by Darcy Daniel
Her hands dipped into the waistband of his briefs and she pulled them out and down, releasing him from the confines of the fabric. He tensed, forcing himself to remain in control and concentrate on untangling himself from the clothing at his feet.
And then they were finally, wonderfully, completely naked.
* * *
Cole held her lovingly, delicately, like she might break. As he kissed her and ran his hands so maddeningly along her spine, their naked bodies brushed against each other, sending a thrill coursing through her middle.
The thought occurred to her that maybe she should be touching and kissing him everywhere at once, but in that moment, such a fevered pace didn’t seem right.
The whole atmosphere was charged with something deeper than lust or passion. It had never been this way for her before. This unhurried, deliberate connection between them was so removed from the frantic groping she’d experienced with other men.
This, she knew, was something saturated with meaning. And Cole knew it too. Without hearing him say a word, she could tell he was just as affected. It seemed like he knew exactly what she was thinking: that they had an eternity ahead of them for passion and exploration, but only one chance at making love for the first time.
That didn’t stop the heaviness between her legs from insisting on release, and by the feel of his erection, he couldn’t maintain control much longer.
Just as the thought entered her head, he scooped her into his arms, never breaking their kiss, and carried her to the bed.
When he laid her down, he moved over her and she parted her legs for him, felt him slide against her slick opening as he settled on top of her. The tip of him was right there, and he eased forward just enough to hold himself in place. She quivered, anticipating his entry, but he stilled, held back.
Raising his head from her mouth, he just held her, his arms cradling her sides, his hands cupping her shoulders. His nose nuzzled against hers and slipped to the other side, his lips close, but not quite touching. She whimpered in frustration, angled her face to gain contact, but he pulled away just enough to avoid it.
That’s when she noticed his eyes. In the dim light cast by the bedside lamp, she swore he was looking right into her. His eyes flicked from side to side and he nuzzled her nose again, made her think he was going to kiss her, then pulled away.
He was teasing her. And then she knew that, even before their bodies were joined, right in this moment, he was truly making love to her.
As her heart soared, she couldn’t keep the smile from parting her lips.
And he smiled in return.
Her breath caught in her throat, but before she had time to process what had just happened, his mouth swept down on hers and he began to push into her slowly, but very deliberately.
This time her breath caught for an entirely different reason. The feel of him naked within her was something she’d never experienced before. The thought of sex without contraception had never entered her mind, but in that moment she suddenly knew what all the fuss was about. This was how it should be when two people made love. No barriers, nothing but each other. It felt so different, so right, that already her tight coil of control was about to snap.
He groaned into her mouth, his whole body vibrating with the sound. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she tilted her pelvis up to meet him and drew him in deeper.
She trembled with the effort to stay in control, but when he began to move his hips, when she felt him slide within her, she tipped over the edge, dug her fingers into his flesh and writhed beneath him as she choked out a cry against his lips. And as her muscles squeezed him, he grew even harder. He withdrew slightly, then buried himself deep, his breath exploding as he pulsed within her.
* * *
Just before midday, they managed to drag themselves out of bed and were pleased to discover a fridge full of leftovers from the barbecue.
Anthea made Cole sit at the table while she removed containers and plates of food from the fridge. As she moved about, he remembered the look on her face last night. His sight had returned just as he’d prepared to enter her, long enough for him to see the completely unguarded love in her eyes. The mere thought of it made his heart pound.
When she was done setting the table, she sat on his lap and wriggled about, knocking plates and containers against each other. When she settled, cool metal touched his lower lip. Surprised, he jerked away. “What’re you doing?”
“Feeding you.”
“I don’t know…” He never ate anything unless he knew what it was.
“I’d never do anything to hurt you. You can trust me.”
Even though she hadn’t told him the truth about her true identity, he trusted her completely. He gave a little nod, and waited.
As she fed him delicious morsels from every dish, he found the experience erotic and tantalizing. Having no idea what she’d put in his mouth next, every taste and texture was a surprise.
When she fed him a spoonful of potato salad, her mouth swept over his and her tongue licked the mayonnaise from the corners of his lips. He groaned, pulled her against his erection and wondered if there would ever be a time when this insatiable need to be inside her would end. He hoped not.
To his disappointment, she laughed and climbed off.
“You need to give me some recovery time.”
He stood, reached for her. “I hurt you?”
She tenderly touched his cheek. “I’m just a little sore. It’s been a while since…”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize—”
“Don’t be sorry. It’s a good kind of sore. I like it.”
He didn’t understand. “You like it?”
“It’s a reminder of what we did—over and over—of what we’ll do again…soon.”
He grinned, pulled her into his arms, held her. “You’re an unusual, wonderful woman.”
She tightened her grip around his waist and laid her head on his chest. Cole loved these moments of pure affection just as much as he loved the moments of intimacy. Resting his cheek on top of her head, he gently rocked her.
