by Devyn Quinn
Part of that was a lie. She did remember bits and pieces. She especially recalled how mesmerized she’d been by the feel of warm lips caressing her bare flesh; how willing she’d been to surrender everything for another calming touch, another painfully chilling kiss . . .
What kind of person would admit she’d enjoyed having not only her body but her soul ravished?
Maddox reached across the table and touched her hand. The shock of skin-to-skin contact was instant and electric.
Eyes flying open, Jesse reared back and pulled her hand away. Right now she didn’t want to be touched by anyone. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore, okay?”
Maddox sighed and leaned back against his seat. “Take it easy,” he advised. “I’m sorry to drag up the bad times.”
She offered a wan smile. “It’s not your fault it happened . . .”
Sassy reappeared, carrying two plates heaping with food. Setting one down in front of Maddox, she slid the other over to Jesse. “Here ya go, honey,” she said, flashing a mile-wide grin.
“The best breakfast you’ll ever eat. I had Louis add some extra bacon on for the skinny girl. Good food’ll put a few pounds on her little self.”
Maddox nodded back. “Thanks, dear. As usual, it looks edible. No wonder your roaches are so fat.”
The black woman rolled her eyes. “It’s easier to feed’em than kill ’em,” she guffawed.
“I’m sure they appreciate it.” He picked up his empty coffee cup. “If we could just get a refill, all will be well.”
“Sure enough, honey.” Tossing a wink, Sassy bustled off again.
Maddox reached for a fork, which he wiped on his T-shirt before stabbing it into his food. “Eat up.”
Ten minutes ago Jesse had been hungry enough to eat a horse. Now she barely had an appetite. Just looking at the plate heaped with scrambled eggs, bacon, hash browns, and grits swimming in butter made her sick all over again.
Pushing the plate away, Jesse lowered her head into her hands. It had been a mistake to come back to New Orleans. She knew that now. She should have stayed away, running as fast and far as she could.
While she couldn’t fully fathom the probing behind his questions, one thing was for sure. Maddox deValois clearly knew the dark, devouring netherworld of the Telave. Whether it was premonition or a self-preserving instinct, all warning signs were pointing the same way. If she became involved with him, he would somehow send her spiraling into the abyss of the undead.
It was a ludicrous idea, but she couldn’t allay the images invading her mind. The notion terrified her.
The girl had barely touched her food. She wasn’t eating. That wasn’t good.
Maddox looked down at his own empty plate. In less than fifteen minutes he’d managed to scarf down the entire huge meal, and he had even asked for seconds. His coffee cup held a third refill, and he was considering a fourth.
While he had eaten like a man fearful this was his last meal, Jesse had grazed, taking a nibble of bacon, a taste of eggs, a spoonful of grits. By now her food had grown cold. Congealed with grease, it looked thoroughly unappetizing.
So much for a hearty Southern breakfast.
Pushing his empty plate aside, he checked the clock hanging above the register. Another half hour and he’d have to get a move on. His boss was a hard-ass who didn’t tolerate late or lazy men.
He glanced back at Jesse. She sat with her head down, fork perched limply in one hand. Now and again she would lift a bite toward her mouth, grimace, and put it down again. The girl was already skinny for her height. She couldn’t afford to drop more weight. If she lost ten more pounds, she would be emaciated. The demon inside her was literally sucking her dry. If it didn’t stop soon, she’d simply shrivel up and blow away.
She’s so young, he thought. It isn’t right for her to try and fight a thing like this. Death would have been a mercy. As always, the idea of putting her down lingered in the back of his mind. People euthanized animals when they were too ill or diseased to live without pain. Was her agony any less because she was human, a being perceived to have a soul? The demon flourishing inside her was clearly taking its toll, not only physically but mentally. Though she’d managed a year with the thing growing inside her, she was an emotional and physical wreck.
She’d probably have a better chance of survival if she simply gave in and fed the demon. But what might she morph into afterward? No one had ever encountered a living vampire. With a mind and will of her own, she wouldn’t be a part of the collective at all.
