by T. K. Chapin
The sound of Charlie’s hammer clanged in my ears for the next hour. I didn’t go back out to see him. I went about my usual afternoon activities. I put in a load of wash, washed the few dishes in the sink from that morning, and talked to my cat as I caught up on my reading. For a moment, I thought he’d left as the hammer sounds stopped. Standing up from the couch, I went over and peeked out the curtain to see if he did. Unfortunately for me, he was not only there but caught my glance. When he waved me to come outside, I was reluctant to do so but decided to be nice.
“Yeah?” I asked as I stepped out onto the porch, Milo following me. Milo stretched out as he pawed at the porch’s wood planks. Catching Charlie smile as he looked at Milo, I felt annoyed. Wrestling against my own lingering feelings of interest for Charlie, I adjusted my footing and crossed my arms, trying to hide it.
“I’m really sorry about Joe. That’s not like me.” He shrugged and glanced back toward the driveway and then back at me. “I don’t know what came over me.” He let out a sigh.
“What is it Joe did?”
“If you must know, it’s not what he did . . .”
I raised an eyebrow as I looked at him. “Go on.”
He let out a soft laugh and rubbed his jaw, then said, “Well, it’s simple . . . just a little silly. I stole his prom date for our senior prom.”
“Wow . . . and he’s still mad about that?”
He laughed. “I guess. Honestly, I was just defending myself, Amy.”
I dropped my arms to my sides as I struggled to realize that Charlie was defending himself, something I always longed to be able to do. I needed to give him the benefit of the doubt and pray about it. I can’t just write someone off immediately because of the slightest reminder of John. Smiling, I shook my head and looked at him. “To be honest with you, Charlie, between smashing up my porch and beating up my roofer, I’m starting to—”
“Not like me?” he replied with a laugh. “I get it. Just keep diggin’ that hole for myself.”
I laughed. “You really are digging quite the hole.”
His eyes fell to the almost completed railing, and he glanced over at me. “Give me another shot?”
Raising an eyebrow, I asked, “What do you have in mind?”
“Dinner. Movie.” He held his eyebrows up and focused on me, waiting for a reply. The silent and mysterious guy was opening up a bit more than I ever expected. He went from the coffee and two pieces of toast guy to Charlie Dillard, the kind-hearted entrepreneur and master hole-digger.
“All right, but no movie. I hate how people think movies are great. They don’t give you any time to talk. Dinner and a walk would be nice, though.”
“Little bossy, aren’t ya?” Charlie asked.
“I know what I want—that’s all.”
“I like that. I’ll pick you up, and we’ll go into Spokane. When is a good time for you?”
Thinking about it for a moment, I tapped my lips as I thought and answered, “Friday evening would be good. How’s eight?”
He smiled and said, “It’s a date.” Going over to the wood, he picked up another two-by-four and continued working on the porch railing.
Pressing on my mind out of nowhere came a question. “Where do you live?” I blurted out.
He stopped and looked over at me. “Down the road from the inn. Why?”
“Why doesn’t anyone ever see you in town?”
He laughed. “I don’t know. I buy most my stuff in Spokane, and I prefer to be at home. You okay?”
Smiling at him, I nodded. “I’ll see you for our date.” I turned and went inside. Peering through my living room window again, I watched him go back to work on the railing. As I looked out, I prayed that God would give me the wisdom to know if this one was bad news. There was no way I could put up with another John in my lifetime.
Chapter 8
Three days passed, and Thursday morning, I found myself awake before the sun was up. Slumber wouldn’t come to me during the night as I wrestled with my emotions over the impending date with Charlie tomorrow. Was it okay to go on a date when I haven’t even been officially divorced from John? Leaving my struggle beneath my comforter on my bed, I decided to get ready and go over to the Inn at the Lake. My hopes were to catch the sunrise and get a couple of hours of work in before heading into Dixie’s Diner.
