by Murray, Dean
"Killed anyone lately, Adri?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
I should have just ignored her.
"Eventually the cops are going to come up with evidence that Alec won't be able to suppress. When they do I'll be first in line to testify against you. Brandon was twice the man Alec is."
"Look, Britney, I'm sorry that we had that falling out. I'm sorry that you're all alone now, but you need to understand that Brandon never loved you. He never even really liked you. He was using you, and whatever might have happened to send him away doesn't matter. What really matters is that you've got another chance to do something with your life instead of just sitting here and pining after him."
It was a long shot. I had no real way to know for sure she was addicted to him, but Alec wouldn't have gone on and on about the Ja'tell bond if it hadn't been real, hadn't been dangerous. Not every human who got entangled with a shape shifter was going to end up like his mom, but none of us really came away completely unscathed.
Britney stared at me for a moment and then the hate melted away into something else. It was like she was five again and I'd just taken away her brand new kitten.
"I'm not pining. I'll have you know I've started dating a guy from Reno. He's varsity football and his parents are as rich as Alec's mom."
The words were too practiced. She wrapped her arms around herself even as she said them.
I opened my mouth to respond but she opened her book and turned away from me.
I spent the rest of the class pretending to read The Count of Monte Cristo. It was actually a pretty interesting story so far, but my mind was too full of thoughts of Alec and Britney, strife and Ja'tell bonds.
When the bell finally released us, it was a relief to go to Algebra. Mrs. Campbell ran us through a new concept in record time and then released us to work on our assignment. Jasmin hadn't ever changed out of the class after Brandon's pack had been eliminated. We still weren't as close as Rachel and I, or even Dom and I, but it'd been a definite peace offering.
When one of the aides brought a note from the office and Mrs. Campbell left, Jasmin scooted her desk right over so we could whisper.
"Was that a crazy fight last night or what?"
"I guess. I mean I still don't really know what's normal."
Jasmin seemed to consider what she could get away with telling me and then shrugged. "It varies from pack to pack, but Jack must have a death wish or something. Isaac could rip him in half without breaking a sweat. Once we got back to the house, Alec had to all but sit on Isaac to keep Jack and Sam both alive for another day."
"Things were still tense after the fight then?"
"Yeah. Alec and James forced Isaac out of the house to keep him out of Donovan's way. Then while Donovan was trying to sew Jess up, her dad showed up."
"Oh, poor Andrew."
I'd always liked Jess' dad. I hadn't had much to do with him, but every time our paths had crossed he'd been the epitome of good breeding.
Jasmin snorted. "Poor Andrew nothing. It's us you should be feeling sorry for. He completely freaked out."
Confined as Andrew was to the wheelchair that provided his only source of mobility, it seemed hard to believe he'd been able to cause Jasmin much in the way of problems. Some of my disbelief must have shown through.
"He's all messed up from what Agony did to him, but if he's angry enough not to notice the pain when the scar tissue pulls, he's still dangerous. He took one look at Jess bleeding away on the operating table and shifted. I barely had time to knock him out of the way. I tried to back him down with a display of power, but I'm not in Alec's class so it got ugly."
That last sentence had just the barest trace of resentment. Jasmin hated not having control of her destiny, hated that she had to take second place not just to Alec but also occasionally to Isaac and James too.
I waited expectantly. I could generally draw more information out of Jasmin if I was patient. It was probably another form of peace offering.
"You have no idea how hard it is to restrain someone when we're…furry. I had to just grab a hold of his neck and hope I could hold on tight enough to control him without going too far and killing him."
The picture of Andrew lying on the floor bleeding while his daughter was doing the same above him on the table sent chills through me.
"Everyone's okay now though?"
"More or less. Jess is going to make a full recovery and Dom got Alec to us pretty quickly. Alec was able to force Andrew back down into his normal shape. Good thing too. When Donovan checked the old man he found all kinds of internal bleeding. Apparently the scar tissue pulls on his organs when he gets out of control like that. He could actually bleed himself out internally if he kept ignoring the pain."
It all fit with the kind of craziness I'd seen out of the pack before, but it just didn't make sense. "Why would he attack you guys when you were busy helping save Jess? It doesn't make any sense!"
Jasmin shrugged again. "You have to remember that our beasts don't think the way you and I do. To us it's ludicrous, but it's the same kind of thing that made Isaac attack James while Alec was helping calm Andrew down. By the time all was said and done last night everyone but Dom and Donovan were bleeding."
Jasmin slid her desk back to its normal place a split second before Mrs. Campbell came back through the door.
If there was one teacher you couldn't get away with talking during their class, it was her. I was halfway through another problem when Jasmin passed me her cellphone. There was a text from Alec on the screen.
Please let Adri know her mom is on a flight back to the U.S. She'll be home tomorrow.
Chapter 4
Isaac had left Mom's flight information when he came over that night to disconnect the nifty equipment that forwarded our land line to the cellphone Alec had given me. I tried to get Isaac to take the phone with him but he'd politely refused.
