by Olivia Chase
If it is him, then he’s just feeling guilty, I think to myself.
Regardless of how it happened, we call the bank and my father and discover that the mortgage, has, in fact, been paid off. $85,000 of debt just poof—gone. While my mother rejoices, calls every friend she can think of to tell them what just happened, and everyone runs around the house like chickens with their heads cut off, I sit outside and stare at the sky about to snow.
He’s not generous. He feels bad for what he did, and this is how he makes himself feel better. Money is no object to him—he said so himself. He’s rich. Money he can give away. It’s love that he holds onto, love that he hoards and keeps to himself.
He never spent a dime of the currency that truly mattered to him.
The next day, we’re getting ready for dinner. I haven’t slept well. All I could think about was the fact that Ethan paid off the mortgage.
I miss him terribly and half of me wants to call him and thank him profusely, while the other half wants to curse him out and tell him how much I hate him.
Do I hate him or do I love him?
Sadly, I don’t know anymore. All I know is I’m tired of aching and hurting.
I’m peeling potatoes to boil for the mashed potatoes when I hear a honk outside. My mother and I exchange glances. “You expecting someone?” she asks.
“No, who would I be expecting?” I say. Wondering if it’s even meant for us, I peer out the kitchen window. Outside is a stretch limo a mile long just parked in front of our house. “What the heck?”
“What is it?” Mom moves into the space next to me, as we both peer out the blinds. “That’s not who I think it is, is it?”
We all filter into the living room to stare outside as the horn continues to blare. Suddenly, a head emerges from the sunroof, then a pair of shoulders and arms, and finally, a big bouquet of sunflowers.
What in the actual fuck is Ethan Townsend doing here?
I storm to the front door and yank it open, running outside with my hands up. “What are you doing?” I yell. A few neighbors have come outside to see what the commotion is.
He smiles and tells the driver to knock it off. Dropping out of the sunroof, he opens the side door and steps out looking as amazing as I’ve ever seen him in blue jeans, boots, and a brown leather jacket with scarf.
My heart leaps and aches all at once.
He steps all the way up to me, as my sister behind me says, “Is that Ethan?”
I shoot her a glare over my shoulder to shut her up. I don’t want anyone stroking Ethan’s ego. Turning back to him, I say, “Ethan, what are you doing here?”
“I’m here to see you, Penelope.” With a sad smile, he hands me the sunflowers and leans in for a kiss on the cheek. Fragmented images come crashing into my mind like shards of glass from my memory—his stubble against my face, the smell of his skin when it’s lit by passion. Things I had pushed out of my mind all come barreling back.
“You couldn’t have come without the loud-ass limo?”
“Go big or go home, Sweetness.” That smile. Cocky, big, and gorgeous. I hate him.
I cross my arms. “Not sure if you know this, but this is a quiet neighborhood. We…” I gesture behind me. “Are a humble family who isn’t impressed with luxurious antics.”
“Alright, so I shouldn’t have blared the horn, but I had to find you. I need to talk to you, Penelope. Come with me and we’ll go somewhere quiet.”
“I don’t want to see you.” My heart hurts saying that, because it’s not true. For over a week, I’ve imagined Ethan changing his mind, becoming the man I wanted him to be of his own free will. But I don’t want to hurt anymore, and seeing him makes me feel like I’m being torn open all over again.
“Wow. Cold. I’m impressed. It’s like I don’t even know you,” he says.
“Yeah, well…I learned from the best.” Suck on that, Townsend.
After a moment of looking off down the road, he says, “I deserve that. But I still need to speak to you.”
“We’re fine right here,” I say. Anything he wants to say, he can say it in front of my family. Speaking of spoiled brats, he’s used to getting whatever he wants, but he’s on my territory now. If he wants to speak to me, my front stoop is a perfectly good location. I whip around and walk back to the steps, shooing everyone back into the house. Then, I sit on the front steps.
