by Nikki Wild
“Excellent,” he murmured, reaching out to brush the backs of his knuckles down my upper arm. It took everything in me not to retch. “That’s excellent, Lucy. Thank you.”
“Yes,” I replied. It was the only safe thing to say.
He turned away from me in an almost military fashion, striding toward the dining room without sparing me so much as a backward glance. “I’m ready for dinner,” he announced. Despite the surety of his movements there was something distant about his tone, as if he suddenly found himself with a lot on his mind. “Please call Mr. Richards down so that we can all eat together. I would like very much to get to know him better while he’s staying with us.”
I still wasn’t sure what Delfino’s interest in Leo was. It couldn’t be anything good. Still, there was no point in disobeying him, and my earlier conversation with Leo had made me feel like it was possible that for once, Delfino didn’t quite have the upper hand he thought he did. Hope, as I had said before, was a cruel thing. But sometimes that brand of cruelty can be a light in the dark. And when you’d been in the dark as long as I had, you took whatever glimmer you could get. Even if it turned out to be naught but fool’s gold.
“Of course,” I said, swallowing the nervous quaver in my voice as I forced a smile. He had sought my eyes for some deception, some betrayal of what Leo and I were actually up to while he was gone, but I knew by now how to remain impenetrable. Could Leo say the same? He might not be afraid of Father, but the flash bang of his anger could just as easily give us away.
I mounted the stairs to the guest room and rapped on the door. When Leo said “Yeah?” I assumed that meant it was all right for me to come in.
Boy, was I wrong.
“Dinner is…” I began as I opened the door. But I couldn’t finish my sentence, because suddenly my mouth was full of saliva and the part of my brain that controlled language shut down. I sputtered something unintelligible instead, my eyes glued to Leo’s ass as he pulled up his boxers and khakis in one fell swoop. He had his shirt off, allowing me to slowly raise my gaze up the curve of his spine to the coiled muscles of his broad shoulders, then the cut of his jaw, and finally his face as he turned and raised a brow.
“Ready?” he asked me.
I nodded dumbly. “Uh-huh.”
And then I realized he was talking about whether food was prepared, rather than if I was, and the ensuing rush of blood to my face made me dizzy.
“Good,” Leo said, reaching for the dress shirt on the bed. He grunted faintly as he put his arms through it, straining the muscles housing his broken ribs. “You remember what I told you?”
I stepped around him to assist in dressing him, my fingers trembling, but not so much that I couldn’t do up his buttons. “Just relax and we might be able to get through this,” I quoted him. “So long as neither of us slips up, then we should be fine.”
“Probably easier said than done,” Leo muttered, lips thinning in disapproval as I tucked the front of his shirt into his waistband. “But nobody said it’d be a simple task.” The back of my knuckles skirted over the front of his boxers and I felt him twitch through the fabric. When I looked back up at him, the corners of his mouth had quirked up. His eyes gleamed.
I ignored him. There was no way we were going to be able to get through dinner if we got all riled up. As Leo reached for me I slipped through his grasp and hurried back toward the door. “Nothing worth doing is ever easy,” I said.
He looked me up and down. “You got that right.” I hoped that by the time we reached the dining room, the blush would have disappeared from my cheeks.
Downstairs at the dinner table, costuming myself in every scrap of composure I could piece together, I led Leo to his chair across from Delfino and helped him get situated. He was mostly dismissive of my attempts, or otherwise impassive to them, but we both knew I had to put on a show if Father was to believe all was well between us. As I turned from Leo, I caught sight of Delfino out of my periphery. He regarded Leo with such cool contempt it made my skin crawl.
I hated to leave them alone, even for a second. But someone had to serve dinner.
I’d already plated everything for them, thankfully, which meant I didn’t have to spend a lot of time out of their sight. I hurriedly returned, the nape of my neck clammy with dread as I set their meals down—steak and onions, Delfino’s favorite.
“Mr. Richards,” he said, a tone in his voice that might have come off friendly, if it weren’t for the underlying unease it instilled in me. “Leo.”
He seemed to chew on this word for a moment as I seated myself on his right side with my own plate. My heart was pounding, my palms sweating. I already knew that something was wrong, but I couldn’t divine for the life of me what it might be. I was so frightened that Delfino already suspected something was going on between Leo and me; that somehow he knew everything that we had planned.
“Tell me about yourself,” he continued at long last, scrutinizing Leo from across the table. “I’m eager to hear about the life a man such as yourself leads. You must have a great many stories.”
“I’m not sure that the kind of stories I have are the sort you’d want to hear,” Leo replied, glancing my way for just a moment. I wanted to curse him for it. If Father noticed, then whatever he might suspect would all but be confirmed. We had to act like we’d never known one another until now… and Leo was already doing a poor job of it.
“Is that so?” Delfino steepled his hands. “Do you think that people like us wouldn’t be able to handle listening to your exploits, Mr. Richards? The tales of your sexual conquests and criminal activities as a member of a motorcycle gang?”
“None of that is any of your business,” Leo said, his knuckles white as he gripped the table. I could see the strain on his face as he tried not to look at me, and part of me even hoped that he would. What conquests was Delfino talking about?
