by Darcy Daniel
In the cool, air-conditioned room, sweat formed under his arms. His tongue stuck to the roof of his dry mouth, and he had to swallow several times before he could speak.
“How would I know?” he finally snapped.
“You must have some idea from touching your face.”
“I don’t do that.”
Dr. Collins remained silent for a long moment before he said, “You’ve never explored your own features?”
“What for?” Cole almost yelled. “This is stupid. How I look’s got nothing to do with anything. Are we done yet?”
“No, Cole. We’re not,” Dr. Collins said, his tone firm yet kind. “Let me ask you something else then. How do you feel? Is your heart racing?”
Cole took a deep breath. “Yeah.”
“Are you perspiring?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re defensive.”
“Yeah.” What the hell was he getting at?
“And you want to leave.”
“Yeah.”
“You do realize this is the first time you’ve had that reaction during a session.”
“So?”
“So…it means we’re onto something. Do you really want to walk away when you might be on the verge of a breakthrough?”
This wasn’t making any sense. “What the hell does my father’s appearance have to do with me?”
“Cole,” Dr. Collins said gently, “you’re shaking.”
Breath rushed from his mouth as he realized the doctor was right. Every muscle in his body trembled. What was happening?
“Cole, I want you to do something. I want you to touch your nose.”
He didn’t want to. His hands fisted in on themselves so hard he could feel his short, blunt nails dig into his palms.
“Touch your nose, Cole. And describe it to me.”
He couldn’t comprehend why such a simple act was so difficult, or why it seemed so important, but he knew it was. His whole body told him so.
Very slowly, he uncurled his right fist and raised his hand to his face. His fingers shook as they made contact with his nose. He increased the pressure slightly, and explored.
“What do you feel?” Dr. Collins asked.
“It’s straight.”
“Good. What about your lips?”
Cole ran his fingers over his lower lip, then his upper lip. “They’re…full, I guess.”
“Okay. What about your upper arms?”
This still didn’t make any sense, but the shaking diminished as his muscles relaxed. Even his heart slowed. So he did what the doctor asked and explored his upper arm.
“Would you say they’re the arms of a skinny man, or a well-built man?” Dr. Collins prodded.
And that’s when it hit him. He drew in a sharp breath, and let it out in one long exhale.
“You understand?” Dr. Collins asked.
Cole nodded. He understood.
“You’re nothing like your father, Cole. On the inside, or the outside.”
Relief swept through him like a tidal wave as tears flowed over his face. “I was so afraid…that I looked like that monster. How could I not know that until now?”
“But you did know. Deep down, that’s what’s keeping you blind and, in your mind, safe. You’d convinced yourself it was better not to know the truth, just in case your worst fear was realized. But there’s nothing to fear, Cole. You’re safe. You’ll never have to see his face again.”
That night, while lying in bed, wondering how he’d hidden the truth from himself so well, shapes and shadows formed in the room.
He sat up, looked toward the window and shut his eyes against the glare of the streetlights outside. Averting his face, he slowly opened them again. The room grew sharper by the second.
Unable to help himself, he got out of bed and moved cautiously toward the bathroom. He saw the bathroom door, saw his hand reaching for it, but when he tried to touch the door, his hand connected with nothing but air.
This was what Dr. Collins had warned him about. His eyes were playing tricks. He had no concept of depth perception.
Closing his eyes, he took two steps forward and found the doorknob. Keeping his eyes closed, he moved into the bathroom and took three strides to the sink. He wrapped his hands around the cool porcelain, raised his head and opened his eyes.
The streetlights provided enough illumination for him to see his own face in the mirror. And what he saw made him smile.
Staring at him was a younger version of his grandfather.
Chapter Twenty
A bundle of nerves, Anthea paced across Ethan’s living room.
“Relax,” Ethan said from the couch. “Why don’t you try and find something else to do?”
“Are you kidding? How can I concentrate on anything but—”
Ethan’s cell phone rang, vibrating in a little dance on the coffee table.
Anthea’s heart missed several beats as she watched him laze on the couch as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Just like him to pick this moment to rile her up.
“Answer it!”
Ethan gave her a cheeky grin and pressed the phone to his ear. “Ethan Cane.”
She waited, tried to gauge the expression on his face for a clue as to who might be on the other end of the line.
“Oh, she’s right here,” he said. “Why don’t you tell her yourself?”
He waved the phone at her and she took it with trembling fingers. “Hello?”
“I don’t know what you did in those three weeks, Miss Cane,” Jason Trent said. “But whatever it was, it worked. You’ve got the part.”
Her eyes locked with Ethan’s, and she mouthed a silent scream of delight. Calmly, she said, “I can’t thank you enough for giving me a chance, Mr. Trent.”
Unable to control herself, she jumped about the room until she lost her balance and flopped onto the couch beside Ethan.
