by Murray, Dean
Donovan cleared his throat and Jasmin nodded. "Right, not much time. Have you heard from Ben?"
"How did you know?"
"It was logical. He can't get to me and he trusts you. He's probably associated you with the high too."
"He's not good, Jas. I mean really not good. It looks like he's burning up from the inside out."
Jasmin opened her mouth, looked at Donovan out of the corner of her eye and then shrugged. "I can't do anything about that right now. Alec practically had to throw a hissy fit in order to get the two of us out here to pick up my car. I can't ask him to run those kinds of risks to get me out again. Did Ben seem like he was more or less holding it together? I mean, he wasn't going to go do anything stupid, was he?"
I did feel myself tear up as I recalled the pain in Ben's eyes. "I don't know. He was talking all crazy. He thinks you've addicted him and then hung him out to dry. He doesn't want to go through withdrawal multiple times."
Jasmin reached out and grabbed my arms, almost shaking me. "What exactly did he say?"
"You've got until about midnight tonight. You can either give him another dose or he's going to leave town."
Jasmin's grip tightened as she tried to keep herself under control.
"Jas, you're hurting me."
The words brought forth no response until Donovan reached forward and grabbed her wrist, gradually applying pressure until I could see his knuckles turn white. Jasmin turned on him with a hiss.
For a second I thought she was going to attack but he held his hands up non-threateningly and she visibly brought herself back under control.
"Thanks for letting me know, Adri. Donovan, I'll wait for you at the second to the last turnoff so that we come back together."
Donovan waited until Jasmin's car was backing down the lane before turning back to me. "I'm sorry about that. She's under quite a bit of stress right now."
"No, I understand. Thank you. You…took a risk pulling her off me."
Donovan dismissed the thanks with a wave. "Not such a big risk as you might think. I've helped raise her from the time she was very young. I am submissive to her, but still well-loved by and large."
There was a second where neither of us was quite sure what to say, and then Donovan took a deep breath.
"I'm afraid we really don't have much time. What did Alec's other advisor counsel?"
It took me a second to realize he was talking about Mallory. "She said he should give Agony whatever he wants. Alec needs time for his power to reemerge or to practice with it or whatever."
As Donovan's eyebrows twitched I realized I'd just seen him taken completely off guard for the first time in our acquaintance.
"You didn't know?"
"No, I did not. Alec is wise. No matter how well one bluffs, the task is impossible if those around you tell a different story with their actions. He must play this particular game very close to his chest."
"Is she right? Should Alec really sacrifice whatever it takes to survive Agony's visit?"
Donovan paused for thought. Out of all of the grownups in my life I could always count on him to tell me the truth.
"That is a hard thing. Agony is capable of asking for very dear sacrifices indeed, but I think the advice is correct. If Alec can survive the next few months and truly master his ability he will finally have the strength to put the old order back in place."
I came very close to not telling Donovan about the rest of my trip, but regardless of the risks to Oblivion, or even the risks to me, I couldn't withhold information Alec might need to keep the pack whole.
"I was stopped on the way back. A guy named Marco and Oblivion. They asked me where I'd been. Marco was going to beat it out of me, but Oblivion implied he was going to pull it from my mind."
Donovan's eyes flickered briefly to the fat lip and bruise Marco had left me, but gave no indication of the fear he must feel for the woman he loved.
"When he touched me though, I heard voices. They said if he stole memories it would leave holes. Then he showed me what happened the last time Agony was here. It was like I was there experiencing it for myself but trapped in his body."
Even eighteen hours, later recalling what I'd been shown was almost enough to make me sick. I reached back for the door, leaning against it while I tried to hold myself together.
"I saw the fighting, saw Agony hurt Mallory and kill Alec's dad. It was so terrible."
Donovan helped me over to the porch swing. "It was all a very long time ago. It was terrible, but it's done. Nothing you can do now will change what happened then."
I nodded and brought my breathing back under control. "When it was over he said to act scared and then I was back to myself. They let me go and I came home. I've been running through my memories ever since. I can't think of anything that's missing. I think he was just trying to help. Mallory's safe."
Donovan nodded. "There's never been any indication Oblivion could display memories as well as steal them. This bears some thought. If Oblivion were really ready to make a break from the official line of the Coun'hij it could represent a substantial shift in the balance of power."
After several seconds of silence Donovan shook himself. "Thank you for telling me."
I grabbed Donovan's arm before he could leave. "Do you really think Alec should sacrifice whatever is required in order to keep Agony happy? I saw you on that table. Agony did terrible things to you and never even blinked."
Donovan met my eyes steadily. "Master Alec needs to do whatever is required for him to come into his full power. More is at stake than you realize. My being strapped to that table again is a small price if it saves all of the others Agony would torture otherwise."
Chapter 20
Alec - Graves Manor, Sanctuary
I was in Donovan's office waiting for him when he and Jasmin got back. It was the one place we were virtually certain had remained locked up the entire time Agony had been here, but even so I didn't fully trust the belief we were safe there. The conversation I'd had with Shawn previously would have created waves between Agony and me if he'd heard it. If what Donovan now knew got out, members of the pack were going to die.