“Alright, I guess we’re going to talk right here.” He sits next to me, and a whiff of his aftershave slides under my nose. I love that smell and fight the urges my body is beginning to feel. My body doesn’t know shit, and that’s why I got hurt in the first place.
“Did you find her a good home?” I ask, staring straight ahead at the black limo. I almost choke on the question.
“I did,” he says softly.
The moment he says it, I start getting up. “I can’t do this, Ethan. I can’t listen to anything you have to say if she’s not a part of your life. I’m sorry.”
He takes my hand and sits me back down. “I didn’t say she was adopted.”
My eyes connect with his—crystal clear and full of what I hope are good intentions. It’s so hard to tell when emotions are running amuck in my head and heart. “She hasn’t? Why, what’s wrong? I would think any family would want her immediately.”
He nods. “I’m sure that’s true. And I kept thinking that I was going to hand her over to the agency as planned. But each day I kept postponing it, to the point where Wilson finally called me on my shit. He told me that I’d fallen in love with her and with you. He told me that she’s my daughter and you’re her mother, and I knew he was goddamn right.”
I stare at him uncomprehendingly.
His eyes have teared up but he smiles a little.
My chest vibrates with a feeling I can’t even name. It’s more than happiness, it’s like elation or joy. Yes, joy. “Ethan, are you sure? You can’t just say things that you know I want to hear. Please don’t mess with me.”
Swiveling toward me, he takes my hand and caresses it with a thumb. I look down at our hands. I want so much for it to work out, but I can’t go through this hurt again. I just can’t. Suddenly, I realize that’s the same feeling Ethan had the night of Lilly Belle’s accident, like he couldn’t go through with the pain again. He couldn’t lose yet another person he loved.
“I’m not messing with you, Penelope.” And then he moves away, stands, pulls something from his pocket, and kneels down in front of me.
When he opens the black velvet box, I see the biggest diamond ever shimmering at me.
“Holy shit,” I gasp, but it’s not because of the diamond. I’m staring at Ethan’s eyes, and his smile, and I realize this is all real.
And then he asks me, and I say yes.
Ethan
Penelope tells me she has something to talk about.
I’ve only just woken up and gotten my coffee, which I sip, then glance at my watch. It’s early, and Lilly Belle is still sleeping.
“What’s up?” I ask my fiancé, as she stands before me, beautiful as ever, no makeup necessary.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about a few things we need to clear up.”
I make a face. Shit. I know things aren’t going to just be perfect right away after everything I’ve put her through, but I hope to god she’s not having second thoughts about marrying me. “Okay, shoot,” I tell her. “I’m listening.”
“Firstly, we need to talk about Wilson.”
My eyebrows rise. “Wilson?”
She nods. “Ethan, the man’s been your servant for almost twenty-five years. He’s old. He wants to retire, but he worries too much about you. You’re like a son to him so he can’t stay away. But now that we’re getting married, he can finally retire and start spending more time with his family. Please promise you’ll let him go and give him pension so he can enjoy life in South Carolina. Please. He deserves it.”
“That filthy bugger?” I scoff, relieved that’s all it was, giving her a warming smile.
It’s actually a great idea, and I was starting to think about suggesting this to Wilson anyway. “Fine, done. What else?”
“Your mother.”
“Forget it. I’m not making amends with her.”
“I wasn’t going to suggest that,” she says. “I was going to say that if having her in your life remains a toxic situation, then I don’t want her anywhere near Lilly Belle. However, if you think you can go to therapy with her, sort things out, and make room for her in your life, I’m fine with that, too. I’ll support whatever you want to do, but I want you to make a decision one way or another on whether or not to include her in your life.”
I stay quiet. I don’t ever want to see my mother again. Yes, the five-year-old in me still yearns for her approval. It’s driven everything I’ve done in my life, but at some point, I have to accept that situation for what it is.
“I’m still not sure about my mother. A lot depends on her,” I say. “But I promise she won’t be around Lilly or you unless she has changed from the way she used to be.”
