she finally came.
She was the first virgin I’d ever been with. I never thought that sex could be such a powerful experience, and it just kept getting better, more profound as we grew closer. I wondered how she felt, if it was different for a woman when they started to get close to somebody.
Did she like it when I looked her in the eye while I licked her clit? Did she feel the same exhilaration I felt when I pushed my cock through her? What about the rush I got when I saw her naked chest?
My cock was burning bliss, pulsing with the energy, and the water, pouring down my chest, over my pecs, and down my stomach. I could feel the pressure building.
She was so innocent, so pure. I loved the idea of tainting her, showing her something she never thought possible. That first time, that was powerful, some of the best sex I ever had. It could get better with time.
We were going to be together.
That thought hit, and I hunched over, spewing a white stream down into the drain. I had to stop and catch my breath. We really were going to be together. She wanted me; I wanted her. I didn’t think I’d ever get over that.
“Barker!”
I jumped. “Yes, Coach.”
“Quit jacking off and get in here.”
“Yes, Coach.” I turned off the water, toweled off, and slipped into my clothes as fast as I could. The coach was waiting in his office with half a bottle of whiskey sitting on his desk and a face so red it looked like he’d been drinking a week straight. I could smell it seeping out of his pores when I sat down.
He reached down into his desk and pulled out two shot glasses. Without even asking, he poured us both shots and pushed one across the desk. The amber liquid spilled out over the top when he did. I stared at it.
“Take it.”
“But, Coach…”
“Just fucking take it,” he interrupted. “You earned it.”
I shrugged, downed the whole thing, and winced. “That’s not going to help things any,” I said.
“Then take another.”
“I’m fine. What I mean is, I have to get to class soon.”
“Ah, who gives a flying fuck about that? You’ve been slaving your little ass off for far too long. Why don’t you take a day off, huh?”
“I’m doing well.”
“You are, and you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. This school hasn’t been in the top 10 since they made the dang list. You know that? I’ve got parents coming in here trying to bribe me to get their little shits onto the team. The administrators are sucking my cock asking me what the department needs. Heck, they doubled my income. Far as I’m concerned, you can have the whole bottle.” He reached into his desk and pulled out a fifth of vodka. “I got more.”
“Thank you, Coach.”
“Hey, it’s the least I can do.” He pushed the bottle across the table. “You’re gonna win.”
“I know.” But it wouldn’t mean anything. She wouldn’t be there.
“Then why are you acting like a fucking pussy? You’ve got half the team jumping out of their skin, and those idiots ain’t even gonna make it on the field. You are the star player, and you’re acting like it’s a funeral.”
“Sorry, Coach.”
“What are you apologizing to me for? You’re the one that is selling yourself short. You can have all the goddamned money in the world, as many bitches as you can screw, and it doesn't mean nothing unless you’re happy.”
I nodded my head. “I know.”
He shook his head, dove forward, and snatched the bottle away. “You don’t deserve it.”
“What?”
“There are men twice as strong as you, working their whole lives to get where you’re at right now, and you don’t give a shit.”
“Sorry, Coach,” I started to get up.
“Sit down,” he pointed a sharp finger at the chair.
“Coach, I gotta go to class.”
“You think I care? You listen to me. If you don’t want that trophy, don’t you dare take it. Hand it to somebody who cares. Now get out of my office.”
“Yes, Coach.” When I stood up and turned around, half the team was standing by the lockers staring at me.
“What?” I walked out.
“What?” Sam laughed. “You’re acting funny, man.”
“So?”
“So, we’re tired of the shit,” Jake said. “It’s time for you to man up and enjoy yourself the way you should be.”
“Yeah, what’s wrong with you?”
“I don’t know. Too much studying, I guess.”
“That’s why the Alphas are throwing you a party tonight,” Sam said. “You need to get out and celebrate.”
“I don’t know, I—”
/> “You’re coming.” Mike stormed up from behind a row of lockers. He got in my face, pointed a finger at my chest, and said, “And you’re gonna like it.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “I’ll go.”
“Fuck yeah,” the group erupted.