“I suppose not,” he said, “but I have every right to know who it is that’s living in my house, don’t I? After all, the last time you and your friends were in town you extorted us out of money in order to ensure you left us all alone. And now here you are, back again and without the rest of your gang of hooligans. So, you can at least forgive me for having a few questions, can’t you?”
Leo stared at his steak before cutting himself a piece and taking a bite, an excuse to keep himself from giving Delfino the answers he sought. But the longer Leo avoided the question, the more I began to wonder about it myself. I knew that Leo was involved in a biker gang, but had he really been a con man? An extortionist?
“You talk about us like we’re the mafia,” Leo said after a moment. I tried not to faint at his choice of words. “We’re just a bunch of guys who like to ride. That’s all.”
Delfino paused a moment, smirking. That was the only indication he gave that Leo had struck a nerve.
“And the money you extorted from the town?” he asked, leaning forward like a predator scoping out the jugular of his prey. “Does that fall beneath the purview of ‘enjoying a good ride’?”
“That wasn’t my decision,” Leo answered, his eyes on his steak again. “I just happened to be there when it happened. Wrong place, wrong time.”
I wondered how much of that was true. Leo didn’t seem to me like the kind of guy who was out of the loop on much of anything.
“So you weren’t involved?” Delfino asked, eyebrows raised. “Then what were you doing while you were here, Mr. Richards? Surely you didn’t just keep yourself holed up in that motel for all that time.”
My stomach clenched. I knew the answer to that question, of course, and I could only hope that Leo wasn’t dumb enough to answer. For all that time, Leo had been with me.
“I kept my nose clean, if that’s what you’re asking,” Leo said, glaring at Delfino over his plate. “Besides that, there’s not a damn thing I did that’s any of your business.”
I watched the both of them stare one another down, my throat tightening with a sense of impending doom I had
come to know very well over these years of living with Delfino. I wanted to say something, to do something to save Leo from possibly letting something slip. My biggest fear was that he would get angry and say something without thinking… and I prayed that that fear would never be realized.
“W-Would either of you like anything for dessert?” I asked, my voice strangled, but I could think of nothing else to say that wouldn’t be read as insolence. I needed to distract them somehow.
“That sounds lovely,” Delfino said, the corners of his mouth turning up in a smile that I didn’t altogether find comforting. “What are we having?”
“Raspberry crumble,” I mumbled, glad that I was at least able to defuse the silence somehow.
Delfino smiled. It was cruel. “Well, Lucy. If I didn’t know any better, I would say that you were trying to placate me.”
“Not at all. I just thought you deserved a nice dinner,” I lied, my face turned away from him to save me from any chance he might glean my dishonesty from a break in my expression. These last few years had taught me a lot, especially how to keep a secret.
Eleven
Leo
“Sit down,” Lucy said, pushing myself off of the chair to head into the kitchen. It was the morning after our kiss, and Lucy was busying herself in the kitchen making me and Delfino breakfast. “I’ll get it for you.”
But just as I was about to get up, Lucy turned, closing the distance between us with what had to be superhuman speed, and pressed her hand to my chest, pushing me back down into my seat. It hurt. Kind of a lot.
“No,” she said as she stood in front of me, blocking me from getting up. Her eyes flickered in the direction of Delfino’s bedroom. “You’re not supposed to be lifting a finger while you recover.”
“I just don’t want you to have to do everything yourself,” I said, once again attempting to get up from my seat. But Lucy had no intention of letting me stand anytime soon.
“You need to play along,” she whispered over the sound of dresser drawers being rummaged through from the master bedroom. “Wait until Delfino leaves, and then you can do whatever you want.”
“Is that a promise?” I asked, a devilish grin crossing my face.
“Shut up!” she hissed, as her cheeks flushed scarlet, her voice dropping to a range that was just barely above a whisper. “Do you know how much trouble we’ll be in if he hears you?”
Despite her protests, I couldn’t help catching the slight smile forming on her lips. That alone gave me enough hope to suffer through playing the part of an invalid while Lucy attended to my needs for as long as Delfino was around. I hated acting so useless. I wasn’t the kind of man to let anyone wait on me when I was capable of doing it myself.
And even if I wasn’t capable… goddammit, I still wanted to try.
“I hope you two are getting along,” came Delfino’s voice from the hallway that led to his bedroom.
Both Lucy and I turned toward the noise as the old man came sauntering out of his room, wearing a crisp black suit that reminded me all too much of a priest—only there was something about it that seemed off, aside from the missing collar, or even the fact that the man in it wasn’t at all godly. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Lucy had said, about the grip that this man supposedly had over the entire town.
“Of course we are,” Lucy said, shooting me a quick look before she glided over to the old man. “What would you like for breakfast?”
Her eyes seemed almost dead, a blank stare masked by a practiced smile as she awaited his request. To see that look in her eye, that mix of despair and lifelessness, broke my heart, but I knew that unless I pushed her, that spark buried deep down inside of her would never see its way back to the surface.