Again he had to consider the Enlightened One’s promise to send a leader to guide them. He’d always imagined it would be a man, a great towering oak of pure male strength and power. A half-starved girl who weighed perhaps a hundred pounds soaking wet wasn’t what he imagined a celestial champion would look like.
Then again, looks could be deceiving. She might be a weapon they could use against the Telave—a weapon possessing all their strengths, but none of their infirmities.
The more he considered it, the more he liked the idea. There had to be a reason Jesse Burke had stumbled into his path.
He just needed to figure out what that reason was.
Leaning back, he lit another cigarette. “You should try to eat a little more,” he suggested. “If you’re really going to do what you think you have to, you’re going to need your strength.”
The ensuing silence between them extended and became uncomfortable. The rest of the people in the diner buzzed around them. Idle chatter filled the gap.
Sighing with frustration, Jesse finally dropped her fork. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I thought I was hungry.” She blanched and wrapped her fingers around her coffee cup instead, as if seeking its warmth. For the first time he noticed her long elegant fingers were free of grime and no more dirt caked her nails. “Guess I’m not.”
“Everyone needs food,” he prodded. “You don’t eat, you don’t live.”
She barely managed a shrug. “So?”
“It’s a shame to let good food go to waste.”
Jesse pulled a face. “Who says this is any good to begin with?”
Reminding himself to have patience, Maddox puffed on his cigarette. Jesse had lived on the fringes of normal society since becoming infected. Her social skills were going to be more than a little bit rusty. He also thought he detected more than a little bit of self-pity in her whine.
She needed a good swift kick.
“There’s no way I’m taking you out on the streets after dark,” he said, trying not to sound too gruff or negative. “If you’re not strong enough, you’re going to be left behind.”
Swallowing hard, she glanced up at him. Her gaze met his with a bravado he knew she was faking. “I can hold a gun.”
He exhaled in frustration. “There’s more to hunting these things than pointing a shotgun and pulling a trigger. For one, that damn thing has a kick that would knock you right on your skinny little ass. For two, those damn things can move fast. Sometimes faster than the human eye can even see. You can’t shoot what you can’t aim at.”
She instantly frowned. He watched her gather her thoughts, knowing she was trying to put a counterargument together, and failing. “So you’re saying I’m basically useless.”
Maddox tapped a line of gray ash onto his empty plate. He felt a little cruel for putting her through this, but he had no choice. A chain was only as strong as its weakest link. “I don’t think you’re useless,” he said slowly. “You have the power of a demon brewing inside you. If you could learn to control it, utilize its strengths, I believe you’d be a very powerful fighter.”
Jesse shook her head, and her frown deepened. The shadows under her eyes emphasized the depths to which they were sunken. “I’m not feeding it.”
He sucked in more smoke. “I’m not saying to let it take over,” he countered. “But you’ve obviously got some control; otherwise it would have simply extinguished you and taken over your body, which is how the Telave work. You�
��ve been able to fend it off thus far, and that’s promising. I believe if you were a bit stronger physically, you could make the little beast sit up and take notice.”
A spark of recognition glinted in the depths of her eyes. She flexed her hands. “You know, I feel it boiling beneath my skin. Some kind of”—she shook her head—“I don’t know. Energy, maybe is what you’d call it, as though I’ve grabbed on to a live wire. Sometimes I feel so furiously strong, it’s frightening. And just when I think that strength is a part of me, the demon sucks it away.”
“When do you feel that strength?”
The spark dimmed a little. “When it’s hungry,” she admitted. “And when I think I just might want to give it a taste.”
He studied her for a minute. “Then that’s the carrot to dangle in front of its face. The promise to feed.”
The spark died. “No. That’s the one thing I’m trying to stay away from. I won’t bargain with it, or promise it anything just to run a little faster or jump a little higher.”
Maddox eased off. He could tell by her body language that she was terribly afraid. She wasn’t ready. Not yet. Maybe later she would be. For now, no. Fear still crippled her.