When they finally dispersed, I went back to my locker to pull out my things. Mike was sitting on the bench in between putting on his shoes. “What’s your problem?” he asked.
“I don’t know.”
He looked around, then shot up and ran between the rows to make sure nobody was looking, then came back. “It’s her, isn’t it? You two having trouble, because if you are, you better dip before it gets bad. You draw that shit out and it’ll be a nightmare. You got it?”
“We’re not having trouble.”
“Then what is it? You and I have been dreaming about this for years. You could get signed. So could I.”
“You’re just worried because you think I might mess up.”
“So what? This is the NFL we’re talking about. You know they ran a segment on us on ESPN. They’re talking about bringing us in for interviews.”
“I don’t care.”
“And why the fuck not?” He put his hands on his hips and stared me down.
“Because she won’t be a part of it. She hates football. She knows nothing about it.”
“Bring her to the games. She’ll get into it.”
“No, she won’t. She’d just be sitting on the sidelines.”
“So what? You’ll be making cash.”
“But I want her to really feel the excitement, and she can’t do that if she can’t get into it.”
“She’s just got to be a part of the life. You know there are plenty of people that don’t get into football until they go to a game. Once she sees the pretty lights, she won’t care.”
“That’s not…” I sighed.
“Listen, I hear you. You’re worried, but once she gets into the life, she won’t care. Use this as an opportunity.”
“How?”
“Take her to the party. Let everyone else see her, so you don’t have to worry about keeping her a secret.”
“I could do that, but I don’t know that she’ll get into it.”
He shrugged. “She might not, maybe she’ll hate it, but at least you’ll be out in the open, and you can put this secrecy behind you.”
“Alright, I think it’s a good idea. Thank you, Mike.”
“No problem, man.”
When he walked out, I opened my locker and grabbed my bag. Ava was sitting in the courtyard with another girl when I walked out. That must’ve been Nicole. When she saw me, I waved. her eyes went wide, and she went running in the other direction.
“You’re going to give her a heart attack.” I sat down next to Ava.
“I know CPR.”
“How are you?” she asked.
“I’m tired, as you can probably tell.”
“You look like you’ve been laying out in the sun all day.”
“Ugh,” I groaned. “My brain is boiling. You know, people are really starting to come down on me.”
“Why?”
“It’s the football. They say I’m not enthusiastic enough.”
“I’m surprised myself.”
“My head’s just not there. I keep thinking about you. That’s what matters right now, and they don’t get that. They’re all asking questions, and it’s getting to be a hassle.”
“Tell them off.”
“I want to, but I’m basically top dog. It wouldn’t be right if I did, and they’re threatening to throw me a party tomorrow.”
“That’s a terrible threat.”
“It is. I don’t want to go, honestly. I have four chapters to read in three days, and I haven’t even gone over my notes for physics.”
“Then stay home.”
“There’d be a mutiny. Can you come with me? I don’t want to go alone.”
“I want to.” She gave me a half-smile.
“You have to study.”
She nodded her head. “Sunday’s our night.”
“Okay,” I stood up. “I have to get to class.”
“I’ll see you soon.” She got up to give me a hug before I walked back into the building to go to class.
I didn’t see our two worlds intersecting. She was never going to have an interest in football, but maybe she could join in the excitement. She cared about me and whether or not I was happy. Maybe that would be enough.
Chapter Thirty-One
Ava
Today was a bed-office day. I only had the one class, western civ, and I’d already skimmed most of the textbook by that point. There was no real need to spend time on it. The Tudors weren’t going anywhere, so I pulled my old coffee maker out of the sink and filled it up with water. Then I added a scoop of coffee and turned on some music.
I wanted something light, no lyrics, just simply harmony. I chose a female new age artist and put some incense on to fill up the house with the smell of patchouli. It melded with scent of the coffee and sent me reeling.
I was already starting to get hungry, but I still hadn’t set up my office, and I’d yet to crack open a single book. The smell brought me back into the kitchen, and before I knew it, I was microwaving a pizza, trying to match the pitch of the vocalist’s voice.