Donovan opened his mouth as if to talk as he came through the door, but I held up my hand. I turned on the white noise generator located next to his desk and then pulled out a sheaf of paper. Using my body and the top sheet of paper I blocked as many sight lines as I could just in case Agony's men had somehow planted some kind of camera in the room.
"The bug sniffers aren't finding anything, but I know Isaac's talked for years about creating a bug that only transmits intermittently maybe coupled with some kind of sensor that tells it when people are in the room."
"Understandable, sir. May I?"
Donovan's generally neat script was hurried and cramped.
A. was successful. M. thinks you should give Agony whatever is needed to survive yourself. We must buy time for your power to reemerge. O. fed A. memories of last visit here. Possibly an ally?
The situation was bleaker knowing that Mallory hadn't been any more able to come up with a brilliant solution than I'd been. I'd expected as much, but still clung to the hope she'd see a way out of the situation that would guarantee everyone both their lives and their self-respect.
I let the top sheet fall back over Donovan's writing and then fed all dozen or so sheets through the shredder at once.
"Do you think she's right, Donovan? Is that really the best option available to us?"
"From a long-term standpoint I think it is. I understand the likely consequences as well as anyone, I think, but I still would urge you to do exactly that."
Donovan reached down and placed his hand on my shoulder in a rare gesture of physical comfort. I looked up to meet his eyes and saw in them an understanding of what it would cost us if Agony decided to force the issue. Donovan had been, to one extent or another, a father to most of the pack.
I couldn't see any way of surviving a fight with Agony's men, not with him and
Oblivion thrown in, but the thought of letting one of our friends die still left me feeling sick.
"What about the second piece?"
Donovan considered for several seconds. "I think if it were true it would change everything, but I think it unwise for us to create any plans that include that as a requirement for success."
"You're probably right."
I spared a moment to hope we didn't lose anyone. That would be bad enough all by itself, but losing someone and then finding out later that Oblivion would have backed our play would be even worse.
I stood to leave and then heard something hit the reinforced steel walls of the office hard enough to make the room shake.
I was out into the hall just in time to see Abaddon throw Isaac into the wall again. Isaac shifted into his hybrid form as he rebounded, and turned on his opponent with more fury than I'd seen out of him in years.
The attack caught Abaddon off guard. He was slow changing, which allowed Isaac to get in a solid slash across his chest. Jess was huddled in the corner rocking back and forth as she sobbed quietly.
Abaddon shrugged Isaac off in a complicated move that I'd never seen before. The two hybrids sprang at each other and once again Isaac was the one that went flying. He sailed down the hall, past Jess and nearly hit Jasmin before he managed to get a grip on the floor and bring himself to a stop.
Abaddon rushed past me, knocking Isaac back into the west drawing room. I picked Jess up as I followed along the trail of destruction they'd created. Jasmin joined me just inside the room where we could watch the fight.
"Did you see how it started?"
Jasmin shook her head. "No, but judging by the state Jess is in, Abaddon did something to her or tried to do something. Isaac sprang to her defense and Abaddon started kicking the crap out of him."
Her summation of how Isaac was faring was unfortunately accurate. Abaddon's style of fighting was completely different than anything I'd ever seen before. Rather than trying to get behind Isaac where he could clinch and get a death grip, he kept knocking Isaac away.
Isaac wasn't fighting with his normal calm. Instead he was fighting stupidly. It was every bit as bad as what James usually did, and the result was every bit as bad as I would have expected. Against someone like Vincent, Isaac probably would have already lost the battle for positioning and be seconds from death. Instead he was bleeding from a dozen different places to Abaddon's two and maybe a minute from losing the fight.
There was a desperation to the fight now as Isaac sensed it resolving in Abaddon's favor. Isaac charged again, getting his talons into Abaddon's right leg before being driven back with a flurry of slashes.
Jasmin crowded in close to my side. "Shouldn't we do something? I mean it's three to one. We could easily kill Abaddon and shift the balance of power in our favor."
I shook my head. That was exactly the kind of thing that Agony was looking for. "It's a dominance fight. They have to work out who's dominant to who."
Jasmin looked like she was going to argue with me but Donovan shook his head at her. I turned back to the fight as another crash announced the destruction of more furniture. Isaac was on the ground now, struggling to get up as Abaddon glided forward.
I moved between them, but mostly faced Isaac. "You're beaten. He's dominant to you and you're going to have to just deal with it."
Isaac shook his head. "Jess. I have to protect her."
"No, you've just proved you can't protect either of you. Stand down."
He wasn't going to listen. I could see it in his eyes, so I did the only thing I could to keep him alive. I stomped down on his arm nearly hard enough to break bone as I let the hands holding Jess turn into nightmarish things that were topped by the same kind of semi-retractable claws he and Abaddon were already sporting. I didn't have to actually say anything, the threat was clear.
I turned to Abaddon. "There's no need for the fight to continue. You've proven you're dominant to him, killing him would be a waste."