He wanted so much right then to tell her he loved her. The words wanted to tumble from his tongue of their own accord, but he couldn’t say that, he wouldn’t. Not until he told her the truth, or she told him. Either way, when he told her he loved her, he’d make sure he was telling Anthea Cane.
Instead, he murmured, “How can it feel so good to just hold someone?”
Her hands bunch into his T-shirt. “Not just anyone… I hope?”
He chuckled. For someone with such an ego-driven career, she was full of insecurities. “No. Not just anyone,” he reassured her, and was rewarded by her arms tightening around him even more.
They stood like that for a while and he knew if he didn’t go and do something else, they’d end up in bed again. And she needed a rest. He pulled away a little, kissed her forehead.
“I’d better get some work done,” he said.
“Okay. I’ll take a shower, then go and get Meg.”
As he backed away, he trailed a hand along her arm and found her hand. Just as her fingers were about to slip from his, he tightened his grip, pulled her against him, cupped her face and gave her one hell of a kiss.
After reluctantly leaving her, he headed to the shed, found his pruning knife and made his way into the young paulownia plantation on the other side of the driveway.
While he cut small suckers from the lower part of the trunks, he hummed, “Hello.” As he replayed last night in his mind, he was glad he’d listened to those romance books. They were worth their weight in gold. Because of what he learned from them, he’d been able to make the night as special for Anthea as it had been for him. Without that knowledge, he imagined he would have been a bumbling, awkward fool.
Then his heart s
ank. He had to tell her the truth. He’d promised himself he’d do it before he made love with her, and he hadn’t. Shame flooded through him.
When she returned with Meg, he told himself, he’d tell her. In the meantime, he just had to figure out how.
Chapter Seventeen
After a shower, Anthea placed a scarf over her hair, found her purse and retrieved her sunglasses. Just as she slung her purse over her shoulder, she froze.
Outside, she heard the distinct sound of an engine approaching, the crunch of gravel beneath tires. Damn. She couldn’t let anyone see her. She wasn’t dressed as Cole’s farmhand.
Taking a slight risk, she hurried into the living room, peered through the window and sighed with relief as Karin’s SUV pulled to a stop in front of the house.
When she stepped onto the veranda, Karin opened the car’s rear door. Meg jumped out.
“Meg!” she yelled, surprised at the excitement in her own voice.
As Meg bounded up the steps, Anthea crouched, laughing as the dog licked her face with enthusiasm. A few short weeks ago, she barely wanted to touch this dog, let alone be swamped by affectionate licks. Giving Meg a fervent pat, she rose to greet Karin, who climbed the steps to meet her.
“I was just on my way to get her.”
“I had to drop by anyway,” Karin said as she fished in her purse and produced Anthea’s battered copy of The Farmer’s Wife. “I rescued it last night and totally forgot I’d put it in my bag until this morning.”
Anthea took the book from her. “Thanks. That was nice of you. For bringing Meg with you as well.”
“No problem. I know how important that book is to you.”
“You remember?” Anthea asked, surprised Karin still had at least one good memory of their time together as kids.
Karin smiled and nodded. Anthea noted that her face looked softer, friendlier today.
“I remember everything, Anth. All of it…right up to the end. I so wish you never had to go through that.”
Anthea swallowed over the sudden lump in her throat. “Yeah, me too.”
“I’ve been wanting to tell you, but I wasn’t sure how to bring it up. Your mum, she was the reason I became a doctor.” She took a breath, and the words seemed to rush out of her. “I spent just as much time at your house as you did at mine. It was like a second home, she was like a second mother. And when she got sick… well, I wanted to fix her so badly, I wanted her to be okay. I never forgot that feeling of wanting to help, wanting to make her better. If I hadn’t known her, I have no idea where I would be, what I would be. She gave me purpose.”
Unable to help herself, Anthea took two steps toward Karin and hugged her. This time, Karin returned her hug. “Thank you,” she said as tears spilled from her eyes. “That means a lot.”
When they finally pulled apart, they both wiped their tears away and chuckled with mutual relief.
“I’m so glad you came out,” Anthea finally managed to say. “I wanted to tell you that I’ll definitely make an appearance at the school fundraiser. If you could let the event coordinator know, that would be great.”
“Of course. But are you sure?”
Anthea crossed her heart the way they used to do when they were kids. “I promise.”
Karin beamed, then glanced about nervously, as if she didn’t know what to say next.
“So,” she finally said. “I didn’t see you at the barbie last night.”
“No.”
Karin cocked her head, as if waiting for more information, like she knew there was something going on between Anthea and Cole. But how could she know that? Unless Cole had told her last night at the barbecue.
Before she could think of anything to say, Karin said, “Well, I’d better get home to Robert and Adele.” She turned away and took a few steps.
“Karin? Is there any chance…that Cole will ever see again?”
Karin stopped and faced her, smiled slightly. “I can’t discuss a patient’s condition.”