As I walked down the path to the water at the inn, the sun was already beginning to come up over the treetops. Vibrant pinks, purples and reds lit the morning sky, reminding me how beautiful God’s paint strokes truly were. He’s always near.
Stepping off the path, I walked through the grass and over to the dock. The waters were still and undisturbed. Silence wrapped itself around me and brought a calmness to my soul as I took in not only the sunrise, but God’s nature all around. Walking the length of the dock, I came to the end and stood. Pine trees filled most of the scenery around the lake, with the only exception being houses, but there weren’t many of those either.
“Tranquil, isn’t it?” Emma said from behind me, causing me to jump a little.
Turning around, I said, “Sorry. You scared me. I didn’t know anyone was down here or awake this time of day.”
She smiled warmly as she walked down the dock to me. A robe wrapped around her thin frame and her messy hair gave the indication she’d stayed the night at the inn.
“Did you stay here last night?” I asked.
“I did.” She let out a wistful sigh before continuing. “Jody’s husband, Wayne, isn’t doing well, and I stayed over to discuss the future. Just family stuff. What are you doing out here so early in the morning?”
“I couldn’t sleep.” Hesitation stopped me from explaining, but she seemed to already know.
“Charlie?” she said.
“Yes,” I replied. “How did you . . . ?”
“Things have a way of getting around.”
Nodding, my eyes turned back to the water. Seeing a fish jump, my eyes traced the ripples.
Touching her lips with a couple of fingers, Emma looked out at the water and pointed. “My husband, when he was still with us, used to fish this lake with our boy, Lenny. They’d sit out in that boat for hours. I caught Lenny, on more than one occasion, praying at the kitchen table for God to let him catch a bigger fish than his dad.” A deep smile set into Emma’s face as she looked over at me with tear-filled eyes. Grasping onto my arm, she said, “Don’t ever give up on hope for the future, for love, for healing and for life. For hope is what connects us to God. Lenny hoped to catch a bigger fish than his father, but you hoped to have a new life when you moved here, Serenah. You just have to choose to live with hope and not be crippled by the fear of the past.”
I smiled as Emma’s words touched the depths of my soul. She was right. I needed to stop letting the fear of John rule my life. It was over a year ago, and I needed to press on and enjoy the new life I had created in Newport. Charlie wasn’t John. My worry over the date tomorrow evening with Charlie soon dwindled.
“I have a gift for you,” Emma said. “Come with me.”
She led me off the dock, across the grass by the shore, and over to the thicket of trees that lined the property. We weaved through a few trees until an opening where a patch of dirt lay with a baby pine tree. “What is this?” I asked as I approached the small tree and crouched, letting my fingertips fall across the pine needles that adorned the branches.
“It’s your tree. It’s for the memory of your baby girl.”
Tears instantly welled in my eyes. I had expressed my grievance to her over the fact I had no burial plot or memorial for Hope. Smiling, I stood up and wrapped my arms around her neck. “Thank you so much.”
“I knew the anniversary of her loss was coming up, and—”
“You’re truly the sweetest person I’ve ever met,” I said as tears trickled down my cheeks. It warmed my heart that she cared so much about me. Turning toward the lake that was visible through the trees, I said, “It’s a beautiful view of the lake for Ho
pe.”
“It is. She deserves to have a memorial, Serenah. She changed your life for the better.”
I smiled and wiped the tears from my eyes as I nodded. “I can’t thank you enough.” We continued to visit for a while longer before I headed back over to start in on more yard work.
As I weeded near one of the tall standing pine trees in the front yard near the driveway, a black Lexus RC pulled into the driveway of the inn. That looks just like John’s, I thought to myself. My heart began pounding, and I moved to the shrubs out of view. Watching as it pulled up, I hid further into the shrubs, pushing against sharp twigs and branches. The car pulled further ahead, and my sights fell onto Washington state plates, settling my nerves. When am I ever going to shake this fear? The car rolled to a stop, and a woman got out. Turning, I went back to weeding near the pine trees in the front.