“Well,” Jason said, “No one even came close to being right for the role except you. I’ll give you a call in a few days with contract details. Enjoy your evening, Miss Cane.”
She snapped the phone shut, launched herself at Ethan and hugged him hard.
“Never had a doubt,” he said.
Pulling away, she punched his arm playfully. “Liar.”
He grinned at her, shrugged. “Who would have thought you’d change so much in such a short time?”
She burst into tears.
“Hey, hey, hey. What’s wrong?” Ethan put an arm around her and patted her shoulder. “You should be ecstatic.”
Trying to regain control of herself, all too aware of how uncomfortable Ethan felt where tears were concerned, she said, “It’s not the same anymore.”
Ethan walked away and disappeared into the kitchen. How could she blame him? Who wanted to be around a blubbering mess who’d just discovered she had exactly what she wanted but couldn’t appreciate it? She was truly pathetic.
But a moment later Ethan returned with a newspaper in his hand.
“Karin sent me this. I didn’t want to show it to you when it arrived because I knew it’d just upset you. But listen to this.” He unfolded the newspaper and read from the front page. “When Anthea Cane returned to her hometown, she not only saved the life of a much-loved dog, but helped a blind man home after he was knocked down in the street—”
Anthea grabbed the newspaper, stared at it. It was Mayfield’s local gazette, dated the day after she left. And there she was, barefoot, wearing her faded red nightie, hair a mess as she knelt before Cole and held his hand in front of the vet clinic.
The headline read Homegrown Star a True Hero.
Stunned, she pulled her gaze away and stared at Ethan.
“Can’t buy publicity like th
at,” he said with a grin.
“I had no idea anyone took my photo.”
“So says your snazzy attire.”
She wanted to laugh, but found her throat constricting. Shaking her head, she said, “This is all wrong. I’m no hero.”
“You didn’t do what they claim?”
“I did…but so what? Anyone would have done the same. Just because I’m a celebrity, I get praised? It’s not right.”
“Come on, Anth. There’s nothing wrong with a little recognition. You should be celebrating.”
Her heart thundered and tears spiked her eyes as she ran her fingertips over the newspaper, over Cole’s face. “How can I when I can’t share it…with him?”
Ethan took both her shoulders in his hands and held her away a little.
“You’re going back there for the fundraiser in a few days. Go and see him.”
“But, Ethan… what he did… How can I forgive him?”
“When you discovered his plan, when you left, did he seem like he was gloating? Having a fun time at your expense?”
She frowned. “No, but—”
“No buts, Anth. All you have to do is hear him out. Only then can you decide whether or not to forgive him.”
“When did you get so smart?”
“I always have been, dummy. Just listen to him. You’re much better at it ever since you came back. You’re much better at everything.”
She looked at her brother and smiled.
That night, as she lay in bed thinking about Cole, about returning to Mayfield, she sat up with a start, switched on her light and reached for the Mayfield Gazette. Hadn’t Ethan told her that Karin had sent the paper? But why would she bother after the way things were left between them?
And then it hit her. Her picture had been taken because the locals knew who she was too. She hadn’t fooled anyone, even with her dark hair and lack of makeup, they’d known exactly who she was. They’d known all along. It all made sense; Tom’s amusement when he’d delivered the potatoes; Gail making her uncomfortable and blatantly flirting with Cole in front of her; Mike loudly announcing that Cole had bought wine for a special reason… and Karin.
Karin was the one who planted the idea in her head about using Cole’s farm for her research. Karin was the one who told her how to get around the fact that he’d never let her stay if he knew who she was.
Then there was the warmth and happiness on Karin’s face when she’d let her know that things between herself and Cole had become serious. And the relief when Karin had mistakenly thought Cole had told her the truth.
All of them had been in on it, but Karin had instigated the whole thing, no doubt going along with Cole’s payback plan in the hope that they would fall for each other. But Anthea had been so blinded by her own agenda, then by what she thought was Cole’s ultimate payback, she hadn’t seen any of it. She hadn’t seen that after all this time, after all the years of neglecting their friendship, Karin still wanted the best for her.
* * *
By the time Anthea reached Mayfield, she found herself stuck behind a large truck in a traffic jam. Smiling to herself, she felt happy that the small town managed to get such a huge turnout to raise money for the school.
As the truck inched forward, a large banner stretching across the main street came into view.
It read Mayfield Primary School Fundraiser—Special Appearance by Anthea Cane.
After parking and making her way into the school grounds as inconspicuously as possible, she disappeared into the swarms of people buying items from various stalls erected on the basketball courts.
Through a PA system, a woman announced, “Everyone, please make your way to the stage area on the oval.”
Anthea quickly headed that way, and found Linda Tanner, the event coordinator, encouraging the primary school children into their seats in the front rows as parents and guests began to fill the remaining seats.
Linda quickly greeted her and showed her where to wait. By the time Linda took the stage and tapped the microphone, the crowd had grown even larger.