Okay, Anthea thought, time to lay the cards on the table and risk being rejected again. “But you can talk to a friend, can’t you?”
There was that spark again, but along with it, Karin’s shoulders slumped.
“I wish I could, but—”
“He told me how it happened,” she blurted. Maybe she shouldn’t have, but isn’t that what friends did? Didn’t they share the most intimate things with each other? The things closest to their hearts?
Karin’s mouth dropped open in utter surprise. “He what?”
“He told me everything.” When Karin continued to stare, Anthea wondered why it seemed like such a big revelation. “Everyone around here knows, don’t they?”
Karin shook her head, moved closer.
“Only from the local paper when it all happened. And rumors. But Cole has never, ever spoken about that night. Not to anyone.”
Now she was the one to be surprised. “Not even you?”
“No one. When it first happened his grandparents tried to get him to talk to a psychiatrist, but he simply refused. I’ve been at him to try again, but he just won’t do it.”
Anthea felt her heart beat faster. He’d shared something with her that he’d never felt comfortable sharing with anyone else.
“He must trust you,” Karin said.
As the smile on her face bloomed, a rush of heat dashed to her cheeks. She couldn’t keep the excitement to herself a minute longer. “After last night, I’m pretty sure he does.”
Karin’s eyes widened, and to Anthea’s relief, she looked warm, happy. “You two…?”
She nodded and clasped her hands in front of her to keep from rushing at Karin and hugging her again. Then Karin sighed with relief. Which confused her. Why would Karin be relieved that she’d developed a relationship with Cole?
“So he finally told you,” Karin said.
Anthea blinked. Karin wasn’t making any sense. “Didn’t we just discuss the fact that he told me—”
“I’m so glad his little plan went off the rails. We all are.”
Karin had her totally confused. What on earth was she talking about? “Plan?”
“You know, getting even with you for the hell you put him through at school.”
“What’re you—” And then it hit her like a sledgehammer to the chest. “He knows?”
Karin’s eyes grew wider as her smile faded to a look of absolute horror.
“You just said he told you.”
“About what happened to him!” Anthea yelled. “Not that he knows who I am!”
Karin hung her head in shame.
He knows, she thought as the implications crashed down on her. He knows who I am and… “How long? How long has he known?”
“The whole time,” Karin admitted sheepishly.
It was too much to comprehend. Everything she believed about the time they’d spent together was false. He’d tricked her, let her think he believed her own lie so he could what, get back at her for something she did twenty years ago? It didn’t make sense, but at the same time it made perfect sense. He’d even said it himself. Why would he let a perfect stranger into his home? Especially Cole, a man who trusted no one but the people he knew. Oh God.
“And you knew?” she asked.
Karin gave her the faintest nod, but couldn’t meet her eyes.
“You knew what he was going to do, and you said nothing?”
Finally Karin raised her face. She swallowed, deep regret in her eyes. “Yes, but…”
Anthea hadn’t realized she was crying until a tear tickled her cheek. “So last night was the ultimate payback.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement of fact. Cole Daniel seduced her so he could break her heart.
“Cole wouldn’t do that. He’d never hurt—”
Unable to listen to any more lies, Anthea whirled around, flew into the house and slammed the door so hard it sounded like a gunshot.
* * *
From deep in the paulownia plantation, Cole checked his watch. He’d been at this for over two hours and was sure Anthea must have returned from collecting Meg. Any excuse to be in her presence again, he thought, and as he started to smile, he remembered the promise he’d made himself.
It was time to tell her the truth.
With slow footsteps, he made his way to the house, half eager to be with her again, half dreading what might happen when he told her.
Meg greeted him on the veranda and he gave her an extra long pat, knowing full well he was delaying the inevitable. She’d forgive him, right? He knew by the look in her eyes last night that she had the same feelings for him as he did for her, so maybe she’d be a little angry, but it wouldn’t last long.
Finally, he straightened and headed into the kitchen. Sensing he was alone, he called, “Hey?” He cringed at the sound of the word. What he really wanted to do was call her name. Not Anne. Anthea.
He listened, but received no response. “Hey? Where are you?” Still nothing.
Then a thump came from the spare room.
He left the kitchen and wandered along the short hall. When he heard her footsteps pound across the floor in the spare room, he stopped in the doorway.
“Didn’t you hear me calling?” he asked. When she didn’t reply, he realized something was wrong. He moved further into the room, wishing like hell he could see her. “What’s going on? Why won’t you answer me?”
The closet door slammed, startling him. Then silence. She was staring at him.
“The question is,” she said in a strained voice, “why didn’t you call my name?”
He froze like a frightened rabbit caught in the oncoming headlights of a semitrailer.
“What is it, Cole? What’s my name?”
Mortified, he let his shoulders slump. “I wanted to tell you, but everything happened so fast. It was so…unexpected.”