“Then you’ll have to do it on your own,” he advised. “And that will mean building your body the old-fashioned way.” He was preying on her insecurities, but it was the only way he could think of to move her toward serious action. Right now he wasn’t prepared to cut her loose and let her sink.
Jesse sighed toward her abandoned plate. The rigid set of her shoulders slackened. She blew out a frustrated breath and ran her hands over her face. “Which means lots of protein and working out?” Despite her words, she still looked doubtful.
“That’s exactly right.” Maddox eyed her again. Damn it, he should be the last man on Earth to be taken in by one of the infected. But he couldn’t stop looking at her; all pale, blond, and tall. Though she looked as fragile as crystal, an unbreakable shell of determination kept her from cracking and shattering.
Despite the odds stacked against her, this exquisite and extraordinary young woman had managed to keep herself alive.
Gut instincts aside, he already knew he’d soon be butting heads with Reyen. In the Indian’s mind-set, the only good demon was a dead demon. He could already imagine the argument his partner would give him: If Maddox was wrong about her control, he might be introducing a dangerous element into the group.
It was a good thing he had his own argument ready. At least, he hoped he did. Somehow he had to convince Reyen that Jesse was exactly what she appeared to be—a frightened woman in a terrible situation over which she had no control.
He’d also have to persuade Reyen that Jesse wouldn’t falter. He was convinced she’d be an asset to their small cluster.
Well, almost.
As one who’d lived well past a human being’s normal life span, he’d learned one thing: Don’t get personally involved.
The rule that had kept him alive didn’t seem to matter anymore. So far he’d bent it to the point of breaking. He wondered how much more flexibility he’d have before his disobedience turned around and bit him on the ass.
Jesse immediately picked up her fork and stabbed at the pile of cold eggs. Shoveling them into her mouth, she forced herself to chew and then swallow. “Tastes like shit.” Another scoop followed. “But I’ll eat until I puke,” she promised.
Maddox shook his head. “Don’t take it that far. Just eat until you’re full. And keep it down.” He glanced toward the clock again. Hmm. He needed to get moving.
Digging out his wallet, he flicked some money on the table to pay for the meal, adding a nice tip for Sassy.
“You going?” Jesse asked between bites.
Snuffing out the remnants of his cigarette, he slid out of the booth. “Yeah, I have to get to work,” he answered with a fatalistic shrug. “Work is the price a man pays if he wants to live on the face of this earth. Can’t afford to lose this job.”
She hung on his every word, nodding. “What am I supposed to do?”
His fingers dipped into his wallet again. He flicked a hundred-dollar bill toward Jesse. “Get a few things you need. Meet me on Bourbon Street around eight. There’s a bar called Big Mike’s. It’s not for tourists, so it’s a little hard to find. There’s no sign, but you’ll know it by the lamp outside.”
Jesse smirked. “Don’t tell me it burns red.”
Maddox puffed out an exasperated breath. “No. It’s green. You can’t miss it.” Sticking his hands in his pockets, he shook his head. Even knowing what he might have to face later, he still couldn’t bring himself to toss Jesse away like so much garbage. Even though he’d known her less than a day, he was attracted to her and felt protective of her. Consequently, he had the overwhelming urge to prove she belonged with his kind. His objectivity, if he’d ever had any since laying eyes on her, was completely shot.
Reyen might have other ideas, he reminded himself. But he didn’t have the heart to mention that to her now.
She popped a piece of bacon in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. “Is that like your bat cave or something? Where you hang with the slaying crew?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, I hang with the crew there. As for the secret bat cave, you have to earn your way into there.”
She shoved more meat into her mouth. “How do you do that?”
“You make good on your first kill and you get to be in the club. Then you’ll get a button and learn the secret handshake.”
She laughed, lightening her serious features. “I’d rather have a gun and a really big-ass knife,” she countered.
He couldn’t help smiling. “Somehow I think you’ll be getting your hands on both those things soon.”