“And finally,” Penelope says, sighing, “we need to deal with the mess your contractors made of the baby’s room. It’s a mess, Ethan.”
“Shit. Really?” I put my coffee mug down. I was so busy at work the last few days, I didn’t have a chance to look at their progress, but they always did great stuff for me in the past.
When we get to Lilly Belle’s room, I get ready to be furious. Then we open the door and…holy pixie dust. Her room is a wonderland full of painted vines and trees and flowers. Tiny sparking lights stretch across the space, and her crib lies underneath the big branch of a tree. A glow in the dark resin model of Tinkerbelle pokes out from inside the constructed tree.
“Welcome to Neverland,” my fiancé laughs. “I was just messing with you. It’s incredible.”
“You’re going to wake her,” I whisper, realizing how loud we’re being.
“She’s waking up anyhow,” Penelope replies, then pads over and picks Silly Belle up and starts cooing and cradling our child.
Our baby.
I swallow my tears, but this time they are happy tears.
I shake my head and pick up the remote control on top of the dresser. “And this?” I ask. “It actually works?”
Penelope smiles broadly. “Go on, press it and see.”
I press the button and Tinkerbelle flies out of the tree and over to the papier-mâché blueberry bush on the opposite end of her room, making a fairy dust sound as she goes.
“Look, Lilly!” Penelope cries.
Lilly Belle’s eyes are round and huge as she tries to grab for the little flying fairy. She laughs hysterically.
“Holy crap, that is awesome,” I say, and a true belly laugh explodes from my throat. I realize in that moment it’s never happened before. I’ve never truly laughed like this in my entire life.
I feel something in my chest give way and suddenly, it’s like I can breathe for the first time.
And then Penelope’s arms snake around my middle and she hugs me tight.
“I love you so much, Ethan.”
“And I love you, Sweetness. You are my world, my sun and my stars. And our little girl is the air I breathe.”
My hands immediately go to her waist, feeling the way they fit perfectly right where her hips begin. I love this woman.
Later that morning, Lilly goes down for a nap.
“Fuck, I’ve been dying to have you to myself,” I say, as soon as Penelope puts the little one in her crib.
“Calm yourself,” Penelope says as I grab her.
“Fuck that,” I growl in her ear, and then hoist her over my shoulder.
She squeals but manages not to wake the baby.
Carrying her back to my room, I drop her on the bed, looking down at her in awe.
This amazing woman will now be by my side, all because I threw caution to the wind and decided to get my shit together. This. This perfect woman, making me the happiest man alive, is what life is all about. I’m sure we’ll have fights and I’m sure I’ll be an asshole to her at some point, but I’m going to do my best to cherish her always and not be a jerk, and she has full rights to knock sense into me if ever I should need it.
She pulls me onto the bed, and suddenly, I’m looking down at an angel with a ginger halo spread out all around her on our gray comforter. “Kiss me,” she says. I do, and once I start, I can’t stop. Everything about those first days of making love to her and more come rushing back.
I feel more love for her every moment. It just builds and builds.
I have to slide her out of her outfit, and her body is so smooth to the touch. After undressing, I kiss every inch of her body, loving the way that she arches her back to meet my mouth, moaning softly when my tongue takes in one of her breasts, sucks hard and plays with her nipple between my teeth.
She’s moving fast today, urging me to the other breast, pushing me down between her legs, and giving me her sweet pussy before I can even move her up the bed. Her legs hang over the edge, so I pull her to me and take in that delicious pussy, licking her lips and sliding my fingers into her, slathering her clit with her juices. I’ll never get enough of licking on that either, and I don’t even care that she comes all over my face or that she seems satisfied, I keep on licking her through her orgasm. Because I adore her, fucking worship the ground she walks on, and I’ll make her come again if she’ll let me.
“God, you’re so amazing, Sweetness. And I’m never going to stop loving you, never going to stop being the man you want and need me to be.”
“And I’m not going anywhere either, Ethan. If you didn’t get rid of me before, you’ll never get rid of me now.”