Biting on her nails, Miley looked a bit nervous when I showed up at the diner at nine. She didn’t take her eyes off the front door the entire time I clocked in. “You’re acting strange,” I commented as I wrapped my apron around my waist.
Dropping her hand from her mouth, she turned to me. Lowering her voice as she leaned in, she said, “Wendy drilled into me the other day about some stupid customer who got a lemonade instead of an iced tea.”
“Ginger ale.”
Miley paused and pulled her head back. “Wait. You knew?”
“Knew what? I knew there was a problem with someone’s order.”
“And you threw me under the bus?” Miley retorted.
“Um . . . No. She asked if it was me, and I said no.” Placing a pencil behind my ear, I said, “Why does she act like she’s just waiting to fire us all?”
“Right?” Miley replied, shaking her head. “Why does Emma let her treat us like that?”
I shrugged. “I’m sure it has to do with the fact that Emma co-owns the diner with Debbie, and Debbie’s her aunt.”
“Ahh . . . yeah. Nepotism at its finest.”
“Order up,” Diego said from the server window a few steps away.
Miley flashed Diego a nod and headed that way, but not without saying on the way, “Lover boy should be here soon.”
My heart dipped at Charlie’s mention. Glancing at the computer screen, I saw he was due to come in any moment. Pushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear, I smiled and took a deep breath.
The door chimed, and in walked Charlie. Turning around, our eyes connected, and though we both smiled, I felt something in the air that he brought in with him. It wasn’t good. The feeling reminded me of the mysterious no-named man I had seen come in on Thursdays for months—but different. He looked grieved, and his shoulders sagged as he went to a table and sat down. Walking across the diner, I decided to play it easy, see if he’d divulge what was going on.
“Hey, Charlie.”
He looked up from his paper and tipped his chin, forced half-smile and all. “Amy.”
“Usual?” I asked, wanting to know more about this little thing he did. Today wasn’t the day to push it, though. I could tell that much.
He let out a sigh and said, “Yes. The usual.” As I wrote it down and turned to walk away, he called my name.
“Amy.”
Turning around, I looked at him.
He hesitated for a moment and shook his head. “Never mind.”
Not able to stand it another moment, I shoved the order pad in my apron and went over to him. Resting my hands on the table, I asked, “What’s going on in that head of yours, Charlie?”
He appeared to mull something over in his mind, and then he looked at me in a way that cut through all my layers and walls and into my soul. He asked, “You ever just have some days that are just a little bit harder than the rest?”
I nodded, thinking about the anniversary of my baby’s death being just two days away—Saturday. “Absolutely.”
“Yeah. It’s just one of those days.”
Bringing a hand up to his shoulder, I touched him and smoothed my thumb gently, giving him comfort. With a soft voice, I said, “I understand. I’ll get your order in.” As I cut through the restaurant, I thought more about my baby girl that never lived outside my womb. Often, I wondered if I would have been a good mom. Part of me used to feel God had made me miscarry because He didn’t think I’d be a good one. Luckily, though, my time at counseling taught me otherwise. Peering back at Charlie as he was weighed down with whatever was bothering him, I felt myself slip a bit further into having deeper feelings for him.
Those walls didn’t stand a chance.
Chapter 9
The flame of the candle in the center of the table flickered as a warm evening breeze blew through the patio of the restaurant in downtown Spokane. Raising my hand to catch my hair in the breeze, I pushed strands behind my ear and smiled at Charlie as he sat across from me. His smile glowed in the light of the candle. He had a nice suit and tie on, and his scent was especially intoxicating tonight. Though we didn’t talk about whatever was weighing him down yesterday at the diner, we did learn a lot about each other’s quirky histories and he kept me laughing through most the night.
“I can’t believe you’ve never have had a s’more before,” he said with a laugh before proceeding to finish his last bite of chocolate cake. “You were such a sheltered child!”
Shooing a playful hand gesture out in front of me, I let out a laugh. “Oh, come on! I haven’t been that sheltered. I sneaked out when I was sixteen once.”