I'd made a mental note to keep the stupid thing hidden, finished up my homework, and gone to bed.
School the next day had been depressingly lonely. Rachel was the only member of the pack who hadn't skipped school and I didn't have any classes with her. We'd visited a little during lunch but with all of the people around I couldn't ask her any of the questions I really wanted to know.
She'd told me that everyone was okay, and moved on to the kind of meaningless small talk neither of us really enjoyed.
After lunch, I'd absently gone from class to class with my stomach getting steadily more and more queasy. I'd never really kept this kind of big secret from my mom, and I was a terrible liar. Under normal circumstances that would be bad enough, but if I couldn't keep her ignorant of everything that had happened over the last few weeks then I'd lose even what little bit of access I'd otherwise have to Alec.
I knew for a fact Alec loved me, but given the way he was closing me out, I was more than slightly worried that he'd talk himself into deciding that I'd be better off without him.
By the time school finally ended and I met up with Rachel in front of her yellow VW Bug, I was pretty subdued.
"Adri, it's not the end of the world, it's just your mom."
"Right, except that it's going to mean I'm even more disconnected from the pack. I've only been gone for two days and I'm already completely out of the loop."
"Yeah. Well, you're really not missing out on that much, just more posturing and dominance games."
"Is Alec okay?"
"Yeah, he's had something on his mind for a couple of days now, but I'm sure it will blow over soon. Alec's spent so many years freaking out about Brandon's pack it's like a reflex now. He probably feels odd if he's not worried about something."
"I guess. I just wish he'd talk to me. I feel like it's been forever since we just talked."
Rachel shrugged as she zipped around another curve. "Don't let it bother you too much; he really is crazy about you. Speaking of people being crazy about people, did Jasmin talk to you about Ben yesterday?"
"What a coward. She's still busted up about having to leave the dance before he showed up. If he showed up. He's been avoiding her again, which probably means he's back to using."
"Wait, Ben's an addict?"
"Whoops, I thought you knew. Don't judge him too harshly. He's had a rougher life than just about anyone else you'll ever meet. Abusive dad, suicidal mom, crap relatives, you name it."
I nodded. Maybe a year ago I would have been all snotty and said it shouldn't matter where you came from, you should still be able to stay clean, but lately I was a lot more conscious of just how little it could take to bring someone's world crashing down on them. I still mostly figured that kind of stuff was a choice, but it was hard to throw stones considering how much a wreck I'd been less than a month ago, and how far I still had to go.
"He's a good guy. He hates the crap but always falls back into it eventually." Rachel looked away from the road just long enough to make sure I was paying attention and then shrugged. "Anyways, you need to meet him so you can see for yourself. Not only that, I think Jasmin could use some help convincing him that she's for real."
"Really, she's told him she likes him and he's not falling all over her?"
"Not in so many words, but near enough. Like I said, he's had a rough life. He's not the most trusting guy you'll ever meet."
It was intriguing. I'd had a hard time believing it when Brandon had told me Ben wasn't interested in Jasmin. Once I realized what a jerk Brandon was I'd just kind of assumed he'd lied to me about that too. The concept of any guy not wanting gorgeous, perfect Jasmin strained the limits of reality.
"Okay, I'll keep an eye out for an opportunity to talk to him, but don't hold your breath. These days nobody besides you guys talks to me."
"I guess. I just had a feeling like you needed to be in the loop. Since Jasmin was too bashful to do it yesterday."
Her voice had taken on an odd tone, one that sounded strangely familiar. We pulled onto my dusty lane and I felt my heart race when I saw the Jeep parked on the concrete pad. Rachel pulled up behind Mom's car and shifted into park while I was still trying to decide where I'd heard that tone before.
Mom raced out of the house a split second later, opening the passenger's side door and hugging me before I'd even managed to get my seatbelt off.
"Adriana! I kept telling myself that you still had an hour and a half of tutoring left but I was just about ready to come get you anyways."
"Hi, Mom. This is my friend Rachel."
Mom and Rachel really hit it off. It was probably just because Mom was relieved that I had an actual, honest-to-goodness friend. They exchanged small talk about Mom's trip and the weather and then Rachel excused herself to go home and finish up some schoolwork.
I followed Mom into the house and helped make dinner while she told me all about the trip to Italy for the original job. They'd been shooting in a little town south of Rome that still had narrow, cobblestone streets. The way she described the restaurants, people and hills almost made me jealous.
As we finished eating, Mom's stories finally wound down. She described the last of the 'miracle' jobs that arrived in succession as each prior engagement came to an end, and then shrugged.
"So that about sums it up. What's been going on here while I've been gone?"
"The same old stuff. School, homework and more school."
"Come on, sweetie. You had to have done something besides that. What about that boy you liked? Brandon, was it?"
I'd spent the occasional hour or so since Alec had told me Mom was coming back wondering if she'd even remember that Brandon and I had broken up.
"He…he was a lot like you warned me he would be. When I wouldn't do the things he wanted, he broke up with me."