"It's my decision, my right." Abaddon's voice came out deeper than normal, but there was an edge to it that couldn't be explained just by the different physiology between human and hybrid forms. He longed for the kill.
"He's your second and he wasn't any kind of challenge. Maybe I shouldn't stop with him."
My beast surged forward, filling the room with a level of power that made the fireworks that had accompanied their fight look like sparklers. As powerful as Agony and the rest of the Coun'hij ultimately were, it was the sick pieces of work like Abaddon and Marco who ultimately made it possible for such a small group to hold an entire race hostage.
The entire Coun'hij would have been swarmed under decades ago if not for the fact that they'd drawn together so many like-minded hybrids who lived for the sadistic thrill of seeing the rest of us brought low.
It was all I could do to stop myself from springing at Abaddon. My beast had largely been quiet for the last few weeks. Even the fight with Vincent hadn't really drawn it to the surface like this. Somewhere along the way it had gained power, had eroded more of that slim margin of willpower I used to keep it leashed.
I was so busy trying to master myself that it took me a minute to realize Abaddon had actually backed up a step. I stalked forward, just enough to make him nervous without actually getting close enough to make him attack me.
"If you attack me it will be the last thing you ever do. The same tradition that gives you the right to kill Isaac right now would finally give me the pretext I need to end you."
I loosened my grip on my beast just the slightest bit and felt my eyes bleed over to a lighter blue as the power level impossibly ratcheted up even more. I could almost see Abaddon's thoughts. He'd been told to create incidents, to tear at the bonds holding our pack together. He'd been prepared to do that, eager even after my fight with Vincent had made him think stories about my power were so much hot air.
Faced with the very real possibility that I'd just been holding back for some incomprehensible reason, Abaddon wasn't so eager anymore. He'd already lost a certain amount of status when Isaac had attacked him rather than bowing down before his towering reputation. He could regain it if he pushed me into a fight and then killed me, but he'd never felt that kind of power out of a single individual before.
Abaddon backed slowly away and then disappeared around a corner. I set Jess down next to Isaac and then left the room. I could feel Isaac's eyes follow me out of sight. I didn't need to look back to know they were filled with hate. We'd stood together against Brandon's overwhelming numbers, against James' craziness, and never flinched, but I'd just burned that history up like cobwebs. It remained to see whether or not any loyalty would survive the next few days, but I'd had no other choice. This at least gave him and Jess both a chance to see tomorrow.
Chapter 21
Mom and I had the biggest fight ever once Donovan left. Apparently she'd been watching from the upstairs window. Seeing Jasmin leave all banged up and Donovan limp away after talking to me alone had apparently been the last straw.
"You're not to talk to Alec or any of his friends ever again. I don't even want you associating with them at school."
"That's not fair. None of us have done anything wrong!"
"No, you've done plenty wrong, you're just not admitting to the rest of it."
"If Dad were here he'd be reasonable."
Mom's eyes blazed at my unfair jab. "Yes, please remind me of what I've lost. You're so busy wallowing in your self-pity you never bother to think about the fact that this is hard on me too."
"Right, because it was my choice to uproot you and drag you halfway across the country."
"I did what I had to do to take care of us."
I nearly turned and walked away. It would have been the smart thing. I would have gotten in trouble but nothing compared to what came next.
"No, you did what you've done so you could go play photographer. I haven't done anything wrong, but it would serve you right if I had. You spend most of you
r time out in the mountains expecting me to raise myself. Well, guess what. I did and now you've got to deal with the fact that I'm an adult too and you've been away too much to have any idea what I do with my time. Dad would roll in his grave if he could see you now."
Mom slapped me. Not like Marco had slapped me, lazy and secure in his own power. Mom hauled back and hit me with everything she had. I ran upstairs and locked my bedroom door.
I guess it was a moral victory. I'd pushed her so far she'd done something she regretted. It didn't feel like I'd won, it felt like my world was coming to an end.
Mom came by half an hour later and tried to apologize through the door. I put my head under the pillow and ignored her. Eventually she walked away and I quietly cried myself to sleep. We'd finally crossed a line. There'd been plenty of tension and resentment between us before but we'd buried it deep enough that neither had really realized it was there. Instead we had tried to pull together to make our life without Dad and Cindi work.
I didn't see us ever going back to that semi-happy state of affairs. Every time we looked at each other we'd think about the things that'd been said. We'd been mad, but mad sometimes just meant you were actually honest for a change.
I tried to lose myself in music again, tried books, homework. Nothing worked. I settled into a kind of funk where nothing mattered. It wasn't a panic attack, but it had some of the same overtones as how I felt when I woke up afterwards.
I heard Mom come back and try to talk to me again, but the knowledge didn't manage to pierce the comfortable numbness that surrounded me. Even when she got frustrated and yelled through the door it didn't manage to move me. Her words slid around the edge of my protection and then slipped away.
Eventually darkness came bringing with it extra insulation from the world. I don't know how long my phone rang before it finally pierced the numbness. I finally looked down and saw Alec's name on the caller ID.
"Adri, where have you been?"
"Home. Here in my room."
"I'm sorry, but I need you here. Agony's demanded your presence again."