by JM Stewart
Maddie. All she’d seen were the lies he’d told, and he couldn’t blame her.
She folded her arms and jerked her gaze off to the right. “What do you want from me?”
“I want you to hear me out.”
“It’s over and done with, Grayson. I have no desire to rehash it.”
She turned and moved around him, but this time he let her go. He’d said his piece. For now. The rest would have to come after the auction. The shit would no doubt hit the fan when she discovered she’d been chatting with him all this time and not some stranger, but he hoped the date would stand. Maddie, in her heart of hearts, was a good woman. She stood by her word. It was a selfish card to pull on her, but she’d owe him a date, and he aimed to take advantage of that. He had things he needed to tell her. He’d bare it all, including the scars the tattoo covered and the story behind them.
From down the hall, an announcement came over the speakers in the ballroom. The auction had begun. They were calling the bachelors to the stage. He strode back inside, taking his place with the other men. Firmly in the middle, an entire hour passed before his turn came. An entire hour to gauge Maddie’s reaction as she sat in the audience. Her gaze set on him. She appeared relaxed, her long legs crossed, hands folded in her lap, but hurt still played in her eyes.
The thought of which only gave him hope. It meant she still cared, and he still had a chance. Maybe it was a snowball’s chance in hell, but it was a chance nonetheless. That was what he held on to as he waited for his turn.
When his turn came, he met Hannah’s gaze in the audience. She sat with her husband beside Maddie. She gave a barely perceptible nod and shifted her bidding number in her lap. He smiled in gratitude. He only hoped their little charade wasn’t about to cost Hannah her best friend. As he took his place beside Christina, only half listening as she introduced him, he was entirely too aware how much rode on him pulling this off.
The first time Hannah raised her number to bid, Maddie jerked her gaze to her friend. She leaned over, murmuring something, no doubt some form of, “What are you doing?”
His chest tightened, but he mentally crossed his fingers. This had to work.
Hannah’s mouth moved, likely a reassurance, but she sat straighter and raised the number again. Bids went back and forth, but Hannah never failed, God bless her. He knew the moment the jig was up, that Maddie had figured out he was her date, when, during the fourth round of bidding, she turned to glare at him. When the auctioneer announced Hannah had won the bid, Maddie surged to her feet and stormed from the room. Hannah gave him a helpless shake of her head, murmured something to her husband, then launched from her seat after Maddie.
Panic clawed at his chest. This was the moment of truth, where it all either came together or fell apart.
Christina touched his shoulder, murmuring only loud enough for him to hear. “Good luck, Gray.”
He nodded, stomach tight, and followed Hannah at a pace that appeared much calmer than he would have liked. He wanted to run, but all eyes were trained on him. He had to play it cool. By the time he reached the hallway Hannah and Maddie were halfway down it, standing outside the entrance to the women’s restroom.
Maddie’s irate voice carried down the hallway. “But with him, of all people? You know how much I loathe him.”
Grayson stopped for a moment to listen. Hannah and Maddie’s conversation would tell him how to play this.
Hannah gripped Maddie’s hands. “No, you don’t. Admit it, at least to yourself. You’re miserable. You said it yourself. You can’t move on because you have regrets. You have doubts about your actions that weekend. Don’t you think you owe it to yourself to find out what might have happened?”
Maddie gave a small, relenting huff and folded her arms. “You could have at least warned me.”
Hannah shook her head. “Would you have come tonight if you’d known?”
Maddie let out a sigh. “Probably not.”
Hannah nodded. “Exactly. I hope you know I did it because I love you. I know you, Madds. This will eat away at your soul. This is your chance to find out, once and for all. Tell me you haven’t thought about it.”
Maddie opened her mouth to say something, but as he approached them her gaze flicked to him. Something resembling panic flitted across her face, there and carefully masked again a blink later. She drew her shoulders back and furrowed her brow, staring daggers at him.
Hannah turned, and upon catching sight of him gave him an apologetic frown.