Mom leaned over and wrapped her arms around me. "Oh, sweetie. Are you…I mean did he hurt you?"
"No, I'm fine. He's old news."
"Are you sure?"
I mustered up a convincing smile. "I'm fine, really. He's ancient history, which is more than I can say for my homework, which is unfortunately due all too soon."
"Okay, Adri. You go up and work on that and I'll clean up down here."
I headed upstairs and even managed to keep my tears under control until I made it safely to my room.
It was stupid to cry and I knew it, but I couldn't stop myself. The kegger had happened weeks ago and Brandon hadn't even done anything to me. I didn't know if that was even it. It was more reasonable to think I was crying over the fact that Alec was keeping me at arm's length. I was tired of being so alone. Ever since Cindi and Dad had died I'd had no one.
I heard Mom coming up the stairs and pulled myself together enough to wish her good night and then it was just me.
I cried into my pillow for a little while before remembering the phone Alec had given me. Trembling fingers input a text.
I missed you today.
It felt like such a lame thing to say, simultaneously too revealing and not enough. I only had to wait a second before my phone vibrated in response.
I missed you too. What are you doing?
Wishing I could talk to you.
That's good news. Check your window.
I ran to the window and felt a smile break out when I saw Alec, in hybrid form, climbing up our light pole. He carefully reached over, sank his claws into the roof and then swung into my room. He shifted back so smoothly that his bare feet landed on my floor rather than the wicked talons that would have otherwise ruined my hardwood floor.
I wrapped my arms around Alec before he could evade me.
"It's so good to see you."
He rested his cheek on the top of my head and sighed. "It's good to see you again too. Would you think I was incredibly pathetic if I told you I'd headed over this way half an hour ago in the hopes that your mom's light would go out before yours did? I've been kind of worried that having her back would be a tough adjustment for you."
"No, I don't think it's pathetic. I think that's the most thoughtful thing anyone's done for me in a while."
Carefully holding me by the shoulders, Alec stepped back far enough that he could see the evidence of my crying jag. He had to have known as soon as he arrived. He'd probably been hoping if he gave me a few seconds to adjust that we could talk about it without me falling completely apart.
"Are you okay? I knew it would be hard to go back to living by your mom's rules but I didn't think there'd be tears involved."
The words and tone were both perfect. A double helping of concern and a touch of humor intended to defuse any awkwardness.
I hid my head against his chest as fresh tears broke free of my eyes. It was all I could do to mute the sobs but I had to. If Mom came in right now she'd freak out.
Alec picked me up and carried me over to my bed. Moving like I weighed nothing at all, he wrapped me in a sheet and then curled up next to me.
"It's okay. You're not alone anymore. You have the whole pack and I'll do everything I can to keep you safe."
It would have been the perfect opportunity to tell him exactly what was bothering me, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. He wasn't lying. He'd do everything he was able to protect me, to love me, but there was no guarantee it would be enough. More and more I was understanding that there were far too many things out of his control. He was bigger than life, bigger than me, and it felt like only a matter of time before he was pulled away from me despite all either of us could do.
In the end, I chose silence and he gently rocked me until I fell asleep.
Chapter 5
It was crazy, but after everything that had happened to me over the last few weeks, I'd almost expected Mom's trip to have changed her. I'd thought maybe I'd wake up to a home-cooked breakfast like Dad used to make. Instead the usual note had been waiting for me on the kitchen white board.
Gone to shoot a promising location I s
aw while prepping the pamphlet. I'll be home before you're back from tutoring. Love you.
--Mom
I still hadn't told Mom I'd quit the tutoring lab. It wasn't the kind of news designed to make a parent feel like everything was going the way it ought to be. I pushed the thought aside, grabbed a packet of string cheese to nibble on and headed outside.
Alec was waiting in my driveway, and his smile lit up my face in return.
"I thought maybe I'd have to catch the school bus."
"I've been thinking about you since I had to leave this morning. I was hoping that your mom would leave early today so I could drive you in to town."
Alec helped me into his car and then we were rolling down the lane.
"Alec…thank you. For last night I mean. I don't mean to be one of those needy, whiny girls. It's just…"
He turned the full force of his gaze on me and it was like my brain hiccupped. "You don't have to worry about anything. It's I who should be thanking you. I needed last night as much or more than you did. Thank you, Adriana Paige, for being who you are."
Now that I was caught up with the rest of the class in Algebra, life was easier, scholastically speaking. During biology Alec and I listened with one ear while we played a game of 'Would You Rather.'
Alec kept throwing curve balls in the game and somehow I ended up stuck in the Swiss Alps with a snowboard that was missing the back bindings and a price on my head.
Alec walked me to my next class and then time stuttered by until lunch. Rachel met Jasmin and me at our lockers.
"Alec asked me to let the two of you know he's not going to be around for lunch. He said he's sorry, but I think it's the perfect opportunity for us to have some quality girl talk."
Jasmin actually blushed and then the rest of the pack arrived and it was too late. As we grabbed our food and sat at our normal table I counted heads and realized we were down more than just Alec.