Chapter 6
After Maddox had departed for work, Jesse lingered in the diner for another half hour. The conversation she’d had with Maddox came drifting back. She had the strength of a demon simmering inside her. Though she’d hardly dared to explore the notion in her conscious mind, she couldn’t avoid listening to the demon shouting in her ear during the long stretch of time between sunset and sunrise. At night, when she was still and quiet and struggling to find peace, the beast inside roared through her skull like a cyclone.
It begged, pleaded, implored, and cajoled her to feed it, to give it a taste of the warm, rich liquid it so desired.
In return, it made promises, offering her the wondrous ability to walk through time unscathed, if only she’d agree. Yes, she would have to feed from the hearts of men. But what did it matter? Such a weak and insignificant race had little value, for had not the Enlightened One given Xaphan and his minions free rein over the realm of Earth?
It was the dilemma of temptation; one mankind had struggled with since the beginning of time. Which side should one choose when faith was shaken and the soul compromised?
She nibbled her lip with uncertainty and fisted her hand around her empty coffee cup, torn between the fear in her past and the uncertainty of her future. Would she still be Jessanne Jane Burke, daughter of Jim and Cheryl Burke, twin sister of Amanda Amy? Would she still have her own mind, her own memories . . . or would crossing over mean the demon gained full control of her body?
An unfamiliar weight lay heavily on her shoulder. A softly accented voice sliced through the chaos in her mind. “Are you all right, honey?” Sassy asked.
Jesse lifted herself with a jerky heave. Her entire body trembled with the effort. Nevertheless, she drew back her shoulders and called on all her inner willpower to appear calm. Her stomach was churning acid.
“I’m okay,” she mumbled, rubbing at her eyes. “Just a little tired.”
The black woman gave her a long look. “You look as if you’ve been places nobody wants to see, little girl,” she said presciently.
A tic of frustration tugged at the corner of her mouth. She was trying to be strong. “You aren’t kidding.”
Sassy offered another pat. “Whatever’s draggin’ you under, don’t let it win. W
e got a lot o’ trials in this bad world, but you gotta remember this: What don’t kill you makes you stronger.” Rolling her eyes toward the ceiling, she sighed and added, “I just hope this fallin’down place isn’t the death of me.”
Her words resonated. If that’s true . . . , Jesse thought. Then she stopped herself. No. Not yet. This wasn’t the time or the place.
Later, she’d think about it—when she had some time alone.
Right now she should get going. She’d wasted enough time.
Sassy scooped up the money Maddox had left behind, then picked up Jesse’s empty plate. “You want another cup of coffee, honey?”
“No, thanks.” Jesse eyed the hundred-dollar bill Maddox had left for her. Earlier she’d folded it into a little square and set it aside. A part of her felt guilty for accepting the money. Maddox obviously worked hard for the cash. Like so many others, he seemed to barely scrape by, living on the fringes of what could rightly be called poverty.
That was his choice, though. He’d said as much. There were more important things to spend money on than a nice apartment and a sporty car. Besides, did material possessions really matter in this world? The flooding from the hurricane should have taught people a lesson. All an individual truly had were the clothes on his back and the determination to survive.
The rest was immaterial.
Realizing that she needed to think about something else, Jesse snagged the bill. She had a lot of hours to kill before meeting Maddox, with no place to go and nothing to do.
She might as well shop.
Sliding out of the booth, Jesse stopped long enough to ask the cashier working behind the register to break the bill down into more manageable bills, mostly ones and fives. Waving good-bye to Sassy, she headed out onto the street.
The neighborhood that had looked so ominous and unwelcoming the night before simply looked sad by the light of day. Any decency or dignity the place might have possessed in the past was long gone, probably never to return. The Northside Ward had taken a bad beating from the hurricane. More than half the area had already been abandoned before the storms hit. Poor blacks and immigrant laborers desperate for homes, but unable to afford housing in other areas of the city, had risked flooding and disease to build their lives here. Isolation from the rest of the city and lack of adequate drainage systems had contributed to its slow growth. Those who’d dared to try to survive in the poverty-ridden area had mostly been driven out by the floodwaters.