“I’d like to thank everyone for coming out in such fantastic numbers,” Linda said. “This school is a vital part of our small community. The children of our residents deserve a school close to home without having to travel over an hour and a half to attend Redmond Primary School. The importance of this school can be proven by the success of one of its students, who has been kind enough to attend this event. Please welcome our very own hero, Anthea Cane!”
Huge applause erupted as Anthea raised her sunglasses, propped them on top of her head and climbed the few steps to the stage. She smiled and waved to the kids in the front rows as she waited for the crowd to quiet.
She stepped to the podium, tightening her grip on the flash cards. Glancing at the speech she’d written, she took a deep breath.
“Thank you for your warm welcome. I’m honored to be here today for this special occasion. Mayfield Primary was an important part of the first three years of my education, and I loved every minute I spent here.” She paused to take a breath. “The money raised today will help keep this school alive so many more students can enjoy a great education right here in their own town.”
Oh, boy. She was even boring herself. Hadn’t Linda just said the same thing? As she continued to drone on, she glanced up and spotted Karin in the audience.
“So I’d like to encourage you all to give generously, and—” She broke off, her gaze locked on her childhood best friend. As the locals began to murmur in confusion at the sudden silence, she dropped the flash cards, removed the microphone from its stand and stepped from behind the podium.
“You know, all that’s great, and I plan to make sure the school has enough funds to keep operating for many years to come, but—” The audience burst into applause. Anthea waited for the noise to die down. “But what’s really important is this town, this wonderful community. Mayfield taught me a lot of things in my early years, but the best lesson of all was that of friendship. Something I sadly forgot about when I moved away.” Carrying the microphone, she descended the steps.
“I stayed away from Mayfield for too long, telling myself I was too busy, that I had too many obligations to spare the time. But really, I was afraid of the memories that being here would bring up. You may not know this, but I lost my mum right before we moved away from Mayfield. I loved her so much, and the pain of losing her was so great, I told myself it was better to forget everything than endure my grief. But when I did return, I realized I was wrong. This town holds so many special memories of my mother—so how could that be bad? As I struggled with those thoughts, I was reminded of something else. Something important. I was reminded of just how precious friends are, of how a life without them is a hollow existence.”
As she walked toward Karin, she saw her friend’s husband clasp her hand and squeeze.
“My hero is a woman who has always been here for the town. What she does for this community is so important, but she’s more than your doctor. She’s a woman who has a heart big enough to forgive someone like me. A woman who knows what’s important in life, and who has taught me that lesson all over again. And I can’t thank you enough, Karin.”
The crowd shot to their feet, applauding as Karin, with tears in her eyes, rose and pulled Anthea into a warm hug.
* * *
When Anthea turned onto Cole’s road, her heart hammered as her hands gripped the wheel. This moment seemed far more important than the audition for The Farmer’s Wife. More important than her screen test, and her speech for the school. As she drew closer to his driveway, she gaped in astonishment and pulled the car off the road.
The Paulownias she’d helped plant were at least seven feet high. Everything had grown so fast. She felt proud to have created something she could actually touch. The urge to do just that was so gre
at, she stopped the car, cut the engine and climbed out. This time, she’d been sure to wear jeans and runners.
As she made her way into the field, she raised her hands and let the large heart-shaped leaves brush through her fingers. Then she stopped. Deep in the plantation, a small group of young trees shook and swayed.
Her heart leaped. Was he in this field, only yards from her?
She moved forward a few more steps, heard a bark and a moment later, Meg came bounding through the corridor of trees.
“Meg!” She sank to her knees in the dirt and let the dog lick her face as she rubbed her all over. After lapping up the affection, Meg rushed away, then stopped and looked over her shoulder, as if telling her to get a move on.
Who was she to argue? Her stomach fluttered with nerves as she followed. She parted the thick leaves and soon saw Cole ahead, his back to her as he snipped suckers off a Paulownia’s lower trunk. Meg sat at his side, tail wagging.
“Hey,” she said, and waited. He didn’t stop working, didn’t acknowledge her at all.
She smiled, remembering the first time she’d approached him, wanting directions. Hadn’t he said something about her being rude and barking at him? She moved closer, stopped a few feet away and tried again.
“I mean, excuse me, sir. I’m wondering if you could do me a favor?”
He snipped the last sucker off the tree, leaving a nice long trunk with a high canopy of leaves.
Without turning, he said, “Since you asked so politely, I might be able to. What is it?”
Her grin widened. If he was playing along, there was hope.
“Can you forgive me?” she asked.
She expected him to face her. Instead, he took a few steps away and started snipping suckers from the next Paulownia. She moved up behind him.
“For what?” he finally asked.
“For not hearing you out.”
“And?”
She crossed her arms over her stomach. “And nothing. If you think I’m going to apologize to you for lying about who I was, then you can forget it. I’m not sorry.”
“Yet that’s the very thing that started…this.”
“Good,” she shot back.