“Nothing this morning Lucy,” Delfino said, patting her on the shoulder as a reward for her attentiveness. “I have a great deal of business today.”
Lucy closed her eyes a moment as he turned away from her, an expression of relief on her face as she watched Delfino walk toward the front door. It was strange the way he always seemed to be in such a hurry to leave, and never departed without a reminder to Lucy of her “duty” to me. When she accompanied him to the stoop, she kissed his cheek. I wasn’t sure how she did it without throwing up.
As soon as she’d closed the door behind him, she leaned against it with a tremendous sigh, as if she’d just finished running a marathon.
“Are you okay?” I asked, walking over to her as I heard Delfino’s car pull out of the driveway. She looked exhausted, a sheen of nervous sweat making her forehead glisten.
“I’m just glad he’s gone,” she said, looking up into my eyes. She tried to force a smile, but I could see right through it. I’d seen that expression enough times looking in the mirror to know better.
“But what’s really bothering you?” I asked. “Did he say something out there?”
“He told me again about how I need to take care of you,” she said, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. “But the way he said it seemed… strange.”
I drew her close to me, making sure to take it easy with just how strongly I pulled her into my body. “What do you mean?”
“I need to ask you something,” Lucy said against the fabric of my shirt, pulling me from my thoughts. “Something that I’ve been wanting to ask ever since you left.”
“Anything you want to know,” I told her. “I’m an open book for you, babe.”
“Why did you leave?” she asked, four simple words that posed more difficulty in answer than if it had been a thousand. “Why didn’t you take me with you?”
At first I wasn’t sure how I could answer her, how I could explain all the complex machinations that had happened between then and now to lead us both to this point. I closed my eyes and held her tight against my chest, running my fingers through her hair. She had the most beautiful hair—soft, curly locks that fell through my fingers like water.
“I need you to understand before I continue that I never actually wanted to leave,” I said into that silken curtain. I was reminded of that night we’d shared, of the way I’d held her in my arms afterward in the rosy afterglow. That night was the best, and worst, memory I had.
“Then why did you?” When I looked down at her, I could see the shimmer of tears in her eyes. The way they refracted the light threatened to rip my heart right out of my chest. It was a simple question, but the answer… it was complicated enough that it might tear us apart.
“Because if I hadn’t, then…” I sighed, running my hand through my hair as I searched for the right words, words that I had practiced again and again but had lost right when I needed them most. “I was afraid of what might have happened to you if the others figured out what we were doing.”
“I don’t understand…” Lucy’s brow creased. Disbelief, confusion, and hurt marched across her features in a slow parade. “They didn’t know? Like you were keeping me some kind of secret from them? Leo… why?” She pushed away from me. “Oh my God. Were you ashamed of me?”
“Jesus, no!” I said, gently pulling her back into my arms—ribs be damned. “Let me start from the beginning.
“We had just gotten into town. I had only been with the club for a few months before I came here, and the old president had just kicked off about a week before that. The new guy, Jackal, was a real piece of shit, a complete asshole, who made it a point to let us know from the get-go that we were not to go out and get to know any of the townspeople here. Especially not the women.
“So the moment I got here, I managed to break rule number one, which would have been bad enough—but the longer we stayed, the more we started to realize just how weird things were, especially when it came to Delfino. He had Jackal spooked something fierce. I didn’t know why at the time, but there were whispers of some kind of turf war brewing. I thought it was bullshit. What one-horse town ends up as rival MC territory? I didn’t know he was mafia back then. But now that I do, it makes all kinds of sense. We were small-time, making most
of our cash by riding into towns like Pleasant Lakes and causing a ruckus, then offering to leave in exchange for a payday. We were in no condition to go up against the fucking mob.
“The longer we stayed, the more Jackal warned us to keep our noses clean when it came to getting friendly with the locals, and it got to the point where the last guy to break that rule got his ass handed to him on a silver platter. The longer you and I were together, the more I risked someone finding out, and if he was willing to nearly kill one of our own, I didn’t want to think of what he’d do to you if he found out I’d brought you with me on the back of my bike.”
“But then why didn’t you just leave?” she asked, as though it would have been so simple to walk away. “The club, I mean. Why didn’t you just… take off?”
“Because,” I said, letting a sigh of frustration out through my nose, “being a part of the club isn’t just about riding… it’s about belonging to something. It’s about being a part of a family, and they’d taken me in when I didn’t have anyone else. I owed them. Or I felt like I did. And I thought that it was better to keep you safe where you were than to risk anything happening to you because of me. They wouldn’t have been kind, especially not Jackal.”
“So you chose them over me,” she said quietly. “When it came down to it… you needed them more than you needed what I gave you.”
I shook my head at her. “No, Lulu. I chose your safety over my happiness, and yours. I was trying to protect you… even if it wasn’t the right call in the end.”
“Then what changed? Why’d you come back? Why’d you leave your family?”
“Because of what I caught our ‘fearless leader’ doing,” I said, tensing as I remembered the catalyst that had proven to me my place was here, with Lucy. “We were a few towns over from here, staying in a motel like we usually did, shaking down the locals to get us gone just like we’d done here. Only this time, things went differently.