“Yeah . . . What’d you do?” He crossed his arms as his eyebrows went up and he leaned back in his seat.
“My friend, Chelsea, and I slept in her car.”
He folded over as he let out a laugh. “Slept in the car? Ooh. Risky.” Composing himself after another few moments of laughing, he settled down. He took a deep breath before smiling and looking me in the eyes. “You’re too cute, Amy. You know that?”
Calling me by my fake name brought reality crashing back into my world in an instant. I was so caught up in the evening and enjoying our time together that all the realities of my deception were suspended, and we were just two souls enjoying the evening together. I wish he knew my real name. Forcing a smile, I said, “Yeah? Cute?”
“Yeah,” he replied. Pausing for a moment, he gripped the arms of the chair suddenly and leaned in over the table. “You want to get out of here? Go for a walk in Riverfront Park?” He glanced over his shoulder at the moon and said, “Moonlight walk down by the falls?”
Without speaking a word, I looked into his eyes and saw the depths of his soul. He was happy—at least, in this moment, he was. Being the one responsible for bringing that warmth to his eyes filled me with joy. Though I wasn’t telling Charlie everything, I knew what was developing was real. And while I did love John once before, I never felt like just being with me was ever good enough for him. There always had to be something more going on—a movie, dancing, gambling, whatever. There was no such thing as ‘going for a walk’ with my John. Even those trips to the city were riddled with activities to stay busy.
My heart was moving fast with Charlie, but I couldn’t stop it. Every passing moment surpassed the moment before.
As we walked one of the bridges in Riverfront Park holding hands, he stopped and turned to me. “That boat is the only thing left of my dad.”
Bouncing between his eyes, I saw how much it meant to him. Worry and hurt hid behind his green eyes. “I’m sorry. There isn’t anything you can do?”
He shook his head and his chin dipped to his chest. “She said she’s going to sell it because she’s tired of paying the $250 a month to dry dock it and making sure its upkeep is all good. She’s just done. I can’t afford that kind of money right now, so she wants to sell it. I mean . . . I get it. It’s a lot of money to shell out for a boat, but it was my dad’s boat. Jody met my father ten years ago, and they were deeply in love when he passed in a tragic car accident a couple of years back. I guess between her marrying Wayne and now wanting to get rid of the boat . . . I f
eel like maybe she never really loved my dad.” He bit his lip and turned away as his eyes began to glisten by the obviously painful words he spoke. Walking over to the cement railing of the bridge, he stretched his arms out and grasped onto the edge with both hands. That invisible weight that I had seen yesterday at the diner appeared to be back on his shoulders.
Walking up to his side, I placed a hand on his back, and he looked into my eyes.
“It’s the last thing I have of his in this world, Amy.” His eyes turned away and to the rushing falls beyond the railing. The sound of the crashing water took over the silence in the air between us. Not sure what to do or say, I just stood by his side, keeping my hand on his back. After a few minutes, he said, “I don’t really share this kind of thing with many people. I’m sorry if I came across all . . . I don’t know. All emotional or something.”
I grabbed his hand and looked at him. “I love getting to know more about you. You can share anything with me.”
“Same goes for you,” he replied.
A smile grew from the corner of his lips as he threaded his fingers into mine and we continued our walk. We continued talking and enjoying the quiet summer evening as we walked around Riverfront Park. When we crossed the street back over to the car after our walk, I noticed another black Lexus RC parked a few parking spaces from Charlie’s car. Is that the same one from the inn? Unable to see the plates in the dark, I got in and soon forgot about it as Charlie’s gaze in my direction stole my attention.
“Hi,” I said, smiling as I looked into his eyes.
“Hi.”
Seeing him steal a glance at my lips, I said, “Could we avoid the weird porch thing where I pretend to fumble around for my keys and just get our first kiss out of the way right now?”
He laughed. “Way to kill the romantic suspense of the evening, Amy.” He adjusted in his seat so he was partially over the armrest, leaning toward me. “You really do know what you want.”