“Sorry, Grayson. I’ve done everything I can. The rest is up to you.” Just as suddenly, Hannah’s brow furrowed, and she jabbed a stern finger at him. “But if you hurt her again, I know two men who will be only too happy to help me relieve you of your balls.”
Grayson gave a sad shake of his head as he set his gaze on Maddie. “It wasn’t my intention to hurt her in the first place.”
Maddie jerked her gaze away, clearly shutting him out. The road to her would be a long, hard haul, but if he was lucky, his efforts would pay off. At the very least, she needed to know—to finally believe—he might have screwed up, but he hadn’t intended to hurt her. He’d delayed the inevitable too long. How much he cared for her had scared the hell out of him. It still did.
Hannah let out a world-weary sigh. “Which is the only reason I agreed to this crazy concoction you and Christina cooked up.”
Hannah touched Maddie’s shoulder, then moved around him, her heels clicking softly on the marble floor as she made her way back into the ballroom.
Finally alone with him now, Maddie graced him with a glance. “You can go to hell. I have nothing to say to you. This makes twice now you’ve lied to me.”
She turned and rounded the corner, pushing into the women’s restroom. For a moment, he considered letting her go. He had two choices: he could wait her out and try to catch her later or he could follow her.
So, he pushed open the restroom door and strode inside. Luckily, the space was empty except for Maddie.
She stood at the sinks, leaning back, eyes closed, fingers massaging her temples. At the creak of the door opening, her eyes popped open and she turned her head. As her gaze landed on him, her brows rose. “Are you insane? This is the women’s restroom.”
He turned the lock on the door. “There. Now we won’t be disturbed.”
Her eyes widened, filling with panic, and darted from him to the now locked door beside him.
Immediately understanding her fear, he held up his hands and shook his head. “Don’t look at me like that. I’d never hurt you, and you know it.”
Maddie didn’t answer, but instead turned her head toward the small windows lining the far wall, her voice low and impassive. “Move away from the door and let me go.”
He ignored her plea and instead dared a couple of steps in her direction. “Would you have even given me the time of day if I’d told you who I was?”
Her head snapped in his direction, eyes blazing.
“You lied to me! Not once, but twice.” She let out a little huff of disbelieving laughter. “What an elaborate hoax you pulled this time, too; and what a fool I was for not seeing it. God, I thought it was so sweet when you sent me that damned book. Now I just feel like an idiot. You used all those things I shared with you in confidence three years ago against me. So, tell me, Grayson, why should I even give you the time of day?”
He closed the remaining distance between them, set his feet on either side of hers and leaned into her enough that their bodies touched. With her effectively trapped against the waist-high counter, he now had her undivided attention. Her breathing hitched but she held his gaze, staring in wide-eyed shock, yet didn’t attempt to push him back.
“You are the most stubborn woman I’ve ever known. Do you have any idea how much it hurt when I realized you’d stood me up? That you had no intention of showing up? The next morning came and went and you couldn’t even give me the benefit of the doubt enough to ask me if that crap they printed in the paper was true
.”
True to her nature, Maddie didn’t back down. She hiked her chin a notch. “You lied to me, Grayson. About who you were, about your role in the company. It made me question everything about us, and I realized I couldn’t trust you. I still don’t, because you lied to me again. So just say what you need to say so we can get this over with.”
“There are things I need to share with you, but I won’t do it here. This isn’t the right time or place for what I need to tell you.” The only way to get through the thick walls she kept against him would be for him to bare it all. He’d have to show her those scars, and he had no desire to do it in this crowded hotel. “I believe you owe me a date. You have dinner with me, and I’ll talk, but not here.”
She glared at him and shoved hard against him. When he didn’t budge, she pounded his chest with a fist. “Damn you, Grayson Lockwood. Damn you to hell. I don’t care how much you paid for a date with me. I don’t owe you a single thing.”