It wasn’t working, and I was just procrastinating. I knew that I had to stay home and study, but Channing was out there. He wanted to be with me, and every single minute that I was away from him felt like a minute lost. I couldn’t fully cherish the moment unless I was with him.
I felt ridiculous, like a failing high school freshman that just figured out that he had to do homework. The microwave couldn’t finish fast enough. Now I had to figure out how to tear into the greasy dish while I set up my office. I ended up scrambling around with a plate balanced on one hand while I dragged my bag closer to the bed and pulled my books out.
I sat down, opened my book, and realized that there was a pot full of coffee in the kitchen. I couldn’t study without that, so I stood up and walked back into the kitchen to pour myself a cup. I couldn’t stop this. I had to stay home tonight. There was no way around it. If I went out, I’d be gone until 6 in the morning, and I had to study.
I took my coffee back to my room and took a sip before I laid down. It was thick and bitter. God, I needed creamer now, and sugar. Now the incense was burning out, and I missed the scent, so I put another one on and looked around to make sure that I couldn’t distract myself with before I finally sat down.
I didn’t fully understand what we were doing in class. Just the idea of calculus made my head hurt. It was just a means to an end, but I still had to figure it out, and there was no way I could do that now. I was thinking about Channing.
I decided to turn my light off and keep my phone next to the book so I could read it. It was a diversion tactic that I started using when my mother was bringing home men after work and I needed to study. If I couldn’t see anything other than my book, I wouldn’t focus on anything else.
I moved through the first page slowly. The first paragraph was hardest. I could still smell him in my room, like sweat and rain. It got so bad that I had to stop, close my eyes, and take a few breaths to steady myself. He wasn’t there. He could be. I could have been with him, but I wasn’t.
I had to get back to work. If I didn’t, I was going to end up struggling the rest of the week. Finals were coming. This wasn’t the time to have personal problems. It didn’t matter anyway. Channing knew why I couldn’t come to the party, and he understood.
Still, when I laid back and saw him looking into my eyes, I couldn’t help but think about what it would be like to—I couldn’t do this. I was fucking up royally, and if I didn’t get my head back in that book, I was seriously going to regret it.
I started back on the second paragraph and moved onto the third. The ideas were starting to click in my brain now, so I pulled out my notebook and started writing down everything that I cou
ld. It was mostly theory, an abstract idea broken into a million different mind-numbing segments, but at least it was working, and I was starting to move past the first page.
Progress. Perfection. Nothing else mattered, not right now. Channing would be here soon, and there was no reason to worry about being there for him. If he was disappointed about it, he would’ve let me know.
On to the next paragraph, more theory, more notes. The sound of my pen moving against the paper was satisfying, almost intoxicating. I was moving along. The second page moved by quickly, and then the third. There were 20 pages in the chapter, and reading was only a small part of the work, but I was getting there, and I was actually making good time.
Just a few more paragraphs and I could move onto the serious problems. Something buzzed to my right, but that didn’t matter. I had to study. I couldn’t think about Channing. It buzzed again, and my hand shot out to my nightstand to grab my phone.
“Hello?”
“Ava, what are you doing?”
“Go—I thought you were Channing. What do you want, Nicole?”
“I’ll see you in a second.” She hung up, and I dashed to my closet. I couldn’t let her see me in my stained nightshirt, and just like I thought, she was at the door before I knew it. She must’ve called when she walked into the hall. I slipped a pair of pants on and found a clean T-shirt. Then I ran up to the door, put on the chain, and cracked it.
“Why are you here?”
She reached through the door to hand me a cup of coffee.
“No, I already have coffee.”
“Oh, come on, Ava. You can’t do this to him. Everyone is downstairs cheering Channing on. He’s about to have the biggest moment of his entire life, and you’re holed up in your apartment.”
I closed the door and walked back into my room.
“Come on, Ava,” she called through the door.
I sighed and walked back to open the door all the way. She was holding a duffel bag.
“What is that?” I pointed down at the bag.
“You’ll have to let me in so I can show you.”