“I hope that’s a promise,” I whisper.
“Enough talk, Mister Townsend. Come up here and slide your cock into my pussy,” she says. I’ve never heard her speak this way, and my cock cannot possibly grow any harder. Her voice telling me what to do does something to me that no woman has ever been able to achieve—drive me insane. Suddenly, all I want is to do her bidding, slide into her and buck hard against her, ram my steel into her cunt, and make that fucking pussy mine forever. She’s my queen, my new direction, my love and my life.
She reaches back with her arms, holding onto the bars of the headboard, giving her tits up to me to suck on as I drive into her. Holding onto her waist, I kneel up and impale myself into her body, my cock up to the hilt, my balls slapping her ass. I want to give her everything I am, every part of me. I’m simply not afraid anymore. Before I lived in a black and white world, but now with Penelope in it, everything glows in multidimensional colors.
With a great buildup, I let it all go and spill my seed deep into her, claiming her. She crests another orgasm at the exact same time. We are meant for each other. This pure, radiant woman is ready to be my wife and a mother all at once. Holy fuck. My pulse takes forever to come down. All I can think of is my fortune. My real fortune—her.
I collapse on top of her and take all the gratitude within me and give them to her in the form of a long, deep and passionate, kiss. Our eyes close. It takes someone special. It takes someone gifted to deal with me. It takes a super nanny to fill the position of Mrs. Ethan Townsend. Winds from the east brought her to me, and now she’s here to stay.
Position of hot, smart-as-balls, amazing wife—filled.
Epilogue
It’s a cold February morning, the kind when you’re so toasty in bed cuddled up next to your husband that you could stay there all day long. The house is quiet, the snow is falling, and Ethan’s skin is imprinted with our mixed scents. Maybe I can sleep the day away. But then I remember that we’re parents. Not just any parents, but the parents of a little girl who’s turning two today.
“Mama!” Silly Belle calls from the magical forest of Neverland.
“You get her.”
“I got her last time,” he mumbles. “Plus, she’s calling for you.” Ethan’s smartass smile is enough to make me pinch his side. “Ow, what was
that for?”
“Come on, we have a party to get ready anyway.”
“Didn’t we hire people to do that?”
“No, we rented a cupcake shop for several hours so we can hold our party but we do the rest ourselves. We’re involved in our daughter’s life. We actively participate, remember?” It’s not meant to be a dig at his mother’s past negligence; it’s just fact. This is how we’ve chosen to parent—completely and whole-heartedly. I swipe the comforter off his smoking hot body. “Let’s go, Captain Hook.”
We tiptoe into our fairy princess’s neck of the woods and both sing at the same time, “Happy Birthday, Lilly Belle!” Ethan swoops in on our bouncy curly-haired blonde and picks her up in the air. Her feet kick like she’s swimming in the air, sprinkling pixie dust everywhere.
“Guess who’s having a party today?” I tickle her and take her from Ethan’s arms.
“Par-dee?”
“Yes, you, my little goddess. In just a couple hours. Let’s get you dressed!”
Gardenia’s in midtown bustles with smiles, sparkling lights, and joyous conversation. The cupcake bakery’s courtyard garden is a magical place to hold a party, like an enchanted fairyland for toddlers. All of Lilly Belle’s friends from the park are there, a few of her friends from swimming lessons, all my family, and even friends of Ethan’s from work.
Wilson is there with his wife and older daughter, and watching Wilson swirl icing on a cupcake then sprinkle edible glitter all over it is priceless. “Hey, you’re pretty good at that,” I tell him, handing him a mimosa in a champagne glass. “I should’ve hired you to make them all.”
“Bite your tongue, Mrs. Townsend. This here cat’s retired.” He laughs, turning to his wife and giving her a peck on the cheek.
“You’ve done a beautiful job with this party, Penelope,” his wife tells me, giving me that look some people do when they want to express just how special they think I am for taking both Ethan and Lilly Belle into my life. What they don’t understand is that my husband and daughter enrich my life just as much.