Her voice wobbled, and tears welled in her eyes, cutting him every bit as deeply as the bite of his father’s belt that long ago day. He loathed himself for the pain in her eyes, but he needed her to listen. None of this insanity would end until she heard him out, but Maddie was beyond stubborn, and she pushed his every last damn button. His last nerve snapped, and his irritation soared.
“All right. You want to know what happened? It took me a long damn time to even work up the courage to tell you three years ago. That night you told me about your past? It didn’t fall on deaf ears. I have one of those, too, and telling you about the charade, about who I really was, meant I’d have to share my past with you. It’s not pretty, and I have no desire to relive it.”
Grayson ground his teeth, drawing a deep breath before continuing.
“My tattoo covers scars. The thought of telling you and having to wait for your reaction made my gut ache.” He dragged a shaking hand through his hair. “Christ, Maddie, you scare the hell out of me.”
When she didn’t respond but stood, breathing hard and staring at him in stunned silence, he gathered what was left of his nerves and set his hands on the counter behind her. The subtle movement brought him down to her level, effectively bringing their faces inches apart. Her breaths fanned his lips, harsh and every bit as erratic as the beat of his heart. All he could focus on was her eyes and the emotion ready to split his chest open, but he let his frustration fuel the words he needed to tell her.
He glared right back at her. “I was in love with you, goddamn it.”
Chapter Seven
Grayson clearly waited for a reaction, as silence hung in the air, heavy between them, but all Maddie could do was stare in return and process. He loved her. Or at least, he had.
The thought made her chest ache. God, how she’d yearned to hear those words once upon a time. Now, hearing them brought up all those regrets she couldn’t set aside. She’d been angry at discovering Christina and Hannah had lied to her, too, but were they right? Was Grayson? Had she done the right thing by not showing up that weekend? Would things have turned out differently had she gone with her heart, moved beyond what she’d seen as his betrayal, and given him the chance to explain?
When the weekend came and went and she hadn’t shown, he must have left a dozen messages on her voicemail. He’d begged her to listen, sworn he hadn’t meant to hurt her, that things had gone horribly wrong. He’d spoken as if convincing her meant everything. She couldn’t ignore that he was still desperate for her to listen.
She’d been so hurt, had been so positive she couldn’t trust him. It wasn’t fair to judge Grayson by standards set by an asshole like Matt, but she was so terrified of being hurt again she’d panicked.
And then he’d stopped calling, leaving her with a hole where her heart used to be. Now, she couldn’t ignore the moment staring her in the face. She had to face the possibility she’d been wrong about him all this time.
What she needed to do was to get out of there, leave this room and put as much distance between them as possible. Three years had passed. It was time to move on. Except the look in his eyes caught her. Pained accusation mixed with frustration. If she didn’t know better, she’d swear she’d hurt him.
It didn’t help that his nearness made her nerves scatter. Being close enough to touch him again was like somebody had sucked all the oxygen from the room. Grayson had changed. The man she’d known had been long and lanky. The man before her had filled out and then some. His shoulders were wider, his chest thicker, filling to perfection the black tux he wore. His dark brown hair was still this side of too long, but combed back, and those chocolate eyes trained on her, waiting.
Her mind filled with all those chats, with that image he’d sent her, and a flame she’d tried so hard these last three years to douse flared again, spreading warmth to every limb. It warred with the betrayal that wanted to split her chest open. These last two weeks, she’d trusted that the things he’d shared with her were the truth. She’d let her guard down, had chatted with him thinking he was somebody else. But staring at him, her breath caught in her chest and her limbs refused to move. She couldn’t even think straight, at least not about anything except how much she’d missed him.
She couldn’t deny it. Knowing the man she’d been chatting with all this time was him, and not some stranger, did nothing but make her clit throb. To the point she flexed her thighs to ease the unbearable ache. Being in the same room with him again had her knees shaking with the desperate need to hurl herself against him and discover if his kiss would taste as familiar as it once had. Would it even be the same?
There was too much water under this bridge, too many things left unspoken. She couldn’t ignore that he’d lied to her not once but twice.
As she slowly lost herself in his eyes, the tension between them became a rope stretched beyond its limits, frayed and ready to snap at any moment.
And then it did.
Just as suddenly as he’d stilled and quieted, he gripped her face in his warm palms. His mouth came down hard on hers before she’d even managed to think about what she ought to be doing. His mouth bruised hers, his kiss fierce and desperate and tender all rolled into one luscious tangle of lips. As if he had a point to prove.
Like he poured all those things he couldn’t say into the exchange. Oh, she knew that’s what he was doing, because her body responded to the call of his. She wanted, needed, to push him away, but his tongue stroked the seam of her mouth. Like no time had passed at all, she wound her arms around his neck and lifted onto her toes to get more of him. One taste and she was three years in the past, pressed against his lean, solid body, clinging to him with a need she couldn’t deny.
Three years spent missing him became a desperate desire to fuse with him. Every thought except the need for him not to stop flitted away, lost in the simple joy of his mouth on hers.
She’d missed this. God, how she’d missed this…the absolute desperation between them, like if they didn’t stop, they’d meld together. He was warm and familiar, his scent swirling around her, wrapping her in a sense of safety that made no sense. Instead of pushing him back or slapping him, her hands fisted the lapels of his jacket and pulled him in. Her lips opened on a soft sigh, her mouth slanting over his, and his tongue swooped in, a tender, needy stroke against hers.
She wasn’t the only one affected. Despite his cool, “in control” exterior, his body trembled against hers. His cock was hard against her stomach, thick and pulsing behind the zipper of his black slacks, and she ached. God, how she ached. To feel that cock slide inside of her, for him to bring the absolute pleasure his words these last two weeks had promised.
On her next breath his hands slid down her thighs. His tongue was restless in her mouth as he yanked her dress up around her waist. In one swift motion he gripped her ass and lifted her, setting her onto the cool tile of the counter behind her.
Her fingers found the button on his slacks and popped it free, then slid down the zipper, freeing his erection. As she shoved her
hands in his pants, palming the length of his cock, he edged between her thighs, reached between them, and tugged the edge of her panties aside. They surged together at the same moment. Her hips rolled forward, her clit grinding against his pelvis as he buried himself to the hilt in one powerful thrust.
It wasn’t a slow, tender lovemaking, the way she’d always imagined the first time with him would be. Rather, his fingers bit into the flesh of her ass as he surged up into her again and again. Her breath left her lungs on a pleasure-filled gasp, and she locked her legs around his waist, grinding hard against him, desperate for the release, for this connection to him. However wrong it might be, she needed this connection.
She leaned forward and bit down on his bottom lip, tugging on it. The action was punishment and tease. He let out a low sound somewhere between a hungry growl and a needy moan and pushed harder, deeper, faster, and the sounds of their lovemaking filled the bathroom, echoing around them. Skin connected with skin as two bodies strained to become one. His soft grunts, and her quiet moans. Anybody within earshot surely would know what was going on inside the bathroom of this expensive hotel.
Not that she could stop. Every stroke of his cock inside her was a match strike. Every inch of her lit up like he’d set her on fire, and every hard thrust only pushed her closer to the luscious abyss. He gained a punishing rhythm that sent her rushing headlong toward total fusion.
Another hard thrust and the dam burst. Her body convulsed around him, a searing rush of pleasure that left her gasping and moaning and shaking helplessly in bliss. He groaned and captured her mouth again, swallowing her cries. His hips jerked, his body trembling against hers as he found his own release deep inside of her.
When it ended, he dropped his forehead onto her shoulder with a groan, chest heaving, his breath warm and ragged against her throat. She was attempting to catch her breath when guilt hit like a meaty fist to the gut. The trembling started in her hands, spreading through the rest of her. Four-year-old memories snapped by faster than she could stop them. Matt pinning her to the bed. The overwhelming dizziness.